Why I Cheat On My Wife And How Divorce Is Not An Option 

 

 I appreciate that for many of you this is going to be a tough read and it’s going to be hard not to judge me. But everything I write about is the truth. I’m a husband, a dad, a businessman, and a serial cheater. I’ve been cheating on my wife for the last 10 years and I have no regrets. My wife is unaware of my extracurricular activities and I go to great lengths to cover up my deeds. They say it’s never the crime that gets people caught, it’s the cover-up. And that’s where I focus a lot of my efforts on the cover-up. 
 

Why I Cheat

It would be easy to blame my wife and her behavior for my cheating. The truth is, she’s amazing. The problem is with me; I’m broken. There’s some part of me that constantly needs that attention, needs to fill that void, needs that excitement – and once my kids came along, the amount of attention I got at home just dropped (rightfully so). I was always that kid that never managed to get a date in my teens, and once I started hitting the gym and learning how to dress it all changed for me. But there was something about all that rejection early on that made me treat multiple women like a game. It’s hard to describe the feeling of getting undivided attention from a beautiful woman – it makes me feel alive, like I”ve still got it. 
 
And I’d love to tell you that I’m rich or drive a Ferrari, which I’m not and I don’t. I’d love to tell you that I look like a model but I don’t. But I am sharply dressed, in shape, and extremely charming. And I’m honest (well not completely). But the women I cheat with know that I’m married. They know there’s an expiry date on the relationship and right from the get-go they know the score. 
 

The Trouble With Cheating

Of course, cheating is wrong. But it’s also stressful. Spinning all those multiple plates, keeping those cover stories intact and my burner phone well hidden takes work. It’s almost like having a second job. But more than any of that, is that you can’t tell anyone. Not even your closest friends. If you imagine the situation, you discreetly tell your friend, he promised to keep his mouth shut but secretly tells his wife. She begrudgingly keeps the secret but tells her hairdresser – and on and on this game of Chinese whispers continues all the way back to your wife. 
 
And after 10 years of cheating, I needed an outlet. I needed to be able to tell people about it without losing my cover. So I decided to start a blog called Cheater’s Handbook. I write and document my journey of cheating but more than that, I help men (and some women), better learn how to not get caught. 
 

Getting Caught

When you hear about people who get caught cheating, it’s natural to feel sorry for that person’s spouse. There must be no words for that level of betrayal, of course leading to unknown levels of trust issues. If you’re gonna be in the cheating game, going to great lengths to not get caught is more important than learning how to find the perfect affair partner. It’s selfish enough being a cheater but more selfish bringing that drama home with you. I know I’m selfish, but I make sure that I never ever bring that cheating home with me. Ever! My cheating happens during the day, I never invent some last minute business trips and I always keep a spare/matching set of clothes in the car, so I come home looking the same and smelling fresh versus smelling like perfume. 

 

 
So If I like Other Women So Much, Then Why Not Just Get Divorced? 
 
Reading this, it’s natural to ask me why I just wouldn’t get divorced. Well, the answer to that is simple. There are 3 reasons I’d never get divorced. Firstly, my young 3 kids are very attached to me; it would devastate them to have to grow up without their dad. Secondly, the financial implications would be so big and dramatic that it would take years to split all of our assets and thirdly, having an affair is all about excitement. Seeing other women when single would be fun, sure I don’t deny it, but part of the excitement of having an affair is the secrecy, the sneaking around,the covert coverups. All of this adds to the excitement of a relationship with an affair partner. Affairs aren’t just about sex and attention, the sheer secrecy of it keeps it so very tantalizing. 
 

I’m not alone

 I know it’s going to be tough not to judge or demonize me. I get that I’m the bad guy. But please know this. Cheating websites like Ashley Madison have 60 million users. That number tells us so much. That number makes up a combination of people who are just curious, have cheated once or are serial cheaters. I’m not alone. But where I’d like to think I’m different, is that whilst I know I can’t stop people cheating, the one thing I can do when coaching some of our readers, is to make sure that they don’t get caught. 
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