Author: Emma

It’s been a while since we parted ways. The last words you said to me were, "I love you," and then you walked away without any kind of goodbye. We just stopped talking up until today. 

We exchanged a few words and I was able to ask you some questions about how things ended between us. 

You told me how stupid you were and how you fucked up. You admitted to being an asshole. I respect your honesty even if you offered it a bit too late. At least you own it, because what you did to me, I would’ve never done to you.

When I asked you why you just left, you just said that you felt I was not ready to give your what you needed. 

I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready. I’m sorry that you felt that I was never going to be ready, but most of all, I’m sorry that you would stoop that low. 

When you left unexpectedly without an explanation it broke me. Part of me was hoping that I’d come home and you’d be passed out in our bed, but you weren’t. You were gone and so were all of your belongings. 

For days, I fought just to get out of bed. I couldn’t sleep at night. I was an emotional mess. I simply didn’t deserve to be blindsided by you. 

It wasn’t just what you did to me that hurt but how you did it. It hurt to have no closure. It hurt to sit and wonder what I did or what was wrong with me that made you want to leave after everything was going so well.

After our conversation now, I have some clarity but some more questions arose that I didn’t dare to ask because I was thankful for what information you had already provided. 

I keep wondering, how could you tell me you love me and then never say another word? How could you break me like that? How did it not kill you to know I was hurting so bad because of you? How was it so easy to walk away from the person who cares most about you? I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, you’re gone and I now have what I need to move on. 

I’ve learned that when someone treats you badly, it’s only a reflection on them and not you. 

Now that I see things clearly, I’d like to say “thank you.” Thank you for breaking me, for leaving me and for your impact in my life. 

Since you left me, I’ve been working on myself. I’m finally happy again. I’m doing really good in life and the pain from what you did to me has been what pushed me to get to this point. I'm finally okay with everything going on in my life. 

Sincerely, 

The Girl Who Was Too Good for You

Baby girl, we’ve all been there. We’ve all lost someone who we thought was our whole world, someone we thought we’d spend the rest of forever with. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss him. 

You deserve better. If he’s not there fighting for your love, he’s not the one for you. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. I know you want him. Your heart is with him and I understand that. You wish he’d change into the man you know he has the potential to be, but the harsh reality is that he’s just not that man. He’s not going to change for you and that’s how you know he’s truly not the man for you. 

You have every right to feel however you’re feeling. I know you’re willing to wait around until he’s ready to be the man you need him to be because you love him. You’re not obligated to do that. Don’t do that. No matter how much you want to or feel the need to, don’t. 

“Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought: useless and disappointing.”

A little more harsh reality: he’s not sitting around, crying over you or thinking about you. He’s not worrying about how you’re doing or the damage he’s caused. He’s not losing sleep or drowning himself at the bottom of a bottle to get over you. He’s probably off, having the time of his life with his friends and possibly someone new. 

Somewhere out there, there’s a man who’s ready to give you the world. There’s a man out there who’s going to appreciate everything that he took for granted. You may not find him tomorrow or next week, but he’s out there. 

You’re worth so much more than what he’s putting you through. You have to realize that. I know it’s cliche, but everything happens for a reason. Cry it out. Scream it out. Bleed it out. When that’s all said and done, move on. It’s easier said than done, but you’re strong and you can do it. 

Sincerely, 

The Girl Who’s Been There 

It’s been awhile since we talked, but I feel like we just ended things yesterday. 

Throughout our relationship, we had talked for hours on end about what we wanted out of life and we wanted similar things. We both wanted the basics, to become financially stable, get married, have a family, etc. We had other goals that matched, too. With us being so young, there was no rush to get it all together tomorrow, but we were supposed to work towards it together over time. 

I don’t know why, but you tried skipping steps. You wanted to do things completely backwards. You wanted a baby more than anything, but that’s not what we needed at this point in our lives. 

You switched up. Maybe it’s because you’re too young to be ready to settle down and get it all together. Or maybe it’s because you couldn’t have it your way because I wasn’t willing to do things backwards and have a baby before we were ready. Either way, you bailed.

When you bailed, I was hurt. I didn’t couldn’t quite wrap my head around how all the plans we had together were just suddenly gone. It was hard to make it through the day with everyone asking for updates on my life with you, but it was even harder to come home to the bed that we were supposed to share. 

As time has passed, I’ve realized that those plans aren’t gone. Sure, we’re not going to act them out together, but I don’t need you to become financially stable. I’ll find another man for the marriage and family part, a man who’s sure of a future with me. Those plans are still there. We just won’t be doing it together.

So thank you for helping me come up with a plan, but now it’s my time to act it out alone. I hope one day you decide to get it together and that one day you’ll be living the life we always talked about. I only wish the best for you. Whoever you end up with will be a lucky woman because the finished product of you is going to be one great man. You have a good head on your shoulders. You’re just not ready yet..

Sincerely, 

The Girl Who’s Doing it Alone

It’s been a short while since we broke up and I’m still missing you; being without you, sleeping alone, waking up alone, going home alone, etc. Maybe things are still just too fresh for me to forget about. Maybe I won’t ever forget. Only time will tell. What I do know for sure is that this pain sucks and I’m tired of feeling it.

I’m not supposed to want to love you anymore. I’m not supposed to want to text or call you anymore. I’m supposed to be angry because of what you did to me. I’m supposed to hate you. I’m supposed to forget you and everything that we had. All of these “supposed to’s” and “not supposed to’s” only makes it hurt that much more.

My friends have been helping me through it, but nothing they do or say can completely make it go away. They tell me that I should be happy with the way things turned out, but how can I be happy with any of this? 

I was certain that you were someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. I was hopeful that this was it and I didn’t have to look for Mr. Right anymore. How did it go from that to nothing? How did it go from us being so happy to now there’s just a constant aching pain that isn’t just in my heart, but my whole body? Where’d the future that we always talked about go? How did it just vanish like that?

My heart skips a beat when I see your picture on a friend’s Snapchat story or whenever someone mentions your name or whenever curiosity gets to me and I creep on what little of your social media that I have access to and I see the pictures of you and I or even the ones of just me back when you showed me off or when I see her.. 

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the “what if’s.” What if we got back together? What if I would’ve done this? What if I wouldn’t have done that? I realize that I made mistakes, pushing you away due to my own insecurities. I had a hard time accepting love and I own that. I can’t change it, but I have learned from it. Part of me wants us back. 

“We’ve come too far for us to give up on tomorrow when we’ve shared so many good time yesterdays.” 

There’s nights that I can’t sleep and I just lay there wishing you’d come back to me, come home. There’s days that I sit there, barely able to move because I fight myself just to get out of bed, wondering what you’re doing, if you’re okay.

I’ve realized that I tried everything I could. I supported you through everything you wanted/needed in life since I entered it. I sacrificed things in my life for you. I was loyal, even after you broke my heart. I never gave up on you. 

I’ve decided that today is the beginning of the rest of my life. Today marks the day that I stop wasting my tears on you. You stopped deserving my tears when you walked out on me. While you’re busy giving up, I’m going to work on bettering myself. 

I deserve somebody better than you, someone who won’t treat me the way you did. I didn’t deserve half of what you put me through. I stuck by though because I love you and you were the one I wanted. I just wanted your love, time, and attention. I wanted your affection. I wanted to feel like you cared, like you were proud to have me. 

Someday somebody is gonna come in and love me the way that you should’ve. It’s going to be hard to love him back, to offer him the love I was trying to give you. 

He’s going to have to deal with a lot of bullshit because of your mistakes. But that’s okay, because the right one will. The right one is going to stick by my side no matter what and he’ll fight for my heart today and every day, just like I deserve. 

I love you always, but now I love you silently. I hope your new life is treating you well.

Why am I still here waiting for you to come around when I know that I deserve better? Why are you still the one that I want? I know that I should've started running a long time ago and never looked back, but here I am, at a standstill, waiting for you to run and catch up. But you're not running towards me. You're running in the opposite direction. So why am I still standing here? 

Part of me is hoping that you'll turn around and come back to me, hoping that you'll change and become the man I know you can be. 

You could be a great man, a man who knows what he has and who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. You don't want to be that man and that's a problem. The bigger problem is that I know my worth, but I'm still standing here, waiting for a man who brings so much hurt into my life. 

I know I shouldn't wait for you, but what if you really do change? What if you turn into the man of my dreams and I leave too soon? And then you'll give the love that I want to someone else. 

Walking away would be in my best interest, but all my heart wants is you. 

My heart knows that all you're out to do is break it. Deep down I know that you're not the guy for me and that I deserve more than this. 

I feel sorry for you. One day my heart will give up. One day I'll be strong enough to walk out of this standstill. When that day comes, you'll have lost someone great and probably the best thing that ever happened to you. 

One day you'll look back and realize what you lost. You'll realize that it's your fault for not fighting for me when you had the chance. You'll realize how much hurt you caused me, someone who only cared about you and what's best for you. The day will come when you regret losing me, but by then it'll be too late.

One day I'll realize that you were never worth my time because you'venever seen my worth. I'll realize how much better off I am without you. 

I hope you never make anyone else feel this way. I don't want you to love anyone else, but I don't wish this pain on anyone else. There are times when I think I can literally feel my heart breaking and it's an excruciating pain.

You're running out of time, but for now I'm still waiting on you to come around.