Author: Courtney Hype

It sounds like the most rad stay-at-home job. Reading, writing, no boss, complete freedom.

But realistically, it is not all that it is cracked up to be.

1. Writer's block is a real life problem. And it is the very worst of ours. You can't force yourself to do something you don't even know how to proceed with. You can only hope that inspiration will hit before your deadline does.

2. Sitting down to write sometimes causes our brains to completely shut down. Even when we do have a brilliant idea, the act of putting it on paper is enough to wipe our minds clean of any thought process we had going.

What do you word? How is a sentence? 

3. When your habitat is disturbed, it is impossible to get any work done. For example, my office is on my patio which is undergoing some extreme renovations. The noise is deafening, there is dust and debris falling into my coffee cup, the construction workers watch me so there is very little privacy. It makes it hard to concentrate.

We develop a cozy environment in which we are most comfortable writing. It takes a while to get into the groove of writing elsewhere.

4. The only person who can motivate you to get anything done is yourself. Our job is to directly translate the thoughts from our minds. We are literally creating things in our head. No one else can make us do that. 

We have to choose to stay focused instead of giving in to the temptation of irresponsibility. (*cough* Netflix *cough*)

5. We don't have enough backburners for all of our projects. Many of us do more than one thing when it comes to writing. We have to focus on the pieces for our actual job. Then we try to make time for our poetry or novels. And then we have to maintain a positive social media presence in order to drive traffic and get noticed.

It is a balancing act that very few of us have learned to master.

6. Our browser history is questionable. It varies from "ways to dispose of a body" to "do you spell potato with an e?" We are constantly researching, reading, and fact checking. And the FBI is probably watching us.

7. We worry about biting someone else's work. Of course, we would never do it intentionally. But how many original ideas are really left out there? We write of love and loss and pray that our voice is unique enough to stand out among the rest.

8. This isn't a 9-5 career. If only we were paid hourly. Some days, we put in 8 hours. Some days, we put in 18 hours. Not to mention, writing isn't the only requirement. We have to read as much as we write, or we fall behind the curve.

9. The entire process is exhausting. Filtering through thousands of words is mentally exhausting. Typing 40+ hours a week is exhausting. Multiple drafts of the same freakin' story are exhausting. Editing, re-editing, and then editing again is exhausting.

10. There is no instant gratification. Sometimes, there isn't any gratification at all. Writing is time-consuming in itself, so the payout is even longer.

Unfortunately, hardly anyone buys books anymore. People don't read like they used to. They don't support their local writers like they would their local sports team. A lot of writers are forced to drop their dreams and find one of those 9 to 5s.

11. We are our biggest critic. Find me the writer than can say they are 100% happy with their work. I'd really like to meet them.

Until then, we'll be second guessing what the hell we think we are doing with our lives.

12. Regret. A lot of regrets. I always read back through my work and wish I would have done things differently. There is nothing more annoying than that one little typo that we can't take back.

13. And at times, we are our own biggest fan, too. Because deep down we know that our words touch people. Even if only one person is affected positively by our stories, we have done our jobs.

 Find all of my work in one place on Facebook.

Alright, so maybe you don't talk to mice or ride around in a glorified pumpkin. You definitely don't scramble up flights of stairs in glass heels. But you do clean. And you probably enjoy doing it.

Gender role arguments aside, I love to clean. Not because I am a woman, but because I am damn good at it.

If this sounds like you, Cinderella might not even cut it. You are the Queen of the household, and you are totally rocking it.

1. You know how to fold a fitted sheet. Literally, the easiest thing if you sit down and actually learn how to do it. Master this technique and you have a marketable trait that you could totally put on your resume.

2. You have a routine. Clean the kitchen before bed. Laundry on Wednesday and Sunday. Deep clean on Monday. Sometimes, you run on autopilot and don't even realize you are cleaning until you are putting the chemicals away. Whatever you are doing, it is really working for you.

3. You are constantly rearranging. Maybe not the furniture itself, but you find better homes for things all the time. The bowls could fit better here, the drinks should go on the bottom shelf, etc.

4. The mental anguish of running out of 409. Or your cleaner of choice. When your go-to solution is empty, the world comes to a crashing halt. How do you go about your day when it revolves around a spray bottle?

5. You clean some things multiple times a day. Wipe the counter. Rewipe the counter. Repeat before and after every meal.

6. You prefer slippers over heels. And sweats over ridiculous ball gowns.

7. You cook by taste now. Cooking is part of the housewife life and you are a boss in the kitchen. You never measure out your butter or seasoning anymore. Your recipes rarely taste the same way twice, but they are delicious regardless.

8. There is that one chore that you absolutely despise doing. You probably have that one chair specifically for clean clothes because they sure the hell won't hang themselves. 

9. That moment you realize all of the cleaning rags have been washed. And you are thrilled to be able to clean to your fullest capabilities again.

10. You don't ask for help. Because if you don't do it your way, it won't be done right.

11. You spend your down time doing all of the things that make you happy. Some of us get jobs. Some of us take up a hobby. Some of us watch Netflix for 12 hours straight. No judgment here. You are a domestic goddess. You have earned it.

12. But sometimes you get bored. And you start making dinner early, just so you have something to do for a while.

13. The feeling you get at the end of the day. When you have finished everything you set out to do and you can just kick back for the rest of the day. There is nothing quite like the overwhelming satisfaction of having a clean home.

If you enjoyed this, find more articles like it on my Facebook page!

I've watched you grow from a football head little boy to a dashing young man. You're a man now, but I will always be fiercely protective over you. That is why I am going to give it to you straight.

I know you've just had your heart broken and despite that 'tough guy' exterior, I know you're hurting. I've been there myself. 

Don't think I'm urging you to just "move on" and "get over it." You need time to mourn and process the end of your relationship. 

Until you are ready, nothing I say or do will make you feel any better.

If I was home, I would take you to the store and buy you all of the munchies you could possibly want. We would stay up late and watch That 70's Show like the good old days. You wouldn't say anything. But I like to think you'd be comforted by my presence.

But I'm not there anymore and I'm sorry.

You are one upstanding gentleman. I am so proud of the man you have become. 

You are intelligent, you are handsome, you are thoughtful, you are caring, you are wicked cool. You are all of the things I hoped you would grow up being.

And because of all these things, you met a girl and fell in love. 

We've been through this before. The anger, the hurt, the guilt. A girl broke your heart for the very first time. 

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, that heartbreak lessens.

But, it's never going to be any less painful. You just learn to manage the pain better or prevent it from happening at all.

For now, I want you to focus on you. You are so young. Please. 

Finish school. Get a job. Buy a car. Rent your first apartment and decorate it with all of the things that you love. Live for you. Make your life your own and don't let anyone into your heart until you're ready.

Because that feeling that you feel right now, the one deep in your chest, the feeling that something is missing? You will experience it again. And it is going to be worse.

When the time comes that it does happen again, just remember this; You didn't fail her. She failed you.

Don't forget, I am always just a text or phone call away.

I love you, little brother.

Listen up, salty bitches!

Typically, this is where I would thank you for helping make me who I am today or whatever. But is that really true? 

Can I give you credit for being the unbelievably awesome person I am today? No, I didn't think so. 

The most I can thank you for is giving me the ability to resist stooping down to your level.

You mean nothing to me. You are the gum beneath a lunch table. The backwash in the bottom of a glass. The scum between my toes.  There is nothing you can say or do to make yourself any less relevant than you are right now.

But I am not here to berate you. I won't wish bad things on you and your first born child. I'm just saying that if you disappeared off of the face of the Earth, I wouldn't even blink.

That is why I don't give a fuck what you think about me. I am an asshole on social media, point blank.

And let's be honest, you are one of three kinds of people; an ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend who literally stalks my every move, a disgruntled fuckboy, or a stranger. 

You may not be following me, but you sure the hell have me bookmarked. You see what I allow you to see. You read what I allow you to read.

Outside of that, you know nothing. You are victim to the grapevine and I pity you. The vicious "he said/she said" rumor mill designed to make people hate each other. 

Why are you stuck in your high school bully phase?

Ask anyone who actually knows me in real life if they share the same opinion as you. They can be the ones to justify all the ways in which I am awesome. 

Your words are a waste of oxygen and your perception of me is the last thing I am worried about.

And I am sorry if that perception has caused you to realize your own shortcomings. Maybe hating me will encourage you to try to be better. 

I know, it is incredibly difficult to fill my shoes when I already look so fabulous in them.

I won't apologize for who I am. I am a bitch. I cuss. I drink. I smoke. I might even be a little crazy. But I am not ashamed because those qualities do not determine who I am as a whole.

There will always be one of you, somewhere. You might disagree with the things I do or think or write. You might even hate me. Maybe you should focus on yourself, instead of losing sleep over me.

Your fixation is getting you nowhere while I watch you from the top.

If you liked this letter, follow Courtney on Facebook to read others like it.

Want to give your S.O. a Valentine's Day that they will never forget? If you have the guts to face the elements and a wallet to foot the bill, try these eccentric date ideas this year.

1. Take a class together. Get out of your element and try something new for both of you. There are many options available, from dance lessons to pottery classes (Ghost, anyone?).

2. Name a star. Surprise your sweetie with this unique gift. After you purchase one, buy a telescope and leave the city. Spend the night searching for that star together.

3. Go on a hot air balloon ride. This definitely isn't cheap, but who could ever forget being that high in the sky on a date?

4. Rent a cabin. If you do a little bit of research, you can find cabins that go for the same amount per night as a 3-star hotel room. For about $50 a night, you could buy you and your significant other some much-valued privacy.

5. Hop in the car and take a miniature road trip. To the cabin! Or maybe even the beach. Just drive to another city. Don't make a plan. Be spontaneous. Get a skeevy motel room (pack your sheets!) and just enjoy the luxury of being away together.

6. Get on the water! Yes, it is going to be cold. Bundle up and take advantage of the empty water if possible. Many places have kayaks and paddleboats for rent.

7. Paint and pinot! While there are classes that offer these, it is just as fun to do it at home! Buy a couple canvases and a bottle(s) of wine. Pick a painting to recreate and have fun doing it together.

8. Make a time capsule. This is a good one for the more serious couples. Get a mason jar (or some alternative) and fill it with different items. These can range from personal possessions, love notes, ticket stubs, or your favorite recipes. Just stuff it full of things that remind you of each other and the relationship itself. Open it next Valentine's day to relive those memories all over again.

9. Go on a ghost hunt! There are a ton of places that do individual tours or you could poke around a graveyard at night. While it isn't exactly romantic, it is sure to bring you closer as a couple.

10. See a fortune teller. It is always interesting to hear how someone else would predict your future. Alternatively, you could get your palms read or have a tarot card reading. Don't take it too seriously, though.

11. Participate in a bar crawl. These are especially fun to do with your S.O. Your town might even have an official event organized. Get a drink at every bar you walk to. Maybe you'll find a new spot together. A quick google search will bring up any events that may be happening near you.

12. For the classier folks, go to a wine tasting event. Bar crawls aren't for everyone. If you are looking for something more elegant, visit your local winery. Feast on the cute little hors d'oeuvres and introduce your taste buds to beverages you may never try otherwise.

13. Ditch the technology. Plan your day around leaving your phone at home. No checking in, no selfies. Just a solid block of time to spend with your Valentine. This is a great opportunity to go camping. Cuddle up next to the fire and enjoy the silence, together.

These aren't the least costly of activities, but they are sure to provide an unforgettable memory. Bundle up and have fun!

If you enjoyed this article, check out more of the author's work on Facebook.

Valentine's Day is approaching quickly. If you are tight on funds or you are lucky enough to have a low maintenance partner, try some of these inexpensive date ideas this year.

1. Go Outside. And it doesn't even cost a penny. There are a ton of inexpensive things to do once you are out there. You could have a picnic, take a hike, go to a park, have a picnic, or watch the sunset. You could make a whole day of it. Estimated cost: $0.

2. Cook together. My husband and I like to find recipes we've never made before, but you could also take this opportunity to teach your S.O. how to make your favorite meal and vice versa. There is a certain intimacy that comes with rubbing elbows with your sweetie in the kitchen. Estimated cost: That is entirely up to you.

3. Have a movie night. Go to the dollar store together and pick out some of your favorite snacks. Then grab a cheap pizza and a few movies. Netflix is a good alternative if your city no longer offers video rental stores. Estimated cost: Less than $15.

4. Make each other home-made cards. You could get fancy with the construction paper and glitter or just opt for a sheet of printer paper folded in half. Regardless of how you do it, you are both left with a sweet memento. Estimated cost: .05 – $5.

5. Share the love and volunteer. There is always an animal shelter or soup kitchen looking for help. Find a place to volunteer your time together. You'll both feel good about helping others in need. Estimated cost: Free!

6. Get dressed up for a "selfie" date. So maybe you don't have the money to go somewhere fancy. But who needs to know that? Dress to the nines and have a little photoshoot. You could even go to the park for a nicer background. At the end of the day, you will have a ton of great pictures of you and your loved one. Estimated cost: $0.

7. Celebrate earlier in the day. Breakfast is usually cheaper than dinner. Matinee showings at the theater are significantly cheaper as well. If you are working with a budget, adjusting your plans to an earlier time can save quite a bit of money. Estimated cost: Less than $40.

8. Take advantage of happy hour! Two for ones, anyone? Your local bar is sure to be running some kind of deal. If you get lucky, they might even have a pool table. Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. Estimated cost: The more you drink, the more you spend.

9. Go antique shopping or hit up your local thrift store. You can window shop or pick out a project to work together on, like that cute side table that needs to be sanded and repainted. Or you can get creative with it. Take a 20 and split it, challenging the other to find something within a certain theme. (Like silly 1980s date night apparel.) Estimated cost: Set a limit! Think "I'm gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollas in my pocket…"

10. Build a fort. Channel your inner kid again. Build a fort with whatever you have available, whether that be pillows, sheets, or boxes. Bonus points if you can get your TV in there. Spend the night coloring or cuddling, whichever you may prefer. Estimated cost: Free!

11. Play some games. You can have a video game competition with your sweetie or pull out the old board games. You could even play some more risky games such as Truth or Dare, 21 Questions, or Strip Poker. Estimated cost after initial setup: $0!

12. Have a home spa day with each other. Take a bath together, complete with candles and mellow music. Try your hand at giving your partner a nice massage. Enjoy the romantic bliss that this intimacy has to offer. Estimated cost: Free.

13. Explore your city. Grab you partner by the hand and hit the streets!  Check out the low-cost museums, see if there are any local bands playing. There are always interesting things to do in your city once you find where to look. Estimated cost: Keep a few bucks in your pocket, but most of these things are free.

In the end, it isn't about the material stuff you receive or how much your dinner costs. It is the time spent and memories made with the person you chose to make your Valentine.

1. You can't make the perfect significant other, but you can make the perfect pizza. And it would never complain that you are trying to "change" it.

2. Pizza might give you heartburn, but it will never break your heart. Anti Acid pills are easy to find, but the remedy for a broken heart? Not so much.

3. Pizza doesn't tap you on the shoulder when you eat it wrong. You can eat it how you want it. Crust first. Toppings first. With a fork. There really isn't a wrong way to do it.

4. Pizza will never bang your friends while you aren't around. Trust and a sense of security is key to any relationship.

5. Because cheese. I could probably just stop here. 

6. You can't get arrested for eating pizza in public. And it just tastes way better anyways.

7. Pizza won't wake up one day and decide it doesn't love you anymore. Pizza is love, pizza is life. Your pizza is your pizza until you decide to be done with it.

8. Pizza will never judge you. Are you really going to go for the 8th piece? Your S.O. might judge you, but pizza believes in you.

9. Pizza is exactly what it claims to be. Hot, cheesy, full of flavor, fresh, satisfying.

10. And if pizza doesn't meet your expectations, you can get a better one and still keep the first one. Because two is better than one, even if it is not so great.

11. You look forward to pizza's side bitches being in the picture. Hello, wings and cheesy bread.

12. Pizza doesn't eat the last slice of pizza. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't save the last slice for you, anyways?

13. Pizza is always just a phone call away. And it actually delivers.

And for you dirty minded folks out there, here are some of my favorite fan responses!

• Pizza doesn't scream when you bite it.
• Pizza never has a headache.
• You don't need antibiotics when pizza burns you.
• Pizza doesn't need a safe word.
• Pizza doesn't mind being tag teamed.
• Pizza doesn't cry like a little bitch when things get weird.
• Pizza always hits the spot.

If you enjoyed this article, check out some of my other stuff here.

"Money can't buy happiness." We've all heard it. We've all probably scoffed at the words more times than we can count. I know I have.

But it is true. Just hear me out.

I had always been the type girl who worked my ass off to provide in my relationships. I would struggle to make rent by myself when I had a more than capable partner. I would be the only one making sure we were eating and that the utilities stayed on. I worked multiple jobs to stay afloat until I just couldn't deal with the stress anymore.

Why would I want to be with someone who willingly watches me struggle to take care of everyone else around me? So I left and vowed that I would never be in another relationship with someone who had a poor track record in the employment field. I began to focus on myself and my own financial well-being.

While understanding how important my standards were, I stumbled into something that might be as bad, if not worse.

I met a man who had a great career and for some reason, he wanted to keep me in his life. Yes, he literally asked if he could "keep me."  Long story short, we eventually got married. I wish I had recognized the warning signs prior, but as they say, love is blind.

Many times he used the phrase, "I need to take care of you so you can take care of me." So from the beginning, he established that he would be the dominant provider. He worked very hard to show me that money wasn't an issue. He had firsthand knowledge of my previous situation and knew that my stress was holding me back. He bailed me out of jail when my family couldn't. He would pay my bar tabs behind my back. And then he really stepped up. He bought me a car. We eloped and moved to California shortly after.

For the first time in a relationship, I had the freedom to stop working and pursue my pipedream. He believed in my writing aspirations and gave me the opportunity to focus. My only responsibilities were to tend to my husband and do things that make me happy. 

Even after we tied the knot, I didn't ask for much. I never requested money or material things. I was just appreciative to have a roof over my head and food in my belly without having to stress about how bills were going to get paid.

Things were great. Until he started fucking up and I began noticing a pattern. He would do something stupid or hurtful, then buy me lavish gifts instead of communicating and apologizing.

He would just give me money when I was sad. He bought a better laptop for me to work from. He would buy me insane amounts of video game stuff to distract me. Little things that I wouldn't be able to do for myself without causing unnecessary stress.

I really appreciated it. Until the last time. He fucked up big time and as atonement, he bought me a brand new car. The moment I sat in the driver's seat of my 2016 with about 20 miles on it, I had an epiphany.

This doesn't change anything. I have a fancy car, a fancy phone, and a fancy laptop. I usually get what I want when I want it. I live in a really nice apartment surrounded by really nice things. I don't have a care in the world. I am the definition of a spoiled housewife.

So why am I so unhappy?

Because money really doesn't buy true happiness. Maybe temporarily, but gifts and material objects do nothing for my soul. I still go to bed mourning a failing relationship. I still miss my family every day. I still battle with my demons. I am still overwhelmingly sad.

Money doesn't compensate for lack of attention or effort. It doesn't hold you together when you feel like you are falling apart. Money could never right a wrong.

I crave so much more than money can buy. I require love and trust. I want to be appreciated and supported, not bought. I want dates and romance and quality time. While I appreciate everything my husband has done for me, I know that there is something missing.

Next time you see a woman who seems to have it all, don't assume she is happy. Instead of thinking "oh, it must be nice," imagine what she has sacrificed to be where she is. I've known struggle and I've known the plush life.

Believe me when I say, happiness is not bought.

For more of Courtney's work, find her on Facebook here.