This is How Being in a Narcissistic Relationship Caused My Anxiety Disorder

Narcissists cling to those who have big hearts because they can tolerate a great deal of subliminal abuse. But it’s only so long until they finally realize the damage being inflicted on them and build up the courage to walk away. It’s a process we’ve seen play out over and over, but what no one seems to realize is the impact narcissistic abuse can have on your mental health post-relationship. Your mental health deteriorates even after you free yourself from a narcissistic relationship. I know this first hand because the truth is, being in a relationship with a narcissist was cause for my anxiety disorder.

It all started with the verbal abuse sinking deeper and deeper into my system.

The awful things my narcissistic ex-said about me echoed in my mind so often that they slowly became my reality. I felt like I was nothing without him, I thought I was too sensitive, I overreacted too much, I thought everyone hated me and honestly, I started to hate myself. I lost touch with family members, I stopped hanging out with my friends, I had completely and totally isolated myself without even realizing it. And it’s all because his narcissistic abuse convinced me to do so. I was alone and trapped in this world where I had absolutely no control over the things that happened to me… I was terrified and frozen.

Please Forgive Me For All the Times My Social Anxiety Got in The Way of Our Friendship

Anxiety

I’m a chronic plans canceler, there I said it, but that doesn’t make me a bad friend. My excitement when I originally made plans with you was genuine, it wasn’t fake. You’re my friend, and I love you, and it’s always exciting to spend time with you. I mean, nothing makes me happier than to enjoy a margarita, and a plate of nachos together. But what happened from the time we made the plans to when it was actually time to go is a battle I’m exhausted of fighting.

 

See, the moment I realize that tonight I have to leave the comfort zone of my house, my heart starts to beat a bit faster. I get this clammy feeling and I feel a little nauseous, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s all me and my head, believe me. I suffer from social anxiety, a condition triggered by social interaction that heightens… no… maximizes the anxiety in my body. I know it’s difficult to understand, because you’ve known me forever and we’ve spent countless nights together that you probably didn’t realize I was anxious, so let me explain.

 

25 Signs You and Your Bestie are Basically Dating

You’re perfect for each other. You want to be together all the time, even when you’re sick of each other.

She’s your go to, your ride or die, your partner in crime. You’re those besties everyone thinks is dating because of how much time you spend together. But you wouldn’t trade a minute with her for the world.

You basically go out on dates all the time

A bottle of $7 wine, a candle, and a fat plate of nachos

And she always offers to cover the bill

Then you go home to snug and have a Netflix marathon

You don’t even have to search for a show because you’re both balls deep in the same one

49 Quotes That’ll Soothe Your Anxious Mind

Sometimes when you feel anxious, it feels like there is no way you’ll feel better again. The walls feel like they’re closing in around you and no matter how deep you try to breathe, you can’t seem to calm down. If you know that feeling you also know that there always is a way out of it, it just takes some time.

Next time you’re in need of some soothing words to calm your anxious heart, take a look at these quotes.

1. “The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.” -– Robin Sharma

2. “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” —Oprah Winfrey

3. “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” —Thích Nhat Hanh

4. “Once you accept, truly accept, that stuff will happen to you and there is nothing you can do about it, stress miraculously leaves your life.” – Srikumar Rao

5. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” —James Allen

6. “There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” —James Carroll

7 Ways Successful Couples Fight Differently That Your Relationship Needs

Every single couple fights, it’s just what makes love real. But there’s a huge difference between the couples who just fight to fight and those who fight to make things better for them down the line.  Because fighting when you’re truly and completely in love with the other person means staying up till 3 am, with tears running down your faces, over something that’s going to make you stronger as a couple.

So what is it that successful couples do differently when it comes to fighting? 

1. They don’t run away when things get tough.

They don’t say “I can’t” and slam the door behind them. They don’t roll over and fall asleep knowing the one they love is silently crying in bed next to them.

Sure, it could just as easily be swept under the rug, but they’re not in a relationship only for the good times. They’re okay with losing sleep if it means calming the other down.

They stay up and hash it out no matter how late it gets.

2. They listen to each other with an open heart.

They don’t talk over each other or cut the other off. They start slow and take turns speaking, voicing their own opinions and truly listening with an open heart.

And they always think before they speak because they know how much it hurts to say something they don’t mean.

3. And they acknowledge the other’s point of view.

They find it in their hearts to genuinely take a step back and understand where the other is coming from. Empathy isn’t something every single person is capable of, but sympathy is a learned behavior.

It’s something that you can resort to in times of need and it’s something that actually solves a lot of fights.

They say things like “I see what you mean,” and “I know where you’re coming from” to ease the situation.

4. No matter how upset they are, they would never tear the other down.

It’s so easy to resort to name calling without even realizing by saying things like, “you’re being a real asshole right now” and “that was a bitchy thing to say.”

They refrain from any negative names like that because, at the root of it, they love each other with their entire hearts and would never want to hurt each other with such harsh words.

They also avoid sarcasm like the plague. In the middle of a fight they are their most vulnerable, they are baring their souls to the other, and wouldn’t stab the other with twisted words while they’re trying to open up.

5. And they know how to stay calm… or at least seem like they’re calm.

The worst thing in a fight is when it starts to escalate to screaming. That’s when you know there is absolutely no control left.

They know when they have to step away from each other for 10 minutes and reconvene after they’ve organized their thoughts. They know how to put their emotions aside and say ‘’I love you, but can we talk about this tomorrow?”

And they have it in their hearts to still sleep together as if the fight never happened because their love is so strong.

6. Even in the worst situations, they always give the other the benefit of the doubt.

Everyone is just trying to do the best they can, and when in a relationship it’s necessary to realize that. They don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions about the other, ever.

They put their insecurities aside and hear the other out with an open heart and a loving mind.

7. And they never forget at the end of the day, their hearts belong to each other.

No matter how exhausted this argument leaves them, their love never tires. One fight doesn’t stop them from wanting to be together for the long run.

Fighting has only made their relationship stronger and built to last. 

If this person is truly your other half, they’ll be willing to fight with you because if they can do that, then they’ll fight for you, too.

This Is The Feeling I Get That Tells Me You’re ‘The One’

I fell for you hard and I fell for you fast and ever since that moment, my love for you has grown rampant. Every day you show me what true love really is, so I can’t help but feel that you’re right for my heart and undeniably the one for me. 

I can feel it in our quiet moments in the early morning when you pull me close in that sleepy haze and kiss me gently. There’s this warm chill that runs down my spine while you trace my every outline with your fingers and the sun begins to peak in. I swear, I can almost feel your love radiate off your heart and land directly unto mine.

With my head on your chest, I feel so undoubtedly safe. Your heart beating in sync with mine, telling me it’s okay to let my guard down, telling me you’d never hurt me, not even for a second.  All of you feels like home and your beating heart makes me want to return to you over and over.

I can feel your unconditional love when you make me feel secure in who I am and how I am, even in my worst moments. I know there are times when I can be ‘too much,’ times when I can be hypercritical of myself and even of you, when my emotions take over and I spiral out, right before your eyes.

But still, you are kind and understanding. You never give up hope for a second that we will make it through any issues that we may have. You never give up on us, you never stop loving me.

When my heart fills with worry, sadness or rage and I can’t manage to calm down, you always know the words I need to hear. You know exactly what to do to quite my mind and lift my spirits. You always manage to put a smile on my face no matter how down I may feel. You bring light into life motivating me to be the best version of myself. Your unconditional love never fails me.

This type of love only comes once in a lifetime, so I’m not giving it up. It’s a feeling I’ve craved and dreamed of for as long as I can remember.

I can feel how my heart begins to break at just the thought of having to go a day without hearing your voice or feeling your kiss. For the very first time in my life, I’m scared of losing someone.

I’m terrified by the uncertainties of life, that there may be one day your love for me fades away with the sunset, never to be felt again. I can’t lose you, I won’t. I want this love we share to last a lifetime.

That’s how I know, without a single doubt, you are the one I want to be with forever. I want to wake up to you every morning and feel the way I do in those moments, every day for the rest of my life. With you, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, the best version of myself that I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t bare losing all of that and you. I wouldn’t survive it.

Please, keep loving me because if I don’t ever want to stop getting this feeling.

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

Mark Salling Deserved to Die, But Not By Suicide

Former “Glee” actor, Mark Salling, is reportedly dead from an apparent suicide after his body was found near a river bed in Los Angeles. This was all after Salling plead guilty to possession of child pornography involving pre-pubescent minors and was sentenced to seven years in prison starting March 2018. Prosecutors say he had 50,000 imagines of underage children that he viewed on a regular basis. That being said and knowing all the repulsive crimes he committed, Salling deserved to die, but not by suicide.

Salling’s committed transgressions were beyond shameful and disgusting, and for him to not own up to his crimes accordingly by choosing suicide is cowardly. But what’s to expect from a repulsive human being like him? It’s people like Mark Salling who give suicide a stigma.

Because of degenerate people like him, many children are being sexually abused.  His actions contributed to bile acts against children that do not get to have a voice. They don’t get to choose their fate so why should Salling get to decide his?

His actions carry extremely heavy consequences that deserve to be dealt with and faced on a daily basis. If it were up to me, he’d have a life full of sleepless nights and being tortured in prison not only by his inmates, but by his circling thoughts of what an awful human being he turned out to be. 

If I got to decide what happened to him, he’d never see the light of day again. Just the fact that he even had the nerve to commit suicide and ignore the fact that he owed so much to not only his victims but their families as well, shows what a worthless human being he is. Salling and every person like him, deserve absolutely no mercy. 

I understand that when the topic of suicide comes up, some people find it in their big hearts to feel sorry for them, thinking “he must have felt so alone and scared,” and “he thought there was no hope.” But the thing is, people like Salling and other criminals who committed suicide after doing something terrible, deserve nothing less than to feel this way and live every waking moment of their lives tormented by the truth of what they’ve done.

Mass shooters such as Stephen Paddock of the Las Vegas shooting, Seung-Hui Cho killing 33 people at Virginia Tech and the god-awful Adam Lanza who terrorized Sandy Hook Elementary School one afternoon in 2012, all had the gall to take the lives of so many helpless people and then pathetically took their own. And worst of all, the lives of children were stolen. Helpless young lives who had so much hope for their future, now don’t have the chance to kiss their moms ever again. 

Think about that for a second. To some women, having a child gives them a purpose in life, it’s something they dream of their entire lives. Imagine one day, you send your child to school, you drop them off and drive away, only to find out that afternoon that some man came in a murdered your baby? Imagine how scared they must have felt, they were probably screaming for you the entire time. Imagine that now, you’ll never be able to hold your child again because they’re watching over you from heaven. 

These people are the poison of the earth.

They should be the ones waking up every single morning in a fog because of what an awful human being they are. They deserve to spend every second of their day wanting to die but not able to do anything about it. The families of every victim deserve to know the murder of their loved one isn’t getting the easy way out. But instead, their families now have the wrestle with the fact that the one person they hate the most in this world, got to make a choice about their life that their loved one didn’t get to make. 

Who the fuck do these egotistical psychopaths think they are that they have the right to take other people’s lives anyway? Only God has that kind of power in his hands and these cowards are the furthest thing for Him. In fact, they’ve rightfully earned their front row seat burning in hell.

I have absolutely no remorse for someone who decides to reek havoc on another person’s life then take their own just to escape the wrath.

Salling deserved to live a life full of regret for looking at pictures of underage children, for supporting the sexual abuse of young lives, and leaving them with absolutely no control over what happens to them. Paddock, Lanza, Cho and so many more deserved to live a life that is equivalent to burning in hell for genuinely believing a mass shooting was the right thing to do. They are sick minded individuals who deserve absolutely nothing more in this life than to suffer immense pain. 

They are the ones who don’t deserve a say in their own lives, not their victims. The only positive outlook on this entire situation is the fact that our world is no longer poisoned with their existence, but deep down, I would’ve rather watched them all suffer a life spent behind bars where they belong. 

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

10 Best Cyber Monday Beauty Deals on Amazon

Cyber Monday is the biggest online shopping day of the year. So with deals on almost every page we click on we’re bound to get overwhelmed. It’s the one day of the year you can buy those beauty products you always wanted but never got for yourself, you just have to know where to look.

So to make it easier for you, we created a list of the best beauty products on Amazon for Cyber Monday. 

1. Remington Pro 1-1½” Curling Wand with Pearl Ceramic Technology, CI9538D 

Why you need it: It heats up in 30 seconds so when you’re running late for that holiday party, you still have time to get that perfect curl. 

2. Burt’s Bees Hand Repair Gift Set, 3 Hand Creams plus Gloves – Almond Milk Hand Cream, Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream, Shea Butter Hand Repair Cream

Why you need it: Burt’s Bees quality never disappoints. This gift set is stacked with different products that are perfect to beat the cold, hand-cracking winter. 

3. Wunderbrow Brow Gel,

Why you need it: It gives you those perfectly fleeky eyebrows in Auburn, Black/Brown, and Brunette and comes with an applicator brush so you won’t stain any of your others. 

4. Clarisonic Mia 2 Blend & Cleanse Holiday Gift Set

Why you need it: This two-speed device not only removes makeup, oil, and sweat but also comes with a foundation brush, for flawless makeup and foundation application. 

5. Remington S9520 Salon Collection Ceramic Hair Straightener with Pearl Infused Wide Plates, 2-Inch

Why you need it: It gives you that smooth salon finish because of its pearl ceramic technology with 450-degree heat and 120V. And automatic shut off so no more running back inside to see if you’ve turned your straightener off. 

6. Bioderma Sebium H2O Micellar Water, Cleansing, and Makeup Removing Solution

Why you need it: It removes makeup while cleansing and purifying combination to oily skin. You need this solution as your first step in your morning and evening routine to keep your skin clear and breakout free. 

7. SHANY Artisan’s Easel 18 Piece Elite Cosmetics Brush Collection 

Why you need it: These are the professional grade brushes at a broke ass bitch price. Kabuki Styles, Face Brushes, Eye brushes, Foundation Brushes, this set comes with them all. 

8. The Body Shop Coconut Body Butter, Nourishing Body Moisturizer 

Why you need it: This winter proof nourishing body butter to keep your skin touchably soft even on the chilliest days. It’s suitable for normal to very dry skin and hydrates up to 48 hours of ultra-rich moisture. #need. 

9. L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream 

Why you need it: This is the ultimate gift set including only best sellers and customer favorites, so yes you need it in your life so you know you’ll love every item in it. 

10. L’Oréal Paris Voluminous Original Mascara, Carbon Black

Why you need it: This bold, volume building mascara is sure to catch the eye of everyone at your holiday gatherings. You need this product because it gives you 5x bigger lashes by separating and building every lash. 

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

And One Day, My Name Didn't Make You Smile Anymore

Every day, I’m coming one step closer to finally forgive you. Although every now and then, I take a few steps back. I can’t help it that there are still days my heart won’t stop mentioning your name or I’ll wake up smiling from seeing you in my dream, only for that smile to melt into tears. 

It’s okay, though. I don't always feel so okay, but I know one day I will.

I once reveled in the fact that you told me you loved me, it made me so unbelievably happy to watch those words form on your lips and land in my heart. With your hand in mine, I thought I’d never need anything else in this world. I had you and you had my heart. But nothing’s ever that simple, is it?

Somewhere along the line, you broke my heart. One day, my name didn't make you smile anymore. 

You didn’t know you weren’t in love with me, you didn’t even truly and completely know what love is. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay, it doesn’t mean I was unaware of what it meant to love you, it doesn’t mean my heart hasn’t been in pieces since the day you walked out. 

The thought of spending forever with someone excited you, but you weren’t prepared for the effort that goes along with it. You just didn’t know how much work relationships took. I was your first love, you didn’t know it’s not all smiles and easy days. You didn’t understand how impactful your words are on people. 

You didn’t see the way they became ingrained in my heart, unable to be buffed out or filled in. They were there, they still are there, and I don’t know how to forget them.

I could call you every mean name I can think of in my head… but that’s not going to fix us, it’s not going to change anything. There isn’t even an ‘us’ anymore. What happened, happened and all I can do is work on healing myself and moving forward, right? 

I’m a work in progress now, pushing a little farther each day trying to make up for the damage you did to my heart. 

And then maybe one day I can say I’ve completely forgiven you, but until then, I’ll keep taking steps towards it, because it’s taking everything for me to not give up. 

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

13 Riverdale Quotes That'll Make You Fall in Love With Jughead Jones

Riverdale is one of those shows you turn on and think “I’ll watch a few episodes I guessss,” and before you know it you’re knee deep in the drama and head over heels in love with Jughead. And maybe you have a serious hatred of Cheryl Bloom but know deep down she’s just broken and in need of a little love. 

But let’s be real, Jughead makes the show. He’s got a heart of gold and past from hell, how could you not love him?

1. “Betty don't! Don't do give up! You family is definitely splintering right now but it won't fall apart because of you. Because you're holding them together. You're so much stronger than all of the white noise. You're stronger than your mother. You're stronger than your father. You're holding this family together. So don't… don't let go.”

2. Betty: “All this time I thought you were a lover, not a fighter.”

Jughead: “I’m both, I’ve got layers.”

3. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in. And I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.”

4. “I’ll figure it out… I always do.”

5. Betty: “You’re a psychopath.” 

Jughead: “I prefer ‘creative.’”

6. “Do you think I could use Jason Blossom's death as an excuse to get out of PE? ‘Sorry Coach, I'm just too freaked out and depressed right now to do pull ups.’ …What? Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.”

7. Betty: “Why do you hate your birthday so much, Jug?”

Jughead: “PTSD from when I was a kid. I don't know. Things were always messed up at home. Usually because of my dad. And then there was this arbitrary day, that we would just get together and pretend things were great, we were normal. And it just made me feel really lonely.”

8. “I'm trying to help you, dude. I'm trying to be your friend here. Even though we're not anymore.”

9. “I used to know this guy once. Archie Andrews. He wasn't perfect but… he always tried to do the right thing at least.”

10. “We're not gonna hug in front of this whole town… So why don't we just both do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions.”

11. “Fear. It's the most basic, the most human emotion. As kids, we're afraid of everything. The dark… The boogeyman under the bed… And we pray for morning. For the monsters to go away. Though they never do. Not really.”

12. “Hey. We're all crazy. But we're not our parents, Betty. We're not our family.”

13. “Weekdays, from 8:25 am to 3:01 pm we adhere to a strict regimen. Everything in our lives is controlled, but then something like the murder of Jason Blossom happens and you realize, there is no such thing as control, there is only chaos. Nevertheless, some of us strive to impose and maintain order, in what is, fundamentally, an orderless world. A fact which would very soon be confirmed, in ways none of us could have foreseen.”

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

Exit mobile version