28 Signs Your Life Is A Romantic Comedy, Minus The Romance

Everything is almost right. You’re meeting cute guys in even cuter ways. Your friends are hilarious: every time you say “lol,” you are actually laughing out loud. And you’re clumsier than ever. In an adorable way, of course.

 

The problem? The cute guys never text you back. And when your hilarious friends actually give you good advice, you don’t follow it. Everything about your life is exactly like a romantic comedy, minus the romance. Because when it comes to love, your gut is at the bottom of the gutter.

 

1. You met a hot, adorable guy in an elevator the other day.

 

2. He helped you pick up your purse and didn’t even laugh at all the tampons and Tums he saw.

 

3. But he never texted you back.

 

4. Your first kiss with the last guy you were dating was in the rain.

 

5. . . . It’s too bad you were wearing a white shirt and your worst bra.

 

6. You live in a really expensive apartment. You can barely afford it, and it’s not fancy at all. It’s actually a totally run-down disaster.

 

7. And it’s always messy.

 

8. Your best friend is more quirky than you.

 

9. But her advice on love and romance? Terrible.

 

10. You’re extremely awkward, especially around attractive men. But not in a way that’s also kind of cute.

 

11. You hate this one guy so much right now.

 

12.  . . . He’s going to be your next boyfriend.

 

13. Your gay co-worker tells you what to wear.

 

14. And how to give a blow job.

 

15. But it seems that whenever you follow his advice, disaster strikes.

 

16. Like, when he told you to hum while you give a blow job, you hummed “Let It Go” from Frozen.

 

 

Weird Things Every Girl Is Guilty Of Overthinking In Her Relationship

We’re all pretty much insecure about the same things but on different levels. And some of these things we’re insecure about—even in the most secure relationships—aren’t things we’re really willing to admit to our significant others: that his ex is prettier than us, that we kind of want him to text us first sometimes, that we hate asking him for help and more…

1. When you tell us we’re pretty

We know you think we’re beautiful. You say it with your eyes, and you say it all the time. But when you say it too often, we get kinda insecure about it. We know this sounds crazy. But we promise: it’s not. When you tell us we’re pretty every day, we wonder if you’re just saying it because you feel obligated to say it.

2. When you compliment us at all, really. . .

When you tell us the sweetest things, of course, we love it. But it also makes us insecure. And it sucks. Like, if you tell us how smart we are, we feel constant pressure to be smart.

So that means we kinda freak out if we’re wrong about something, because what if that’s the thing that makes you realize you don’t like us as much as you thought?

3. Saying ‘we’re forever’ is beautiful, but also a lot of pressure. . .

When we hear you say “forever,” we get excited but freak out at the same time. We want forever, too! That’s why we’re with you. But the future is scary as hell.

What if we want the same things now, but don’t in five years? We trust in you and this relationship, but things can change in time.

4. We worry that we’re thinking about you too much. . .

Everything either reminds us of you or is something we want to share with you but the idea that this puppy love has consumed us when we swore we would never, ever be like this, makes us majorly insecure about who we are.

Also, we can’t help but wonder: are you thinking about us as much as we’re thinking about you?

5. You know everything about us, you have all our dirty secrets.

Other than our BFF (who literally can’t judge because we honestly know way too much) no one knows our inner demons and flaws and all that dark twisty shit as much as you do.

So when we let you in, we also let in all this anxiety and wonder that you may judge us. That maybe you think we’re not the “confident” person you thought we were.

We never want you to think we’re fake and definitely never want you to get annoyed that we sometimes just need a vent sesh. Ok, we need to vent a lotta the time, and we’re super insecure about because we know how often we do it.

6. Even when you tell us we’re great in bed . . .

Not all of our sex is great sex, and that’s ok with us. But is it ok with you? Sometimes we wonder if we’re doing something wrong, or if we’re boring in bed.

And sometimes we even wonder if you think we’re too comfortable with each other?

7. Having the money talk. . .

Money sucks, but it’s a necessary part of life. And if our relationships are gonna last, we have to talk about it, as much as we don’t want to.

If you make more money than us, we’ll feel guilty when you pay for things. If we make more money than you, we’ll still feel guilty when you pay for things. Too many relationships end because couples ignore this topic altogether, which makes us want to talk about it no matter how insecure it makes us, no matter how scary it is.

Why Every Girl Needs To Be A Little More Unfiltered

She’s been called “crazy” many times just for having feelings and being unfiltered. Are human beings not supposed to have human emotions anymore? She must have missed the memo.

She used to hide her so-called-crazy. She used to apologize for it, but she won’t anymore because it’s just who she is. She’s a bold, crazy, unfiltered, brash, outspoken girl and she doesn’t give a single fuck.

1. She’ll never pretend to be someone she’s not.

She’s happy. She’s had bad relationships and great ones, been in love and fallen out of it. Trying to hide her true self only got her hurt.

Now she’s her authentic self at all times and her authentic self just so happens to be a badass bitch. Sorry, not sorry, that makes her pretty awesome.

2. She gets what she wants when she wants it, no games necessary.

Unfiltered girls tell the truth, even when it’s harsh. She asks the hard questions in the heat of the moment, goes with her instincts, and acts on what her conscience tells her.

And that’s why she gets what she wants. She says what she wants and fights for it when necessary; eventually, she gets it.

3. She never hides her true intentions.

If she only wants to sleep with him and keep romance out of it, she lets him know right away. If she’s falling for him, she tells him. When she’s in love, she says so, even if she’s scared or it’s “too soon.”

She won’t sugar coat shit. She knows what and who she wants. She wants a king, not a prince because she’s a queen, not a princess.

4. No one fucks with her… at least, not more than once.

Her reputation precedes her. She’s intimidating for a reason: to protect herself. She DGAF who’s scared of her or who calls her crazy (it’s actually a compliment at this point.)

Men know not to play with her heart like it’s silly putty. People who haven’t even met her already know her…well, they know that “she’s crazy.” Her resting bitch face helps deter the few who don’t.

5. She’s passionate and she’ll fight to keep the things she loves.

She knows how to love. She feels every feeling to the extreme, that’s why she acts on every little thing. Every pesky argument she starts comes from an uncontrollable place in her brain that’s directly connected to her heart.

She wouldn’t be worried that someone was lying to her if they didn’t matter. All of her craziness is pure, caring, and true; it’s dramatic, but it’s not an act. She doesn’t fight for people who aren’t worth it.

6. She’s herself, always, and there’s no one she’d rather be.

She has absolutely #nofilter. She says what she thinks when she thinks it. When she says “I’m fine,” she’s actually fine. She doesn’t have two personalities and she’ll never put on a show for anyone.

She will never change. Anyone who thinks that’s a bad thing can walk away – she won’t care. She’s not interested in wasting her time on people who want her to be different. She may be unfiltered, but she’s sure as hell never boring.

15 Truths Of The Girl Who’s Hit Rock Bottom

Life sucks more often than it doesn’t these days. You feel like you’re stuck in a deep hole that you can’t get out of, and no one can help you.

The sky is raining cat piss and you can’t afford an umbrella because it’s either that or no pizza, but you’re learning about yourself—and life, more now than ever before, so you’re not letting it get to you.

In a way, you’re proud of your home you’ve built in rock bottom.

  1. In an attempt to shop for groceries like an adult, you end up getting a frozen pizza.

  2. You grew impatient waiting so you took it out early, and ate it alone in your bed in one sitting, even though it was partly still cold.

  3. Your card gets declined at least once a week. And usually when you’re about to purchase something essential, like tampons or coffee.

  4. For every day you have more than one meal a day, you have to skip one in the coming days.

  5. You leave the house without a bra more often than you leave the house wearing a bra.

  6. It rains every time you go outside without an umbrella, even if rain wasn’t in the forecast. And when it rains, it pours.

  7. You bought shoes knowing that it would overdraft your account.

  8. After reading all of the drunk texts you sent your ex, you smile to yourself because you’re actually pretty proud of the insults that drunk-you came up with.

  9. You don’t ask anyone for advice anymore. Not your mom, not your best friend, no one. You rely on yourself to get through this because you don’t get disappointed in yourself for not taking the advice you prescribe.

  10. You identify with Kristin Wiig’s character in Bridesmaids.

  11. At this point, your wardrobe is pretty much exclusively sweatpants, all of which have holes in the butt and/or crotch.

  12. It takes you three to five hours to get out of bed every day. Because your best friend’s dad’s Netflix account is always there for you.

  13. You ate an entire plate of nachos on your last date, and he admitted he kind of thought you were going to share it.

  14. Since you’re always too tired to do laundry, you’re wearing your underwear inside out. And will until all of those are dirty—on both sides.

  15. When that happens, you’ll probably just buy new underwear, which will probably overdraft your account. Whatever, everything is gonna be ok. Not today. Probably not tomorrow. Maybe not any day soon. But someday.

And once you kick rock bottom’s ass, you’ll be on top of the world. One day, you’ll laugh about your dark days in a walk-in closet filled with shoes and all of the puppies.

To The Ex I Can't Get Out of My Head, Please Stop Confusing My Heart

I let you in, and I let you go. And it’s about time you let me go, too. I told you I didn’t want to keep you in my life in any capacity—something I thought I made crystal clear. 

But how could I expect you to know that? 

You weren’t listening when I said it, you weren’t listening ever. But I guess I’ll always be the fool. 

When you like pictures I post, I make sure I roll my eyes and bitch about it to my friends for hours. I pretend I don’t feel the butterflies in my stomach.

I try remember the bad times. Never the good. When you text me, it takes every ounce of my being to not respond. And I don’t most the time, I’m getting stronger

I liked who you were sometimes. But I realized who I liked was someone you were pretending to be. It wasn’t you. I never knew the real you. And I never will. Because I need to move on to something—someone, better. 

I don’t have time to wait for you to change. I’m not wasting my time waiting for you to grow out of being a selfish jerk. I’m better than that, and you know it. 

But here’s the hard part: I’m not saying you’re an asshole through and through. I know there’s a part of you, deep inside, that is a good person

But you’re scared. You’re too scared to show it. You’re so scared of being vulnerable, that you push people away. 

And that’s what tugs at my heart, reels me back in when I thought I had gone far enough away.

I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I could have ended it before I got in too deep, but a part of me wanted to wait for you to change. 

Now, I know I have to be done waiting, I have to move forward. But it’s so hard to do that when we’re broken up, and you’re reaching out to me more than you did when we were together. 

So, please. Stop

Stop calling me. Stop drunk texting me. Stop emailing me. Stop liking my pictures. Stop apologizing. Just, stop

I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with you. Because whatever you do, no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to get me back. You’re only making it worse. 

You’ll never become the man I think you can be—the man I genuinely want you to be, if you can’t move on from this. Please just leave me alone. Move on, and we’ll both be better people.

If the Butterfly Feelings Have Faded Away, Know This

You thought they’d never go away. You thought things would be different this time because everything with him felt special. 

But that feeling eventually flutters away. Because they’re supposed to go away—even in the best relationships.

In the end, there’s nothing to fear because when you lose the butterflies, you gain so much more. You’ll always miss the butterflies, and miss the days when you were just getting to know each other. 

But what comes after they leave is much more important and much more valuable: comfort and trust. 

Butterflies don’t equal love. They equal thrill—and even fear. 

If the butterflies stay—if the honeymoon phase lasts forever—then is what you have really real? Probably not. 

If you’re continuously high on love, you’re kidding yourselves. You’re ignoring what’s important. And the relationship will crumble if you never prepare yourselves for the unexpected. 

When the butterflies are gone, you’ve reached peak comfort. You can say anything to each other, no judgment. You trust each other. You can wear anything—or nothing—whether the lights are on or off. 

It might not feel right. But the butterflies have to go. It's what your relationship needs to work—and last.  

But just because the butterflies are gone, doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. 

The butterflies will temporarily come back when you don’t see each other for days, weeks, months. The butterflies will come back when you’ve had a bad day or a bad week and he’s the only person you want to see—because he’s the one person who makes you feel like everything is going to be ok, even if he doesn’t say a word.

Now you have a partner in life. Someone who loves you. Someone you love back. Someone who makes you less scared of this crazy thing called life. And that is much better than a crush will ever, ever be. 

Which Game of Thrones House You're In, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

We all know Westeros is a dangerous, kind of horrible place, but secretly we actually want to be a part of it . . .

Aries: House Targaryen

You’re determined, adaptable, and you always get the job done. Everything goes your way, and you don’t mind showing off—whether it’s your impeccable High Valyrian or your freaking dragons. You can come across as terrifying sometimes, and your stubbornness gets in the way of your progress, so it’s always helpful for you to have a more easy going person by your side. 

Words: Fire And Blood 

Notable members: Daenerys Targaryen, Rhaegar, The Mad King, 

Taurus: House Stark

You’re incredibly stubborn and you want everything to go your way: which is always the right way. You fight for what’s right, even if you’re surrounded by the opposing sides. You’re secretly down-to-earth,  but on the surface you come off a little cold and more prideful than you intend.

Words: Winter Is Coming

Notable Members: Ned Stark, Catelyn, Arya, Sansa, Robb, Bran, Rickon, Jon Snow

Gemini: House Baelish

You’re mysterious, sometimes gentle, sometimes evil AF. Just depends on the day. No matter how well people think they know you and what you’re up to, they actually have no idea. You’re unpredictable and not always loyal. But you’re fiercely loyal to the people you’re loyal to: despite the fact that the person you’re loyal to will never love you back. 

Words: None, because you’re so freaking mysterious like that. 

Notable member: Littlefinger (Petyr Baelish)

Cancer: House Tarly 

You’re dependable, caring, and observant. You don’t usually stand out in a crowd, because you don’t want to: even though you totally deserve recognition for the great things you do. You’ll do anything for your friends, and even people who’ve wronged you. You tend to get very clingy, and are a little self-absorbed—it’s hard for you to listen because there’s always something on your mind.

Words: First In Battle

Notable member: Samwell Tarly

Leo: House Lannister

Even if their house banners weren’t embroidered with golden lions, you’d still be a Lannister. You’re confident, cunning, and determined. But your weaknesses also lie in your strengths: your pride always gets in the way, because you tend to think you’re better than everyone else.

Words: Hear Me Roar and unofficially, A Lannister Always Pays His Debts

Notable Members: Tywin Lannister, Jaime, Cersei, Tyrion

Virgo: House Aryn 

You’re practical and take pride in your intelligence. But you’re a little unapproachable because you’re aloof, and you don’t waste your time on matters that don’t directly concern you. You don’t take sides until it’s absolutely necessary . . . which can hurt you in the long run, because it comes across as if you just don’t care. 

Words: As High As Honor

Notable members: Jon Arryn, Robyn Arryn, Lysa Arryn

Libra: House Tyrell

You’re easy going and approachable. You’re very social, which helps you with your diplomatic skills—you were basically born to lead. The problem is that you actually care what people think about you, which contributes to your indecisive nature. Which also means that you switch loyalties pretty often, but not because you want to hurt anyone: it’s because you want to succeed.

Words: Growing Strong

Notable members: Margery Tyrell, Mace, Loras, Olenna (Queen of Thorns)

Scorpio: House Greyjoy

Above anything, you value your independence. You’re intimidatingly passionate, and you don’t care what people think of you—as long as they know you exist. You’re resourceful (the Greyjoys have all the boats!) but you hold on to old grudges and let your jealousy make your decisions for you. 

Words: We Do Not Sow

Notable members: Theon Greyjoy, Yara, Balon

Sagittarius: House Bolton

You’re an opportunist, not a loyalist, so there’s no telling what’s really going on in your mind.

You’re kind of a loner, and it’s hard to get to know you and trust you. You’re not loyal to anyone but yourself. You work independently and you don’t care what people think of you. As long as you’re doing whatever the heck you want, you’re happy.  

Words: Our Blades Are Sharp

Notable members: Roose Bolton, Ramsay

Capricorn: House Baratheon

You’re bold, brave, and sometimes brooding. You don’t believe in failure. When you walk into a room, all eyes are on you. People look up to you and value your opinions. The problem is that you are well aware of this, so you can get cocky and make impulsive decisions. Oh, and no one wants to be around you when you’re in one of your “moods.”

Words: Ours Is The Fury

Notable members: Stannis Baratheon, King Robert, Renly, Shireen 

Aquarius: House Martell

You go against the grain, and value your independence. You want to be known for your cleverness and your imaginative side, and don’t care what other people think of you. Your rebellious side tends to get you in trouble. 

Words: Unbowed Unbent Unbroken

Notable members: Oberyn Martell, Doran Martell, Trystan Martell

Pisces: House Tully

You’re compassionate. Your devotion to your friends and family is unparalleled. Even if they’ve wronged you in the past, you’ll do anything for them. You work hard, and don’t expect results if you never tried. You let your emotions get in the way of important decisions, because you get wrapped up in what’s going on in your mind. So rationality is definitely not your strong suit. 

Words: Family Duty Honor

Notable members: Catelyn Stark, The Blackfish, Edmure Tully, Lysa Arryn 

The "Resting Bitch Face" Drinking Game

It’s your every day life. So you might as well make a game out of it . . .

Take a sip every time you make a baby cry.


Take a sip every time you scare a puppy away.


Take a sip when someone is seriously surprised that you aren’t the Angel of Death.


Take a sip every time someone calls you “unapproachable.”


Or “intimidating.”


Take a shot every time your accidental death stare scares the cute boys away. 


Take a shot every time someone asks if you’re a serial killer . . . because you sure look like one.


And a take a sip every time you would say the same thing to yourself. 


Take a sip every time someone asks, “are you okay?”


Take a sip every time someone curses at you out of nowhere, because gosh you’re sooooo rude. But really it’s just the way your face looks. 


Take a sip if cat-calling men tell you to smile. 


Take another sip if you give them the middle finger. 


Take a sip if you’re pretty sure you have no friends at work because they’re all terrified of you.


Take a sip every time someone assumes you’re having a bad day.


Take a sip every time you have to tell someone, “I’m fine, really!”


Take a sip every time you look in the mirror and think, wow, I look exactly like Grumpy Cat.


Take a shot every time someone says, “I thought you were such a bitch when we first met.”


Chug while taking photos because while you’re drinking you won’t have to smile. 


Take a sip every time smiling hurts. 


And take a shot when people see your actual bitch face. It’s pretty scary . . .

The "Living At Home For Summer" Drinking Game

Because you’re obviously bored, the alcohol is free, and there’s nothing else to do…

Take a sip every time you have to pretend to be excited about seeing people you were excited to never have to see again. 


Take a sip every time your high school friends are nothing compared to your college friends. 


But take another sip, because you still love them. 


Take a sip every time your high school friends don’t understand a joke you have with your college friends. 


Take a sip when your mom does your laundry for you. 


And washes your dishes. 


And take a sip every time you forget about this magical machine known as “dishwasher.”


Take a sip every time you don’t miss the cafeteria food compared to home cooking.


But take another sip because you kind of miss having french fries every day.


Take a sip if you honestly ate too many french fries to show up at the pool anytime soon.


Take a sip for every time your parents buy you things.


Take a shot for every item they buy for you at Target. 


And take a sip every time you are overwhelmed with joy because you can go to Target pretty much any time you want all summer. 


Take a sip when you check your bank account and see more money in there than you have in months. Because at least for now you don’t buy alcohol and pizza literally always.


Take a sip every time you feel weird about masturbating in your childhood bed.


Take a sip if you think it’s weird that the shower is so clean.


And take another sip because you don’t have to wear shower shoes for a few months. 


Finish the drink when you’ve watched literally everything on Netflix, Hulu, and HBOGo.


Take a sip when you actually miss going to class. 


And homework.


And writing papers.


And take a freaking shot when you actually kind of miss the library. 


Take a sip every time you think it is insane that everyone in your family goes to bed at 10pm. Because your bed time is a little closer to 3am at this point. 


Take a sip every time you wonder if your family is going to judge you for how late you sleep in tomorrow.


Take a sip every time your family judges you for eating all of the food while they’re sleeping.


Go through old family photos and take a sip for every picture you save in your phone for a #tbt. Now you’re drunk AF and you’ve got enough #tbt pics to last until you come home for Thanksgiving. What an incredibly productive summer at home!

 

24 Questions I Have For Shonda Rhimes

The creator of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, How To Get Away With Murder, and many more basically rules television and the world. She determines who lives, who dies, whose life kinda sucks, and can also make us incredibly happy. She rules television and is a hero, but she needs to answer these questions so we know everything to know about the one woman we love and hate at the same time. 

  1. Do you consider yourself a murderer? Because you’ve killed a lot of people. 

  2. Will you be my best friend, even though you’re sort of a murderer?

  3. Why O’Malley?

  4. Why McSteamy?

  5. Why McDreamy?

  6. Just . . .  why?

  7. Why must you torture Meredith Grey so much?

  8. If I finally find my McDreamy, will he just die?

  9. On Grey’s Anatomy, is being a surgeon genetic or something? 

  10. Do you also tear up every time you see a post-it?

  11. Are you a professional life ruiner? Is that what’s on your resume?

  12. When do you plan on running for president? Because I’m voting for you no matter what. 

  13. Like, even if you’re not even running. 

  14. Do you think Fitz was a good president?

  15. Can you give me a job? Because I’ve got some ideas on how to not kill off characters.

  16. Do you sleep? 

  17. If so . . . how do you have time?

  18. Also . . . do you dream in the Grey’s Anatomy world, the Scandal world, or the How To Get Away With Murder world?

  19. How are your shows so addictive? 

  20. Which character of yours do you identify the most with? 

  21. Do you know how many hours of my life I’ve wasted watching your shows (more than once)?

  22. How do you come up with all these stories and all these characters?

  23. Are you stressed literally all the time?

  24. Be honest: am I a gladiator?
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