There's nothing worse than being the nice girl who never gets any credit for anything she does for others. You're going out of your way for everyone else so much that it just becomes expected of you, and no one seems to feel the need to thank you anymore.
If you're the nice girl who never gets any credit, it's time to put your foot down and stop letting everyone walk all over you. Sure, help others when you genuinely want to, but stop feeling the pressure to be this perfect, giving girl all the time.
It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. In fact, if you want to get anywhere in life, you need to be a little selfish every now and then. If you're not, people are just going to keep on taking advantage of you.
1. Guys just see the word "doormat" written across your forehead.
I admit I have a terrible dating record. I always go for the bad boys & jerks. Why? I see the good in them. I'm forgiving, and I try my best to understand everyone around me. After all, I would want someone to do the same for me.
But what do they see? A pushover who will "let it slide" that they canceled for the third time this month. A girl who never complains that he puts 'the guys' first way too often and never says anything when she has to cover his half of the bill for dinner because he refuses to manage money.
Sure, there are plenty of guys who appreciate us nice girls for everything amazing we are. But unfortunately, there are even more guys who are just straight up assholes and see an opportunity to get away with anything and everything while feeling clever about it.
I know my worth now, and I know that guys will only change if they want to. If I can tell you're going to be an ass…I'll let someone else deal with you. Boy, bye.
2. Going out of your way at work is only gonna create more work for yourself.
I'm sure you love your job, and you work hard at it. But offering to stay late and help coworkers on projects all the time is killing your chances of moving up the ladder. The longer you stay at work, the more your boss gets used to you staying later. And later. And later.
I got to the point where I was canceling plans with friends and shortening my vacations, and for what? My boss was impressed I was taking on work with such an amazing attitude, but they were only ever going to be that impressed by it.
The report my coworker "didn't understand" and needed help with? They just flew the coop when I took it out of their hands. They were just lazy and knew I would put in the work for them. And then they were rewarded for my work and didn't even give me any credit.
So learn from my experiences and don't be afraid to say "no." Your boss will respect you more for expressing your needs, as long as you do it respectfully. They might even recognize the fact that you're overworked. Mine did!
You have to live life for you, not for ultimately lining someone else's pockets with money that you'll only ever see a minuscule fraction of. At the end of your life, you'll look back on all the amazing memories you've created with the ones you love, not the time spent at work and the promotions you got.
3. You're totally gonna go broke if you don't stop being nice and spotting everyone cash.
I like to have a good time and I want my friends to have a good time too…don't we all? So when there's something fun to do, like going on a trip we dreamed about, I was always willing to plan it.
I'm good with numbers and am great at finding hot deals, so I always got put in charge of managing the expenses. Bummer, right? No one wants that job. But I knew that if I didn't plan it, the trip would never happen. When it came time to split payment, there was always someone who didn't have enough or "would get me next time" and never did.
Those drinks at the bar you pay for your friends cause the line is so long and they offer to buy the next round but they never do? It adds up. I finally called out the biggest culprit of the group in a gentle way and when it was time to pay up, I told her to consider it a payment for all the times she shorted me.
Did I feel bad? Yes. But she got the point. And she apologized. It didn't break our friendship. What would've broken our friendship was my friends allowing me to go broke at their expense.
So now I'll buy my own damn drink and that's it. It's not my fault anyone else can't catch the eye of the bartender faster than me.
4. Eventually, taking better care of others than you do of yourself is going to break you down.
We all want everyone to like us. I wanted to be that person everyone wanted to be around. I wanted to be the one they come to for advice, wine nights, and a shoulder to lean on. I wanted to be the girl who had everything to offer, but it got too exhausting, too quickly.
I realized that if I wasn't there for my bestie for a wild night on the town or when her boyfriend dumped her (again) our lifelong friendship meant nothing. You're always there for everyone, but the moment you have boy problems and need advice? You're dismissed and the attention is back on them because they know you're going to listen.
I'll take Netflix and wine by myself, please. Cause that's who I am and I'm proud of it.
You shouldn't ever forget that you deserve to just as happy as everyone else. Your friends and family will succeed, don't let your light shine just to help them navigate this thing called life.
You're not the North Star and you don't need to be.
