Author: Chelsea Policelli

As a teenager in rural Pennsylvania I pretty much lived vicariously through reality shows that took place on the West Coast. From the O.C. to Laguna Beach to The Hills I was hooked.

Recently I had a gnarly vacation from work and did nothing but binge watch The Hills from beginning to end 10 years after it premiered.

Don’t get me wrong, LC was and always will be my girl and there wasn’t one episode where I questioned her choices or behavior. Slay.

Butttt I had some issues with the ways the lives of the cast were represented.

As a 14 year old without a job and living under mommy and daddy’s roof I had no idea what life was supposed to be like in your twenties.

Now, as a 24 year old with a full time job that hasn’t had financial support from my parents in years, I realize that life in LA was so totally not normal.

At one point, Audrina goes on a date with some dude and he asks her what she did earlier that day, then pauses and says “oh yeah, that’s right. You have a job”….and laughs…

Homeboy moved to LA to become a model/actor apparently.

I just sat on my couch like what a second…these people could just drop out of school WHENEVER and magically end up with full time jobs in the entertainment industry at 19 YEARS OLD.

And did y’all not realize that you were on a show and all the things you were lying about were going to be watched by your cast mates in a few months. Aye aye aye.

All in all, this show definitely had an effect on me as a teenager and I thought I’d grow up and fate would bring me to the beach with a $300 extensions and a celebrities’ son for a boyfriend.

Teenagers binge watch this shit. There should be more “reality” shows displaying the struggles that the majority of young adults face in this country.

I’m over here counting change to get milk and Heidi’s complaining about sitting at a thousand dollar desk for an hour. Fuck.

Seems like a simple concept, right? Wrong.

How does the saying go? Treat others how you want to be treated? The common sense for that phrase seems to be pretty uncommon these days.

Whether it comes to friendships, family, or a relationship if you’re not be treated the way you want you may want to start taking a deeper look in the mirror.

If you’ve gone over every little detail and simply are not doing anything wrong, then great. Good for you! You’re one of the rare ones. 

BUT (and this is going to take some serious self-evaluation) if there are things that you’re doing that probably are affecting the happiness of a relationship, OWN THAT SHIT. And LEARN from it.

I always tell people that the reason that I have such healthy relationships in my life is because I give out what I want to receive back.

If I don’t want girlfriends to cancel on me, then I don’t cancel on them.

If I have certain expectations of my significant other, then I reciprocate.

I truly think that our generation of “millennials??? (hate that term) are, frankly, a bunch of spoiled brats who expect to be put on a pedestal without having to put any work in themselves.

The catch with being up on a pedestal? That’s a long ass way to fall.

Do not go to a bar, meet a guy, let him see you talking to 5 other dudes that night and still expect him to text you the next day and want to get to know you. 

Obviously, this goes for all genders.

Basically, it comes down to showing/proving to people that you are who you say you are and want what you say you want.

Hopping from relationship to relationship for the world to see on Facebook does not make you look like someone who wants a long-term romance.

I guess keeping yourself a little bit of a mystery ties into that as well.

While social media can truly be an unfair place of cruel judgment and wrongly formed opinions, it is pretty simple to represent yourself appropriately.

Find the balance between staying true to yourself and treating others how they deserve. 

We’re brought into each other’s lives to help one another, bring happiness and support. 

If you can’t give someone what you expect them to give you, it’s either not the right match or you need to take a look in the mirror.

I hate confrontation. I probably always will. Even seeing other people have an argument in front of me stresses me out.

The downside to being empathetic is that you can literally feel what those around you are feeling. 

Witnessing someone treating another badly gives me goose bumps that I have to physically shake off.

But I always stay silent. I’m always afraid that I’ll lose. That I won’t be heard. That it won’t be worth it. That my feelings will be hurt.  

That it’ll turn into my problem.

Which is nuts because the few times in my life that I have spoken up are memories I can remember word for word like it was just yesterday. I’m proud of those moments. 

Yet some part of me still has guilt over possibly hurting another’s feelings. And I worry that I’ve been wrongly judged by those few moments.

I’ll never understand how some people don’t think before they speak. How do they not care how they come off? 

There’s a difference between not caring what others think and not caring about others.

I’ve tip-toed around other people my whole life. I’ve told them what they’ve wanted to hear. 

I’ve let them get away with unnecessary behavior just so that I can stay out of it.

I’m done.

The older I get, the more I cannot keep my fucking mouth shut.

I’m not a door mat. I may be the baby of the family, but I’m not a baby. Nor do I act like one.

I’m 24, own a house, have a full-time job, a healthy relationship and I’m the best damn cat mom ever.

I’ve been through some shit and it’s made me a better, KINDER, person. I have never let my past harden me.

How can I expect certain circumstances to ever be different if I continue to sit on the sidelines?

If something’s wrong, you need to hear about it. I’ve had to hear everyone else’s loud ass mouths my whole life. 

You can sit back and listen to my rational opinions from now on. It’s not going to kill you.

In a matter of 24 hours, I’m more proud of myself than I have been in my entire life. I choose my words wisely and I’m respectful. 

I care about how my words and actions affect others and I’m careful to ensure they come off correctly.

I’m really fucking proud of myself and I encourage my fellow introverts to come out of their shells and say how they feel. 

Tell your boyfriend that texting his ex makes you insecure. 

Tell your boss that you deserve equal treatment as those doing the same work as you. 

Tell your family that they need to put their differences aside. 

Because life is too short and relationships, no matter who they may be with, are everything.

I get it- you’ve been through some shit. I’ve had difficulties in my life as well. We all have.

The difference between you and I is that I have accepted and admit my decisions. What I’ve been through has shaped me into who I am today. 

I would never pretend anything, whether it be negative or positive, didn’t happen.

Moving on and leaving your past in the past is perfectly acceptable. It’s absolutely fine to not want to talk about it. Using it as an excuse, however, is probably not going to score you any points in my book.

It’s hard to really understand who you are. One minute you have a certain group of friends.

Another minute you don’t ever want kids. The next minute you’re living on Mars. I can’t keep up.

Know who the fuck you are. Be proud of it. Show everyone you meet the real you and make it that same you with every interaction you have.

Changing your life like it’s your wardrobe every six months makes it hard for others to take you seriously. Not just you, but your decisions.

Have pride. Don’t allow others to ever even consider you being a joke.

More importantly, show yourself who you really are. Look in the mirror and say “all this bullshit made me stronger???.

It’s never too late to discover what kind of person you want to be and make it happen. Don’t be ashamed of who you used to date or how you acted at a party six years ago. OWN IT. 

When that drunk douche bag from high school brings it up at the bar in front of 10 people? Laugh about it. 

Remind him it was a long time ago, take a sip of that drink and picture him at that same party acting like the jackass he was.

I have dreaded this day for 9 months. Humanity is such a simple concept. Having respect is such a simple concept. Having equal rights is SUCH a simple concept.

As someone with friends that are trans gendered, minorities and victims of sexual assault I am terrified. Years and years of lives lost in the fight for equal rights have gone down the drain because of 289 electoral votes. People wonder why women don’t come forward to report sexual assault- a man who has double digit cases against him just became the POTUS for Christ’s sake.

Republicans can practice freedom of speech in celebration, but expressing Democrat disappointment makes us “cry babies”. After listening to 8 years of Obama being put down, I think you can survive our day one reaction as we are in complete shock.

I watched Hillary’s final speech and found myself a blubbering mess on my living room floor. I not only cried for my own disappointment, but for the suffrage of all women.

I cried for every single person personally victimized by Donald Trump.

I cried for a dear friend who has been sexually assaulted.

I cried for black men and women who have been suffering for the advantages of white men for hundreds of years.

I cried for suicidal teens who don’t understand why they weren’t born into the bodies that fit them.

This is about so much more than one man. This man represents us as a whole. We are judged as a whole by other nations. I do not want to be known as a country that spews hate and is rewarded for it.

With bloodshot eyes, I am devastated.

I voted in support of the LGBTQ community, minorities and the disabled.

I voted against sexual assault.

Voting for Hillary because she’s a woman may not be a good enough reason to most people- yet voting for Trump because he’s a man is. Disturbing.

I will keep my “I Voted??? sticker with Hillary Clinton’s name written on the back for the rest of my life and someday I will teach my sons that women are more than sexual objects and baby-making machines. I will teach my daughters that they are just as powerful if not more powerful than a man.

The good that I can take from this is finding others that see things the way I do. That is comforting after years of not feeling like you can relate to a mass amount of people only to find that you do.

To those of you who are fellow feminists and truly accepting human beings- thank you. Together we can be the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am woman, hear me roar.

Dear Heroin,

You’re pretty selfish, you know that? I’d like to think you do nothing but take, but there is something you give. You give heartache.

You’ve taken people I care about. You’ve taken many small town’s sense of comfort. And sadly, when you take people, at this point it doesn’t even surprise me. Which is truly disturbing.

What’s even worse it that not enough of an uproar is made about you. 

You deserve news coverage, but when you take a life it’s look at as another dumb kid made a stupid decision.

The blame isn’t even put on you. The blame is put on marijuana for being a “gateway drug???.

The blame isn’t put on the fact that you give a feeling like no other. Maybe you like the fact that someone will put you before anything else. 

Friends, family, a relationship. The fact that a guy will choose you over a girl that would’ve died for him. You make him willing to die for you instead.

Someone who was once the life of the party ends up dying in a hospital bed after an overdose, while a girl who loved him more than anything holds his hand. 

And then this girl is left alone in a cold room and expected to continue on? Pretty twisted.

I hope you know that one day no one’s going to give a fuck about you anymore. No one’s going to ask for you. 

No one’s going to talk about you. And if they do, they’ll talk about you as a pathetic thing of the past that people were finally done giving a shit about.

Sincerely,

A girl from a small town that’s done attending funerals due to your bullshit.

I’ll be the first to admit that my social life throughout high school was, well, slim. I was the definition of an introvert. On the weekends my idea of a good time was staying up until all hours of the night on the computer and sleeping in until noon. And I loved it.

Or so I thought…until I befriended a girl who loved to party. Who dated a guy who loved to party. Who had a group of close-knit friends who loved to party.

And before I knew it, I was the party girl. At 19 years old I spent every single Friday and Saturday night (with some weeknights in between) taking shots of anything and everything and owning the beer pong table. I became a crucial member of that friend group and had had the social life I had always longed for.

When I turned 21, shit got real. Being able to go to bars opened up a whole new world for me. I reconnected with people from school who never ceased to point out how different I was. Guys hit on me who were either cruel to me in the past, or didn’t bother with me whatsoever.

All of a sudden when I didn’t show up to parties or Thursday night karaoke, people noticed.

Drinking, in some twisted way, made me comfortable. Made me confident. I could talk to anybody about anything. Drinking sort of made me the greatest con artist.

Family events, weddings, you name it. One glass of wine and I go from an anxious girl to one hell of a social butterfly of a woman.

And that’s literally all it takes- one glass. I think some people get carried away with how they feel in the beginning of drinking and take it to a whole other level (which, don’t get me wrong, happened to me countless times when I first started drinking).

I had to learn the difference between drinking to come out of my shell and drinking to become drunk.

My party years opened up so many doors for me socially. I’m convinced I’d still be a hermit with a very limited number of people I could honestly call friends.

Needless to say, drinking can turn into a nightmare. You can get hooked on that feeling of adrenaline you get after that first shot. It takes a hell of a lot of self control to keep yourself on a level that’s widely acceptable. And to not make a complete ass out of yourself.

It comes down to knowing and trusting yourself. I’ve come a long way from being “the party girl” to maybe having a glass of wine with dinner on the weekend. But one thing I cannot deny is that drinking alcohol has not only contributed, but is responsible for the social circle I have 7 years later. Thanks vodka and sprite, you the real MVP.

When you’re usually the girl whose super friendly and full of smiles and one day you’re not, it seems to be a big fucking deal for other people. 

Like something horrible must’ve happened that, god forbid, I don’t have a smile on my face.

You’re allowed to literally just wake up in a bad mood. You don’t have to force yourself to put up a front for others.

I suffered from social anxiety when I was little and being overwhelmed with people at family events was pretty much the end of the world to me. 

I would walk in and instantly be so uncomfortable. 

After hours of being overwhelmed with everyone’s energy, I’d become extremely sensitive and emotional. Which would come off bratty. 

The sad part was that I was looked at in that way when I had had enough and could not help it.

When my confidence went up in high school my anxiety got way better. And after high school, anxiety was a thing of the past and confidence was through the roof.

Which is all sunshine and roses util that backfires. 

When people expect you to be always be 100% and suddenly you’re not, they judge. They wonder what’s wrong with you, but not in a concerned way. More like your bad mood is an inconvenience to them. 

Not that I’m ever rude in any way, I simply get quiet. Which is against the rules I guess?!?!

Being told to smile is a huge pet peeve of mine. If I wanted to smile, I’d have a fucking smile on my face. 

It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. If anything, I’m thinking super hard about something. Thanks for asking if I’m okay, but if I respond that I am then leave it the hell alone. Because bugging me only makes me not okay.

You don’t have to show up to every event with a grin painted across your face. You don’t have to force yourself to go to things that you don’t want to when you know it’ll only bring you discomfort. 

You don’t have to do anything for the approval of other’s. If you are judged in a negative way because you were having an off day once, then the people judging you are the problem.

Everyone deals with things in their own way. 

Cancelling plans at the last minute may seem inconsiderate to one person, but to the other person it could mean the difference between a quiet night at home or an anxiety attack.

Friends is the single greatest television show of all time… and you might catch me in a heated argument with anyone who disagrees…

Here are some quotes from a show that may have ended 12 years ago, but even generations to come can totally relate to:

“How you doin'?”- Joey

“Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!”– Monica

“Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!”- Monica

“Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.”- Phoebe

“It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”- Joey

“You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.” – Ross

“Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.”- Joey

“I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”- Chandler

“Isn’t that just kick you in the crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”- Rachel

“Oh, I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?”- Rachel

“That sandwich was the only good thing in my life!”- Ross

“I have to go before I put your head through a wall.”- Phoebe

“I’m gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke.”- Chandler

“Let me think, let me think. Oh, I don’t care.”- Chandler

“I really think I might kill someone tonight.”- Monica

“Well the fridge broke so I had to eat everything.”- Joey

“That’s okay, girls tend to not like me.”- Rachel

“Your love is like a giant pigeon crapping on my heart.”- Phoebe

“And remember, if I’m harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.”- Monica

“You look good. I hate that.”- Ross

“I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner. I rarely practice my meals before I eat.”- Chandler

“I just shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore.”- Rachel

“You just said a bunch of stuff I don’t know.”- Joey

“I say more dumb things before 9 A.M. than most people do all day.”- Chandler

“I can hear the voices in my head again.”- Phoebe

“You didn’t sit on my Kit Kats did you?”- Monica

“WE WERE ON A BREAK!”- Ross

“I’m curvy and I like it!”- Joey

“If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.”- Phoebe

“Let her know I like her? Are you insane?”- Chandler