Author: Amanda Ramirez

Did you know that six out of ten people wear glasses?

Chances are, a majority of the people you know either wear glasses, own contacts, or actually refuse to do either, but should probably use them anyway.

Six out of ten people wear glasses, which means six out of ten people DEFINITELY understand these daily struggles.

1. People take our glasses all the time, because they want to “see how blind you are.”
2. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
3. Once we put our glasses down, they’re gone forever.
4. Why do we think it’s a good idea to take our glasses off? Ever?
5. Hey, have you seen our- *CRACK* … Never mind.
6. What do you mean we have to take off our glasses to ride the roller coaster?
7. We can’t see in the shower.
8. You think YOU hate dropping the soap? We can’t even SEE the soap.
9. And if it’s dark AND we don’t have our glasses on? Forget it. Down the stairs we go.
10. For those of us that wear contacts: “Ohmygod, I didn’t know you wore glasses!”
11. For those of us that don’t: “Why don’t you try wearing contacts?”
12. In every makeover movie ever, the girl takes off her glasses and you find out that “she was beautiful all along.”
13. Excuse you, we are gorgeous, four-eyes and all.
14. Why do we still get dust in our eyes, WE ARE WEARING PROTECTIVE EYEWEAR. KIND OF.
15. Has the vision in our left eye suddenly gotten worse, or…?
16. Nope, our lenses just popped out.
17. In the winter, when we wear scarves, our glasses fog up.
18. Or it’s raining, and we feel like we’re swimming.
19. Um, excuse us, we need little windshield wipers over here, please.
20. Can somebody please make swim goggles big enough for our glasses?
21. We’d really like to see where we’re going when we swim.
22. Oceans are really big and scary. Especially if you CAN’T SEE ANYTHING.
23. There are glasses shaped tan lines on our faces.
24. No, we do not want to go to a 3D movie.
25. Not unless theaters plan on investing in those 3D clip-on lenses.
26. “Can you read what that sign says?” No.
27. “But you’re wearing glasses?” That just means we can see like normal people.
28. Wearing glasses does not give us android eyes.
29. Though it would be a perk, tbh.
30. People don’t notice how beautiful our eyes can be.
31. BUT, if we mess up our eye makeup, no one can tell!
32. We just want to lay on the couch and watch TV in peace.
33. Impromptu naps at our desks are not a thing.
34. Unless we want to wake up with nose pads in our eyes.
35. (The little plastic thingy that sits on our noses, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CLEAN.)
36. Why won’t this spot come out- thaaat is a scratch.
37. “Stop cleaning your glasses on your shirt, you’ll scratch them.” TOO LATE.
38. Why are prescription sunglasses so expensive?
39. Proceeds to buy sunglasses big enough to fit over our regular glasses.
40. And if we DO have prescription sunglasses: forgetting to swtch back to our regular ones.
41. Oh no, now we’re “that guy.” We didn’t mean to wear them into the supermarket, promise.
42. You will never get us to wear bifocals; they are a sin against spectacles.
43. Proceeds to try and read underneath our glasses without taking them off.
44. Switching glasses with everyone we meet to see whose vision is worse.

During the semester, we never really have a chance to sit down. We’re always running from one event to the other, from one kitchen to the next, from our big’s room to our little’s room, all within the space of a couple of hours.

And we love it. There’s no reason not to love being in high-demand. We’re never bored, we’re never alone (even if we want to be), and we’re never, ever lonely.

Except the semester ends and summer vacation rolls in like a fog and crushes everything that has ever been happy, and isn’t that awful?

When we were children, summer vacation was the Holy Grail, it reigned supreme, and now? We DREAD it.

Here’s what goes through the head of a typical sorority girl over summer vacation:

1. YES. SUMMER. NO MORE HOMEWORK.
2. YES. SUMMER. MY OWN BED.
3. I really hate trying to figure out what to do with my crafts.
4. I should probably put these on my wall?
5. But what’s the point if they’re going to come down in two months…
6. I’ll put them up anyway.
7. MOM, I NEED A COMMAND HOOK FOR MY PADDLE.
8. No dad, we don’t paddle each other, I’ve already told you, that’s illegal.
9. I don’t have enough room for my letters.
10. I wonder what my big is doing…
11. I wonder what my little is doing…
12. There’s a concert halfway between me and my pledge sister…
13. MAYBE SHE’LL GO WITH ME???
14. She doesn’t really have a choice, tbh.
15. My baby cousin is visiting colleges…
16. I should go with her.
17. And wear my letters.
18. I hope they have my organization on their campus.
19. What should I do for Fourth of July?
20. I think one of my sisters lives near a beach.
21. Little, you don’t live that far, come visit me!
22. Big, you live too far, come visit me.
23. I’m going to Michael’s.
24. I need more crafting supplies.
25. How many letters do you think I can make with this much fabric?
26. I should probably just go to Joann’s.
27. I GET A LITTLE/GRANDLITTLE IN THE FALL.
28. I wonder what next semester’s recruitment theme is…
29. I hope she tells us soon, I need to make sure I have something to wear.
30. My little isn’t answering my Snapchats…
31. How many times can I visit my sisters before I end up moving into their homes?
32. Why is there no one here to share food with?
33. If I go to Applebee’s with my parents one more time…
34. Listen, somebody get on a train and come to Applebee’s with me.
35. I’m gonna be in X, Y, Z, on such-and-such a day and you live near there, COME LOVE ME.
36. Why do you all live so far away???
37. Is it August yet?
38. What do you mean it’s only June?
39. Mom, can I borrow money for gas, I’m going to visit my little.

Have you ever been laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and you realize: “Holy shit. There’s nothing to do.”

Science says that this feeling is “an aversive state of wanting, but being unable, to engage in satisfying activity.” We just call it boredom.

But! There is hope! Science also says that being bored actually makes you more proactive!

1. Being bored makes you examine things more closely.

“Wow, I have done absoltuely nothing today, nothing whatsoever, why am I doing this to myself? I can totally be productive. There’s no reason I can’t be, right?”

2. Because of that, you start to take stock of what you can actually do.

You think that you can do anything you want because you are a completely capable individual and you are UNSTOPPABLE.

3. Being bored makes you more prone to taking more risks.

There’s a higher chance of you doing something you’ve always been too scared to do, like asking out that girl you keep seeing at the coffee shop you keep frequenting because you’re so bored. #yolo

4. You start to think of meaningful things to do.

There actually comes a point where you get SO BORED that even doing the fun things don’t satisfy you. So it’s time to try and find something different. Bummer.

5. Being bored is good for society.

Because you started looking for more meaningful things to do instead of just messing around on Facebook for six hours, you’re benefiting society in a way that you probably wouldn’t have before.

Blood Drive? Let’s go. Charity Walk? You’re game. Helping a little old lady paint her house? Sign you up.

6. You become more open to change.

Obviously, what you’re doing now isn’t working to stop the boredom. You suppose you can search for a change in the routine.

7. Being bored teaches you how to relax.

Nowadays, you’re used to constant mental stimulation; at a job, out with friends, in a classroom, in your own home. Because of that, you’re so used to always “having something to do.”

Being bored helps you relearn how to just sit and how to just. Not. For FIVE MINUTES.

8. Boredom makes you more creative.

You’re sick of the way everything is working. Nothing is stimulating you because nothing is cool enough. Being bored makes you think about that.

Being bored makes you fix it.

9. It also makes you more curious.

How does that thing work? When did Facbook become a thing, why are we so obsessed with it? There’s totally a study on that, right?

10. It helps you get more rest.

If your mind is always working, always thinking, then you never get a bit of mental rest. But, if you’re bored – hello, snoozeville.

11. You learn how to work harder.

Being bored is awful, but getting bored of something you need to be doing before you’re even halfway done? Worse.

So you work harder to finish it. You walk away. You come back. You get it done. Boom.

12. It enhances your problem solving abilities.

There is no one more determined to figure out the answer to a problem than the person that is dying of boredom. How do you fix it? Is there anything on this earth that will make you stop feeling this way?

If there is, you’ll find it. And you won’t stop until you do.

There’s a common ideology that all women want to have children.

As women, we are told that we have a natural maternal instinct. When people put it like that, it makes us think that it works like a switch: we see a baby, we coo at the baby and then, all of a sudden, we want one of our own.

But families and babies and women don’t work like that. 

There are women that do not want children. And, no, we’re not using it as a latent desire to rebel against society. In fact, there are plenty of reasons women might not want children.

1. We already find it hard enough to take care of ourselves, and we’re only one person.
2. We like to go out to eat, which isn’t healthy for a child…
3. And we like to go to the movies a lot and don’t want a crying child with us.
4. We didn’t have the best childhoods and don’t feel prepared to offer our child a better one.
5. We don’t feel the want or the need to increase the world’s population.
6. We’re not financially capable of supporting a child.
7. This includes paying for diapers, cribs, baby food, clothing, pediatrics appointments, baby sitters, the list is endless.
8. On a more serious note, we have a fear of passing on incurable, hereditary diseases.
9. Our careers don’t allow us the stability of a consistent life for our child…
10. We’re either always moving or never home, and that wouldn’t be fair to our child.
11. The world is a terrifying place and we don’t want to bring another child into it.
12. We’re not ready to settle down…
13. Or, we have yet to find someone to have a child with.
14. We’re afraid to actually give birth to a child…
15. Because hospitals are terrifying enough as it is without bringing a new life into the world.
16. We prefer our cat or dog because they’re less maintenance and more independent.
17. Which brings us to not wanting to be responsible for another human life.
18. Travel, adventure, and excitement are currently more important to us than supporting a child.
19. Some of us are, unfortunately, simply physically incapable of having children.
20. We just don’t want children, and we don’t need a reason for that.

Women are strong, amazing individuals; particularly those that decide to have children despite all of the reasons listed above. Having children is spectacular, because women that choose to do so are bringing another LIFE into the world.

And, sometimes, we change our minds. Maybe someday, the women that don’t want children will decide that we do.

Maybe one day we’ll decide that we would rather adopt, and bring a less fortunate child into a loving home.

Maybe our best friend will have a child, and we’ll fall in love, and it’ll all just click into place.

Maybe it won’t.

When it comes to representation, us Greeks know all too well the kind of stigma we’re up against.

Along with the mass public media, movies, TV shows, and books have done a great job flushing Greek organizations down the proverbial tube. There’s “Animal House,” “House Bunny,” GR??K, and dozens of others, and each and every one of them either mocks the Greek system or tries to make you believe something that isn’t true.

We’re about to prove you wrong.

1. We party ALL THE TIME.

On the contrary, we party just the right amount. We’re college students.

2. We’re “paying for our friends.”

Our dues pay for formals and transportation and housing costs and t-shirts.

Y’know. All the things you pay for when you’re just living your life.

3. We get paddled, humiliated, and otherwise hazed.

Did you know it’s actually illegal to haze in 44 states AND the District of Columbia?

4. We think we’re superior.

We are not better than you because we’re in Greek life; we are better than the people we were yesterday. *hair flip*

5. Sorority girls are superficial and fake.

Have you actually seen us with our sisters? All we want to do is watch Disney movies and cry over cute animals.

6. Additionally, frat guys only care about sex.

They care about other things, too. Like sports. And BBQs. But mostly sleeping. (You wish we were joking.)

7. We all wear Vineyard Vines, Lilly Pulitzer, and Vera Bradley.

First of all: So what if we do? It’s just clothing.

Second of all: We don’t have a dress code. Wear whatever you want.

Third of all: We buy it if we want it, but ain’t nobody got the kind of money for that.

8. We don’t care about our grades.

Some chapters won’t even consider you if you don’t have a high enough GPA. Greeks don’t mess around with their education.

9. We can’t be friends with people that aren’t in our organization.

We would actually go crazy. It would be like not having friends outside of your family. Greek unity is always encouraged.

Love thy fellow neighbor and all that jazz.

10. We’re all inherently prejudiced.

Organizations have rules set in place for this exact thing. Bigotry or prejudice of any kind is not tolerated under most – IF NOT ALL – constitutions.

11. We must drink to have fun.

More often than not, all of our get-togethers and bonding activities are alcohol free. In fact, they usually involve baking.

12. We don’t care about keeping each other safe.

If we DO go out and party, safety is the first thing we address. There are entire committees dedicated to us getting home safe.

13. We don’t care about the world around us.

In 2013, the Sigma Chi chapter at the University of Utah raised almost $23K for the Huntsman Cancer Institute.

‘Nuff said.

14. We are a hive mind.

Many of us disagree with each other on a near constant basis. We don’t all look the same, or dress the same, or think the same.

Huh. It’s almost as if we’re separate and unique individuals.

15. We only interact with other Greeks.

Actually, Greek chapters often team up with non-Greek affiliated organizations to throw awesome events, both philanthropic and social.

16. We stop caring once we’ve graduated.

This is the furthest thing from true. We care deeply about each and every one of our brothers and sisters.

We get apartments together. We’re in each other’s weddings. We’re the godparents of each other’s children.

We say it all the time: not four years, but for life.

When we turn 21 and we get carded, it is hands down the best day of our lives, because everyone wants to get carded on their 21^st birthday – that’s sort of the point.

And it’s always nice to be told that we’re cute. It’s an ego-boost we didn’t necessarily need, something to catalogue and go back to later for a rainy day.

But there comes a time where we – the owners of the adorable but admittedly wretched baby face – really, really, really wish we looked like little old ladies.

1. “Are you old enough to work here?”

Yes, we are old enough to work here. Or else we wouldn’t be working here. Because it would be against the law.

2. Apparently, we’re not allowed to talk about sex…

Because ANYTHING fun is off-limits. Totally.

3. We’re actually not even allowed to curse for that matter…

People act as if Satan just crawled out of our mouths.

All we said was shit, we didn’t twist our heads around and summon the anti-Christ.

4. So many men won’t talk to us because they think we’re too young…

And it’s just like. Come on. We just want to talk to someone vaguely attractive and our own age.

But no. You all think we’re 15.

5. Alternately, some men talk to us BECAUSE they think we’re young…

In which case, ABORT MISSION. I am actually 15, somebody call the cops.

6. That horrifying moment when someone thinks we’re our S/O’s younger sibling…

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. TAKE THAT BACK, RIGHT NOW.

7. When we get angry, apparently it’s funny…

This could be the most pissed off we have ever been and, still, someone will look at us and say –

“You’re just so cute when you’re angry.”

8. We go out and the first thing people say is, “Oh you’re so adorable”…

We’re not trying to be adorable. We’re trying to be sexy.

Get your adjectives straight.

9. Literally, no one takes you seriously…

They see our bright eyes and chubby cheeks and rounded chins and think, “Yes, I am going to insult the intelligence of this human being today by treating them like a nine-year-old.”

10. Being asked if our parents are home…

Imagine this: Someone comes to your door. You answer the door. This occurs.

Yes, our parents are home. At their home. Where they live.

Because they do not live here. Because this is our apartment. That we live in. Alone.

11. We will be carded for the rest of our lives…

22? Carded. 38? Carded. 42? Carded.

We’ll only ever stop getting carded when we start going gray, and even THAT’S not 100% guaranteed.

12. And… being carded at R- rated movies…

Oh, come on. You don’t even believe that we’re 17?

13. Even when we do show our ID, they think it’s fake…

“Do you have a second form of ID?”

Yea, sure, here you go.

“… Are you sure this is you?”

FOR THE LOVE OF –

14. EVERYONE always telling us that we’ll appreciate it when we’re older…

But, see, the problem with that statement is that, according to most people, we won’t be getting any older!

We’re just destined to look like little baby cherubs for the rest of eternity.

In high school, you were always at the top of the food chain.

You had all AP or IB courses, and you were probably that student that took credits at the local community college.

You were the one that turned everything in on time and always got good grades and, sometimes, it didn’t even feel like you were trying that hard at all.

You have been an honors kid all your life. Since you were small, you were told that you were above average, that you were good at what you did, that you were special.

You were the icing on top of a deliciously intelligent cupcake. You used to be the one that destroyed the grading curve because you aced that calculus test with your eyes closed. Almost literally.

And now, you’re finally a college freshman, and you’re struggling to get by.

So you’re freaking out. Of course you’re freaking out.

To all the high school honors students that have suddenly found themselves too terrified of their own shortcomings to even go to class – it’s all going to be okay.

1. Remember that college is a completely different ballgame.

You’re used to softball, but college is baseball, and it hits hard.

Everyone around you, all of the people that you are in class with, they are there to learn, just like you are. All of them are here for the same reason – because they were good enough.

You’re used to softball, and softball has different rules. Take your time. Learn them. Stay in the bullpen as long as you need to.

2. Your professors are there to help you.

As ridiculously cliché and corny as that sounds, it’s true. Your professors are getting paid to teach you something, and you are paying that university – and, in turn, that professor – to learn.

But just because it sounds like a vicious cycle of, “well, they’re going to get paid regardless,” does not mean that your professor doesn’t want you to succeed; they do. Talk to them. Trust them.

They’re not the big scary monster under your bed that you only think about in your nightmares. You left that guy at home.

3. Stop comparing yourself to the guy sitting next to you that always gets an A.

Chances are, they worked their butt off for that A. Or that person could secretly be a member of Mensa. 

But it doesn’t matter who they sold their soul to for that A, you are not them and they are not you and the most important person in this equation is yourself. So you got a C+ this time.

Go make it an A.

4. Mental health days are a thing and they are your friend.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or you have a paper due today that you completely forgot about and now you’re sitting on the floor of your nasty co-ed bathroom hyperventilating into your backpack – stop.

Breathe.

Get up, go back to your room, and crawl back into bed. Ask your roommate for some ice cream.

Your physical and mental health are more important than any test grade. Take a day off. Come back to it later.

It’ll be okay.

Joining Greek life as an undergraduate is probably one of the best things you’ll ever do. 

On the night of your very last meeting, there are a lot of heartfelt words; there are tears and there are laughs and there are hugs and presents and smiles. But, most of all, there was love, and that’s what made it all worthwhile.

Still, as a postgraduate Greek, there are some things that you’ll be struggling to come to terms with and it’s actually the worst. Literally. 

1. You’ve been kicked out of the super secret Facebook group.

You know the one. That super secret Facebook group. Where all of the super secret stuff gets discussed. The super secret stuff that you’re not allowed to know about anymore. Because you’re inactive. 

Because you graduated.

2. Active sisters keep mentioning things that you were not there for.

“Ohmygod, don’t you remember when Lindsey-” 

No. 

“Well, how about that time in chapter last month-”

No. 

“You’ve met Cara, right, she’s-”

NO.

3. You literally don’t know half of the girls in that chapter photo.

Okay, so what’s her name? Who’s her big? What’s her major? Where does she fit into our family tree? She got what position? She’s only a freshman? 

She looks like she could be your child. What. Why. You feel so old. 

4. Everyone in your office thinks Greek life is a joke.

“Did you read that article about those frat guys that lit a couch on fire?”

“Ohmygod, I can’t believe people like that exist, Greek life is so stupid.”

Um. Maybe you’ll just. Casually slip out. Maybe go sit in the bathroom. Maybe hop on a plane back to school. Kay. Bye. 

5. Or, alternatively: Everyone in your office is an active Greek.

“What organization are you in? What school do you go to? Oh, do you think you know my friend, she goes to your school, just started this year. I think she joined a different organization?”

Please. Do not. You’re inactive. Please stop. You don’t want to talk about it.

You don’t know their friend. You’ve been out of school too long.

You don’t even know your new initiates.

6. What are you supposed to do with all of those shirts?

You have so many t-shirts. Recruitment shirts. Bid Day shirts. Formal shirts. You have so many letters. What are you supposed to do with all of those letters?

“Well, why don’t you just hand them down-”

Why don’t you just hand down your brain, you’re obviously not using it. 

7. What do you mean you can’t wear your letters to the office?

You know all about business casual. Business casual was a staple in your chapter. Every chapter meeting was business casual. You own SO MANY business casual type clothes.

And yet.

You just want to wear your letters. They’re comfy.

Look, you even have letters that match that really nice pencil skirt hanging in your closet. That counts, right?

Right?

8. You don’t want to be “that alum”.

The Alumni Liaison posts something in the group for inactives and there you go, commenting on it.

Liking every single comment and picture and trying to friend all of the new members, five semesters removed.

Commenting on a picture of your best friend’s great grandlittle, “Don’t you girls look great! I remember when Julie and I blah blah blah blah…”

9. You have become an urban legend.

New girls have no idea who you are. Your little has graduated, your grandlittle has graduated, you have been inactive for years.

You’re that story that your great grandlittle tells her grandlittle in the middle of a social over cupcakes.

“Ohhh, yea, your great, great, great grandbig, she did this thing once, I don’t remember what it was, I just know that it was REALLY FUNNY apparently and she might’ve gotten in trouble but, who knows? I don’t know.” 

You are bigfoot. Did you ever exist? Who knows.