Author: danielle

Looking for the hidden secrets about retail? I’ve been in retail since I was 16. All through high school, and most of my adult life, I’ve worked in store of some kind, which adds up to about 10 years in retail. Wedding and special occasion dresses. Lingerie. Plus size clothes. Major retailers. Small stores. Niche stores. I’ve pretty much done it all, except sell electronics and cars. Because I know nothing about either. To be honest, I don’t really know that much about dressing myself either, but I can sell you on that adorable dress, matching shoes, and some accent jewelry that will look bomb!! Please don’t ask me to explain that…. So here are some secrets about retail no one tells you about.

1. It’s hard. Like really freaking hard. When selling prom dresses, you sell those babies to momma. You don’t sell them to the itty bitty girl trying it on. She’s not the one paying. And let me ask, how many plus size girls have walked into a store that sells plus size clothes, and been greeted by a girl who would be swimming in even the smallest size the store carries? I’ve had customers be rude and hateful because, according to them, I can’t wear their size clothes so how would I know what looks good on them. Yup. Been told that, had customers ignore me, haggle about prices, and so much more…

2. People like to argue about literally everything. Especially prices. I promise you, there is nothing any retail worker can do about the price of your knock off Coach purse, even though it’s already on sale. We have to make money to support our store and keep our doors open. In some stores, without a coupon, we can’t give you a discount without a manager’s permission. And I’m sorry, I’m more afraid of my manager firing me, then you yelling at me across the counter and making a fool of yourself.

3. Yes. We do talk about you when you leave the store. And sometimes while you are in the store. That’s what sticky notes and printer paper is for. To pass notes. If you are an asshole customer that tries to return $200 worth of merchandise you just paid cash for and get mad when I can’t just hand you that out of my drawer, we will remember you and remind the others of what you did. Don’t be surprised if you get a less than warm greeting, even from someone who may not have been there on that particular day.

On the other hand, if you are a customer who is nice, polite, and understanding, we will be more than happy to strike up a conversation with you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to still help that rude customer with whatever he needs, I’m just going to be unhappy on the inside about it, and probably pitch a fit about them when they leave.

Oh There Are More Secrets…

4. We really don’t mind gossiping and talking to our customers. Most of the time. Sometimes you really do annoy the ever loving crap out of us with your chatter. But we nod and smile in all the right places to be polite. And if I’m not nodding and smiling, I either have to pee and I’m waiting for you to leave, or I don’t realize I have resting bitch face and look like I hate your guts. I promise it’s not intentional! Most of the time…. Sometimes, work is the only adult interaction we get for the day, so we are more than happy to stand here and here all about how little Susie won that award four years ago for the neatest desk in school.

5. We hate selling credit cards. You hate hearing the speech. We hate giving it. But we have to. It’s literally in our job description. And it’s also in there that we have to have you say no three times before we can stop asking. In some places I’ve worked, I was told I would be wrote up if I didn’t do it. And again, I’m more afraid of my boss and losing my job, than listening to you cuss me out for doing my job. (It’s happened.) But trust me, I’ve perfected the spiel I’m giving you about the credit card to take up as little time as possible and get you to say the correct amount of no’s the quickest way possible.

6. If you are in the store a few minutes after closing, we really don’t mind. It’s the people that walk in 10 minutes to close, saying they are just looking, and spend the next 40 minutes wandering aimlessly. You are keeping from all of my closing duties that involve my system. Sure, I can clean around you. I can straighten racks while I attempt to sell you something so this time won’t be wasted. But I can’t count down my drawer in case you want to pay with cash. Can’t settle my credit card machine in case you pay with card. Can’t run my closing reports, because if you decide you want to buy something, it will throw my sales for the entire day off. Especially at the end of the month.

7. Dudes. We really, really, really do feel sorry for you. I know what it’s like to shop with me. It’s hell. I’m picky, I whine when nothing fits right, I really don’t know my size, and I pout for the rest of the day if I can’t find anything. And I know there are worse girls out there than me. So believe it or not, we really do try to have a place for you sit and hang out while your girl is in the fitting room or browsing through the clearance section.

And More Secrets about Retail…

8. Speaking of clearance! Look at this adorable shirt for like a third of the price! No, I don’t have anymore in the back. No, I’m not going to go check. It’s clearance. Meaning it’s probably the last one. Ooooo, what about this full price one that I only have three of on the rack?! Still probably a no, hunny. Everything I have is on the sales floor. Yes, I’m sure. I checked the box in, counted everything, opened every individually wrapped shirt, hung them on hangers, and put them on the floor myself. I know that’s it.

9. The only holiday worse than Black Friday, is the day after Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, Black Friday is hellacious. All the fights over toys, the yelling, the crying… (And that’s just the adults.) But the returns. Hope December was a great month for your store, because it’s all about to go straight down the tubes!! Especially in clothing stores. Grandma didn’t buy the right size. Aunt Maggie bought you this horrid patterned dress. Uncle Ned bought you underwear?! (Hey, anything is possible in retail…) So get ready to deal with every pissed of Joe, Susie, and Marry in your city! Because you bet your ass they will call come one the same day. Most likely one after the other, and will be waiting at the door for you to open!

10. Most of us, though, really do love our job. We love our customers. We make seem like rude, snobbish people sometimes, and we are sorry. But please try to keep in mind that the customer(s) before you, may not have been so great. So that pretty smile on our face might be forced. And the resting bitch face really isn’t intentionally directed at you. It’s just our face after 4 hours of the same bullshit. We really, really do appreciate your business. And we aren’t just saying that to be nice!

 

Like this from Puckermob? Check out I Wish You Were a Better Man. 

I live in a college town. So we have bars galore. I’m talking a whole street devoted to drinking. Because of this, I got all my partying done before I was legal. Don’t do that kids. It’s bad. And makes you old before your time…trust me. 

Because now, I’m a 20-something grandma, and all you others out there know that when our friends drag us out to go bar hopping, drinking, or just out past our established bed time in general, we all share the same struggle.

1. You’re picking me up at what time?!

2. 10? Like PM?

3. That’s almost bedtime….

4. What do you mean I can’t wear this? 

5. Sweatpants are totally appropriate evening wear.

6. Fine…. I’ll change.

7. They call this a dress?!

8. No, this is a long shirt.

9. God, I really hope I don’t run out of time on my DVR.

10. I will not be happy if I miss an episode of my show.

11. Go out they said. It will be fun they said…. 

12. No. I feel old and out of place. 

13. This music is way too loud. 

14. Oh my God I sound like my mother.

15. What…what is she doing to that poor boy?!

16. I feel like I’m violating their privacy. 

17. Maybe they should get a room.

18. Is that supposed to be dancing?!

19. What is she doing on the….

20. No, no, no, she is not about to dance on the bar.

21. She’s gonna fall… Wait for it….

22. I could be at home watching Netflix in my pjs.

23. Would it be weird if I ordered a glass of wine?

24. Probably.

25. Maybe a mixed drink, that sounds better.

26. Wait… It’s how much?!

27. How do people go out?!

28. I could have totally used that for something way more important.

30. I CANNOT fall asleep at the bar.

31. That would look really weird…

32. No, no no, I’m perfectly ok with sitting right here.

33. I can’t dance in heels, I don’t need to be out there on the floor.

34. I can barely even walk in these things.

35. I’m going to fall on my face.

36. How the heck does she move like that?!

37. She’s like liquid. 

38. It feels like my heart is beating out of my chest.

39. Why is the bass so loud?

40. Doesn’t that hurt these kid’s ears?!

41. Ok, I’m just going to step out side for a minute.

42. Just breathe.

43. Did I really act this crazy when I was 21?

44. How long have I been out here?

45. It’s so nice and quiet.

46. I should probably go back in before my friends worry.

47. I really need to learn to tell them no.

48. Especially when it comes to things like this.

49. Ok, maybe they are ready to go home now.

50. The bar closes at what time?

51. No we aren’t staying till then.

52. …..are we?

53. Oh we are.

54. Okay, only 4 more hours, gonna be a long night.

55. I have to pee.

56. Oh god… I remember how gross bar bathrooms were.

57. Maybe they’ve cleaned them up a little!

58. Is….is she puking?!

59. Oh god.

60. Just breathe through your mouth.

61. Now wash your hands really good.

62. Awww I forgot how nice drunk girls are!

63. Why can’t girls be this nice all the time…?

64. Where did my friends go?

65. I lost them.

66. OMG! 

67. I’m going to be stuck here forever.

68. Just kidding they are outside. 

69. Wait we are leaving?!

70. Yaaaassssssssss!!!!!!

71. Gotta get the drunkies food first.

72. Alright, everyone is fed.

73. Everyone is home.

74. I’m home.

75. Bed. Sleep. FINALLY!!! 

The big 25 is coming up for me in just a matter of days. I'm talking quarter century here people. I'm not super freaked out about it, I've already had my mid-life crisis about 4 times over…so I have learned some things…

1. You do you, booboo.

2. If no one likes you, who the hell cares?

3. Eat the damn cake….

4. In moderation. 

5. Work out, even if you don't want to.

6. Your future self will thank you when you can climb stairs without huffing and puffing.

7. Bad boys really aren't that great.

8. Don't ever, ever, ever take your parents for granted….

9. No matter how bad your relationship is. 

10. You will need your mommy/daddy at some point,

11. Even if you don't want to admit it.

12. Not everyone that comes into your life is meant to stay forever.

13. Tattoos/piercings are addictive.

14. Matching tattoos are never a good idea.

15. Neither is that name you're about to put on your body. Forever. 

16. Under no circumstances does having a credit card ever work how you plan.

17. You think you will make the payments and stay caught up, but then life happens.

18. And credit card debt will ruin you.

19. Always have a mechanic check out any car you plan to buy.

20. Whether you are getting it from Joe Blow down the road or a dealership.

21. Know how to put oil, transmission fluid, coolant, and windshield wiper fluid in your car.

22. Blinker fluid is NOT real.

23. Trust me, things will change in a year.

24. It always gets worse before it gets better.

25. Ladies, have at least one eye shadow palette and a good set of make up brushes.

26. YouTube is your friend…

27. Who will teach you how to use said eye shadow palette, change your oil, or make a fancy dinner.  

28. You're never too old for a Disney movie night.

29. Sometimes things just don't work out…

30. …And that's totally ok.

31. Either learn how to function with a hang over,

32. Or learn your alcohol limit. 

33. Don't be too prideful to ask for help if you really need it.

34. You're family really does love you,

35. Even if they don't show it all the time.

36. Find a hobby….

37. It will keep you sane.

38. You are never too old to learn something new.

39. Moms— there's no such thing as the perfect mother.

40. Everyone yells at their kids, trust me.

41. As long as you are trying to be a good mom, you are doing a great job!

42. Enjoy the little things.

43. You need to try yoga at least once in your life. Not just yoga…

44. Try new things, no matter how much they may scare you.

45. 8 times out of 10, having roommates doesn't always go as planned.

46. Even if its with your best friend from middle school.

47. Go to a live concert at least once in your lifetime.

48. Everyone has fat rolls when they bend over.

49. Everything happens for a reason.

50. So don't ever regret anything, even the bad things. 

For most girls, when we reach a certain age, our mom is our best friend. Normally that age is about 13. We become a woman. We look to our mom to help us with clothes and make up and boys. We still love our daddy just as much, and enjoy our time with him, but mom just understands heartbreak and boobs and hormones so much better. For me, I didn’t hit that stage until I was about 21. I was an adult, married and a mom myself, when my mom became my best friend. The one I ran to with all my problems. 

Growing up, our relationship was very much reversed. I was the mom and she was the child. She came to me for style and make up tips. I handled boys and heartbreak on my own. Hormones and periods we just didn’t talk about. So when I began talking to her again after cutting her our of my life for about six months, it was like I was getting to know her all over again. It was a weird experience to rediscover your own mom. I was much happier with our relationship. But when she died at the young age of 48, I was once again left floundering at an age where self discovery is huge. Especially when I was going through something very similar to what her and my dad had went through. An affair.

As my life fell to pieces, the only person I wanted was my mommy. My oldest son started acting out at school and cussing out his teachers. I wanted advice from my mom. My divorce was finalized and I didn’t know if I wanted to call my mom to cry or to celebrate, but either way I wanted to call her. I met someone new and started dating, and I literally had to stop myself from picking up the phone and scrolling through my contacts to find her number. 

Many people in their 20s don’t realize how easy they have it. They can call their mom whenever they want. Me? I think at her a lot. I talk to her in my head. I write to her. I flounder and look around for someone, anyone, to help me. Sometimes that bites me in the ass because I turn to the wrong people for help. I don’t have my best friend here anymore.  

When life gets rough, I muddle through. I call my dad and talk to him about things dads want to talk about. (So when my car breaks down or an appliance breaks I call my dad.) I call and cry to my no-matter-what friend, who I am grateful for. I think at, write to, and talk to my mom in my head. Some days, I don’t want to leave my couch because the pain is just too much. Other days, I smile and laugh at little things that remind me of her. A car my boyfriend just bought, a song that comes on the radio, the Easter flowers that are popping up in this abnormally warm weather. 

It especially hits home now, as we are approaching the three year anniversary. My oldest will be starting second grade, my youngest will be starting kindergarten, I’m turning 25 and having a quarter life crisis. As I continue to try and rebuild my life, I keep trying to turn to her to see how she did it. She’s been here and done this more than I have. She rocked her 20s. I just have to try and be as badass as she was.

What happens when the two most important people in your life can't get along? Try to talk to one about the other and they either tune you out or disagree with you. To the point that you can't talk to either one of them. Because neither one of them hears what you are saying. It's hell on earth. Both of them are permanent fixtures in your life and you don't want to lose either one of them. But you can't think, can't vent, can't breathe the others name without something setting one of them off. So how do you deal?

1. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes that can be really hard, especially when you love them both so much. Don't let him walk all over your friendship, but don't let her walk all over your relationship either.

2. Stand up for your relationship/friendship. Don't let them talk bad about the other in front of you. That just ruins your view of both of them. When she starts bad mouthing him, you look at him through the words she is saying but not how you feel for him. And eventually, all you see when you look at her, is someone who does nothing but talks bad about whoever your with. And when he has nothing but negative things to say about her, you will start questioning your friendship. 

3. Don't just tell them the bad stuff. Everyone has problems. Everyone argues. But if all they are hearing about each other is the bad stuff, the fighting, the arguing, that's all they are going to see. If he does something sweet out of nowhere, tell her about it. If you and her laugh like idiots over the smallest thing, tell him. Let him in on the inside joke. 

4. Be yourself. No matter what. Doesn't matter who you are spending time with. Him. Her. Both of them. Don't let one see a version of you that the other one wouldn't. If they both can't accept you for who you are, then they don't need to be in your life.

5. Spend time with both of them… Chances are, if you're in a new relationship, you are spending more time with the boyfriend than the best friend. When you do that, it causes problems and makes her resent your boyfriend because he's monopolizing you. But if you are spending more time with her, he will wonder if you are dating him, or your best friend.

6. …together and apart. Spend time with her one on one. Have some girl time. The same with him. Go on dates or lay on the couch and watch movies.  But also hang out together. All three of you. This way she will get to know him too. This will also show her how he treats you in front of others, and will hopefully reassure her that he's a good guy. Also, he won't be on the outside of inside jokes this way. You will all three have jokes together and can laugh together. 

7. Make sure they both know that they have a place in your life. Remind them that you love them both. And that there will always be a place for them in your life. No matter where life takes you. No matter what happens. Let her know that you will always be there, whether its three in the morning crisis mode, or three in the afternoon to talk about the cute guy in front of her at Starbucks. Just because there is a new guy in the picture, doesn't mean you love her any less. And make sure he understands, that through thick and thin, you guys have each other's backs. But you will always have his the same way. 

We always hear the story from the person who was cheated on. We never hear the side of the story from the person who did the cheating. Because most people don't want to hear that side.

When someone says "I had an affair" or "I cheated", most people hear or think "they cheated because they weren't in love anymore" or because their significant other "wasn't giving them what they needed so they went somewhere else". 

But that's not always the case.

I can't speak for other people, but when I hit 22. my mother was pronounced brain dead two days later and it shook my world. Now, this isn't a story of living it up before I die, although it may seem like that. 

I wasn't falling out of love with my husband. I was still getting what I needed at home. I had a wonderful husband, an amazing family. So why did I throw it all away?

When someone dies, it leaves a hole in you. For some people, they use art or drugs or books or support groups to fill this hole. 

Me? I used sex. 

Whenever anything went wrong in my life, I used sex to make the pain go away. To forget, even if it was just for a little while, that my life was going to shit. And the summer of 2014, that's exactly what I did. 

And I got caught. 

It was my own fault. I opened my mouth to the wrong person, and it got back around to me. What made this even worse was it was with a coworker. So I left my stable job, my career at this company to save my marriage. Which dissolved anyway. 

When it first happened, my step mom would barely speak to me, and my dad wouldn't even be in the same room as me. My grandparents, who are devout Christians, kept their comments to themselves, but I could feel their disappointment through the phone. 

My friends, not for the first time, wondered about my sanity. 

Admitting that the affair happened to every new person that didn't know, tore my heart out all over again. The look of pity in their eyes. For me, for my failed marriage, for my kids now dealing with a divorce. That was the worst part. 

That and knowing that I destroyed the trust of the one person that trusted me the absolute most. To watch his face fall into tears, the love in his eyes that he had for me disappear, the knowledge that I had broken not only our vows, but also our beliefs and promises to each other. 

Then there's the people that look at me and think "well if she did it once, lets see if she will do it again". The 'once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater' mindset. This isn't a thing. At least, not for me. 

Now, three years later, I've told new friends and new boyfriends why my marriage ended. The friends that have stuck around don't treat me any different. They still love me, despite this fault. 

One boyfriend has thrown the affair back in my face during an argument. Another had problems trusting me because of this, along with his own experience with cheaters. 

That was something I never considered. The long-term affects. That my significant other, who this did not affect, still doesn't trust me one hundred per cent. So. 

Three years later, I'm still dealing with the fall-out. Most would like to think that after the initial admittance of guilt is over, then that's it. It's done. It's over. But no.

For me, its something I deal with on a daily basis. A lesson I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Not all of us who have had affairs are horrible, heartless people.