Author: Fabiola

To my crazy, fun loving cousins: this one's for you.

You were my first childhood friends, but also my first enemies whenever you told on my parents what I did. Perhaps for stealing your cookie or pushing you too hard when we played tag.

We shared laughs, fights, and most importantly memories, whether it was at home, school, vacation or Christmas dinner over at grandma's. We always stuck by each other and we always knew the family business. 

Even though we grew out of our youth, our inner youthfulness never left us. We can still sit at a table and reminiscence about the things we did as children. 

Just us at the table having a great time, similar to when were separated from the adults during family gatherings. The reason being we were not old enough to understand their "adult" conversations aka gossip. 

You have seen me at my worst and you have always been there even if there were times when we were far apart. 

To those who are older than me, you were also my first role models. Whenever I played with makeup or pitched a baseball, I wanted to be more like you. Of course, because you were older. The cool kids, ya know.

And today, you are all up to date with what goes on in my life. Our streak on Snapchat is straight fire. Emoji literally.

Or maybe you are all up to date because my parents tell your parents my entire life over the phone. Which is fine though.

As we get older, I will always appreciate your loyalty, your presence, and our good times together. Blood definitely is thicker than water.

You will definitely be the first ones on my wedding guest list. And the first ones to know who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

Even though some of us are far apart, our heartstrings remain intact. No matter what happens in life, no matter where we are or how badly we may fight, you will always be my cousins. More like siblings.

Thank you for the memories, the ones to come, and for being you.

With love,

Your crazy cousin.

Just as the fall season approaches, there are just some things and some people that need to fall out of your life for good and here's a list of that clutter:

1. Your old Halloween costume. Let's be real, the next Halloween party does not need another person dressed as a kitten.

2. Fake friends. I'd rather own faux leather this season.

3. Toxic relationships.

4. Old, worn out fuzzy socks. Invest in a cute pair, you won't regret it. 

5. Bad vibes.

6. An old, melted pumpkin candle. Treat yourself.

7. Old magazines.

8. Your ex.

9. Friendships lacking chemistry.

10. Old clothing. Donate them to charity.

11. Mediocre pumpkin "delicacies".

12. Expired makeup.

13. Regrets.

14. Body shaming.

15. Discrimination of any sort.

16. Stress.

17. Procrastination.

18. Things you have no control over.

19. Toxic family (blood relations does not give anyone the right to treat you unfairly).

20. Pictures flooding your camera roll.

21. Inappropriate pictures on social media. I'm sure you need a job in the future.

22. Torn boots.

23. Discouragement.

24. False judgments.

25. Insecurities.

26. Trash in your car.

27. Trash in your room.

28. Hate.

29. Grudges.

30. People that don't need you.

31. Negativity.

She's my best friend, sister, teacher, healer, and of course mother all in one. She's the sweetest, kindest person, but don't get me wrong, she is one hell of a force to be reckoned with.

She made me stronger in ways that I can't even begin to thank her for.

1. I don't need anyone to put a ring on it.

She taught me that I do not need anybody that doesn’t need me. Whether that is a friend or a significant other, our happiness should come from deep within ourselves.

2. R E S P E C T Find out what it means to me

Opening doors for people, blessing somebody when they sneeze, and saying “please” and “thank you” are just the little things that have a lot of meaning. Little manners that make life that much sweeter.

3. Everyone problem can be solved. No matter what

When we are hit with tough times, she always finds a way to make me stay calm and tell me to keep faith that it'll work out.

4. Men are not gods and I don’t need one to be complete

My mother always told me that I should never beg a man for his attention nor time. A man who doesn’t try to see or spend time with you, is not interested. 

You could be one of the most beautiful and smart women in the world, but if that doesn’t spark his interest it won’t work out. 

A man who is truly into you, will put his pride aside and treat you for the queen that you are. You are enough of a woman to succeed in life without the help of a man. #girlpower

5. Giving up isn't an option

Even if she have made stupid mistakes in her walk of motherhood, she didn’t stop being a mother. She is constantly fighting for the well-being of her kids and is willing to give up whatever it takes to see us go ahead in life.

6. Love is so much more than four letters

She reflects the purest love that could ever exist. She knows that her children are just angels that were borrowed and she will do anything she can to see us safe and happy. 

Her love is expressed through hugs, kisses, care when we are sick, and even exploding our phones with text messages saying, “are you okay?”.

7. The world doesn’t owe us anything

We all make mistakes and that we should own up to them. Pointing the finger at somebody else or blaming all of your faults on another person is a sign of weakness and toxicity. The best way to solve conflicts is dealing with them head on without any fear.

8. She went through hell and back for me, so I'll do the same for her

She's a living breathing example of sacrifice. Sure, she's not perfect, but she's perfect for me. 

As much as we would want our mothers to be eternal, unfortunately they’re not. Let’s hug them, kiss them, and make them proud. Mama, thank you for all you do.

They say the friendships that last a lifetime are made in college. Let me just say— this statement is nothing but the truth. Friends made in college that have only been around for months easily seem as if they have been around for years. 

There's something about the uncertainty of the future that college students go through that just brings their souls together.

I'm so thankful for those friends I’ve met during this walk that have helped me maintain my sanity through the strenuous workload and the debilitating stress and tears. Amid deadlines, lack of motivation, and rough courses, I only survived because I had these awesome people by my side. 

Friendships blossom anywhere in college. Like when things get tough in a class and you get the number of the person sitting next to you and put them under the name “girl that sits next to me in stats” or “the guy in English class.”

During study sessions, you begin to realize how great this classmate is and make plans to hang out after class. You'll bond as you complain about the amount of work that was given. Then the “add me on Snapchat!” or the “follow me on Instagram!” invitations begin. 

Maybe these friendships last forever because as young adults, we've all had our share of betrayal and rough times in the past. 

Meeting people who are in the same position as you makes you aware that you're not alone. They remind you that when the bad that happens, we have people who are also going through their own struggles and are willing to stick with us. We learn that we can get by together.

Maybe these friendships may have more of an impact than others because when people go through storms together, especially ones that deal with determining your future, it shows them that they have a person by their side who will never let you fall. They show you that you're in this together.

As semesters come and go, they will always remain a friend, even when you don't see each other as much.No matter how much time passes, nothing ever changes— you're always just as close to one another as the last time you spent time together.

College may be stressful and sometimes we feel like dropping out too many times during the semester but, in the end, we get by with a little help from our friends. 

We realize that this crazy, emotional experience is doable because of the people we have supporting us. If life were a meadow, these friends we come across in college are just the beautiful little flowers who make our journey worthwhile.

Everybody seems to be a little too sex crazed these days. These girls learn about the birds and the bees and all of a sudden they’re out there doing it. 

Well, I refuse to be one of those girls. I’ll probably never be the topic of conversation, but that’s fine by me.

I used to think I was doing something wrong when I heard girls talking about their boyfriends. “Why didn’t I have a boyfriend?” I asked myself, well let’s allow puberty to do its job and then we can talk about boyfriends.

I even felt like an outcast for being part of the 1% group who was as a single as a pringle But I saw how many girls my age had their hearts broken, how they struggled to let go of their ex, and how some even had a bun in the oven.

I mean who doesn’t enjoy a good old social media fight between two girls over a guy, but I want no part in that. I’ll be proud of my chastity and watch the cat fights from the sidelines.  

And as appealing as the guys messaging me asking to “hang out” or “send pictures,” I knew that obviously their intentions weren’t pure and the minute I said I was a virgin, they would never talk to me again and would ignore me in person.

Think about it, no group of guys can sit around a table and say that they’ve ever touched me or had any sort of sexual experience with me… it’s pretty fantastic. 

They can belittle any other girl they’ve been with, comparing her to other girls but I won’t have to worry about that. 

Needless to say, I won’t be worried about any infectious diseases either. 

I don’t want every single man who walks into my life to share this intimate experience with me. I am a private person as it is, so allowing a man who just carries the title of a boyfriend to explore my body for the temple that it is, to me is not what I desire.

I want to meet my soul mate, befriend him, fall in love and eventually exchange vows with him. I want that soulmate who knows every single one of my deepest secrets, to know every single inch of me the moment we both declare our full commitment to each other.

While some tell me that I should “test drive the car” well, practice makes perfect, doesn’t it?

Even though being a virgin in this day and age is not, perhaps the greatest thing ever, it is definitely one of my choices as a woman and I am proud to say that I will remain pure until I meet the love of my life.

We all love it when people keep it real with us. It can be bittersweet to hear a friend give you their rather honest opinion, we know we have a true friend to rely on. 

1. Their fake-girl-radar is spot on.

Honest people tend to be very observant. They will be the ones to tell you that the girl you just befriended from class is a major red flag. 

2. If you thought you looked bad, they'll be the first to tell you you're right.

If you have lipstick on your teeth, we will let you know. I mean, we are just looking out for you. You do whatever makes you happy.

3. They'll call you out if you're being a crappy person to yourself or to others.

We will yell at you and tell you to walk with your head held high because you are a queen and you need to act like one.

4. Being straight up about what they don't like is just part of their DNA.

Instead of pulling a petty, middle school type of move and talk to others about something you said/did to them, they will sit with you and settle it with you face to face. Honest people are mature and are ready to handle any situation that can arise. 

5. They'll tell you to get the hell over him and stop crying… in a nice-ish way.

They will help you get ready to go out and forget everything for the night.

6. Giving advice is their top skill on their resumes. 

Do I need to say more?

7. They are the most loyal friends you'll ever have.

Whenever you're having a bad day or whenever you feel crappy, honest friends will be there to make sure you paint a smile on your face and remind you how great of a person you are.

Because you are! Now go out there and get yourself an honest friend. If you can't find one, you can always be one.

Since when did being single become a bad thing? When certain individuals started to value their Instagram followers' opinions more than their own inner peace.

When they didn't have a cute gift to flaunt on their Snapchat story or to their friends in real life. When they see couples who constantly upload pictures, who claim to be happy in their relationship, meanwhile behind closed doors, the relationship is a living hell.

Why does this generation put so much emphasis on having a partner?

Maybe because it affects others' perceptions of yourselves. Or maybe it's a rooted insecurity.

Let me say this, being single is not the end of the world. Why focus on having a partner to enjoy your free time with when you can focus on yourself and enjoy your own free time?

Society depicts the single life as taboo. Whether it's in a movie or on a Facebook post.

With the pressure to be in a relationship, people can find themselves in bad ones. Then they may start to ask themselves why they're so unhappy with their partner. They may be looking to find someone who can "fix" their life or love them until they feel like they are worth something.

Or maybe they don't love themselves enough to quit looking and begging their partner to look at their text messages.

That's not love- that's toxic obsession and insecurity.

Self-love begins with you. Not with a pretty little love song, or a huge rant coming from your partner. It does not come from a motivational speech. Self-love begins when you understand yourself. 

Spending time alone helps when someone is trying to find and love themselves.

Once you learn to depend on yourself for your own happiness, then you are ready to go into a relationship. Don't expect your partner to be your lifeguard; learn how to swim in your own flaws and in those things you cannot change.

There is so much to life than being with someone.

There is traveling, there are life lessons, there is so much room for improving one's self. Instead of feeling like a grinch when you see others in their happy relationship, remember everything is not always what it seems.

While you may be wishing to have what others have, you are looking past their troubles. I don't know for sure, but being stress free and single sounds pretty damn good to me.

So while you work on self love, enjoy every minute of it.

And if you already enjoy your own company, then just simply wait. Everything will come at the perfect time.

There's a social life you have to keep up with, along with working a job, and maybe overtime if you're an overachiever. Let's not forget college deadlines.

All the projects, homework, essays, presentations, along with the unfortunate 9AM lectures that coffee can't even cheer you up the least bit.

There have probably been times where you feel like dropping out or you may feel as if you were a car and the engine won't start.

I've been there.

Whether you are majoring to be a business person, a writer, a nurse, an engineer, a teacher. You are not only working for yourself, you are working for the good of the world.

With every math problem you struggle with, you are on your way to becoming a nurse who is saving the lives of people in danger.

With every speech lecture, you are learning how to convince a crowd of individuals who can start a peaceful revolution and change the world.

All the essays you struggle with, are preparing you to becoming the best writer you can be and perhaps creating one of New York Times' Best Sellers.

Even though in college, we are forced to take courses that may not correspond with our area of concentration, it is still mandatory for you to fulfill in order to aid you into your destination.

Our journeys through college may be similar to that of a plane ride. We take off to our destination. Once we are flying we know we get closer and closer to where we want to be.

Even if we look out the window and feel like we are not moving. But in reality, we are.

Instead of looking at your college journey as a martyrdom, think of it as a stepping stone in life. Be thankful that you are being provided an education, when there are great minds out there whose economic situation is impeding their dreams.

Also, there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do.

But if you are passionate about something, follow your gut. Even if your profession isn't going to give you a millionaire's salary, it is a joy to work doing what you love than working in a place you hate.

I get it is frustrating. But relax, take a deep breath, and remember why you began in the first place.

This is your journey, nobody else's. So choose the story you want to write and make it beautiful.

I believe in you, in every one who is reading this. I may not know you, but I am proud of you.

Wake up in the morning with a positive attitude, and hustle like the boss that you are.

Just know that in ten years, you can be changing the world. With every word you write, every word you say, every IV you change, and every crowd you convince.

If you feel uncomfortable, that means you are changing. Changing is not always a bad thing, but it is a learning process.

Let the dirt thrown at you make you blossom into the beautiful flower that you are.

You got this.

Dear Stranger,

As I am sitting writing this letter, there hasn't been a time where I can say I have at least one genuine memory with you.

Many say we clash because we are so alike. Maybe it's pride. Maybe not.

Though you only came around during my birthday, Christmas, and maybe a couple regular days out of the year, I can't consider you somebody that I can honestly rely on.

I wish I could at least say "I remember when my dad pushed me on the swings" or "I remember when my dad taught me how to ride a bike".

I can't remember something that never occurred.

I have felt frustrated without you. There have been times where I felt so alone and I yearned for you to be by my side and comfort me.

But I can't cry on a shoulder that was never present and I can't seek a hand from someone that never reached out to me, only when it was time to give me money or some sort of gift.

Throughout my life, I always envied those girls that had their father present. Who had memories of their father. Those who were daddy's girls.

As a teenager, I fell for guys quickly. I fell for those who gave me the least bit of attention because I never knew I could be important to a man, let alone spark their interest.

As strange as that may sound, I never realized that I fell under the category of "the girl with the daddy issues" and it was embarassing when some people called me out on it.

How was I supposed to know?

I always wanted to have a relationship with you, but I can never force someone to be genuine nor make them be interested in who I am or what I have to say. I will never change for anybody. 

But I did let my guard down when it came to you, because you are my father.

When I look in the mirror, I see the face of a stranger. I see you.

When I get to see you, I am amazed at how much I look like you. And I get sentimental.

The times when I tried to build a relationship with you, I wanted to have at least that so I could be just a little bit happier.

But it was too late.

The childhood memories, I was too old for that to happen. My early teen depression stages, I overcame that. My high school graduation, it passed.

I always ask myself, who is the man that will walk me down the aisle during my wedding?

How can an absent father give his daughter away to a stranger? The giver must make himself known to his child.

I guess I will know when the day comes.

I am now an adult and I unfortunately had to accept my fate. I accepted the fact that I can never have a true bond with you because the milestones in my life have passed.

What is there to celebrate? What is there to remember? Nothing.

I am not mad at you. I do not hate you. I cannot keep a relationship up and running when somebody is not willing to chase me. I have done too much of it and I am fatigued.

If you ever need anything, I will be willing to help you. Just like I would help anybody else.

But it's too late for you to come around.

I now understand why I didn't have you around and why I couldn't have it my way, because I've been refined by the fire and I've been able to do so much on my own without your help.

I just hope and pray my children will not have to go through my situation.

But I will teach them to be strong and independent.

Sincerely,

Your invisible daughter.