Author: Eryn Hull

Let’s face it being a mom is a 24/7 job. There is no time off, vacations, or breaks. Even when your child(ren) are napping or sleeping you are on the clock. Yes, it is worth every second but let’s be real we all need some mommy time alone.

Most moms probably will all agree that when bedtime rolls around it becomes their me time. But how much me time do you really get then, and how are you spending your me time?

If you’re anything like most moms when your child(ren) go to bed you use that time to finish chores around the house and probably take a shower in peace. That isn’t really me time (okay the peaceful shower is), it’s more mom time.

Do yourself a huge favor and stop. Take a deep breathe and let the chores wait. Trust me you’ll thank yourself in the end. You work all day, whether you’re a working mom or a stay at home mom, and you deserve to rest and relax at least a few times a week.

And you don’t have to wait til it’s bedtime to have you time. For those of us who are fortunate to have someone there to help us out then we should take full advantage of it. Tell your partner or whomever it is you have that you need a break and go have you time. Even if it’s only for like thirty minutes or so. Every second you get for you counts.

Taking time alone can greatly reduce the amount of stress you have and can positively impact your over all health. And let’s be honest a happy healthy you means a happy healthy mom. Your kid(s) will thank you for that.

If you don’t have someone there to help out you can still take some me time. As I’m typing this up my son is running around the living room playing. I’m fully aware of what he’s doing and interacting with him but at the same time I’m doing something I love to do and relaxing at the same time.

Be honest as moms we all think about things we wish we could do if we had time, or thing we used to do but just don’t anymore. If you’re anything like me you have a lot running through your head. So go ahead and do it.

Start with the easiest thing to do, a list. Grab a pen and paper or your computer if your like me and start writing down all the things you want to do but just don’t have the time. Make sure your list consists of things you want to do for you. If you have mom things you can make a separate list for those to do another time, focus on just you.

Got your list? Great, now start it. But where do I start? And how?

Start simple. Wait for bedtime and pick the most simplest thing on your list. Do it. Take a long relaxing shower or bubble bath. Grab a book you been wanting to read and start. Grab a glass of wine or a beer, kick your feet up and catch up on a show you been wanting to watch. Eat a pack of cookies or bowl of ice cream in peace.

You’ll be amazed at how much more relaxed you will feel in just doing something so simple. And who knows it may even help you sleep better. We all know a good night of sleep can help make a morning better.

Take a few nights doing the simple things. My simple things include doing a short workout at home and laying on the couch watching my shows. After a while it will become second nature for you.

Then go back to your list and start knocking things off it. If money is stopping you from doing something you want to do then plan for it. Get a jar or container of some sort and put a little bit away until you save up for it. And in the meantime move on to something else.

If you want to do something for you outside of the house but have trouble with a sitter, plan. Go over your list and make a mark by all the things outside of the house that you want to do. Now look those over and see how many can be done in one outing. There you go, instead of needing a sitter for multiple nights you can do multiple things in one night.

There really is no reason why as moms we can’t make time for ourselves. You would do whatever you can to make sure your kid(s) are happy and healthy so why not do it for you as well.

So do not only yourself but your child(ren) a favor and take a sometime for you. Do the things you want to do and live a much happier and healthier life.

Tis’ the season…for pumpkin everything. Some people (me being one) get excited for this time of the year. While others roll their eyes and say oh no not again.

Now I am a pumpkin lover but I will admit that the pumpkin epidemic has gone to far. So this is my take on all the pumpkin things out there, good and bad. Hope you enjoy.

• Pumpkin coffee. Yes please, in fact I’ll take 2 cups, or ten. I have tried different brands and for the most part they are all good. Dunkin Donuts has my top vote for best pumpkin coffee.
• Pumpkin spice creamer. Again a big yes. Bailey’s pumpkin spice is my favorite but I do enjoy other brands as well. It even works good in hot chocolate.
• Pumpkin spice cheerios. Sounds strange but I gave it a whirl. Not to bad. Had a good pumpkin taste and made the milk good after. I vote yes to this.
• Pumpkin spice Oreo. First does Oreo really have to turn every food into an Oreo? I was a little iffy about these and for good reason. They aren’t really good. Not a big pumpkin flavor to it and a bit of a strange after taste. Won’t buy again.
• Pepperidge Farm pumpkin cheesecake cookies. YES PLEASE. Hands down one of the best pumpkin cookies I ever had. No bad after taste and they are very soft. The downside is they are a bit on the pricey side. Side note, they also make other flavors that are great.
• Pumpkin Pop-tarts. These were quite strange. They were good but did have a bit of an after taste to them. I enjoyed them but it’s not something I will buy often. I’ll admit if you toast them (I typically don’t toast my pop-tarts) they do taste close to a pumpkin pie.
• Quaker pumpkin oatmeal. Now I love a nice bowl of warm oatmeal on a cold morning and I love this kind. It has a great pumpkin flavor, not to strong and no bad after taste. Thanks Quaker.
• Pumpkin spice Mini Wheats. No thank you. To me this just taste like cardboard. No flavor at all. Sorry Mini Wheats but this was a big fail.
• Jell-o pumpkin spice pudding. I actually haven’t tried this yet but I heard it’s really good. Has a nice pumpkin flavor. It’s definitely on my to try list.
• Pumpkin Hershey Kisses. I was so excited when I heard of this. But let’s be honest, pumpkin chocolate really doesn’t sound good. It wasn’t. To me it taste like cinnamon chocolate and left a bad after taste in my mouth.
• Sam Adams pumpkin ale. Again I haven’t tried this. And to be honest I’m a little scared to try it. I have heard mixed reviews on it. Another for my to try list.
• Pumpkin pie Pringles. No, bad Pringles. Don’t try it, sounds gross and is gross. A million thumbs down to this.
• Pumpkin spice marshmallows. Why on earth would anyone want this? Yes I had to try them and yes I regret it. Pumpkin and marshmallow do not mix in my opinion.
• M&Ms pumpkin spice latte. Yes please, I’ll take two bags. Now I know what you’re thinking, you said the Hershey Kisses were gross why should I try this? I’ll tell you, M&Ms did something right. They taste like a pumpkin latte and don’t have a bad after taste.
• Chobani pumpkin yogurt. I already have a thing against greek yogurt, gross. Why did I try this? I couldn’t swallow it. Two thumbs down and never again.
• Pumpkin cream cheese. Okay yes it sounds gross. Guess what, it’s so good. I’ll take a spoon and a tub please. It was really good on crackers as well.
• Pumpkin ice cream. Again just give me a tub and a spoon and I’m happy. In my opinion Turkey Hill has the best one. But so far I’m pleased will all the ones I tried. It’s even better on top of pumpkin pie.
• Extra pumpkin spice gum. Okay now this is one I don’t want to try. Pumpkin and gum, no thank you. I’ll stick to pumpkin I can eat not just chew.
• Crest pumpkin toothpaste. Yes this is real and no I will never try it. Toothpaste should not be mixed with food. I want my mouth to be minty fresh after brushing, not pumpkin fresh.
• Pumpkin spice Fudge Stripes. Keebler did a good thing here. Not a strong pumpkin taste to them but good. The only downside to them is you can’t eat to many as they are on the sweeter side.
• Pumpkin butter. Yes. Now I am a butter lover and I love trying flavored butter as well. I’ll admit I ate this straight from the spoon.
• Pumpkin doughnuts. Okay I’ll be honest here I have had some that were good and some that were bad. It all comes down to personal preference here. My favorite was from Tastycake.

I love pumpkin and get super excited for pumpkin season but come one some people have taken pumpkin to far. I know there’s a lot more pumpkin flavored items out there that I haven’t seen or heard of.

I’m thinking of writing a part two list soon, so if there is something you know of that I didn’t list let me know.

Being a mom is stressful and sometimes a bit overwhelming. No amount of reading or planning can prepare you for the wonderful journey of parenthood. But it’s not all bad.

There are plenty of great times that come with it. All the laughs, smiles, and great happy moments. Especially when you sit down and think about all the things that us moms say.

So I put together a list of things that all moms say at least once in their life. Hope you enjoy.

• Am I talking to a brick wall?
• You live under my roof you follow my rules.
• Do you live in a barn, close the door.
• Did you brush your teeth?
• Did you brush your hair?
• Answer me when I’m talking to you.
• Are you really going to wear that?
• I am not your maid.
• Pick up your toys.
• Pick up your clothes.
• Make your bed.
• No jumping in your bed.
• BE GOOD.
• No you can’t have ice cream (cupcakes, candy, cookies) for breakfast.
• Clean your room.
• Did you flush the toilet?
• Did you wash your hands?
• Did you use soap?
• Are you listening to me?
• Don’t make me come in there.
• I will pull this car over.
• Don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where it’s been.
• Don’t use that tone with me.
• I’ll give you something to cry about.
• Stop picking your nose.
• Don’t eat your buggers.
• No running inside.
• Go ask your dad.
• Go to your room.
• Don’t sit so close to the TV or you’ll go blind.
• Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
• How many times do I have to say it.
• Don’t make me repeat myself.
• Look at me when I’m talking to you.
• ENOUGH.
• Stop yelling, lower your voice.
• Eat your vegetables.
• If you don’t eat your dinner you won’t get dessert.
• I don’t know is NOT an answer.
• Don’t slam the door.
• How do you know you don’t like it, you never had it.
• If you do that one more time…
• Watch your mouth.
• You’re going to have children just like you one day, then you’ll see.
• I said NO.
• Because I said so that’s why.
• I know what’s best for you.
• Don’t make me count to three.
• Did you do your homework?
• If you’re to sick for school then you can’t go outside.
• It’s past your bedtime.
• Money doesn’t grow on trees.
• Do I look like an ATM?
• Over my dead body.
• Your face will freeze that way.
• When I was your age….
• You’re getting on my nerves.
• If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you?
• What part of no don’t you understand?
• Who died and made you boss?
• You just ate.
• Who do you think you’re talking to?
• I made it so you will eat it or go hungry.
• Wait till your dad gets home.
• If you put things away you could find what you’re looking for.
• Pull your pants back up.
• Use a napkin, not your shirt.
• If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.
• Stop that right now.
• Use your manners.
• Where is your shoe(s)?
• Put your diaper back on.
• Get out of the toilet.
• We’ll get it next time.
• You will always be my baby and I will always love you.

It's terrifying to let yourself fall for a friend because if things don't work out, you've lost a boyfriend and your closest friend. But if it does work out, it'll be the type of love that changes you in all the best ways. 

Because he'll respect you for you were before him and who you are with him. 

Since he knew you as a friend before you gave him your heart, he respects and loves you on a deeper level. 

He knows who you are when you're just out with your friends and now he gets to know you in a different, more intimate way than ever before.

And at the end of the day, you get to fall asleep next to not only your love but your life long best friend.

The person who knows you best, the one who no matter what happens will always be that gossip buddy or the one you just crack jokes with and laugh till your abs literally hurt.

He's seen the independent you and knows full well that if things don't work out, you'll be right back on your two feet. 

He knew who you were before you started dating so he knows your strength and confidence from the 'just friends' perspective.

And let's be real, that probably scares the crap out of him.

There's a bond between the two of you that you've known since day 1.

There was an instant connection, a strange sense that this person is super important to you. Your friendship came naturally and everything just sort of fell into place.  

You get this feeling like you knew each other your whole lives, which makes loving each other so easy.

You've defied the odds breaking out of the 'friend zone.'

Your relationship is one that everyone thought was doomed to fail. No one ever expects best friends to actually work as a couple, but it actually is the best feeling in the world.

Your love is one that can't be beaten or broken. 

Moving from stage to stage is a process that only strengths your relationship into one that can withstand almost anything. 

You get to goof off as best friends and have heart to hearts as a couple.

You're the perfect balance of silly together and undeniably devoted to one another.  

You can talk to one another on levels that other couples don't understand. Your ability to forgive one another and move on is greater because your relationship is rooted in friendship, you have the ability to let things go much easier. 

Being in a relationship with your best friend isn't any easier, but it's definitely a lot more comfortable and fun. You get to spend the rest of your life with this amazing person who, at the end of the day, will always be your best friend. 

And that's a great feeling.

We’re always taught that it is much better to tell the truth then to tell a lie. We grow up hearing sayings like “honesty is the best policy” and “the truth shall set you free”. But I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to lie. I mean come on who among us hasn’t lied to our kids.

Now I’m not talking about just flat out lying to your kids about everything and anything. I’m talking about little lies to keep them safe or happy. You know like the Easter bunny or Santa Claus. Simple and harmless and nothing wrong with it.

You want your child to eat more food but he/she insists on eating the same things over and over. What do you do? Well if you are me you lie about what is for dinner and say it’s something they like. For instance my son doesn’t eat pork or steak, won’t even try it, but when we say that pork is chicken and steak is deer he eats it. No harm done.

How about when your kid is very grabby and likes to touch everything and anything. How do you stop that? We say don’t touch it, it’s hot. Bam no more touching things that he could get hurt on or break.

So you have a snack that you want to enjoy but your child is standing there drooling at your feet and saying no just makes him/her cry, what do you do? Say it’s adult food or no you won’t like it, it’s yuck. We even gave him something that we knew he doesn’t like so he wouldn’t want it. Mean I know, but we all do it.

At the store and your kid is screaming for a toy or treat. We’ve all been there. And most likely have all said the same thing, “sorry we don’t have money for that right now” or “we’ll get it next time”. Or you get the times when you walk in the store and your child cries for something they know is at the store but can’t see it. Like asking for ice cream when you’re in the diaper section and you say “they are all out of ice cream” or “they don’t sell ice cream here”.

It’s bedtime but your kid doesn’t want to go to sleep. Maybe he/she wants another bedtime story, a snack, a drink, sing, or just flat out play. How do we get them to bed? Say it’s bedtime and that mommy and daddy are going to bed also, works pretty good most of the time. But we all know that we are not going to bed.

Bribes, we all use them. Your kid doesn’t want to clean, put on their shoes, eat their dinner, get their jacket on, or just listen to anything you are saying so you bribe them. Offer them a new toy or a snack to get them to do what you want and hope that by the time it’s over they forgotten the bribe.

As parents we all do it and sometimes we don’t even think about it when we do it. It doesn’t make us bad parents at all. Yes even if you are lying so you can eat the last cookie, you are not a bad parent. We do it to keep our kids safe, healthy, and happy. And yes sometimes we do it just to help our sanity.

There’s probably a million other things that we fib about to our kids that aren’t in here (new article idea). But the main thing to remember is that as long as you are not lying maliciously or just because you don’t want to be bothered with something then IT’S OKAY. There’s no reason to feel bad at the end of the day, especially if your child goes to bed safe, happy, healthy and loved.

To my children, now and in the future. If you ever feel on the outside please know this.

When I was little I thought I had a great family. I had an older brother who was cool. A mom who worked hard but still managed to be there and did it all on her own, she was superwoman to me. A grandma who loved me and was always there after school to help with homework (mom was at work). And a bunch of family members who really cared about me. I had a few memories from when I was really little of big birthday parties and trips to the park, but most of them were from pictures and home videos. I had no complaints. I was happy. My dad wasn’t there and my mom gave us reasons why he wasn’t and why we didn’t see him. As I got a little older things changed. My brother and I fought more, so did my mom and I. Nothing bad just the normal brother-sister arguments and the normal mother-daughter arguments. My grandma was still the same, supportive and understanding no matter what. Some family members had gone their own way and didn’t really see them much anymore. I did have one best friend and we were so close we were more like sisters which was awesome since I only had a brother and she was an only child. Her parents loved me like their own and I got to go to lots of cool places with them. My first concert was Shania Twain (look it up) and it was thanks to my best friend and her parents. Now not to knock my mom, she always saved and took us on vacations which was really fun. Then I started to hit my teenage years and that’s when things really changed in my life. I hated my brother and we fought a lot, sometimes we threw some fists at each other. I stopped getting along with my mom and we had more and more disagreements and arguments. I wanted to go hang out with my friends and not be home, but always had to check in and be home at a certain time. But my brother didn’t, he just left the house without saying a word. What cause he is two years older then me it’s ok? Can I do that in two years? Why does my mom question me all the time and not him? Is it because I’m a girl and he’s a boy? Well of coarse since I felt that he got special treatment I started to rebel against my mom. The normal things like lying about where I was and who I was with, staying out late on purpose, and yes sneaking out. But as the years went by things never changed, my brother was the golden child and I was a burden. Even when my brother got into trouble and spent 6 months locked up I was still the bad kid. So I started to hate living in my house. I remember one day my mother and I were arguing and she said “you were a mistake and I never wanted you”. Those words burned into my memory and to this day I can still hear it like she just said it. That's when I knew for real that I was the one everyone wished wasn’t there. When I was able to drive I was never there, always out. I did everything I could to avoid being where I never belonged. I moved out when I was 18, spent almost 3 years away from her. Until things with the guy I was living with (my at the time boyfriend) got so bad I had to leave. So there I was back home again and even more miserable. I had very bad trust issues and didn’t understand what love was really like, because of that I went from one horrible relationship to the next. And always telling myself that I was happy and the “he loved me”. One day out of no where my cousin on my dad’s side got in touch with me. My dad was sick and they wanted to do the right thing and let me know. After a very long debate with myself on if I should see him or not I decided that I would. I needed closure and needed to know why he left me and never cared. When I got to the hospital I was swarmed with hugs and smiles from family who hasn’t seen me since I was very very little. My dad was very very sick and in and out of conciseness but when my aunt (his sister) told him I was there he smiled and in that instant something changed. I spent the next few days with my family talking about everything and finding out the truth, finding out my mother lied to me all those years. I was crushed knowing now that my father loved me and tried to be there but my mother kept him from me. And it hurt even worse that by the time the truth came to light my father was dying and we could never be together. He passed away and I'm thankful every day that I was there at the end and got to say goodbye and tell him that I love him and that I know it’s not his fault. But everyday since then I have hated my mother for stealing all the time I could have had with him. I was so torn apart that I stopped caring about everything, including life. I went on a drinking bender and stopped going to work. Then one day an old friend told me about an account she made for me on a dating website. I laughed and thought it was nonsense. She messaged a guy she thought I would really like pretending to be me. I played along and started to talk to him and after a few days I couldn’t believe how much we had in common. We met and there was an instant connection, something I never felt before. It was love, real love. We got married after only a month and a half (yes it’s crazy). I was finally really truly happy and I finally found the meaning of love. We had a son, who is the most amazing little boy ever. And after getting to know his family and becoming a part of his family I found out what it felt like to belong to a family and be loved. I am thankful everyday now for my husband and his family. They showed me what it’s like to be wanted in a family and to be truly loved. I lived 26 years being the outcast, the black sheep, unwanted, and unloved. It hurt and cause what will probably be permanent damage.

So to my children I promise you these things. I will always love you more then ever. I will do everything and anything in my power to make sure that you never ever go one day feeling the way I did for 26 years. And I will never keep anyone who truly loves you away from you. I will give a life far better then mine.

It happens everyday and everywhere. And I bet each and everyone of you has done it at least once. It’s been a long day and you’re mind is racing with a million things, you’re child wants to tell you something but you don’t notice he/she is talking. Simple harmless mistake, yes don’t feel bad we all do it. Now let’s talk a not so simple harmful act done on purpose.

You have bills to pay, food to buy, clothes, diapers, school supplies, snacks, doctor visits, toys, and the list goes on. So how do you afford all this? You work. But wait what about your kid(s)? You enroll them in daycare, another expense to pay for. You find a very good child care center that you can trust and hey its affordable. So you enroll your child Monday-Friday, you drop off at 7am and pick up at 6pm. Everything seems great, but is it really?

The first few days you go pick up your child and you’re really excited to know all about their day. You talk to the care providers and to your child. But then one day you come in after a stressful day of work, you pick up your child say goodnight to the care providers and leave. And this is where it starts to go bad.

You know your child is taken care of and the excitement of something new is gone. So from here on out you come in, get your child, say goodnight, and leave. No more talking to the care providers and no more talking to your child about his/her day. And now you even come in on your phone, which you dont hang up the entire time you are there. Seems harmless but no it’s not. Your child has gone all day without seeing you and when you finally return they get the cold shoulder. What if he/she did an art project and wanted to show you? What if there was a new toy and he/she wanted you to see what it did? 

Now let’s touch on the even worse act, this one boils my blood. 

You bring your child to daycare, you bring a lunch, sheet and blanket for nap, maybe a stuffed animal, and some extra clothes in case of an accident. So you have a lunch box/bag and another tote/bag to carry other belongs to and from daycare right? That’s not a lot and when your child has his/her own cubby it’s easy to find it all. Easy peasy.

So for the life of me I can not see any reason to intentionally hide from your child when you come to pick him/her up. Your poor child misses you all day and you selfishly avoid him/her just so you can grab their belongings first. Not cool. And it’s worse when your child sees you gets excited but you scurry off hoping he/she didn’t see you. Guess what, you were seen and now your child is crying and screaming. And hey covering your face doesn’t work, they know it’s you. And hiding in another room, in a bathroom, behind a wall, and even behind another person doesn’t work. 

Put yourself in your child’s shoes. How would you feel? Loved, happy, important? No, you would be hurt and maybe even crushed. Would you want to feel that way five days a week? No, so why make your child feel that way?

Think about that the next time you go to pick up your child. Don’t hide and ignore your child. Hang up your phone, you shouldn’t be on it while driving anyway. Take interest in your child’s day, everyday. Don’t just say you love them, PROVE IT. Be a parent. Your child should be first even if you had a bad day at work and you’re tired. If you don’t show your child love who will?

Remember your child looks forward to seeing you at the end of the day, don’t disappoint him/her. Be their smile and let them know you missed them to and your care. Who knows it might even help brighten your gloomy day.