Author: Briella Rose

If you can find a girl that loves sports and understands them, you’re golden. But in order to stick around, you’re going to have to know the following things:

1. You don’t need to remind her when it’s game day.

She’s got every sports app on her phone to do that for her.

2. There’s no sport she won’t watch.

Curling? Tennis? Competitive eating? Toe wrestling? (Yes… that’s a thing) If she can cheer for it, she’ll watch it. 

3. She has more sports attire than you do. 

And her sports attire is a thousand times cuter than yours, too.

4. If you’re not a fan of her team, she’s not a fan of you. At least not on game day.

You might want to consider converting to her team otherwise things are gonna get chippy.

5. Don’t talk down to her like she just learned what a ‘zamboni’ is.

She’s been watching hockey her whole life – straight out of the womb. 

6. Stop explaining the rules to her. She knows them.

Maybe she’ll teach you a thing or two instead.

7. Don’t challenge her sports knowledge. You won’t win. 

If you’re thinking that maybe you could win just take this one piece of advice: don’t try. Especially if you want this girl to stick around.

8. If the game’s on… Don’t distract her.

You’re gonna have to wait for halftime or between periods to text her because all eyes are on the game. Get used to it.

So enjoy watching sports together but you’ve been warned – she might get more intense than your boys.

My reign at the kids’ table has lasted 23 years. I’ve been asking when I could move on up to the adult table since I could talk. But my streak of holidays spent at the kids’ table is still going strong.

Here are the thoughts I’ll be having at the kids’ table this year…

1. Why can’t I upgrade by now?

2. They promised me at 18 I could move up. Those liars.

3. At least my sister’s stuck here too. 

4. Is alcohol allowed at the kids’ table? Cause I heard about this Thanksgiving Dinner drinking game…

5. If I had a kid would we both be sitting at the kids’ table…?

6. I’m pretty much a babysitter at this point.

7. Why aren’t I charging for this?

8. When I have kids, I won’t make them sit at this dreaded table.

9. The adults table sounds lame and boring anyway. 

10. At least here I get the gravy to myself.

11. Eventually we’re all gonna be adults sitting at a kids’ table. 

12. It’ll just become the younger and more hip adult table.

13. But what would happen if I just sat at the adult table right now?

14. What are they gonna do? They can’t just kick me out. Right?

15. Ah, screw it. I’ll try again next year.

The Bitter Truth of Comparing Every Guy to Your EX

I tell myself this date will be different. This time, I’ll be interested and engaged. I won’t think about you once.

But it never happens. Guys are compared to you from the very beginning and to no fault of their own they never make it past the first date.

Granted, our relationship wasn’t perfect. But our first date was.

We had this automatic physical attraction. I had no insecurities when I was around you and our conversation came effortlessly. We opened up to each other about things that are supposed to be “forbidden??? from the first date but we didn’t care. 

We connected and we knew we were about to spend every next day talking to each other from dusk to dawn.

And now it haunts me every time I give it a try with someone new.

Will they talk to me like they really care about what I’m saying? Are they going to make me laugh uncontrollably like you used to? 

Will they think my stupid jokes are funny like you did? Are we going to automatically just “click??? like we did? What if we don’t?

And lately, if they don’t meet your level of a first date, I let them go. I’ve set every guy up for failure by comparing them to you. But I’m waiting – hoping – that one will reach your level of first date perfection.

I know it’s not fair and that perfection is not only overrated but virtually impossible. But yet you made it possible and without even trying.

It’s partially my fault because I know I’m not giving my full attention. In the back of my mind, our first date is replaying over and over again. Your memory is haunting me and I know I’m over you but I can’t get you out of my head.

You’re all I can think about up until that awkward hug goodbye. And I know the guy is thinking it’s been a great date, and maybe it has. But not for me. 

Every date I come home and my roommates will ask the dreaded, “How was it???? And I can’t say anything more than just “Okay??? because of you.

Occasionally, I’ll have a “great??? date but it’s still not unreal like ours was and before the second date, I’ve already self-sabotaged. 

I’ve already told myself that this won’t be the same and they’re not in it for the right reasons. 

Any excuse to avoid that second date all because I’m worried perfection won’t ever happen to me again.

So to the guys that are so hopeful for our first date, I’m sorry you don’t make the cut, I’m sorry I’m holding you to such high standards you don’t even know about and I’m sorry you lost me before you even had a chance.

I hate that I can’t put anyone else above you. At least not yet.

Okay, so Bernie Sanders has been out of the limelight in the media for a little bit. But he’s back! And he’s here to tell our generation to get the hell out there and strive for the country we really want to live in. Politics aside, this guy is cool. And now he’s my spirit animal… they even have T-shirts on Etsy that say so.. I already checked them out.

So here’s why I’ve changed my spirit animal from a hummingbird to a Bernie Sanders…

1. The man’s got great hair

It’s practically iconic. The dude never has a bad hair day! His barber is the real MVP.. but that’s a whole other article.

2. He’s got a go-getter attitude

Even after Hillary got the bid, he supported her like Cady Heron supported Regina George after that bus hit her, throwing out pieces of the prom queen crown. And then even after Trump got the presidency, he’s still out there encouraging people to get involved in politics to change their country! And he believes they can do it!

3. He’s pretty fly for an old guy

I mean, his slogan became “Feel the Bern.??? How fly is that? He also knows how to use Twitter appropriately and that’s more than I can say for my grandparents.

4. He’s confident

If you’ve ever seen the man speak, he speaks with the confidence and vigor of a twenty-year old college student convincing their professor that they deserved a better grade (mostly because otherwise, they’ll fail but you get the point).

5. He doesn’t follow the norms

He spoke for eight hours straight on the Senate floor one time. Then transcribed it into a book. Then sold copies of the book for charity. No one does that. Literally no one.

6. He’s kinda quirky

He recorded his own folk music album and has a playable video game starring him. ‘Nuff said.

 If that doesn’t make you want to change your spirit animal to Bernie Sanders, I don’t know what to tell you. Good luck being an elephant or giraffe or something.

After putting my relationship before everything else in my life, I lost myself. I forgot everything I ever wanted for myself.

Eventually, I realized I wasn’t even the same person anymore. Things I used to enjoy doing felt like chores. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had laughed – like really laughed.

Tears rolling down my cheeks holding my stomach laugh. I had become someone I didn’t recognize anymore.

So I set out to change things. I was going to get back to the old me because I couldn’t stand living another day without myself. Here’s how I did it:

What’s causing your unhappiness? 

Go and make a list of everything about your life that you aren’t happy about. Figure out what you have control over and make the necessary changes that need to be done in order to fulfill yourself.

Pick one to start and the rest will go from there.

Now do the opposite. Make a list of everything you’re thankful for right now.

Nothing good ever comes from focusing just on the negative so give it a try. Make a list of things you should be thankful for or things that are going great!

What’s something you wanted to do but gave up on or never tried? Now do it.

If you’ve given up on it because you’ve lost yourself – give it a try again and you might start feeling like yourself again.

Get rid of the people in your life that aren’t helping you find yourself.

If they aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Surrounding yourself with negative people is going to take a toll on you emotionally and physically and that’s not going to help you be yourself again.

If anything, you’ll only end up being the person they want you to be and that ain’t you, boo. 

Do something YOU want to do. Take that chance. Make that move.

Maybe it’s as simple as cutting your hair or as extreme as quitting your job and moving away. Whatever it is, do it because it’ll make you feel the empowerment you’ve been missing.

Have alone time.

Find a place where you can go to distract yourself from the outside world. A place where you can reflect and ponder on yourself and on your life.

It can be any place as long as you are comfortable and can truly be yourself. 

Splurge on something. Food? Clothes? That Michael Kors purse?

When it comes down to it, nachos and a trip to TJ Maxx can cheer you up no matter how lost or unhappy you think you are. #TreatYoSelf

Journal. You’ll learn a whole lot about yourself.

You don’t have to write in it every day,but sometimes it’s helpful to read your own thoughts right there on paper.

 I’ll even make it easy for you by assigning you your first journal prompt: Write a letter to yourself so when you feel like you’re losing yourself again, you can go back and  remind yourself why you’re doing this.

Give yourself time.

Be patient. You’re not going to get back to the old you in a week or a month. It took time to lose you, it’s going to take time to get you back. 

One day you’ll get a little glimpse of the old you and you’ll realize how great you used to be!

I didn’t realize how much I truly missed me until the old me started to come back. Be selfish – put yourself first sometimes or you’ll lose yourself entirely.

If your family is anything like mine, you might need a drink at Thanksgiving dinner. Granted, my family doesn’t drink but what they don’t know is in my cider won’t hurt them (nips are essential.. plently of nips).

So for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, you’re going to need some drinks. Get your of-age cousins together and start pouring cause this drinking game is going to become a Thanksgiving tradition….

Drink whenever a family member brings up politics. Take a shot if voices get raised.

With that election ending so close to the holiday, there’s got to be a good healthy (okay, maybe not healthy) family debate over Thanksgiving dinner. 

Drink every time someone burns something in the kitchen.

There’s always one thing that just doesn’t come out right. Am I right?

Drink three times if you have to sit at the kids’ table.

If you’re 21 or over and you’re still at the kids’ table.. you know you’re nothing but a free babysitter for the little ones at this point. 

Drink every time you hear a story from a family member that you’ve already heard 50 times before.

My aunt tells the same story every year. Just grin and bear it. Then drink. 

Drink for everyone that has seconds of something at the dinner table.

Hey, if you’re not eating seconds, you’re not doing Thanksgiving right.

Wait 30 minutes after dinner and drink for the number of people asleep.

And it best not be you because you’ve got some more drinking to do! 

Drink every time someone asks another family member when he or she is getting married. Take a shot if it’s you they’re asking.

It’s bound to happen to one of you..

Drink whenever a touchdown is scored.

That should get you drunk enough to listen to the political debate that’s still going on. 

Drink every time someone yells at the TV.

It ain’t football without some yelling. 

Finish the entire bottle after dessert. You’ve survived so much already, might as well end it with a bang.

But drink responsibly and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. 

I swear all my friends are getting engaged, having kids, and buying houses. I’m happy for them! I’d love to be there… but I’m not.

 I’m eating three-day-old Chinese food and trying to decide if laundry can be put off yet another day. It’s a good day if I get a Tinder match that seems semi-normal and actually make dinner that doesn’t come out of a frozen box of goodness.

I was in a relationship when all my friends were single. Now I’m single when all my friends are in relationships. Oh, how the tables have turned. 

So here lie my struggles of being the only single friend in my friend group…

Now, getting everyone together means getting everyone and their plus one together. 

 It’s never just the girls anymore. I can’t blame them for wanting their better halves with them and I actually really like (most) of my friends’ boyfriends! 

It’s just annoying when one of them shows up without their boyfriend, then looks at me alone and says, “Oh I was so worried I would be the only one without a guy!??? *Gag*

Everyone wants to remember what it’s like to be single through you.

 Some say they miss their single life but who are they kidding? One friend even grabbed my phone and starting swiping right on every Tinder profile possible claiming she “missed this game.???

 Um, this is not a game, this is (unfortunately) my dating life, and now I have twelve subpar dudes sending pickup lines like “Damn girl, you shit with that ass????

Getting them to come out to the bar with me is like pulling teeth. 

I swear all my friends go to bed at like 9:00 now or that’s just a universal way of saying “I’m not coming out.???

 It’s like I need an entirely separate friend group solely of single friends to get a damn wing woman out here.

Everyone has suddenly forgotten the struggle of dating.

 I tell my friends my most recent escapades in the dating world and they’re horrified for me! Granted, some stories are horrifying but they’re not all that bad. 

They tell me what I deserve and trust me, I know I deserve more than some douche bag who secretly has a girlfriend on Bumble (yes, I just called you out) but it’s not easy to find out there in the single jungle.

The only single friends I have are the ones that I’ve friend-zoned.

I know, it’s so overrated to continue to put people in the friend-zone. But those are the only single friends I have! 

Hey, at least they go out with me, hold my hair when I’ve had too much, and don’t go to bed at 9.

Going out alone has become commonplace. 

What else am I supposed to do? I can’t watch “He’s Just Not That Into You??? or “The Notebook??? more than 50 times in one week.

 I literally took myself out to dinner and a show. It was cool at first, and then it got lonely when the waiter asked, “Just One???? emphasis on “just.???

Your friends don’t even bother giving you a plus one to weddings anymore.

 They know you’re single. They know you’re either going to go alone, bring your sister, or some dude that you won’t even be thinking about in a month. 

They don’t want to spend the money on a meal for a rando or have pictures with some random ass dude in them. 

You can’t blame them for that. But don’t expect me not to eye the best man, then.

You only see your friends on special occasions.

 Everyone has their own lives now. And it’s not just their own lives they’re balancing; it’s their partner’s too. 

Getting together isn’t like it used to be where you go out on a Thursday and then again on a Friday… and a Saturday. It has to be planned out in advance now. 

Everyone’s trying to set you up. 

Everyone suddenly has this really great guy they’ve forgotten about up until now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s appreciated. But it’s awkward. 

How do you tell the matchmaker that he sends you creepy texts and makes you want to crawl out of your own skin?

So embrace your single friend! Make them a third, fifth, or even seventh wheel and help them enjoy it as much as possible! 

They’re so happy your love life is coming together and maybe even jealous but only because they miss having their wingwomen at the bar and someone to cry along to “The Notebook??? with while eating stale frozen pizza cause now they just do that alone.

“Abusers are so manipulative. It’s like brainwashing you into not being you.” – Anonymous

I recently left a relationship all of my friends and family would call “unhealthy” and they didn’t even know the half of it. 

Luckily for me, the abuse never reached the physical point.

After two whole years, it was like it finally hit me. 

It was like one day everything over the past two years that was unhealthy was finally considered that – unhealthy.

Now, I can see the damage it did to me. 

And if someone in your life is going through something similar – take that into account. 

They’re not going to be the same person. The damage has been done. 

They know they’re not treating people the same anymore but they’re trying to go back to normal – trust me, they really are.

They will think everyone has a hidden agenda.

Even if it’s clear as day to an outsider that there is no “hidden agenda,” they will assume they are either being manipulated or taken advantage of in some way.

They will guard themselves like never before.

Letting people in will scare the living shit out of them. 

They’ve been hurt and they’re not about to let that happen again. And the best way to prevent that is to stay guarded.

They won’t trust as easily.

Before, they used to trust people aimlessly. Now, earning their trust is going to take more than a simple “you can trust me.” It’s going to take time and effort. 

They’re going to need to be proved wrong time and time again.

Any sign of conflict, and they will want to run.

They may not run – but they'll want to. It’s not because they can’t handle it. 

It’s because conflict always resulted in abuse.

They won’t take anyone’s crap anymore.

They don’t want to be treated that way ever again and letting someone do that is the last thing that’s going to happen on their watch. 

They will be selfish and put themselves first.

They’re going to stand up for themselves every chance they get – from the smallest confrontation to the largest. 

They're making up for lost time.

They will assume the worst out of people.

Maybe you forgot to text them back. They’ll assume you’re ignoring them. 

Maybe you had a disagreement. They’ll assume your friendship is over. 

So take my advice and go easy on them. They know their relationship changed them. 

And they're trying so hard to go back to the person they were. 

They're angriest with themselves – for letting themselves get treated that way for so long and not standing up for the better treatment they know they deserved. 

Now they're just trying to make up for lost time. 

Let them but help them.