Author: Alexia Berube

After my first year of college it's safe to say I’m completely comfortable, not in the sense that I’m where I want to be doing what I want to do, but comfortable of where I’m going. And who I’m going with.

I’m so grateful for little reminders that let me know I’m going places. I’m seeing creation for what it is and looking at how the people around me interpret it as well. I can’t help but be joyful and happy and content for the things that have partially been accomplished and are radiating brightly to come.

If you don’t have goals, set some, if your friends don’t, find some who do. Life’s too short not to be happy about not only the present but also the future.

That being said, here's everything I learned about life, love, and happiness my first year of college;

1. No, I don't need you in my life.

Remove those people from your life that make you feel bad about yourself. Delete numbers, old text threads, remove them from your life completely. Learn to surround yourself with happier people, read a silly book, pet some puppies. Hate is so unnecessary in this world, seriously don't voice your opinion if what you're going to say isn't more beautiful than silence.

2. Live for yourself and be happy on  your own.

Your years in college are meant to be spent discovering things about yourself. Become a whole person on your own, don't stress over someone not liking you back or hoping someone will fall in love with you. Relationships are great but remember that it isn't the only kind of love that exits. I've seen friendships that go deeper than couples who swear it's forever. Go on adventures, read a lot, talk to strangers, do something kind, smile as often as you can. Do all things will kindness and love but do not romanticize life like you can't live without it.

3. Don't settle.

No matter what career path you're deciding to take remember this: Never settle for less than you deserve. Make connections with people who have the same goals and ambitions you do. Cut out those connections that are cynical and opportunistic. Know your worth and never let someone take advantage of you. You'll never have more freedom than you do in college so do as much as you can or you'll regret it later.

4. Feed your brain, a lot.

Spend your free time learning something new, expose your brain to new and different ideas and perspectives. You never know what opening new ideas can do for your everyday life. Learn, be curious, wonder, question everything, think.

5. Read everything.

 It's the equivalent of living multiple lives; reading can stimulate your imagination, thinking skills,and ultimately it’s just food for thought.

Read about everything and anything. Ask professors, parents, random people what their favorite books are. You will notice yourself becoming packed full of ideas and experiences.

6. People will always surprise you

The friends you make your first semester of college often won't be there towards the end. Never let people walk all over you by setting your expectations for others too high. Remember that it takes time get to know people. Good or bad, everyone that comes into your life is a lesson.

7. Everyone's just as lost as you  are, I promise.

 It takes time to fit in. If you're constantly feeling like you don't belong or aren't happy your first few weeks, don't worry you're not alone. We've all been there.

Sit in the library alone, go to those freshman activities, take a class at the gym — get the full college experience. Everything will start to fall naturally into place. Soon you'll have friends who you couldn't imagine your life without.

Coming into college can be an intimidating experience. Leaving home and, essentially, starting over in a whole new place is often very challenging. The whole process becomes so much easier if you meet a solid group of people that end up becoming some of your closest friends.

Everything you endure they end up enduring with you. They make your home away from home so much more enjoyable. I am so thankful for the group of friends I made during my first year; I couldn't have gotten through it all without you guys.

Dear Friends,

I just wanted to thank you all for being my first friends at school. Thank you for being there for one heck of a year that consisted of more 2 a.m. runs to 7-11 than anything else. Thank you for all the endless nights we stayed up way too late and ended up getting yelled at by our RA for being too loud. I wouldn't trade the memories we made this year for anything.

I'm glad we were all placed in the same hall and had the opportunity to become as close as we did. We all ended up knowing everything about each other by the end of the year (including, of course, the things we did not always need to know). You guys have become some of my closest friends and I will always value the friendships we have.

Thank you for helping me get through this year. You all helped make the transition into college as smooth as it could've been. Thanks for going from being completely clueless about everything with me in the beginning of the year to knowing how to perfectly time how fast you must walk to get to the furthest building in under five minutes.

Thanks for supporting me smashing pumpkins out of frustration in the bathroom. Thanks for enduring and going through mental breakdowns with me (life is tough). Thank you all for being my rock.

I'll never forget how hard I've laughed with you guys. Even when I went through some of the hardest times this year, you guys never failed to give me reasons to laugh. I'm forever grateful for that.

Thank you for spending money on Chipotle with me even though our bank accounts were literally on the brink of negatives. Thank you for complaining about that one professor with me that gave us all a hard time. Thank you for sitting out in the hallway at 4 a.m. with me after going out just to talk about the most pointless things.

Thank you for listening to me vent and offering your best advice when you could. Thank you for being my ultimate partners in crime; we really did engage in some of the craziest things. I'm glad I am able to tell these stories to people about everything we did. In my book, every decision we made was never a bad one.

All in all, thanks for making this year the best. Thank you for being down for anything and everything this year. Thank you for all the support. I appreciate you guys more than you know and I'm so grateful to have met you all.

You've made an irreversible mark in my life. I can't wait to see what the next year brings. I love you all.

You helped me see just how far I could push myself before finally breaking.

Thank you for always making me feel like I had to try harder; you taught me how to never give up. I needed you, or I thought I did, so I fought for you – even when I was well past the point where I should have given up.

Thank you for fighting with me. Because of you, I learned how to better pick my battles. Battles that are avoided aren’t lost, they’re just not worth the energy. 

Thank you for showing me how to share my life with someone. You gave me the confidence to fully be myself and prepared me for a better life. 

Thank you for letting me love you, even though it was emotionally exhausting. I loved and loved and loved, hoping that maybe one day you would return it all…but you never did. 

Thank you for showing me what love isn’t about. You ‘loved’ me when I was mad at you, when you needed something, or when you were guilty; it was never just about us.

You do not and never did deserve me, but I’ve found someone who does. Because of you, I’m not as weak. I don’t break as easily and I know how to stand up for myself. 

Yes, you made me insecure when you threw the life we’d built away without good reason, but I’m so thankful you did. I had to learn to get back up and move forward. I found the strength to smile through the pain. 

Since then, I couldn’t be happier. I learned to love myself and in the process found someone who loves me with his whole heart. He sees my flaws and loves me anyway. He accepts me for who I am.

Thank you for helping shape the person I’ve become. If I’d never met you, I wouldn’t have experienced nearly as much pain but I also wouldn’t be where I am today. 

I loved the person I thought you were, but I could never really love you. I planned a future in my head and tried to fit you into it, but you were never the person I needed.

Because fate had already planned my blissful future and it didn’t include you. Strangely, my life looks a lot like the one I’d planned in my head… except in this one, I’m smiling.

Why does everyone feel the need to touch each other these days? Hugs, high fives, tapping others on the shoulder, pokes, tickling, caressing, etc. 

For people like us, this is the hands down worst thing in the world. Whenever I think of someone touching me (even just a poke), without my permission, my reaction is like Sofia Vergara in Modern Family.

1. If you tickle me I’ll punch you in the throat. End of story.

I’m not laughing because I want to, you are literally forcing me to laugh and if you stop no one gets hurt.

I hate you and your greasy hands.

2. If you know my name, say it. Don’t tap me on the shoulder. Thanks.

You know what, even a ‘hey’ would suffice. I don’t need your grubby little fingers touching me. Now I’m annoyed with you before this conversation even started, what do you want?

3. Hugs are reserved for our moms. Not acquaintances. 

I don’t know who the hell you think you’re about to hug because it sure isn’t going to be me. 

4. Oh, you don’t think I’m affectionate? Nothin’ gets past you!

Are you aware there are ways to show my affection without constantly being all over you like a koala bear? I’m affectionate in my own ways, hop off. 

5. My person space means MY personal space. Not ours.

We could be best friends, we could be complete strangers. We could be lovers, I could hate your guts. We could be in private, we could be in public. 

I don’t care what the situation is, if you’re in my personal space uninvited GET OUT. There is no reason to be so close to me unwarranted.

6. Probably don’t come to me to be consoled. 

When you see an upset loved one, most people think they you should comfort then by pulling them into a long lasting hug. 

But, that’s the kind of things that your nightmares are literally made out of. So, you stand there confused how you should comfort your friend/relative while also not sacrificing your touch moral code. 

7. When people say I “look like I could use a hug” I die a little inside. 

Um no. I never could use one, get off of me. I will let you know when I want one.

8. How long are hugs supposed to last again? Asking for a friend.

Please end my suffering.

9. Arriving at a social gathering where people rush me with hugs…

Let’s not.

10. Then when I want to leave and a wave just doesn’t suffice for some people.

But we just hugged hello? Was that not good enough for you?

11. I can count on one hand how many people are allowed to touch me any time.

They exist we swear. We gladly accept their hugs and cuddles and public displays of affection. But only them, no one can copy them.

Let’s be real, love is probably the most confusing, beautiful yet horrible emotion we feel. It can either make or break us, yet we never seem to give up on it.

Falling in and out of what we think is the start of love has helped to clear the path of what differentiates actual love from the ‘idea’ of love. 

It’s easy to like someone, to want to spend time with someone and enjoy all the good times, but is that love? 

We could be totally infatuated with someone physically and ache for their body to be near our bodies, but then we realize we’re totally blindsided. We think the emotions are there when actually, they’re nowhere to be found.  

Because love isn’t just the good times, love is fighting through the tough times and growing closer with every resolution made.

Falling in love with someone is more complex yet, serene and has a definition that is nearly unexplainable. The feeling of being in love with someone physically cannot be placed into words. 

Love revolves around emotions and means putting that person as a top priority, yet taking care of yourself and doing what’s best for the both of you regardless of the situation. 

Love does not blindside you but keeps you sane. Love is sanity. 

It doesn’t ignore imperfections but takes them at face value and sees them as part of their beautiful self.

Love sees the “bad” in someone yet chooses to look past these “bad traits” and not mind. Imperfection is beauty and love see just this – imperfections shine through love and come out being imperfect perfections.

We accepting someone for all that they are, all that they were, and all that they are yet to become is a key component in what love truly means. 

Somewhere along the way, we meet this person and we just get this feeling deep in our souls that we want to make them happy for the rest of their life. 

And sure, “I love you” comes with a powerful meaning and should not be rushed into, but if truly deep down in our hearts we feel that way…then why wait? 

Learning to love someone is challenging, but it is one of the most rewarding challenges we will ever face. Each and every passing day love becomes more and more clarified. 

We may not know all levels of love, we may not have even been in love yet, but one thing that is certain is that all of us are destined to find the one who we are meant to be with.

And when that happens, we’ll never be more certain about anything else in our lives.

1. Pay Attention to What Your High School Teachers Have to Say

A lot of high school teachers never seem to know when to stop talking and appear ridiculously out of touch with what life is like outside of the walls of your school, but they can certainly teach you a thing or two. Actually listening to their reminiscent stories or mindless babbling may benefit you. They may teach you where the best place to shop on a budget is, how to solve a conflict in your life, or they may just make you laugh on a bad day.

2. Attend All Of The Last "Whatevers" You Can

The final pep rally, basketball game, or school dance may seem annoyingly hyped up, but I highly suggest attending your "lasts", even if they're not quite your thing. Worst case scenario, the experience is unenjoyable and you complain about it for months on end. Best case scenario, you're left with good, humorous memories to look back on. Either way, you won't have to be worried about being left with "what-ifs."

3. Cherish Having Your Parents Around

Once you're on your own, you'll miss having your parents around to make you a dinner that isn't Easy Mac or to occasionally do your laundry. It's likely you'll even miss them nagging you to clean your room. Without them, your bed is likely to be left unmade for months on end. This is one of my biggest regrets. Spend a Saturday night in playing board games or cooking dinner with your family. Just take the time to talk to them.

4. Take As Many Pictures as You Can

Sometimes people who take endless videos, selfies, and photos are considered annoying, but do it anyways. Looking back, you'll be thankful to have too many memories to laugh at rather than not enough.

5. Say A Lot of Thank-Yous

Sometimes you might feel corny saying thank you to everyone, but you should do that anyways as well. It may be awhile before you get the chance to say thank you to a lot of your peers' faces, so overuse the phrase while you still can. Everyone else will appreciate it too.

6. Clean Out Your Closet

Whether you're living in a dorm or an apartment, it's almost guaranteed your closet in college is much smaller than your closet at home. Obviously, you don't have to take everything with you, but you'll still find yourself helplessly trying to cram all of your favorite outfits into your shoebox–I mean closet. Cleaning out your closet before the summer starts will relieve the pressure later on. If you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it.

7. Sleep Is Not As Important As The Memories You Could be Making

Sure, rest is important. Even so, you have to be prepared to get little to none of it in college. That being said, never pass up plans because you're tired, and especially not in your final days of being in high school. You'll look back be much more thankful for the funny stories you have to tell rather than the fact that you got 8 hours of sleep.

8. Hang Out With Everyone

In high school, it's not uncommon that people don't branch out past their immediate friend group. I highly suggest that you do exactly the opposite. Hang out with everyone you can. A year from now, you may wish you could catch up with that cool girl from history that you never really talked to outside of class. Instead of feeling like it's too late or it'll be too awkward, hang out with her while you still can.

It's finally here, today is officially the beginning of the end. After this Friday, I will never experience a high school class or environment again. Normally this thought would make me happy, but instead it's caused me to do nothing but reminisce, and realize that I will actually miss high school and the amazing friends I have made here. Just last week I was wishing this day would come. In the midst of these four years it felt like a lifetime, but now, suddenly it feels like those years just went by in an instant. I'm finally learning how to make each day here count, although I only have a few. Below are the things I've come to realize with only four days left of high school.

Why did I wish away my senior year?

I'm sitting at my desk writing this article on my last Monday morning of high school. My head is filled with nothing but mixed emotions. I'm beyond excited for college, but I'm coming to realize that I will miss dreaded Mondays like this. Back in September, all I could think about was this day and how badly I wanted it to come. Now that it's finally here, I want nothing more than to go back in time and tell myself to enjoy the present. I will miss so much about high school. Student sections, screaming my lungs out. Friday night bonfires with the crew.. My senior year of high school was undoubtedly the best year of my life (so far). Although I really did enjoy it, I wish I could've lived more in the moment. To any underclassmen reading this, I mean this with all of my heart, please do your best to truly enjoy high school. Whatever you may think right now, you will miss it.

Despite What I Thought, I WILL Miss My Teachers.

My teachers have become like second parents to me. I reach out to them whenever I am in trouble or need help, and they've always been there for me. I will truly miss the comfort and companionship the faculty gives us and the sense of community it provides.

Its Really Never Too Late To Make New Friends.

Starting freshman year already with my own friend group, I was extremely closed off to and even judgmental of others in my grade–I regret this more than anything. Aside from having my friends who I've been through it all with, my last year in high school was different. My senior year I reached out, and became close with my entire grade. I really got to know all of them, and I value all of my relationships with them. I made so many new friends that I really, really wish I would've spent time with to sooner. Every person at my school is unique and friendly in their own way, and I will miss every single one of them.

I Love My School.

From kindergarten to senior year, its hard leaving my "bubble" that I've been in for so long. From many bad times to so many good times, I couldn't imagine having gone anywhere else. I'll especially miss moments like my free periods, on sunny days with my friends, spent laying out on the quad blasting good music and having a great time. I love my school and I am blessed to have spent an amazing eight years here.

High School Relationships Are Really Funny.

I mean this with absolutely no disrespect to high school couples whatsoever. For the most part, I find high school couples both genuine and most adorable. However, I can't do anything but laugh when I think about my "relationships" over the years–everything about them is just flat out humorous. Truthfully, I wish I wouldn't have wasted my time, energy, and emotions on boyfriends and relationships. If I could go back, I would spend my time with my friends and family; having fun, not worrying about who likes who, he said she said, etc.

Be Yourself — And Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously.

Being "popular" or "cool" is not everything. You do not need to have the largest amount friends, materialistic objects, or anything of the sort to make yourself happy. It's very important to have a head on your shoulders, to be yourself, and most importantly surround yourself with good people who make you feel loved. It's better to have one truly good friend than ten poor ones. Be yourself and do what makes you happy, because people will love you anyway and accept you for who you are. Don't change yourself for approval of others, because just like you shouldn't be judging others, people should not be judging you. Do not be afraid to be yourself and have fun. It's your senior year, its time to let loose and have a good time. Don't be afraid to joke around, and it's okay to miss a night of studying to go to a school basketball or football game. It's been a long four years, and you deserve that break. Senior year is a time for working hard and getting into college. It's certainly not a time for slacking off, but it wouldn't be your senior year if you weren't having a good time, joking around, and having actual fun.

Everything Happens For A Reason, And I Don't Regret A Thing.

That friend you stopped speaking to? That is the reason you made new friends that you are now thankful for, and that never would've happened without the previous event. That class or test you failed sophomore year? If that didn't happen, maybe you would've never been as motivated as you are now. I've also learned not to regret things that made me happy at the time. Everything I've done and been through is the reason I am where I am today, so no, I regret nothing.

Mend Broken Ties

"I'm never going to see them again so I don't care and it doesn't matter anymore." We've all had some kind of thought similar to this in our head. I get it. You've been with the same people for four entire years, sometimes people just don't get along or get fed up with each other. My only response to this kind of behavior is DO NOT BURN BRIDGES!! Can telling someone what bothers you help a situation? Yes. However, it is possible to solve drama by talking things out without creating bad blood. It's best to at least stay civil and not break ties, you don't want to end your year with those kind of bad vibes. At the end of the day loving and appreciating your community as a whole will make your high school experience have been more worth while. Trust me, be thankful for the people in your class. It's best to end things on a good note, not only for others but for yourself. I've realized its important to heal your broken relationships before you go to college.

I'll Simply Just Miss Everything.

I will miss everything about high school. Thinking about all the times I've stayed up late cramming for that horrible test I had the next day, or a stupid fight with a friend (which I considered life threatening at the time), or anything else–none of these small "bad" pieces compare to the amazing memories I've made in high school. When I look back on my past four years here, I only remember the good times. Everything (both the bad and the good) I experienced in high school just contributes to how much I will miss my time spent here. I will miss seeing those certain people, early in the morning, that put the biggest smile on my face for absolutely no reason. Even my worst, most boring classes that I fool around in with my friends, which makes the teachers angry, but we knew they'd still miss us anyways.

I will miss all of it. I realized that I've come to love the my class more than anything, and I wish them nothing but the best of luck for the years to come. I know just like how they make me happy, they'll all be bringing that same joy to others in schools all over the country–and every single one of you will kill it.

Summer is the perfect time to just get lost in something. When the sun sets late and there's inevitably more free time, there's no excuse to not be living your best life. 

Find yourself. Chase your happiness. Do things that make you want to put your phone down. Make memories that will last a lifetime. Just live.

1. Go to a concert, music is so much better when it's live.

2. Send a letter to a random address and see if they write back. Why not?

3. Play Wal-Mart Bingo. Google it, it's a total blast.

4. Volunteer to walk dogs at the Humane Society, so many cute pups need a little love.

5. Mini-golf and take ridiculous selfies on the course. Because tiny everything is just too fun.

6. Bonfires. Because there's no better way to spend a serene summer night.

7.Explore nearby towns. You might just find some cool spots right near you that you never even knew about.

8. Partake in Taco Tuesday every Tuesday. Challenge yourself to make a different type every time.

9. Create a scavenger hunt with your friends, pick any kind of ridiculous theme you want.

10. Explore old buildings. Urbex is a thing for a reason — it's so amazing what you find.

11. Go to the mall and give yourself a completely new look. Get a free makeover at the beauty counter and everything.

12. Learn to crochet. After all,  DIY is in.

13. Take a makeup lesson at Sephora.

14. Go downtown and take artsy pics in the allies. Your Instagram will instantly look so much cooler.

15. Make a shirt that says "life" and hand out lemons on the street. Being silly in public is more fun than you think.

16. Buy a stranger their coffee. It's amazing what a little kindness can do.

17. Rent a canoe and go out on the closest lake. 

18. Or rent a paddleboard and hone your balancing skills there instead.

19. Write nice and funny things on sticky notes and put notes on random cars.

20. Build an incredible blanket fort. Make sure to get some pics.

21. "People Watching Bingo." Google it. 

22. Go skateboarding…

23. Or on a hike…

24. Or to the beach!

25. Challenge yourself to take some beautiful pictures every single day. They can be of anything at all!

26. Go on long drives with the windows down and your hair blowing in the wind.

27. Go for a drive with your passenger blindfolded, tell them to give you directions and see where you end up.

28. Splurge on an all-out junk food day. 

29. Write cute letters to your future spouse. Keep them somewhere they won't get lost.

30. Two words: Trampoline Park.

31. Find some podcasts you really like. You can learn so much when you listen for half an hour.

32. Find out when a 5k is happening, find a costume, and run the race in it.

33. Make Hogwarts acceptance letters and mail them to random addresses.

34. Free slurpies at 7/11 on July 11th. 

35. Go to a theme park and ride all the rollercoasters.

36. Go to a waterpark…

37. And on a road trip with friends.

38. Camp outside under the stars…

39. And make sure you go skinny dipping.

40. Slow dance with someone you love.

41. Act like a kid again and have water fights…

42. Play kickball…

43. Drink milkshakes. Lots of them…

44. And go swimming often.

45. Stay out late every night.

46. GET AS DARK AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

47. Fall asleep with chlorine in your hair and go swimming the next day. IDGAF, right?

48. Take old fashioned photo booth pics with friends. 

49. Take an art class…

50. Or a cooking class.

51. Go to the zoo…

52. And then go bowling after.

53. Volunteer at a sleepaway summer camp, it's the most fun you'll ever have.

54. Go to greenhouses, buy flowers, plant them, repeat. 

55. Get pancakes at 2 am. Nothing is more delicious than a way too early breakfast.

56. Make some Tie-dye t-shirts.

57. Hit up a pool party.

58. Chalk up a sidewalk with your best art.

59. Go on a picnic…

60. And then watch the sunset.

61. Work on your summer body. Being fit just feels so good.

62. Help your mom out around the house, she probably could use a hand.

63. Clean your room…

64. Maybe even redecorate your room.

65. Get all wrapped up in a summer fling.

66. And take lots of Polaroids of the two of you.

67. Go to a house party with them…

68. And make out in the bathroom with no shame.

69. Get in some relaxing me-time.

70. But don't forget a movie night with the girls

71. Ride your bike on a bike trail…

72. Or go for a run.

73. Try learning some Yoga and finding your center. 

74. Chase some thrill and go cliff jumping (into a lake of course.)

75. Go tubing there too.

76. Maybe even meet some new people.

77. Get everyone together for a karaoke night.

78. Shamelessly sing your heart out.

79. Take a nap in a hammock.

80. Take your dog on a big day out to the dog park.

81. Have another bonfire.

82. And make s'mores.

83. Live for the moment…

84. And appreciate every beautiful day you're given.