I'm not going to tell you that tomorrow you're going to feel better. I'm not going to tell you he sucks and that there isn't a reason to cry over him. I'm going to tell you the opposite, that it's okay to cry, to be upset and be ridiculous because you're only human and if that's what you're feeling then let it out.
There are a few things though that you may not want to recognize right now but one day soon they're going to make sense.
You will eventually get over him. Maybe not today, or this week or this month but the pain will slowly start to ease away. There are going to be times that are easier than others, you may not even think about him for a few hours or a few days but then there are going to be other days.
There will be days where you wake up thinking about him, wanting to reach for your phone to text him good morning like you used to, where you'll see things or think about things and it'd be something you'd usually talk about but you realize you don't talk anymore.
A song will come on the radio and you'll want to break down, and that's okay. But eventually those days will become fewer and fewer. Every little song won't cause you to start thinking about him, and eventually you'll realize that even though you love him you won't want to be with him.
If he cared, he'd show it. I know it sounds like a no brainer and it's one of the things that you push to the back of your mind. Your friends keep telling you this and you make excuses for him. However if he really cared about you he'd tell you. You have no problem telling him how you feel about him yet he says nothing in response, or if he does it isn't anything you deserve to hear.
You are more than just a drunk text or a call when he's lonely. You see his name on your phone and your heart starts racing and you may even get a little shaky.
"It's another 2AM call me up drunk again Cellphone lyin' on the nightstand turns into a buzz in my right hand"
He's been drinking and he's going home alone, and he may have something that reminds him of you and he may realize for a few hours that he's missing you, but you know what the next days going to be like. You're going to give in tonight, you're going to tell yourself you won't but then you start thinking about kissing him and getting to snuggle up close to him one more time.
Then the morning comes and he sobers up, and decides that anything he told you the night before isn't true, and that you can't keep doing this and you go your separate ways again. Except it isn't the last time, it could be a week or a month and it happens again.
You are so much more than a one night stand, and deserve a guy who is going to tell you how he feels when he's drunk and sober.
You deserve so much better. I know you don't think it right now, and you don't want to admit that he isn't as great as you think he is but it's true because you don't hurt the people that you care about. The things he said and did when you were together are the memories you hold onto, and it's who he was.
He isn't that same guy right now and once you separate the two you'll realize you don't really like the guy he is right now because he doesn't make you smile. You deserve someone who's going to appreciate all you do for them, that adores you and doesn't take you for granted.
A guy who is proud to have you as his own, and does what he can to make sure there's a smile on your face and never a frown and heaven forbid there ever be tears on your face unless their tears of joy. You deserve the moon and the stars, and you shouldn't have to ask for them.
You deserve respect, answers to your questions and genuine responses, not just silence or ignorance because the things you say don't mesh with what he was thinking.
He will miss you one day, and he will regret taking your love for granted. However by this time you'll have moved on and you won't miss him. You'll have put away the photos, put that t-shirt that you loved sleeping in somewhere where you don't reach for it and you'll delete the text conversation from your phone.
He'll text you out the blue one day, or run into you out and about and you'll be calm and collected. Your heart won't race and you'll feel sorry for him. Sorry that it took him so long to realize that he had a wonderful girl in front of him, willing to stand through his stubbornness and that would have given him the sun had he asked.
When you give up on him, he'll come to realize that it was one of the hardest things for you to do because when you fall, you fall hard and you invest your heart in it and the heart can sometimes be your worst enemy. And you'll walk away, with your head held high and a smile on your face.
You'll go through stages of wanting to strangle him, wanting to call him and tell him he's being irrational, days where you want to kiss him till he gets it in his head that he made a mistake, days you want to scream at him and days where you want to be alone.
One day you'll wake up and decide he's not worth the tears anymore.
But today is probably not that day.
You're hurting, and if you managed to get out of bed, go to work and make it to the store, eat something and drink something other than wine, then that's a step. Don't apologize for feeling. Never apologize for feeling, don't apologize for being soft.
There are too many people in today's world that are afraid to let themselves feel anything. Love can hurt, and you're feeling it right now but you're strong, intelligent, beautiful and in the end you'll be okay.
Just be patient with yourself, like I said you're only human, and you're putting yourself back together.