Author: Alexis Tiffany

I thought I could change you and that was my first mistake. I know you never meant to break my heart but sometimes I wish you just left it where you found it. 

You knew you couldn't love me the way I deserved and I shouldn't have been one of your victim. Other times I realize I needed this in order to realize my worth to a man. 

You didn't break me but you did give me more strength and even more love and appreciation for my next relationship. 

The girls you lead on are going to get tired. They are going to see through your wit and charm and realize they deserve much better than the minimal effort you give to them. 

There will be girls who will not put up with your sh*t and there will be more girls like me who will wait. 

No girl is perfect. We will have our flaws but you are not the person who is allowed to point them out.

I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for you. 

You never have opened your heart enough to the joy, passion, understanding, commitment all to the one you love. 

You'll always be alone when you give half of your heart to a different girl. A girl you can't fully love. 

So I hope one day you will find the girl of your dreams. The girl you can fully give your heart to. The girl who in your eyes is worth it. 

I hope she is everything you wish for and I hope she does not break your heart like you did mine. I believe everyone, even you are deserving of love. 

Here's my goodbye and my thank you for letting me go. 

“A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with bricks other have thrown at her. ” – David Brinkley

I assure you, you will discover the difference between women who needs validation for their existence and the ones who work hard as hell to make a life and promising future for themselves. Never apologize for being intelligent. Never apologize for being independent. Never apologize for being ambitious. You’ll know the difference between a woman who sits on her ass and one who works her ass off. I hope you choose the one who’s not afraid to work in career she adores. I hope you find a woman who can pay her bills and who can think for herself. To me, nothing is as beautiful than a woman with a purpose.

1. You don’t have to have a man’s validation for your existence. You have your own light that shines without sharing the man you stand next to’s light. 

2. You can pay for your own Miss Me Jeans. Gifts are a beautiful gesture. Expecting a man to pay for something you want takes the sweetness out the gesture and turns into a demand. Ladies, take your credit card out if you need those jeans. Don’t use your man as an ATM. 

3. You pay your own bills and debts. You can go out into the world and make it without relying on someone elses paycheck. You understand how to live independently. How to work all day and still cook, clean, and run errands all in one day. 

4. You do not put down other people down. You do not need to degrade another to promote yourself. Simple as that.

5. You see your own value and worth. You understand that you are worthy of every blessing. You understand your beauty and your value to this world is irreplaceable. 

6. You follow your dream and passions. You set your sights and aim high. You do everything you can to be the good in this world and to make a change. Your calling is where your passion meets the worlds needs. 

7. You respect men that respect women. You love your man for everything he does for you. He understands you and respects your individuality and independence in this world. 

8. You have a purpose. Whether you run for senate, are on a mission to Haiti, or feeding and nurturing your newborn baby. You have a purpose. Don’t let anyone tell you different. 

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I don’t think this kind of happiness comes along too often. 

I think there’s someone out there that just fits your mold. 

Someone that finishes your sentences, orders the same foods as you, and pronounces the same words wrong just as you do. 

He will understand your humor and is just as quick-witted as you are. 

He is the only one who you’ll show the hidden places in your heart and the wild, crazy, and weird side of who you are that only a few have seen.

You will not be afraid to be your complete self with him. He will be more than your boyfriend but also your best friend. 

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"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold." -Zelda Fitzgerlad

There was a moment that stood out among the rest. A drunken summer night I sat on the kitchen floor in tears uncontrollably sobbing for whatever reason. I had no support to peruse this relationship and my heart was undoubtedly hurting.

The man that sat across from me was the love of my life but somehow I felt obligated not to love someone because of what people’s skewed judgment was.

I remember him looking down at his scar above his forearm and just above the inside of his elbow. He asked me if I knew how he got it. Deep down, I knew. I was too afraid to ask but he told me anyway. His words pierced my heart as he said “I was so disappointed the next day.” My heart broke and the tears poured.

All I could say back to him while chocking back the tears was “You have no idea how happy I am that it didn’t work” and my love for him grew deeper in that moment. Although, that scar was years before I met him I understood how much it still affected him to this day. No amount of my love could cure depression, I knew this. Despite the fact I continued.

In him, my happiness came from loving him. I loved kissing his scars and waking up daily next to the man I love. I love his laughter because I was so close to never being able to hear it.

I loved his smile because I know there were periods when he couldn’t. I memorized his dancing and singing in the car because It makes my heart happy to see his joy. I'm captivated by the way he looks at me because I see the love he feels for me.

There will be nights when you will be sobbing on the kitchen floor for hours questioning as to why the man you love feels the way he does. It will hurt you but I can guarantee you there will be better nights when you slow dance to your favorite songs on that kitchen floor with them. It will all be worth it.

I'll confess, what kills me the most is that I could have spent my whole life unaware that this man even existed. It breaks my heart but this relationship has made me understand love in a completely different way. I make it a priority to show this man my love because he is deserving of it.

Through this kind of love, I've learned this from him: Everyone is deserving to feel loved or worthy. I am begging you to know there is someone out there who will kiss your scars. No matter how deep they are, their love for you will be deeper.

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Watch as the single woman walks into the local coffee shop. She orders herself her usual soy vanilla latte and tips the new cute male barista an extra dollar in hopes he will put his number on the cup. As she smiles at him, she looks down and sees her named spelled with two extra Es This is a single woman in her natural habitat. 

Many of us know what it's like in the limbo stages before Prince Charming comes into the picture. We passive aggressively try and get the man we have our sights set on. During this phase of our life we may talk about tall dark and handsome but what we care more about is our tall americano.

As a single women, we are all too familiar with the struggle. So I have put together a list of 7 Habits of a Highly Successful Single Lady. If this is you. You're doing alright. 

1. Be Proactive- The Butt Warmer in your car is the most intimate moment you will have all day. Or all month.  

2. Begin With The End in Mind- Seeing the new guy in your social circle and before even introducing yourself you've already planned your wedding, house, 3 children and a wiener dog named LaMarcus with him.  

3. Put First Things First- Your heart races little bit more when you receive  notifications on your phone from Netflix. What girl does not want to know a new season of Arrow is out? Thanks Netflix, you got my back. 

4. Think Win-Win- You go to a particular restaurant 3 times a week because you think you have a chance with the cute waiter who always serves you. All you know about him is from the receipt where his initials are marked below "server" I will eat 50 euros until you get this hint I want to date you.

In reality, he will never get the hint he really just thinks you love the chicken euros. Hey, at least you get lunch in the process!

5. Seek First to Understand then be Understood- You're best friends keeps bragging about her new guy. You tell your friend a really hot UPS guy wants to take you out. In reality, the UPS man that asks you on a date… He's 60 with grey chest hair and a pierced ear.

You tell your friend you declined because "you're not ready to get serious". You also neglect to mention that was the first prospect in 6 months. Success.

6. Synergize- You get a little too excited when you look over to see a hot guy right beside you at the red light. You then realize he's you're 18 year old cousin and you need to go take a bath in hand sanitizer. Oops. I meant sanitize not synergize. 

7. Sharpen The Saw- When you realize you secretly want to put your pet as "mcm" not even as a joke, but of course that is socially unacceptable. Eh, what the heck. You put LaMarcus as you #MCM. You go Glen CoCo. 

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