Author: Amanda Martz

They are life of the party. Everyone loves being around them because they’re fun and adventurous. But before you start dating that Extrovert hottie, look out for these not so charming characteristics.

1) Attention Seeker– Extroverts love attention. When I say love, I mean they seriously need it. Yes, they might be fun and outgoing, but when you’re dating one, it can get quite annoying. Do you really want to be with someone who always wants the spotlight on them? Where’s the privacy?

2) Outspoken- Saying what’s on your mind isn’t a terrible thing, but there is a line that can get crossed. Extroverts don’t care where that line is, nor even see one. They say what they want, when they want, and don’t care about anyone’s feelings. If you don’t mind your S.O. saying inappropriate things at Thanksgiving dinner then I guess you can handle it, because telling them to mind what they say just won’t cut it.

3) Get Bored Easily- You might want to be careful getting attached to an extrovert. They get bored, and won’t hesitate to dump you for the next “best thing” they see. They are constantly looking for something better than what they have. So, make sure you keep this relationship exciting, or else you’ll just be yesterday’s news.

4) Assertive- Being confident is great. Being overly confident and a douche bag isn’t. Extroverts think they are the best at everything. They are hotter, smarter, stronger, you name it, they’ll beat it. They aren’t shy about telling you this as well, in fact they’re mostly likely be the ones to just bring it up that they are better than you at something. So, if you want to be in the relationship be ready to be owned.

5) Hate being alone- Extroverts need external stimulation, so when they’re alone they don’t really know what to do. I guess you can sum it up to being needy. They’ll need you there, or around them, all the time. Don’t think you’ll be able to go have that “girls night”, or “guy time”, because that just won’t work. You need to show them constant love and affection.

6) Crazy energetic- You’ll never see an extrovert leave the party early. They are always full of energy and ready to run. Since they love seeking new experiences and adventures you won’t be having any “lazy Sundays” for a while. There are no lazy days or chill time with them, they just can’t sit still long enough.

7) Opinionated- Extroverts hate being wrong, and I mean hate with a passion. They’re opinion is the best opinion, and nothing will make them think otherwise. You won’t be able to debate anything with this S.O. because that just isn’t happening, you’d be there all day trying. The good news is you won’t have to worry about where to eat. The bad part…well it won’t matter if you like it or not.

8) Hollow- Since Extroverts get bored easily, and are always looking for the next best thing, they tend to have more acquaintances that friendships. For your relationship that means that you won’t really get that in depth, passionate closeness that you would in other ones. You really can’t take dating an extrovert too seriously until you can get to the core of the person. Good luck with that, you probably won’t be dating long enough to even try.

Not all extroverts are like this, but these are the warnings about dating one. It’s never a bad idea to try it out, but be prepared for being dump quicker than you’ve ever been before.

If you like this, check out my other related articles below!!

What happens when your friend who lives miles away turns into something more than that?

It’s not a long-distance relationship, but its more than just a friendship. It’s complicated.

Your schedules interfere with each other’s, and texting is the most common form of communication. It can be tricky, but not impossible.

Your little silly conversations turn into in-depth ones. You start being there for each other during stressful times, and encourage one another that “they got this”. You discover the power that words have, and how you both have the strength to overcome all obstacles.

You don’t want to put a label on it, or get too serious yet, but the space between is just far enough that you can’t be certain with what will happen. You know one thing though, that the care you have for one another is more than just a friendly one.

So, what do you do in this long distance, complicated fling?

The answer is still unknown, but you continue to go with the flow because the hope is still there. That smidge of a chance that it will form into something else keeps you both hanging on.

While it may get frustrating, be patient and see what happens. You never know what the future has in store for you, and that person might possibly be in it.

While having a person present is preferred, distance can mean so little when someone means that much to you.

It might not be the best timing, it might not be the best situation, but follow your heart, and keep fighting for what you want. Just because things aren’t the way you want it, does not mean you should give up.

With the school year starting again, and myself starting all over, I couldn’t help but notice all the silly little thoughts I’m having. Whether you’re in college, or starting high school, here are some of thoughts I think we all have in our heads before starting school.

1) I really hope I wake up on time. After having the whole summer (or more) to enjoy sleeping in a little, having to wake up bright an early might be an issue. Especially when you’re not a morning person. Better make sure I have 5 alarms ready.

2) Hopefully I have everything I need. You never really know what you are going to need to start off your semester, so you’re pretty much guessing and hoping for the best. I hope two 3 subject notebooks, a package of pens, and one binder is sufficient enough.

3) Why are these books expensive AF? Seriously though, when buying books, I’m pretty sure every person cringes a little. Even these “used” ones are priced crazy. Am I getting ripped off? Should’ve rented from Amazon.

4) I have no idea what to wear. No matter how old you are, what year of school you are entering, you still have no clue what to wear the first day. I’m all about comfort, but I don’t necessarily want to look like a bum the first day either. I’ll probably just wear my everyday leggings anyways.

5) Hopefully there’s no one super annoying in my class. One thing I have always dreaded in school is having an obnoxious person in my class. No one likes a smart ass, or someone who thinks they are funny but aren’t. Please, just leave you’re annoying habits at home, thank you.

 On the other hand….

6) I hope I can get along with someone in my class. Okay, so I definitely don’t want the annoying person in my class, but I do want at least one person I can get along with. If there’s a class project I need someone I can deal with.

7) I am so working out this year. The college has an awesome gym, with a Pilates class you can go to for free. I am going to work out before classes, and then attend that Pilates group after. That would be nice, if I did that for more than the first week.

8) Am I taking too many classes? I set my schedule up and am taking five classes, I can handle this. Until I see all the books, the class agendas, and start crying inside because of all the work I should do. I’ll just keep telling myself “I got this!”

9) I hope my relationship still lasts. My boyfriend is at this other college, and I’m here, long distance isn’t that bad. I just hope that he doesn’t meet someone else at school, and starts thinking this long-distance stuff might not work.

10) No matter what though, I can do this! I got this, it’s not like I’ve never been to school before. I just did this last year, so I should be able to handle it this year. Even though I’m getting older, and lazier.

At the end of the day, and after thinking of all the stressful, crazy, different scenarios, I remembered that I’m doing this to better my life, and my future. So, these thoughts are just what they are “thoughts”. I got to push them aside, put on my big girl pants, and face the world like a boss. You can do anything you put your mind to, if it doesn’t make you go crazy first.

We live in a time where it seems like every person feels the “need” to have someone in their lives. Maybe it’s not a need, but a want, either way it’s driving me insane. Sure, it’s nice to have someone around, but honestly, I really don’t need it.

Relationships are great, don’t get me wrong. The hugs, the cuddles, the dates, they’re fantastic. However, they’re not necessary to make me a happy person.

If someone out there thinks that I’m going to bend over backwards for them, they better think twice. I would love to have them in my life, but I don’t need them. That might come off as a little harsh, but I’m just speaking truthfully. I have lived a good part of my life feeling that I need to have a relationship all the time, and now it’s time to end that.

If you’re always leaning on someone then how will you figure out who you are? That was me a few months ago, trying to live with someone, and trying to make my life revolve around them.

I wouldn’t go anywhere without asking them if they cared first. I would ask them if they wanted to do something before saying yes to anything my girlfriends asked me to do. I was asking someone else permission to make my decisions.

If this person did anything without me I felt betrayed. How dare they do something without including me. I always included them in everything! They got to do whatever they wanted to without asking me. Then why did I have to ask them everytime?

I didn’t. But for some reason I thought I did.

This went on for years, this on-going thought that I had to do everything with them, and jealousy when they did anything without me. I started losing friends due to my lack of attendance for them. Family was asking me why I was always stuck to his side. I thought this was normal, that I was being a great girlfriend. I was co-depending like crazy.

If you feel like you always want someone in your life, ask yourself why. I had to take a serious look in the mirror, and be brutally honest with myself before I figured out that I don’t need anyone.

I was trapped in this twisted idea that being with someone made you whole, and without that other person you were just half. Half of a person looking for their match, their missing piece. Without it you were nothing. Little did I know, you are all you need to be whole, and don’t need anyone to tell you that.

Happiness is found within yourself. You can create it, or destroy it, all depending on your mood. It’s something that only we have control of. If you think of it, that’s a powerful thing! We don’t need anyone’s approval, only ourselves. We are beautiful enough, smart enough, and worth it just being us.That is something no one will take away from me again.

Recovery in general is already hard enough. Bring in all the rest of life’s stress and it gets even harder. Life is hard in general, not just for people in recovery. However, our brains are wired just a little differently than those won’t aren’t addicts. Add in those stressors and we can go over the edge in a second.

It’s hard when the only way you use to relax was by using. Stressed about work? Use. Getting overwhelmed with school? Use. Every answer to every problem is to use. Take that away and we just aren’t sure how to cope anymore. 

Now I know people will say all of those are “excuses”, and you know what? Well, they kind of are, but after we switched that trigger in our minds that is how we think. It’s as simple as that, a little part of our brain that is screwed up that we have no idea how to fix.

Now, one of the hardest parts of recovery isn’t when you are messing up, it’s when you are doing good. You’ve been sober for a while, and everything is running smoothly, nothing seems to be going wrong. You’re happy, and feel great, but then, something happens.

Seeing another friend, or just someone you know, struggle, relapse, mess up, that sucks. This is almost as bad as you relapsing yourself. Why? Why do you feel that way, you didn’t mess up? The answer is because we feel for that person.

We have been there before. Doing well and then BAM, everything goes to shit. It’s the worst feeling you could ever have, and it can happen at any time. Years, months, days, it doesn’t matter, the demon is always ready to attack. Ready for a sign of weakness from you, and ready to pounce.

When you see your friend, neighbor, meeting acquaintance go back out, it hurts. In this battle you find others, and no matter where you are, race, male or female, there is a bond. Automatically you support each other, even if it is just a simple “you’re doing well”. No one wants to see anyone go through that hell again.

Throughout my ups and downs I have seen many friends fall back into their old ways. Old habits can make or break us. They can kill us if we aren’t careful. When I’ve been up though, seeing others relapse has been one of the hardest things to deal with.

No matter what is happening in your life, even if you feel like you are on top of world, there’s always a chance you can fail. Maybe people will never understand, and that’s okay, you most likely never will.

Just know that if one of us falls, we all feel it. We are a family in some unexplainable way, and relapse really is a bitch.

It’s happened. You’re the black sheep of your friends. While others are getting married, and having families, you’re worried about what to name your next animal-baby.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay, you’ll get there one day.

So maybe it feels like you’re always the third wheel, or you’re always the one attending the weddings not being in them. Your time will come.  

Maybe you are a little black sheepish, but what’s wrong with that? You live for adventure, excitement, not the norm. That’s what makes you special. It’s what makes you unique. 

One day you’ll have the family, the wedding, the moments you are envious of. For now, enjoy the freedom, the lack of responsibility. Enjoy every minute you can, because soon enough this chapter will end, and that new one will open.

Don’t let others make you feel less than just because you’re living differently than they are. They had their time, their chances to be spontaneous, and you are having yours now.

Sure, it would be nice to having what everyone else around you has, but you don’t settle for mediocre. You know that everything happens when it’s supposed to, and your patience game is on point.

Don’t be jealous of what others, because you will get yours, and it’ll be even better after the wait. You know deep down that’s true, it’s just hard when it feels like every other weekend you have something to attend.

You’re a late bloomer, nothing wrong with that. The prettiest flower is the last one to open, and you are beautifully living just as is.

At the end of the night, you’re doing the best you can, giving it all you got, and that’s the most important thing. Everyone has different events happen at different times, so don’t get discouraged, yours will come soon enough.

Until then, keep living on the edge. Keep staying up and sleeping in late, those nights are coming to an end.

You think “I’m not marriage material” or “motherly-like”, but you are. You’re just a girl figuring out her place in the crazy world we live in, and are perfect just the way you are.

As I sat and watched my daughter learn how to ride her bike, I felt nothing but proud. How exciting it was to watch her accomplish something she has wanted for a long time. You know what else I thought? You would never get to feel this way.

Being a single mother you adapt to playing multiple roles. You have to be fun, yet strict, tough, but gentle. Children are suppose to have two adults in their lives, that way they can have the best of both worlds. Two people to help mold them and show them. Our daughter won’t ever get that, but that’s okay, she is perfectly fine with just me.

I don’t feel sorry for her at all, but I do feel sorry for you. You’re the one missing out on all of the achievements she will have, and all of the laughs and fun.

You will never have that feeling of excitement when she comes home with an amazing report card, or has stories to tell from school. She’s growing up faster and faster everyday, soon she won’t even need me as much, a possibly won’t need you at all.

Coming and going is just your nature, and by now her and I are both use to it. Honestly, I don’t even get upset anymore, and neither does she. She’s more mature than you think, and understands what is going on. That’s okay, because I’ll be here to support her every inch of the way.

These are times we will never get back, and I don’t know if you even think about that. Truly I have no idea what goes through your head, but I’m making damn sure I don’t miss any of it. These are memories I will have forever, and you won’t have at all.

I sat there, watching her look so bold and beautiful, not afraid at all of falling. That right there, that was a sight I won’t forget. It was exactly what I want her to be like, not afraid of failing, not giving up.

Unlike you, who has seemed to give up the most important part of your life, she will know that some people just don’t have it in them. I won’t tell her that you are a bad person. I wouldn’t say anything to make her unappreciate you. She will know that you could’ve been more than a once in a while dad. But, she will figure that out with time.

I’m extremely thankful that I get to have these times and make memories with our daughter. Everyday is an adventure with her. Hopefully, you’ll see what you are missing. Maybe you’ll start to want the memories too. Just remember, you won’t ever get the ones you missed back.

Throughout sobriety we have plenty of relationships. Some lasting longer than others, some being better and some being worse. When it comes down to it, it’s really like any other relationship. There are just a few minor tweaks that need to happen to make it work.

Just because we’re recovering doesnt mean that you can’t have fun. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a beer once in a while with the guys, or while watching the football game, but there are times we have put our foot down. We really don’t want you getting wasted every weekend, or drink every night. The reason why we still say we’re in recovery is because it’s a life long process, so anyone who isn’t willing to understand and work with that isn’t worth our time.

Now, I’m not saying you have to completely change your lifestyle for us, that isn’t the case, our recovery is our own not anyone’s else. It’s just easier if you have someone who is willing to have more sober fun, than drinking, using, smoking, whatever other “fun” there is. In recovery we have to remember that the thought is always there in the back of our mind, so being around all of those “iffy” situations could be troublesome to the sobriety we have.

Every relationship has to have trust, honesty, patience and the willingness to forgive, and that doesn’t change while dating an addict. The only difference is that we might need a little more reassurance sometimes. We have made so many mistakes in the past that we might need you to tell us everything is fine. That security is probably one of the most important things we have now, since our lives were so unmanageable before . Please don’t confuse this with being needy, because we most likely don’t need anyone. We have been battling this alone for sometime, and know we are strong. It’s just nice to have that reliability in someone else for once.

You don’t have to walk on eggshells around us though, because we are super understanding when it comes to a lot of different situations. We don’t judge, and we understand forgiveness, which will make fights happen less often. As long as you are up front and honest, there usually won’t be an issue. Unless you break our hearts, which in that case it’ll be over. We don’t mess around with emotions anymore, we have dealt with that enough already.

There is one thing that doesn’t need tweaking, or changed though, and that is the way we love. We love just the same as anyone else, maybe even harder. We understand that mistakes happen, situations happen, and change comes and goes. We are more understanding than other people might be. We are willing to give more than receive, because we thought about ourselves for so long we want to show others how important they are to us now. Being outside of our own minds is good for us. So helping you, being there for you, and supporting you comes with ease. You won’t have to worry about us not showing affection, because you’ll probably get too much if anything.

It might be different dating an addict in recovery. Maybe you’re worried about the chance of relapse, or worried you might do something wrong. But please don’t. We don’t want our relationship to be any different that any other. We might need you to have a little patience with us, and little more support, but dating us will be an experience unlike any other. Not because we have a different situation than most, but because we can love you the most.

So I have this friend, and we’ve been friends for a while now. He’s easy to talk to, funny, cute, everything you would normally like in a guy….and I do.

He doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve liked him for a while now. I don’t know why I haven’t told him this. It could be because we live a couple hours away from each other, and I don’t know how it would work. It could be because I’m afraid if I do tell him and he doesn’t feel the same, it could ruin the friendship.

The only thing I do know, is that I’m scared to. I’m scared to tell him how I really feel. Why? Why do I feel this way?

Seriously, I feel ridiculous saying that. It doesn’t make any sense, I’ve never had this problem before. Normally I can go up to a guy, tell him how I feel, and handle the reaction well, no matter how it went.

So why is it hard this time? It’s so hard!

I’m still trying to figure it out right this minute. The possibilities are endless. I could tell him, he could reciprocate well, and we could live happily ever after. I could tell him, he could not feel the same, but we will continue having our friendship.

Rejection. It is probably one of the worst feelings you can get. What if he rejects me, and then our friendship gets awkward, and then we hardly ever talk? Out off all these possibilities, there are more bad ones than good. That, that right there Is what’s holding me back.

Eventually though, I will have to tell him. I can tell that everyday, every time we talk, every message, I am falling for him more. Soon I won’t be able to hold it in, it’ll slip, I’ll send the wrong emoji or something. Instead of a normal smiley face I’ll send the heart-eyed one and it’ll be over. I’ll confess my feelings and wait for those typing dots to appear.

Either way it goes, no matter how I tell him, I know I have to take the chance. Life is full of chances, risks, a sequence of events that make our day to day life interesting. If I don’t say anything then I will live in the “what if” world forever, and that’s not a very fun place to be at.

So, I will tell him. (Maybe he will read this, and figure it out before I even have to). No matter what happens, I am willing to take the jump, because you never know if you can fly if you don’t try.