Author: Brooke

You've all been told it's bad to send that dirty photo to someone. 

They could screenshot the picture and share it with all of their friends. These things might be true. But sometimes the reward is greater than the risk. Here's the reasons to send a dirty pic:

1. It's unexpected

You're going about your mundane day until you get a notification. You open it expecting to see something ordinary like a the food your S.O. had for lunch, when…BAM! All that sexy goodness fills your screen. Suddenly, staring at that computer screen isn't so boring.

2. It's flirty

Sending a little tease of yourself gets your partner's blood pumping. They get excited to see you. It's like digital foreplay! 

3. It's a Self-Esteem boost

You know you look good and that picture is just adding to that knowledge. You feel confident about who you are and your sexuality in this moment. And nothing is more self-esteem inducing than a compliment from your boo telling you just how good-looking you are. 

4. It's makes them think of you

No longer lost in thought over what to eat or that report that's due. After seeing that little image, their focus is on you. The person they get to see after this long day. They start to think about things the two of you can do. Both in and out of bed…

5. It's hot

The porn industry isn't a multi-billion dollar industry because no one's watching. People are watching because seeing a little nudity is hot! Your nudes don't have to be XXX but they can be a flash of skin and still be sexy!

6. It's FUN!

Knowing you're being a little risque is fun! It's like drinking underage and knowing there's a potential for getting caught. It's adrenaline pumping and you like to be just a little bit naughty. 

Just make sure your boss isn't looking or that the blinds are closed. You don't need unsolicited people getting a glimpse at your sexy self.

Some of us are wired to stay and fight for everything when things get tough or uncomfortable. Then there are others that run from everything. These girls run from commitment, careers, people, responsibilities, etc. 

But sometimes things come into their life that makes them want to stick around. Here are some things to expect when you're dating the girl who has the urge to flee:

When it comes to communication…

Trained never to text first, this girl won't be the first to put in the effort to talk to you. But after a few weeks, she will start to get comfortable with your relationship. Believing that you might be safe.

But be careful if you stop putting forth the effort you did in the beginning. The minute she believes she's putting in more effort, that's when she will start to pull back.

When it comes to relationships…

It's easier to be single because people only get as close as you let them. Now that she's met you, she's decided she wants to explore a relationship. She trusts you enough to let you in. 

But be careful not to break her trust. Or she will revert back to her comfort zone quicker than you can blink.

When it comes to feelings…

Most of the time she suppresses her feelings deep within her to protect herself. Now that she's met you, she has all of these feelings that are new to her. Some of them she loves and others she's still trying to figure out.

But this is scary for her. If she suspects that the feelings aren't mutual, she will create a Plan B ASAP. Most of the time her plan will involve fleeing town or even the country.

When it comes to social settings…

Because she's scared of all of these feelings and being in a relationship, she's always watching you. She notices how you act with your friends, her friends. When you're alone together and when apart for long periods of time.

Be mindful of how you're treating her. Because she is.

When it comes to conflict…

She's not a fighter so any form of conflict will make her run. If she senses that the two of you are going to have a disagreement, she will change the subject or leave. If she can't do either, she will clam up and not talk to you. 

Always be leery when your normally talkative girl gets suddenly quiet. She's probably suppressing her feelings.

When it comes to mind games…

Don't try to test your girl with mind games. She won't play back. If you text her something cryptic in hopes she'll ask, she won't play. She will just start talking to someone else. If you try to trick her into coming to a spot, she'll just run in the opposite direction.

Instead, be straight forward with her. She will appreciate this. 

Relationships are challenging when you're meshing two lives. When you're dating the girl who runs from everything, always remember honesty and transparency are key. The effort is worth it because once you're in, you have entered a world of love and adventure.

As humans, let alone girls, we love reading about ourselves. We love connecting with others and knowing that we’re not alone. Knowing there are other people that think the way we do. That share our weird tendencies. When we’re low, they feel our pain. When we’re in love, others are too.

But life gets messy. We think we’re strong and independent, then someone comes into our lives that makes us feel weak because we need them. Or we love romance and love and all that girly stuff, until someone comes into our lives and breaks our heart and spirit. Then we start building walls and running from romance.

And the list goes on of all the events in our lives that shape our personality and who we are in this present moment.

Whether that’s the blunt girl…

We all have it in us to say what’s on our mind. Sometimes it’s because we’re with people we feel safe expressing ourselves in front of. Other times it’s because life has thrown us so much that we have built up a defense. And we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks any more. Or we’re using this form of honesty to shield others from seeing what’s beneath us.

The reason behind the bluntness doesn’t matter. What matters is we all have the ability in us to say whatever is on our mind and the willpower to know when it’s best to shut our face. And some days we’re more blunt than others.

But just becuase our degree of bluntness may waver, doesn’t mean that we are no longer capable of being that blunt girl.

Whether that’s the alpha female…

The alpha female is the ever coveted woman in our society. She gives no f*%$ about others and walks to the beat of her own drum. Why? Because life has brought her to this point. For whatever reason, she has needed to step up and take care of herself when no one else could or she wanted them to.

The truth is, in our generation, there are more alpha females. Most of us work for things we want and have. We are where we are in life because we made those choices and didn’t let others steer our path. We are the ruler of our universe with everything in control.

Until someone comes into our lives and changes that. Whether that’s a significant other and whether it’s for the better is irrelevant. What matters is how we feel thrown. We don’t know how to be a beta because we haven’t had the practice. But we also don’t want to because we’ve been trained to think that beta is a bad thing. But it doesn’t have to be.

Sometimes in life we need other people. Sometimes other people will change our minds. That doesn’t make us any less alpha.

Whether that’s the notoriously single girl…

Maybe we’re the girl in the group that’s been single for a long time. Our reason for being single varies from being hurt to focusing on other things of the moment. But whatever the reason, here we sit at the bar for the umpteenth weekend talking to our girlfriends abour their relationship asking for advice. Even though, they won’t take it seriously because what experience do we have.

Yet we’re not offended. If we wanted to be in a relationship, we would be. But we don’t, which is why we’re not. And our lifestyle suits us just fine, thank you.

Until someone comes into our world and shatters our walls. Suddenly we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. It would be easy for us to go running back to our comfort zone of singledom. Except we really like this person so we find ourselves at a loss.

Whether thats the girl who loves to love…

Or we’re the opposite. We love being in relationships and sharing memories with people. We love romantic gestures and flowers and holidays. And when one relationship ends, we find ourselves in another after the mourning period.

Then one day, we find ourselves alone and broken. We can’t jump into another relationship. Everyone we’ve tried for has turned out wrong for us. But we keep trying beause we’re afraid to be single or alone. Or worse yet, we’re afraid what others will think now that we’re the single girl.

Whether we’re just a girl…

But at the end of the day, all these categories are boxes. Sometimes we float between them and so many others. The lists and articles cover our news feed. We read them like an addict trying to get more knowledge and deeper meaning for our life right now.

However, we all need to remember that we’re all girls. Whether we like Barbies or cars. Girls or Boys. Pink or Blue. We all want the same thing and that is to be loved. By others and by ourselves.

So when we’re reading these articles, we have to remember that they only relate to one tiny part of our lives. There is so much more that makes us who we are that any article, category, box, society, stereotype can never capture.

Hair, Hair, Everywhere!

Those long strands that fall from your head on the daily. Here’s what we can all relate to:

1. Waking up to hair all over the comforter, sheets, and pillow.
2. Pulling out handfuls when shampooing in the shower…
3. …and out of your brush.
4. Walking on hair in the bathroom.
5. Finding hair in clothes…
6. …and the rest of your laundry
7. Pulling hair out of the broom…
8. …cutting hair out of the vacuum.
9. Having to lint roll before going out the door.
10. Yet still having people pull strands from your back.
11. Struggling to find the tickling strand lost in your clothes.
12. Tasting strands that get caught in your lipgloss.
13. Pulling strands from your fellow’s beard.
14. Worse, when he finds them going down there.
15. Wiping strands from the sink.
16. Clogging the shower on a regular basis…
17. …Despite the collection of strands stuck to the glass.
18. Worrying that baldness is in your future.
19. Googling the average hair loss other women face…
20. …sighing relief to know you’re not alone.

Everyone likes to hate on One Direction and Justin Bieber for making bad music and only having teenie-bopper fans.

But let’s get real. Their music is actually pretty fantastic. Here’s just a few reasons why they get me:

1. I like causing trouble in hotel rooms
2. And secret rendezvous
3. And doing things I know we shouldn’t do
4. And going places we can’t even pronounce
5. Nobody can drag me down
6. Nobody
7. Nobody
8. And I’ll be gone
9. Gone tonight!
10. The story of my life!
11. I hope you listen
12. ‘Cause I let my guard down
13. I know you know I made those mistakes once or twice
14. By once or twice I mean maybe a hundred times 😉
15. Is it too late to say I’m sorry now?
16. But furreal
17. What do you mean when you nod your head yes
18. But you want to say no?
19. I didn’t want anyone thinking that I care
20. Because I don’t
21. You should go and love yourself
22. I fell in love
23. Now I fear nothing at all
24. Sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing
25. This life’s not easy
26. Don’t forget that I’m human
27. Don’t forget that I’m real
28. I’ll show you
29. No they don’t teach you this in school
30. Learn the lessons you teach 

The beginning of a relationship is considered the “Honeymoon stage”. A time where the two of us are so wrapped up in each other that we live in an alternate reality. But as all our fellow relationship people like to remind us, this will all fade away. Once we’re in a “real” relationship, things will become normal and we won’t find ourselves as happy.

However, there should be no reason why the Honeymoon stage should end. These are the things that we should try to hold onto, even as we grow old together.

1. We should still try to look good.

 When we’re single, we make an effort. We will put heels on, touch up our makeup, and keep up an exercise regimen. All in order to attract the attention of people we may never see again.

But then we get in a relationship and we become comfortable. We stop watching what we eat. We stop wearing clothes other than sweats. And we stop even buying the latest eyeshadow. When really this is the time we should make an effort. We should enjoy getting cute for our significant other because they’re the only one we have eyes for any more.

2. We should always be uplifting.

Giving compliments and being encouraging for someone is big in the beginning. We want them to like us and to think that we agree with their opinions. Or at least are trying to make an effort to understand them.

But once the relationship becomes full throttle, we change our tune and show our real selves. We start nitpicking about the things that we used to say we liked. Confusing our significant other. Which can only leave to negative outcomes. When really we should always want to be encouraging and compliment them. Our goal should be to support them during their successes and cheer them on through their failures. Because this is our person and we could only want the best for them.

3. We should want to jump them at any given moment.

In the beginning of a relationship, we want nothing more than to rip their clothes off and get down to the dirty. We think about it all day in anticipation of seeing them later that night. We get creative and try new things. We are always looking to please them in some way.

But then the relationship stretches into months on end, and we get passive. No longer taking the time to please our significant other, we come up with excuses like we’re tired, we’ve had a busy day, or we have to be up early. Choosing to let that part of our lives sit on the back burner, while we devote ourselves to other things like Netflix. And while our lives will change and our sex drive will dip, we should never stop the passion. We should find our significant other attractive and they should still cause our hearts to race. Physical contact, like kissing and a thigh grab under the table, shouldn’t only be reserved for the newly taken.

4. We should always talk things through.

In the beginning, no one wants to step on toes or be the first to start a fight. We’re still trying to impress this person and are scared a fight will be the detriment to our relationship. Even if we know a disagreement is inevitable.

But if the fight turns into an all out screaming match, where we don’t talk for a few days, we have a problem. We need to remember that we are a team and we should treat it as such. Meaning when we have our disagreements, we discuss them to understand the other person’s perspective. We always forgive and move-on. Never holding a grudge or bringing up past events just to hurt the person in our next fight. Because this is our person and we should never want to hurt them. Especially just to win an argument.

5. We should still try make an effort.

In new relationships, we make an effort to make plans, and go out on dates, and to call when we say we will. We crave that interaction and want the other person to see that we are trying. See that we are all in.

But after a few months, we stop planning in advance, choosing to just assume we will be doing something instead. We stop going out on dates, choosing to order in and binge watch TV instead. We stop calling to check in, determining that we either have nothing to say and no desire to try. When really, we should be making the effort. We should be showing our affection and treating our significant other to something special. Dating shouldn’t only be reserved for the single. It should be invented for the committed.

6. We should keep up with the little things.

Buying flowers because we were thinking of you, or writing a letter when we have to be gone for a trip, or making them breakfast in bed when they sleep over on the weekend. These, among numerous other things, are what we enjoy doing weekly in a new relationship. We are always looking for an excuse to be sweet and give to our significant other. Because this is how we show that we care.

But after being committed for awhile, we stop. We decide that we’ve put in the effort and this is our prize. Now we can just sit back and enjoy the spoils. Now we’re lucky if we remember the big things, so we can’t be troubled with attempting the little things. When really this is the time to start the little things. We should always want to show our appreciation and our gratitude. Remebering tiny details that are meaningful to our significant other mean more than a large gift at Christmas. We should care every day of the year.

7. We should maintain an interest in our own lives.

In a new relationship, we still have our friends and maintain an effort to appear like we have a life. We don’t want to come across as clingy or needy, so we only see each other once in awhile.

But as soon as the relationship is in full force, it becomes what are we going to do. Or we won’t make plans until we’ve run something past our significant other, because we would hate to see anyone but them. However, we should never stop having our own lives. We should always try to maintain a balance, like we do with every other aspect of our lives. Because having a life gives us interest, creates something to talk about, and allows for some time of separation. It’s unhealthy for our lives to revolve around a person.

8. We shouldn’t feel pressured to move at an uncomfortable pace.

We grow concerned in a new relationship about whether or not we are moving too quickly. We play pointless mind games involving texting, and social media, and hangouts just to see where the other person is. Then we get into a relationship and feel pressured about when the right time is to do things. When or if we should be Facebook official? When and if we should post photos? When and if we should say ‘I love you’? When and if we should move-in, talk about the future, or take the next “big” step?

But we shouldn’t be worried. Instead, we should be communicating with our significant other and making decisions. We shouldn’t feel pressured to be like any one else. Or feel bad if we aren’t moving at the same pace as our peers. A relationship is between two people and it should stay as thus. If we feel ready to move-in, say I love you, and be married in a month, we shouldn’t feel bad. As well as, we shouldn’t feel bad about taking a month before we start talking on the phone, or seeing each other on a regular basis. It’s all how it feels right to us.

9. We shouldn’t let others influence our relationship.

People love giving advice more than they love asking for advice. So in the beginning of a relationship, our peers like to weigh in and offer their opinions. Some are good. Others are not.

But we shouldn’t let others make decisions for us. The only two who know the whole story and how they feel are us. The two that are actually in the relationship. And as much as we love and value other people, we can’t let them create doubts or problems where there wasn’t originally. We should listen and then decide for ourselves what is right. Because at the end of the day, it’s our lives.

10. We should always act like today is the first and the last.

In the beginning, we are always looking forward to seeing them. And when they leave, we can’t wait to make plans to see them again. We even spend time in between missing them, because we like seeing them so much.

But after we’ve been together for some time, we stop valuing the time together. We take it for granted and seeing them becomes ordinary, even mundane. When really, we should be still get excited to see them. Miss them when we’re away from them. And want to make plans with them. Because every day together is a blessing that we should be grateful for.

So here’s to always being in the Honeymoon stage. Or as it should be called, the relationship stage.

We all know those people that still seem stuck in their childhood. They can’t take things seriously and still giggle at inappropriate times. We sometimes tease them and say that they need to grow up like the rest of us before they can settle down and have a family. But maybe those childlike friends are going to make the best parents…

1. They’re ok with looking at things around them.

Often distracted by shiny things or caught staring out of windows, these people will not be annoyed when their kids want to do the same thing. They will be content to lay in the yard finding shapes in the clouds. Or taking walks in the park to admire every leaf and bug they pass.

2. They’re not afraid of making messes.

Not one to stay completely clean themselves, they won’t mind when their kid gets dirty either. While baking, it’s expected to get flour everywhere. While crafting, the paper and the glitter are expected to cover the floor. But no worries, these very able adults also know when it’s time to clean up. Like after eating the chocolate chip cookies.

3. They love them some kid food.

Grilled cheese. Mac n Cheese. Pizza. Popsicles. Ice cream. Oh that list that forever continues. These Kidults love it all! So when their kids are throwing a fit, going through their picky stage, they won’t mind eating their old favorites. They also have improved on the recipes so now they’re more awesome and sometimes more healthy so the kids will develop a better palette.

4. They love all things coloring.

Kidults already can be found pretty-fying their coloring books, painting in the sun, or doodling at work. So when their child comes home and wants to color or try something new they learned in art class, these people will jump at the opportunity. Welcome to hours of bonding that their children will remember for a lifetime.

5. Imagination is their middle name.

Building blanket forts to watch movies, camping in the backyard, or pretending to be someone their not, are games that all children love. And Kidults are down for anything their children throw at them. Now their kids will have flowing imaginations just like their older parents.

6. Cartoons is a fave pasttime of theirs.

Watching Saturday morning cartoons, or cartoon network, or Disney movies is something these childlike adults do whenever their in need of some down time. So when their child wants to watch Despicable Me thirty times in a row, they won’t be complaining. They also love the minions.

7. Their kid’s outfit choices won’t bother them.

Kidults also believe they can be whatever they want to be. Meaning they can wear whatever they want, when they want to. So if their lil kiddo wants to go out in a superman cape to the grocery store, these parents will make a game of it. They will just be on a mission to save the world and buy all the snacks!

8. They understand the important of naps.

After a full day, or a long night, kid adults sometimes need to take a nap to refresh for the day. Monkey see, monkey do. Meaning their children will understand and love taking naps too. Meaning everybody will be happy by dinner time.

Just be thankful there’s another adult in the mix. Somebody has to supervise.