So far my twenties have been about 90% cringe worthy and 10% average.  I wish I had a time machine that could take me back so that I could slap me in the back of the head and talk some sense into my naive little brain.

But despite all the things I wish I could undo, there are many lessons and mantras I’ve learned in my 20’s that have transformed me into the girl I am today and will help guide me into the person I will become. 

1. Know that feelings and emotions suck but they won’t kill you.

And one day, they too will pass. Don’t dwell too much on those feelings. Don’t slow down because you’re overwhelmed with emotions. And for the love of everything, do not act on those feelings or you’ll end up in regrets-ville.

2. Always, always, always have a backup plan.

If you have a dream, follow it. But life happens (and not at all the way we expect it to), and here I am, figuring out plan B as I go because I only prepared to follow one path.

3. Pick your battles wisely.

Fights with friends and boyfriends are almost always not worth it. None of it matters in the long run, so just enjoy yourself. Let shit go and live it up. 

4. Oh, that person is toxic as hell? Cut them out. 

The people who will bring out the worst in us, the ones who make us feel like trash, the ones we hate being around. Shed those people, no matter who they are or how long you’ve known them. I’ve wasted too much time and energy trying to find a middle ground with toxic people in my life when all I had to do was shut my mouth and wave buh-bye!

5. Jealous and catty behaviors will get you nowhere. 

Most girls have had their share of ‘Mean Girls’ moments. Even I fell into those behaviors from time to time. Saying mean things, spreading rumors, or putting others down is just not my cup of tea. It’s much better to uplift others instead of tearing them down. 

6. Stand up for what your gut is telling you.

If you have those moments where you know you’re right and someone else is doing something wrong, say something. Never be afraid to speak up, your words truly matter.  

7. Practice patience and mindfulness. 

I was neither of those things when I was younger (as much as I thought I was) and in hindsight it made me a relatively selfish person. Teach yourself how to take a deep breath and pause, it’ll get you far in life. 

8. Don’t let anyone else determine your life. 

Everyone was always telling me how to live my life. I listened because I thought those people knew more than me. I missed out on so many opportunities because this person or that person wanted me to do something different. Never again. I do me, and if anyone can’t handle that, they can GTFO. 

9. Being in a relationship means you need to accept that they’ll change. 

I used to get so upset with friends or boyfriends when they changed, feeling betrayed that they weren’t the same after time. But people do change, me included, and I can’t take it personally. I’ve become aware of this and have since chosen to accept and embrace these changes rather than fight them.

10. Create unbreakable bonds with your girlfriends. 

I always made sure to focus on the ones who stuck around when times weren’t so easy. The ones who texted and called when they knew I needed it. Anyone else was just extra and unnecessary in my life. 

11. No one is worth compromising yourself over. 

Ever. Doesn’t matter if it’s family, partners, or friends. Stay true to you, no matter what and never let anyone get in the way.  

12. Love deeply, kind, and peacefully. 

I laugh at what I used to think I knew what love was. Love is more than passion. Love is more than grand gestures. No, it is much more than all of that, and is far more evident in the little things.

You can’t undo your twenties so live your best life.

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Everyone’s heard it before, relationships take work. You and your partner are committed to one another to build up and maintain trust, communication, and friendship. 

As much as we try to always agree and have an amazing time with our partners, fights will come up from time to time.

When it comes to fights, it’s important to distinguish the difference between healthy fights and unhealthy fights. When it comes to fighting with your partner, it’s not important that you’re fighting with your partner, but how you fight with your partner. 

Healthy fights address the conflict in a respectful manner, both sides are heard, and a resolution is made. Both you and your partner learn from the disagreement and carry on, sometimes stronger than before. 

Unhealthy fighting, however, will destroy the relationship. When fighting with your partner, avoid these unhealthy blows or risk losing your partner:

1. Don’t hold the relationship hostage when not getting your way. When fighting with your partner, it’s easy to threaten them into choosing between surrendering and agreeing with you or separating. Ultimatums are a means of control over your partner during a fight and solve nothing.

2. Don’t bring previous disagreements into your current fight. If a previous fight with your partner has been resolved, bringing it up will only make the current fight worse. Keep the doors of the past closed and focus on resolving your current issue. 

3. Never fight with your partner through text messages. Tone can’t be understood through texts, things will be misunderstood, and issues will escalate quickly, causing even more issues. Just wait until the two of you can sit together in the same room and rationally work through the issues.

4. Avoid name-calling at all cost. When fighting with your partner, it’s very tempting to want to call them a nasty name. Name-calling is intended to deliberately hurt your partner in a fight and will not help with the current issue but worsen it or cause further issues.

5. Don’t exaggerate anything. Exaggerating is a means of making you seem more right than your partner. As much as we want to be the “right one” in a fight, remember that it’s more important to work with our partner to find a resolution. 

6. Keep others out of a fight between you and your partner. It’s okay to turn to someone as a means of gaining advice. But badmouthing your partner or presenting one-sided arguments only serves the purpose of gaining momentum through numbers. More importantly, it’s nobody else’s business.

7. Don’t determine what your partner can and cannot do as a result of a fight. Forcing your partner to sleep on the couch, leave the house, or withholding things has nothing to do with the issues and will introduce resentful feelings not associated with the current fight.

8. Don’t hold onto things while fighting with your partner. Holding onto issues will only cause the fight to continue to circle back. You’re not always going like what your partner has to say, but you absolutely need to move forward if you want to come to a resolution.  

9. Never question your love or commitment to your partner during a fight. Saying things like “I don’t know why I love you” or “Why do I bother being in this relationship” diverts from the current issues and threatens the relationship. 

10. Avoid using harsh words against your partner or your relationship during a fight. As much as we'd like to say whatever is on our mind, it's important to remember that those words won't go away. Pick your words respectfully. 

Fights will come up from time to time in any relationship. When fights pop up, it’s important to remember to love and respect each other, no matter what.

Cats in recent years have grown in popularity and former closet cat ladies can come out and openly admit their love (er, obsession) for their four-legged whiskered friends. Que celebratory dancing!

Cat ladies have always been looked down on as being lonely, crazy, and destined for a life of of single sadness. But people are starting to look at cat ladies in a completely different light, and now it is our time to shine! Suddenly being a cat lady is an attractive quality in the dating world, and we are super okay with that!

Besides, cat ladies are the best girls to date and here's why:

1. Cat ladies love unconditionally. Cats can be assholes at times, but a cat lady will still love them. When you date a cat lady, she will always love you, even in bad moments.

2. Cat ladies are all about that food life! They learn from their feline friends that food is life, period.

3. Cat ladies have extreme patience. They’re used to their kitties suddenly having a burst of energy, run around like a nut, knock things over, chew of their hair, run into walls… They know that this, too, shall pass and they wait. 

4. Snuggles! When you date a cat lady, she will be the best snuggler. After all, she learns from the best snugglers in the world, her cats!

5. When you date a cat lady, she will instinctively scratch your back and head all the time. She’s always reaching for her fuzzy kitty when watching a movie and chilling out. It’s in her nature.

6. Cat ladies know when to respect your need for space. After all, she’s used to her kitties demanding her attention one moment, then f**king off the next. No hard feelings there.

7. Cat ladies know how to commit. She’s dedicated her life to taking care of this critter no matter what (I repeat, no matter what!) so she knows the value of always being there.

8. Cat ladies have HUGE hearts and act on it. Most cat ladies rescued their kitties after one of them reached out its little paw from the cage or after finding some poor kitten abandoned on the street. You can bet she’ll always take care of you!

9. Cat ladies are extremely playful (MEOW!)!

10. Cat ladies will always give you the attention you need when you need it. They’re conditioned to stop everything and give their kitties attention right meow!  

11. Cat ladies are super easy to please. Oh, it’s her birthday? Get a cat lady anything with a cat on it and she will just absolutely love it! Is she feeling sad? Just say the word ‘cat.’ 

12. Cat ladies will always tell it like it is, just like their feline companions. Cats don’t hide their feelings, and neither will a cat lady. 

13. Cat ladies can appreciate when enough is enough. One belly pet? Okay. Two belly pets? Good. Three belly pets? Too much, too much, I will kill you if you continue further! Cat ladies appreciate and respect that.

14. Cat ladies know how to share (and very generously). They’re used to their kitties just coming and taking what they want, so they’ll just flat out share everything with everyone rather that fight about it. 

15. Cat ladies will spoil you rotten! She’s always thinking about her kitty and always buying things that will make her feline purr!

16. Cat ladies have an excellent sense of humor. Between cat jokes and puns, laughing over a silly thing her cat did, or making her cat do something funny, she knows how to always laugh.

17. Cat ladies will have no problem helping you out at odd hours of the night and not question it. They’re usually woken up at 4AM anyway to fill the food bowl that wasn’t even empty to begin with.

18. Cat ladies can handle all your moods. Happy mood? Yay! Sad mood? Oh no, would food make it better? Biting mood? Ouchie, that hurt but I still love you.

19. Cat ladies appreciate the little things in life. She will always be filled with pure joy at something as little as the sight of her favorite kitty friend!

20. Cat ladies love covering their loves with kisses! Even if you and her kitties don’t want her kisses and push her face away, she’s still got them for you!

21. Cat ladies can handle gross. Her cats are always barfing wherever they feel like (bonus when she steps in it and it squishes in her toes), she scoops their poo with a little shovel, or she’s presented with dead animal gifts. Sure it’s gross, but she can look past it all!

22. Cat ladies will be excited just by your presence. She’s always excited when she comes home and there’s her little fuzzy kitty, waiting for her looking just oh so cute!

23. Cat ladies are not materialistic. But this is likely due to the fact that anything she owns will likely become the property of her cat anyway, so why bother caring about things to begin with?

24. Cat ladies have more love to give than any other girl out there, and there is always room in her heart for more love to grow! After all, she may have to love five… six…. ten kitties one day (and she will love them all equally)!

Life isn’t going to always happen the way we want it to and may leave you feeling physically and mentally destroyed. 

Maybe you got dumped by that guy you really liked. Maybe you got fired from a job despite putting in your best efforts. Maybe someone you deeply care about passed away. 

Depression, anxiety, self-pity, fatigue, and isolation are all completely normal. These experiences are upsetting and make you feel powerless over your own life. You tried everything, yet in the end you feel like you lost.  

While it’s okay, and healthy, to spend a few days surrendering to these feelings, at some point you’ll need to pick yourself back up and throw yourself back in the game. 

Of course it’s not going to happen overnight. Getting from a place of feeling defeated to a place where you’re thriving again will be a journey and require many small and big steps.

1. Wake up, wash that face, and put on something that makes you feel good. It may seem insignificant, but taking a few moments to get dressed and freshen up will boost some confidence.

2. Don’t coop yourself up too much. Sure, you’ll want to spend all of your time wallowing in your own pity from the dark crevices of your blankets, but over time this isn’t healthy. Get up and get out. Enjoy some fresh air and some sunshine, it’ll do you some much needed goodness.

3. Eat something healthy. What we put into our bodies definitely helps how we feel, so put down those chips and ice cream and grab some hummus, salad, or veggie stir fry to bring some positive energy. 

4. Get some exercise. Go for a walk, take a kickboxing class at the gym, swim some laps, or go for a hike. Whatever you do, showing some body love is a great way to release natural endorphins that make you feel, well, happier and release energy in a healthy way. Bonus, you may get a great booty out of it. 

5. Spend time with people who bring out the best in you. Grab coffee with that girlfriend who always encourages you. Maybe spend time with family that always wants the best for you. Avoid people who bring you down or constantly remind you of what you’re dealing with, you don’t need that kind of negativity in you life. 

6. Divert your thoughts. This can prove to be difficult, but with practice, could be very effective. Every time you catch yourself thinking about what’s hurting you, choose to think about something else. Anything. Just get those thoughts out of your head. 

7. Focus on the positives about the situation. Find reasons that this could be a good situation rather than focusing on how hurt you are. When you focus on the good, it’ll make it easier to move on, if not excited for the next step. 

8. Remember that just because it happened, it doesn’t make you a failure or a bad person. There are many elements that lead to devastating situations and they aren’t all because you’re a bad person, as much as it may feel like it. You are good and have a lot to offer. 

9. Realize that maybe this just wasn’t meant to be for you. Many people believe that things happen for a reason and we need to trust that something better is coming.

10. Take everyday one step at a time. Healing is a process that takes time. Every day that you make progress towards healing is a good day. But some days will have better progress than others, and that’s okay.

11. Deep breaths. It sounds silly, but taking deep breaths can be extremely powerful. One moment, you’re doing great, then suddenly you feel like you’re losing control. Stop and take some deep breaths. Suddenly you’ll regain control over your thoughts and emotions.

12. Don’t be afraid of the pain. The only way the pain will leave us is if it flows through us. Every time you confront that pain and feel it, it loses intensity. It won’t be fun and at times will feel unbearable, but trust that you’ll find great relief on the other side. 

13. Remember that what’s happening won’t last forever. When you’re confronting your emotions and figure out what’s you’re going to do, it’s easy to imagine feeling terrible forever. But you will carry on.

14. Don’t get too discouraged if things don’t work out how you thought they would while working on yourself. As long as you continue to work on yourself and push forward, things will work out. For as many times things don’t work out, remember that there are twice as many opportunities waiting for you to jump on.

15. Is your mind full of too many thoughts at night? Focus on breathing practices or counting in your mind to clear away those negative thoughts and feelings. It will bring some peace to your mind and will help you sleep. The better you sleep, the better you’ll feel. 

16. Try something new. Take a cooking class. Explore someplace you’ve never been to. Visit a museum you’ve been dying to visit forever. Doing something new will get you excited and help you move on from what’s bringing you down.

17. Remember that no matter what, you’ll be okay. You’re dealing with a bad situation and some terrible feelings, but you’ll be fine. In the end, everything will work itself out. 

18. Talk with friends and family that you trust about what happened and how you’re feeling. Getting things out of your mind and off your chest with a good listener will help you move on.

19. Stick to a routine once you get out of your funk. Routine is a great way to maintain control over your life and keep moving forward in the healing process.

20. Hang out with some furry critters. Animals can be very therapeutic and spending some time with a four legged friend could bring about some much needed happiness.

21. Avoid turning to a bottle of wine to help cope with your feelings. As much as we believe alcohol will help us forget our problems, the reality is that alcohol is a downer and will enhance the negative feelings. Plus, your morning self will thank you.

22. This is only one thing stopping you from moving on from your current situation and bad feelings and that's you. You will only move on as much as you're allowing yourself to move on, so try to be positive and have faith that good things are coming.  

23. Think of your current situation as more of a challenge that you need to overcome than a problem you're burdened with. Challenges promote personal growth and make us stronger.

24. Remember that no matter what happens and how you’re feeling that you should always love yourself. You are wonderful and capable, and don’t you ever forget that!  

Having the most amazing best friends is one of the greatest things in the world! Here they are, the people in the world that you happened to cross paths with and immediately forge this unbreakable connection to. Your friends are your ride or die, your tried and true. They’ve been there through the good, the bad, and the mundane.

They make your life a story worth telling, so there are many things you need to thank your best friends for right now! 

1. They support you at your best! There’s no jealous feelings if you got that fantastic promotion or got a date with the super hottie, just genuine happiness. 

2. They’re there for you when you go through your tough times. Whether they’re there so you can go through a vent session, offer advice, or distract you from what’s bringing you down, you know you can always count on them. 

3. No judgment. Ever. They know we all make dumb decisions sometimes in life, and usually, they’re the ones prodding us along to follow through with said decisions. But instead of getting all judgey-Miss-judgy-pants, they’ll laugh along with you and carry on.

4. Unlimited gossip sessions. Because any day is a good day to talk about absolutely everything and everybody while devouring two whole pizzas. And wine, lots of wine. Heck yeah! 

5. Time does not exist. Whether you see each other every day or once a month, it’ll never matter because you and your besties can just pick right back up where you left off.

6. Oh, someone hurt you? That a**hole! If anyone dare hurts you, you can bet your butt that your besties will be there ready to make you feel better.

7. You know how to laugh at each other. Any other person is absolutely not allowed to laugh at you, but your best friends can laugh away and tease you while they’re at it. As much as you don’t want to be laughed at, when it comes from your best friends, it comes with love. 

8. They’ll take you on the perfect dates. Sweetie, you don’t need a partner to go on a good date, just your BFFs! And at the end of the date, there’s no strings attached, no awkward good-night kisses, or weird asking for a second date that you don’t want to go on. 

9. Your house is their’s and their house is yours. What, you’re hungry? Girl, you know where the fridge is! You don’t want to wear pants? It’s not like I haven’t seen whats going on there, take those suckers off if you want!

10. The adventures (or misadventures)! Any time you and your besties set out, there’s bound to be an adventure (or misadventure) awaiting you. And you’ll laugh a lot! And you’ll always remember it and remind each other of how great that day was!

11. The most needed reality checks. Your best friends will tell you how it is when you need to hear it. Even if it hurts, you know they’re telling you because it’s good for you. And you’ll love each other no matter what. 

12. You’ll randomly think of each other and let each other know. Maybe it’s a quick text or a silly picture of your favorite animal. Whatever it is, you and your BFFs will always let each other know when you randomly think of each other. 

13. Your besties will feed into your obsessions (bonus if you have the same obsessions). Your favorite food, your favorite animal, your crush… No matter what it is, they’ll help you get an overload of it whenever they can!

14. You’ll never judge each other for having a messy house. They get it. We all have a pile of clothes chilling in a corner, a sink full of dishes, and random stuff all over. Besties never judge, and may even just help tidy up while they’re over for funsies. Thanks boo!

15. There is no, and never will there be, any shame. Gotta poop in my house? Make sure you Fabreeze the bathroom after. Oh, you farted in front of me. Whatever.

16. You and your besties can share your weird things with each other. You want to lick that guy’s elbow? Yeah, definitely not normal, but you do you. You want to spend an entire day pretending to be a cat? Sure, if that’s what you wanna do. 

17. Sometimes you and your besties will help each other achieve these weird things together. When you’re with them, there is a no judgement zone. 

18. Your BFFs will keep your secrets, no matter what. They are an iron gate. They are a tightly locked vault. 

19. When you’re together with your besties, you can do anything and know it’ll be an amazing time. Brunch? Great! Lazy movie day on the couch? Fantastic! Hitting up some local digs? Awesome! Do your laundry together because it’s boring doing it alone? Heck yeah!

20. You share everything with each other. There is no one out there who does, or likely ever will know you better than your best friends. 

21. You and your besties dream about your future, hypothetical, fantasy lives together. Someday you’re going to own an island full of kittens where you eat sushi all day long. Someday you’ll each die, and you’ll be ghost friends together and scare people.

22. You and your best friends may be alike in many ways, but you’re also so different. But those differences will never matter to you because you care about each other.

23. Inside jokes. So many inside jokes!

24. You and your besties can be completely silly around each other for no reason other than you want to. And they’ll likely join in with you!

25. No matter what, you and your best friends will always love each other. Your bond and connection to each other is unbreakable, and nothing will take that away from you.  

Here's your friend person who you love and care for dearly crying about everything that's wrong and terrible about their partner and the relationship they're in. 

You want to be supportive, so you listen. You try to offer encouraging words or bits of advice. You want to take away all the hurt that fills their heart and fill it with nothing but love and goodness. 

But no matter how supportive you come off as on the surface, there's only one thing you truly want to tell them: Nothing’s gonna change unless you DUMP that idiot loser already!!

There is nothing worse than standing on the sidelines as someone you care about so much loves the wrong person.

Tiffs are going to pop up from time to time in any relationship, no matter how good that relationship is. Everyone will have their differences and sometimes those differences pose a challenge.

And that's fine.

But when your friend reaches out frequently, sobbing over something that a**hole did yet again, it becomes frustrating.

You've asked time and time again, "Why the h*** do you stay with this person if they make you so miserable?! 

And time and time again you hear the same excuses. "Oh, it's not that bad usually." Then why do I hear about this more often than not?

"Every relationship has its problems and we just need to work through this." No, this is not normal! This relationship is toxic sludge and you need to leave now! 

It's okay to need someone to lean on from time to time when it comes to working through relationship issues or just needing someone to listen for a bit. 

But when the need to vent out the negative issues in your relationship becomes frequent, it's time to wake up! When you start making excuses about why these things are happening, it's time to say goodbye. 

For the sake of those who listen to you time and time again, please dump that jerk before someone loses their mind. 

For your sake, get out of that toxic relationship so you can go back to being happy again.

There is not one single person out there who is ever worth being stressed out and unhappy over. 

When the toxic dump starts happening more often than not, when you wish your relationship were different, and when you feel stressed out all the time over your relationship, it's time to say buh-bye!

At one point you hurt me. You took everything that was and could have been and stomped it into the ground until it broke into a million little pieces that could never be put back together. You've betrayed my trust, shattered my loyalty, and broke my desire to ever want you near me again.

To be clear, I've moved on from you. I have no more energy to waste on you.

But I can never forget what you've done.

When your name comes up, an overcoming numbness fills my body.

If you enter the room I am in, I can feel the toxic energy you emit. Your presence is poison to my spirit.

When I see a picture of you, I can see right past your smile and know the ugliness that hides behind your facade.

You've taught me that there are monsters in this world who are ready to take everything from you and will hurt you.

Sure, I was angry and upset when the truth came out. I wanted revenge. I wanted you to hurt as much as you hurt me.

But in the end, you'll be the one suffering while I carry on.

I've built a shield around my heart so you can never enter again. You will never gain from hurting me again because I won't allow you near me.

Everyone now sees you for the ugly person you truly are and knows what you're capable of. They will guard themselves from you as well, leaving you with no one to feed on.

One day you will be alone while I will be living my wonderful and happy life, void of you and the negativity you bring.

Your life is filled with so many lies you can't even keep them straight anymore. No one will ever listen to you or believe a word that falls out of your mouth while I will always hold my head high knowing that I live in truth and honesty.

Your journey is filled with destruction, and I no longer want to follow that path with you because in the end, you will bring down everyone.

When you peel back the layers, inside of you is nothing but a pathetic loser.

You may have fooled me into believing you could have been a good person at one time. You may have shaken my world. But now I've moved passed, learned who you are, and will never forget how toxic and destructive you truly are so that you may never hurt me again.