Amanda D Houli, Author at Pucker Mob

24 Times You’re Anything but Chill

1. Someone eats your leftovers…and you’ve been thinking about that food all day.

2. Someone asks you to go out and you have to come up with an elaborate excuse of why you can’t because you’d rather lie than admit you’re antisocial for the umpteenth time.

3. Someone gives you an elaborate excuse why they can’t go out…enjoy your Netflix and bed.

4. You open a bag of chips and there are legit 3 chips in the bag…there’s no greater betrayal than a large bag filled with air.

5. Someone ruins a show for you via a Facebook status. If there were a Facebook etiquette book, then this would be rule number uno, followed by the ban of straight up cleavage pics claiming to be selfies.

6. When your ex has a new girlfriend…it’s only been like a year since the break up…

7. And, when they look happy…like happy enough that you start to question why he’s closer to marriage and you're closer to finishing an entire oreo row…

8. And then, you accidentally like her insta from 13 weeks ago. You instantly go from ex-girlfriend to crazy lurker…

9. When you finish your current show on Netflix..you knew this day would come, but not this fast. You don’t even know how you got here. There were like 12 seasons??

10. And then, you can’t decide what to watch next…even though you’ve got a full mental list and a handful of recommendations from friends.

11. When your mom doesn't answer her cell phone… like why else would she need a cellphone if not to answer me?

12. Then your mom finally does answer your question…but only with "K"…

13. When your crush likes your latest Instagram picture…should I send out save the dates now or…

14. When you're having an awful hair day…dry shampoo doesn’t work nor does my slicked back greasy ass ponytail..

15. Someone tells you that you're in a bad mood and need to relax… wow that really turned my frown upside down. THANKS for that.

16. When your best friend isn't answering your texts…is she really going to make me send 8237427 texts till she answers?

17. You forget one of your 30973 login email and/or passwords…is it capitalized? what number did I use? *Gives up and hits forgot password*

18. When you're so tired all day…then you finally get into bed, and you wide awake.

19. When you lose your phone in your sheets…now you gotta get out of bed and wait till you hear a loud thud and fear a possible screen crack

20. Everyone says they can’t even see your pimple…K then you must be blind cause it’s the size of Mars and might possibly have a life of it’s own.

21. Everyone and their mother have perfected the beach wave curls and their eyebrows are on fleek…but you just trying to get the bumps out of your ponytail.

22. When you're in a rush and you get stuck behind the slowest driver…there’s a slow lane for a reason. MOVE B*TCH, GET OUT THE WAY.

23. When your make-up looks good for only about .05 seconds after applying it…and then, you spend the rest of the day with raccoon eyes

24. When your ex snapchats you…no I don’t care to see your face, but the curiosity is going to slowly kill me for the next 30 minutes.

12 Things You Should Know Before Dating a 90’s Girl

We meet somewhere…a bar, a friend’s house, online. You think we’re cute, and you ask us out. Should be pretty easy, right?

Well, guess what? We’re 90’s girls, and before you decide to get invovled, there are a few things we think you should know:

1. You’ll never be my number one guy, that’s for JT

2. But I will try to make us wear matching outfits like Britney and Justin

3. Don’t be concerned if I have a shrine of you in my closet

4. I’ll trust your judgment, just not as much as I trust my Magic 8 Ball

5. My cooking experience doesn’t go beyond my Easy Bake Oven desserts

6. Don’t expect much from me for our lunch date

7. Tattooing each other’s name will include milky pens

8. When we have “the talk” about our future, I will go to M.A.S.H for help

9. If you want to impress me, tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center

10. The perfect ring for me will be able to tell me my mood

11. I’ll probably give you a mixed CD for every major occasion

12. My ultimate relationship goal is to be like Corey and Topanga

31 Promises You Only Make with Your Best Friend

There's nothing better than a best friend – someone we can count on no matter what. And so there are things we promise our best friends that we wouldn't promise to anyone else:

To not judge you when you ugly cry.
To pick you up from your one night stand.
And not judge you for whom your one night stand was.
To pretend to accept your TMI apology even though we both know that’s not possible.
Not to judge you for binge watching One Tree Hill again.
Not to talk during your favorite show.
To help you eat everything in sight, especially at 2 a.m.
To encourage you to take one more shot.
And then take care of you at the end of the night.
To never bring up your drunken mistakes unless you bring them up first.
To delete every unflattering picture of you.
Or crop you out of it if it’s a good one of me.
To like every one of your Instagram posts even seconds after posting it.
Not to judge you when you decide to skip the shower for the second day.
To sing just as loudly as you while driving in the car.
To be just as emotionally invested in your love life.
Never to ask you to pay me back (I probably owe you money, anyway).
To send you pointless texts about random thoughts and food cravings.
And continue to text you even though you haven’t answered.
To stay updated on your family drama.
Not to judge you for your Google history.
Or your top friends on Snapchat…unless I’m not one of them.
To share my Netflix, HBO and Showtime passwords with you.
To read every convo screen shot you send me.
To give you relationship advice even though we both know you just wanted to vent.
To send you every video or article link I liked.
To wait patiently for you to answer me because you’re not good at multitasking.
To be fully committed to getting in shape…until the weekend comes and we’re over it.
To judge your ex’s new girlfriend more than you do.
To always have a "what’s mine is yours" policy about everything from food to clothes.
To wait in the bathroom line with you when we go out…no matter how long or gross the bathroom is.

26 Signs You Loved AIM as a Kid

Before Texting and Facebook there was AIM and every kid who had a screen name remembers just how great it was.

Check out the list to see if you were one of those kids.

Talking to Smarterchild and other aim robots
Saying inappropriate things to them to try and get them mad
Spending too much time on your away message
Your most creative ones had song lyrics in it
And after awhile you had a long list of saved away messages to choose from
Using only acronyms to talk
But being selective to who you said LYLAS to
Using chat rooms
Changing the order of your friend’s initials in your profile
Picking a buddy icon from Iconator
Picking the right color and font
Your aim profile was truly your finest work
Especially if you copy and pasted quotes like this one:
Also using your profile to explain your relationship status
Sometimes that included doing this to your crushes name – ****
Categorizing your buddy list, only a select few made your best friends group
Your screen name had at least one of these: x, <3, xO, or a number
You’ve definitely hit the block button…more than once
Hearing the door open or shut instantly made you look to your buddy list
And every time you hoped that it was the person you liked signing on
Frequently changing the AIM notification sounds, the cow mooing was a classic
Going through your chat boxes to see which one was blinking
Comparing how many buddies you had to your friend’s buddy list
Knowing the yellow notepad next to someone’s screen name meant they were Away
Occasionally going invisible so you can just talk to your best friend
Frequently yelling to find out who picked up the phone and knocked you offline

The Clock is Ticking: 35 Things Every Second Semester Senior Needs to Do

College has been the best time of your life. Unfortunately, though, that time is nearing it’s end. But it’s not over yet! Here are some bucket list goals to make the last few months the best part of it all:

Go out without looking at your phone
Stock up on school apparel
Pull an all nighter…but with drinks and friends
Start a kickball tournament…but with drinks and friends
Skip classes and watch Netflix all day
Take only 10 minutes picking out an outfit and getting ready to go out
Take an impromptu road trip to a nearby city for the day
Take lots of photos even on a random night in
Hook up with your ex one last time, for good measure
But then hook up with someone you would never date
Skinny dip in the school’s pool
Do a walk of shame with your best friend
Apply to your dream job
Go on an actual date
Plan a trip for the following year with your friends
Use disposable cameras
Go to local events like festivals and concerts
Organize a bar crawl of every bar you used to go to
Have a night with no morals
But then do volunteer work the next day…to balance it out
Start yoga and get flexible
Return your library books and pay off that late fee from freshman year
Go to both a trivia and karaoke night
Make a lifelong bucket list to only do with your college friends
Buy a bathing suit for spring break, in advance, in a smaller size
Make a playlist that sums up the last four years…don’t forget “Call Me Maybe”
Watch the sunrise from somewhere on campus
Visit a friend at a completely different school, just to reaffirm your love for your school
Go to a school sport’s event
Tailgate it if you can
Spend the majority of your free time with your friends, even if your doing nothing
Go on an outdoor adventure – camping, hiking, white water rafting,
Go on a vineyard tour with at least one hour of wine tasting
Have a weekly sit down dinner with your roomies
In addition to your parents, call other family members more often

Any others that you think we should include? Add them to the comments area below, and then share this article!

Are You a True Carnivore? 10 Amazing Burgers You'll Never Be Able to Pass Up

For those who think their love of burgers couldn’t grow anymore. Here are just a few burgers to have you falling in love all over again:

Cronut Burger

Because mixing a donut and croissant isn’t enough. Find out where to try this here.

Waffle Fry Slider Burger

You’ll never have to put down your burger for a fry. Find out how to make it here

Mac & Cheese Bun Burger

When you’re truly craving an American Burger. Get the recipe here

Nutella Burger

Does nutella really ever taste bad on anything? Find out how to make it here

Aussie burger with the lot

Breakfast for dinner? Get the recipe here

Monte Cristo Burger

Or dinner for breakfast? Try this French toast bun burger here.

The Idiot Burger

Only an idiot would pass up on this burger topped with an onion ring and braised short rib meat. Find out where you can eat this here.

One-Pound Stuffed Burger

Cause ain’t nobody got time for sides. Find out where you can try this here

Thanksgiving Dinner Burger

How could you not be thankful for this creation? Find out where you can get this here.

All-American Classic

Because nothing beats a classic!

Because Life Can Be ‘Ruff’: Why Every Kid Needs a Dog

Growing up with pets, especially dogs, is a precious experience. They are great companions, they are always happy to see you and love you unconditionally.

Here are 16 reasons every kid should grow up with a dog.

1. Naptime is a lot less torturous

2. They are better than any baby wipe

3. Crawling leads to rugburn and no one’s got time for that

4. Because every princess needs a fairy godmother

5. They listen to your secrets

6. And never break the cone of silence

7. They are always there to lift you up

8. Or when you just need a hug

9. Never have to fight over what to watch

10. You’ll never go hungry

11. They can communicate with just a look

12. They’ll be your partner in crime

13. And do the time

14. They’ll help you reach your goals

15. Or at least the table

16. But no matter what they’ll always be your best friend

Remember these reasons in detail —

Unconditional love: Dogs provide unconditional love and acceptance, which can boost a child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Companionship: Dogs can be a constant source of companionship, especially for children who may feel lonely or isolated.
Responsibility: Caring for a dog teaches children responsibility, such as feeding, walking, and cleaning up after them.
Empathy: By caring for a dog, children learn empathy and compassion for living creatures.
Exercise: Dogs need regular walks and playtime, which can encourage children to get more exercise and spend more time outdoors.
Security: Dogs can provide a sense of security for children, especially if they are home alone.
Socialization: Dogs can help children learn how to socialize and interact with others, both human and animal.
Confidence: Playing with and caring for a dog can boost a child’s confidence and self-esteem.
Active Lifestyle: Dogs require walks and playtime, which can help children develop healthy habits and stay active.
Stress Relief: Studies have shown that interacting with dogs can lower blood pressure and heart rate, and reduce stress levels in both children and adults.
Sense of Calm: The presence of a dog can provide a sense of calm and relaxation for children.
Teach Boundaries: Dogs can help teach children about boundaries and respectful behavior.
Teach Routines: Caring for a dog helps children learn about routines and schedules.
Teach About Loss: When a pet dies, it can be a difficult but teachable moment for children about loss and grief.
Less Allergies: Studies have shown that children who grow up with dogs are less likely to develop allergies.
Fun: Most importantly, dogs are just plain fun to be around! They can provide endless hours of entertainment and companionship for children.

25 Inexplicable Things That Prove the World's a Wacky Place

The world is a pretty crazy place – you can drive yourself nuts tryng to make sense of it all. Just look around you at any given time, and you’ll be able to come up with a long list of things seem a little out of whack, like…

Jeans not fitting BOTH your waist and legs
How hair looks better after a nap
Successfully remembering to take your make up off after a night out
George Clooney getting married
Prickly legs even though you just shaved, like just walked out of shower
Why your friend wants to tell you every detail about her boyfriend. Every second of the day.
Teletubbies
Kim Kardashian’s Game and how it has made millions
Spending several hours watching Youtube
How Lululemon pants are supposed to be comfy
Why you can’t just magically make food appear in front of you
What happened to the people on the other end of 411 calls
Why toys are so securely packaged
Wheatgrass shots
Why pebble poops pop the most brain cells
How people can actually nail Pinterest DIYs
Why shows aren’t forced to have reunions, most specifically, F•R•I•E•N•D•S
Getting the most texts when trying to take a nap
Why pants are more encouraged than naps are
Why colleges make you take core classes
2 Girls 1 Cup
Why Oprah still does interviews even though she retired
Why Chipotle lines are always so long, and why there’s no V.I.P line
How people actually lose weight
When you’re convinced you have a fever but the thermometer doesn’t even reach 98 degrees

As long as you’re in a list reading mood, check out the 51 Most Awkward Moments Every College Girl Suffers Through

30 Basic Things Every College Girl Does

Your 20’s are when you truly become your own person. But there are some things that no matter who you are, you just can’t help doing:

Cringing when you have to check your bank statement, especially after a night out
Going crazy when music from your childhood comes on at a party
Hitting ‘Next Episode’ on Netflix, at 2 a.m, when you said you’d watch just one episode
Promising that you’ll have a productive day tomorrow…you even make an hourly schedule
And you set your alarm to get up early…but then hit snooze at least three times
Starting your diet tomorrow
Making pacts with your roomies not to order drunk food anymore…and then breaking it that same night
Immediately going to Facebook when someone doesn’t know who you are talking about
Creeping on someone’s Facebook that you know of, but have never met
Laughing at old emails, text, and Facebook messages even when you were completely serious at the time
Following a fitness, nutrition or model’s Instagram as motivation
Reading endless articles about relationships even though you’re not in one
Wearing gym clothes instead of real clothes, even though the gym is not on your agenda today
Spending more time telling your friends how much work you have than you do doing the work
Going on Youtube for one video and then realizing you’ve been watching videos for an hour
Eating healthy the entire day and then midnight binging
Drunk snapchatting
Complaining about how dead your hair is and then missing it the second you cut it
Finding nothing to wear in your closet filled with clothes
Having way too high of standards for every college break…hence the over packing
Promising that you’re so done with your relationship, even though you and everyone AND their mother know this is the umph-teenth time you’ve said this
Laughing at the same episode of Friends for the 100th time
Always losing a friend at the bar no matter how hard you try not to, which leads to group chats of where everyone is and to come and find them
Questioning why anyone would make that a Snapchat story
Getting addicted to a show and losing sight of all other priorities
Waking up at the crack of dawn, after a night out, and gasping for water
Thinking you can do homework from your bed but then just taking your daily nap
Checking with your friends how an email to a professor or a text to your ex sounds
Bringing basically your entire closet to school but wearing less than half of your things
Creating a strong dependency on coffee

Please share of any of these sound familiar!

Everyday Situations: Expectation Vs Reality

Life and how we live it is never quite as good in reality as it is in our imagination.

In our minds, we can see ourselves galloping through the streets on a magnificent stallion, while in reality, we’re just chugging along in a broken down Mustang.

The Power of Imagination: Our minds are incredible at crafting perfect scenarios. We can conquer fears, achieve amazing feats, and live out our wildest dreams – all without leaving the comfort of our minds.
Reality’s Limits: Unfortunately, the real world has limitations. Horses might be replaced by cars (even if they’re broken down Mustangs!), and conquering fears often involves real effort.
The Bridge Between: Here’s the good news: Imagination doesn’t have to be a foe. It can be a powerful tool!
- Goal Setting: Use your imagination to visualize your ideal life – what does success look like for you? Then,bridge the gap by setting realistic goals that move you closer to that vision.
- Fueling Creativity: Imagine yourself solving problems, creating art, or performing well. When you imagine success, you can prime your brain for actual achievement.
Finding Joy in the Journey: Sometimes, the “broken down Mustang” can be an unexpected adventure. Focus on appreciating the present moment, even if it’s not exactly what you envisioned.