Amanda Patterson, Author at Pucker Mob

To My Ex-Bestfriend Who Replaced Me

I’m not mad that you want to be her friend. That isn’t like me to get mad that my friends have other friends. I just hate the way you did it.

For months it was, “Why did you invite her?” “She’s ugly” or “She’s annoying”. Yet somehow in a week you guys became best friends. How does that make a person feel about their friendship with you? Well I’ll tell you. It makes me feel as though I can’t trust you. Like as soon as I walk away, you might tell someone else that I’m annoying or ugly. How can I trust someone who talked shit about a girl directly to my face and then thought it was okay to act like that never happened? I can’t do that, so please don’t ask me to.

Now I see everything you guys do together and it’s almost like you are trying to make me jealous. I don’t think I’ve ever had a friendship end that has hurt me so bad. I feel betrayed and replaced. Like our friendship didn’t matter enough to even try and save. And now it seems as though you are trying to hurt me worse on purpose.

You were my best friend and you saved me from a very low part of my life. I miss us being there for each other and telling each other all of our secrets. I knew I could come to you for anything and vent to you when I needed it. I wish we could still have that. I wanted to talk through this fight, but I just don’t think I can trust you anymore.

I just hope she is a good replacement. I’m not saying I’m perfect or have never done anything wrong. But I want you to realize all the times I was there for you and stood up for you, and I hope she can do all of that because I don’t want an apology. I’m done with the two faced lying and talking behind people’s backs. I want a friend who is sincere and trustworthy. I know you are a good person at heart, but you need to grow up. So this is a thank you for all the good times, but also a goodbye.

8 Ways To Help Save Your Bank Account

Money problems can be a huge stress on a person’s life. Hopefully these 8 tips can help save some of that stress.

1. Write yourself a budget

I mean physically write it, so that you can keep track of where your money is going. Go through your bank statement and calculate all the stuff you spent on money this month. A lot of it is unnecessary, right?! Make a list of all your bills including unscheduled monthly costs (gas, groceries, etc). After those are subtracted from your paycheck, budget yourself an amount of money to have fun with and don’t overspend! You’ll be surprised how much you save when you pay attention to where your money is going.

2. Stop eating out

Groceries for one person for two weeks can easily be bought with $100-$150 depending on if you are a brand name kind of person. By the time you spend $10 here and $15 there, fast food and restaurant checks add up. Check out your bank account and see how much you are spending every two weeks on food.

3. Use cash

You’ve made your budget and have decided how much you are going to allow yourself to spend on whatever makes you happy. Take that money out in cash. It’s super easy to lose track of what you are spending when you can just swipe a card and move on, but when you are using cash from your wallet, you’ll notice when it’s going away. Another alternative if you don’t feel safe with cash, is to get your bank’s app. You can check your account everyday and watch what you are spending.

4. Start a change jar

It might sound cliché, but think about all the change you have just lying around. It can add up quick! And even if it doesn’t, you weren’t using it anyway. Put it aside in a jar and when it gets full, turn it in and treat yourself to something.

5. Shop at the thrift store

If you haven’t noticed, most of the latest trends are things our parents used to wear when they were young. It’s great to look at thrift stores for cheap clothes and some you can even make into DIY projects. Get some old Levi’s and watch a youtube tutorial on how to make your very own holey boyfriend jeans for way less than your favorite store.

6. Sell unwanted clothing

Have any clothes you haven’t worn in months just taking up closet space? Take it somewhere like Plato’s closet and make money off of it. It might not be much, but more than what you were getting for it hanging in your closet.

7. Less bars hopping

Alcohol is expensive! If it isn’t in your budget, then don’t go out. Drinks at bars are ridiculously priced. Invite some friends over and buy some drinks from the gas station or grocery store for a third of the price. You'll also be saving on the uber or cab you'd have to take home from the bar! Double win!

8. Find more free hobbies

There are so many hobbies you can get into that are free! You can start working out, whether it is at home or join a gym that keeps it cheap! Go outside and do things like hike, take a bike ride, or longboard. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or animal shelter. There are so many things you can fill your spare time with that are fun and enjoyable, but don’t break your bank!

Happy saving!

An Open Letter To My Cheating Father

Dad,

Do you remember how old I was the first time I found out? I was 11 years old. The worst part is that I found out because I was the one telling mom. You completely took my childhood innocence away. No middle schooler should have to understand cheating and be able to recognize it. No 6^th grader should have to hear their mom cry at night when she is in bed. No child should have to come to their mom and tell her that they think dad is cheating again.

You could have left. You had plenty of chances to and nobody was stopping you, but instead you would come back and tell her how sorry you were and that you loved her. You weren’t sorry though, and that was not love. You were just afraid you wouldn’t be able to come back if you were gone too long. I could tell nothing had changed. Mom was so blinded by love, she couldn’t help herself, but I knew better.

The worst part is that you were a good dad. You always loved me and my sister and raised us well, but what were you teaching us by being a bad husband? Should I let a man cheat on me and then let him come back? That is what you showed me. You inadvertently taught me that I should let a man treat me in way that isn’t respectful or loving.

I want to forgive you, but I don’t know if I can. I have so much pain and suffering in my heart. For years on end you treated my mom so poorly and it hurt so bad to watch her suffer over and over. How can you do something so awful to the woman who gave you your children? Why couldn’t you just say you didn’t want to be together anymore? I didn’t expect you to stay in a broken relationship, but you didn’t have to end it that way.

I miss having my dad to talk to and ask for help. Instead you have a new family now, a new wife and different daughter. I hope they make you happy. I hope it was all worth it. If anything, one good thing came out of this. I will never let myself be treated less than what I am worth because of you.

6 Questions You Need to Answer Before It Gets Serious

6 Questions to ask yourself before getting serious

I’ve spent a lot of time going on dates and hanging out with the wrong guys. Sometimes we try to force ourselves into a relationship just because we feel alone, only to find out we don’t actually feel like we thought about this person. Before getting into anything too serious, make sure it’s for the right reasons.

This is the list I’ve put together to ask myself, “Are you actually interested in them, or just wasting time????

1. Can you get over their imperfections?

There is no such thing as perfect! No matter who you are with, there are going to be small things that bother you deep down. It’s whether you can look past those things that matter. If they bother you enough that you want to change them, they aren’t right for you.

2. Do you enjoy your time with them?

When you are with him/her, do you have a good time? Or do you find yourself checking the time? When I’m in truly interested in someone, I don’t ever want the time to be over. Yes, you need your time apart, but they should leave you missing them.

3. Do you want to tell people about them?

I’m not talking about MCM or WCW, but telling your family and friends. Do they make you want to tell people about how happy they make you? If you are keeping them secret from everyone around you, there’s probably a bad reason.

4. Can you see a future with them?

Do you see yourself being with them for an extended period of time? Even if it’s not forever, would you be happy spending a chunk of your life with them?

5. Are you still seeing yourself with other people?

Do you meet a new person and wonder if they are single, or want to know about them in a more than friendly way? If you are about to become serious with someone, wanting to get to know other people is a sign you might not be as interested in your current bf/gf as you thought.

And lastly,

6. Do they make you happy?

Yes, there will be arguments in a serious relationship, but for the most part, do they make you happy? Do you find yourself upset often because of him/her, or do you find yourself more cheerful? They should make your day better, not worse.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.