6 Ways to Avoid Being Cliche on Valentine’s Day

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You’re really cute – I wanna bang you.

Valentine’s Day is the one time a year when we all (unless you’re that crazy cat lady or that king of nerds that is #foreveralone) that involves us treating our special someone “extra special and extravagant.” For real though – why, why, WHY does February 14th have to be the only day that Cupid shoots people in the ass? What about the other 364 days? Like bruh.

So, here’s to you Cupid and the 364 days you hide your face like a little b*tch.

Valentine’s Day tends to bring out the basic b*tch in all of us. So here’s 6 ways to avoid being a cliche BB:

1. Forget the box of chocolates – buy her a steak.

Okay, maybe the box of chocolates are still on…but treat your girl like the bad b*tch that she is and buy her a steak (or whatever it is her stomach desires). She’s worth more than the little heart shaped $5 box at Wal-Mart.

2. Ladies – whip out your womanism and cook for your boo.

I get it, being taken out to a nice dinner is great but treat your man with a nice home cooked meal around a candlelit setting. What’s more romantic than a candlelit dinner at your own home with no outside distraction? Who knows – maybe he’ll treat you to dessert. *wink wink*

3. Hallmark card schmallmark card.

Why spend $10 on a card made for everyone and anyone on the planet when you can write cute little sticky notes? Wanna spice things up: place the stickies all around the house and lead the most seductive/romantic note straight to the bedroom. (C’mon – we all have that side that comes out when we’re trying to be low-key kinky). Just do it!!!

4. Red Roses or nah.

So okay yes, females love flowers…especially roses. So maybe ignore my advice on this one and still buy the damn things, but add in a twist and make a playlist for your someone.

5. Romantic movie and chill.

Guys – us girls have you figured out. “A romantic movie leads to a romantic night in the bedroom.” So what if we get “heated up,” doesn’t mean we want you…at least not yet. Calm yourself, dude. Clearly she got all up in her feels because Christian Grey. Don’t flatter yourself too much boo boo.

6. Hulu and do you?

Netflix and chill. Imax and climax. Hulu and do you. Whatever you wanna call it, it all turns into a round of chiddy chiddy bang bang. Guys – if you want to suave her and have that typical V Day sex please do something extra romantic. Throw rose petals on the bed (or kitchen counter – wherever you want to pitch the teepee), light some candles, slow dance with her, take her out and actually show her a good time before you “show her a good time.”

You got this! Don’t let Cupid get to you this Valentine’s Day. You do you boo boo.

To The Girl With an Anxious Mind and a Guarded Heart

The world can be a cold, bitter place — your past can make you or break you, and standing on your own makes your knees shaky. But what happens when your knees are shaky but your heart loves wholly?

I’ll tell you what happens — your knees reach their breaking point and no longer can withstand their own weight, and your beautiful, untouched heart becomes guarded and covered in fingerprints you wish you could erase.

Your mind begins to wonder places it’s never been before … places it didn’t even know existed. Places that are unable to be turned away from. Anxious thoughts consume your mind and swarm every ounce of beauty you’ve spent years and years exploring.

Things become harder to comprehend, and trust becomes nonexistent. Relationships become a wasted memory and love becomes a battle you no longer want to fight.

Normal, stress-free thoughts? Do those even exist anymore? You can’t think straight and even when you’re able to, it all seems so foreign. Your mind wanders and creates scenarios of complete nonsense. And every little thing stresses you out. Literally.

You can distinguish logic from ridiculousness, but your guarded heart and anxious mind take control. You may even begin to wander how to make it by and how each day passes without entering a complete anxiety attack.

But one thing we need to remind our anxious minds and guarded hearts is just this:

There is nothing wrong with us, and although our thoughts and actions are completely irrelevant to just about every situation, we are normal functioning people.

There is someone out there who will come along and truly make you understand and realize exactly why it never worked out with anyone else. And just why you built the wall of China around your heart.

Just because you may not understand yourself does not mean that you are alone or that no one else will be able to understand or deal with you. There is a special someone out there that will understand more than you have ever or will ever understand yourself.

This I promise you.
Your mind will eased and your heart will begin to beat again with all of it’s beauty.

5 Reasons To Date The Guy Who’s Strong in His Faith

“Imagine a guy so focused on God that the only reason he looked up is because he heard God say: that’s her.”

That’s exactly what I got – a guy with a love for God so strong that it radiates off of him.

A guy so focused on bettering himself and getting his life back on the path that God has written out for him. A guy that required no chase at all but rather pursued me all because he stands with ears and arms wide open in awe of the love God has for him.

We don’t all have the same beliefs, and that’s okay, but dating the guy so strong in his Faith is a remarkable experience and here’s why:

1. His heart is bigger than the ocean.

No amount of forces can come between the love of a man and God. He puts others first without question and hardly ever puts himself first. “A man who is not after God’s heart should not be after mine.”

2. His focus is permanent.

Being strong in your Faith doesn’t mean that you’re any more of a human being than anyone else, it simply means that you have a focus that is driven by alternate forces. He’s gotten off his path, but his focus is on putting the path back together.

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Bruised, Broken, and Scarred but My Walls Are Coming Down

We all have roadblocks in life holding us back from successfully moving forward, boxing us in where we’re comfortable. Our mental walls vary in the category, but they all revolve around one core: letting go and letting God.

It’s a lot easier said than done, and for the girl who’s bruised, broken, and scarred, the initial act of letting go is almost as extreme as reaching for the stars.

But you see, I’m that girl.

I don’t know how to give it all up or how to let go of what it is that’s been dragging me down for so long. I do, however, know how to suck myself dry of all that I am and hold onto things terribly bad for me.

I know that I’m worth extreme happiness and living a wall free life, but I don’t know how to get there.

My heart is bruised from past experiences no human being should ever have to endure. My mind is broken by misconstrued communications. And my love is scarred from all of the flaws picked up along the way.

This is where my insecurities, my mental walls slowly began creeping up on me growing higher and stronger.

I knew deep down I had a purpose, but it was getting clouded by the process of finding who I was, what I was meant to be, and exactly how much I had to offer. I couldn’t get past the walls my mind had built up around me. But the thing is, these walls are meant to be broken down and expanded because that’s how we get to the core of our purpose.

Purpose of the process. That’s how it always should be and should have been all along.

Because when we allow for our purpose to be overshadowed by our process, we lose sight of any sign of purpose. We become discouraged and want to give up but we deserve more than a half-assed effort. We deserve pure happiness living life to the fullest when we find our purpose.

And my purpose… it’s greater than the borders that surround me.

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If You Let it, True Love Will Tear Down Your Guarded Heart

True Love Can Tear Down Those Walls Around Your Heart

Because you are completely giving all of who you are to someone. And trusting them not to destroy your entire being is one of the most vulnerable things we can do. It is as real as it gets because everything is laid out in the open. No borders, no protection, completely raw.

But how do you respond when all of this is ripped away like a hurricane sweeping through?

Better yet, how do you learn to trust again?

Your heart becomes guarded and it becomes really difficult to feel that anyone is safe to place your whole heart in their hands to love and care for.

When most of what you’ve known is a blind-sided vulnerability, hidden truths, and naive realities the challenge is at an all-time high.

Trusting the wrong one seemed like a breeze, but trusting the right one seems completely nonviable.

Maybe she’s terrified to allow herself to trust again because she’s terrified to lose the only thing that’s gone right.

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Listen, I Love You

I know that sometimes I disappoint you, get on your nerves, and drive you absolutely crazy.

I rarely think before I speak, never know what I want, and consistently pull myself down.

I’m used to being put down, let down, and fighting to be heard.

Always being deprived of the simple things, starving of compassion, peace, respect, and mutual love in a relationship.

I don’t know what a happy relationship is.

I know that I’m not perfect and can be highly self-destructive, which makes me hard to love.

I don’t always give you the answers that you want, or make it easy for you to give love in return.

I ask too much of you and sometimes don’t give enough in return.

I stress over things not worth my time, and I kill every ounce of your patience.

The breathing isn’t easy and the loving isn’t effortless.

But listen.

I know that it takes a special guy to understand it.

To want me to know what it feels like to be loved, heard, and wanted. To give it all to make sure I know what happy feels like in a relationship.

To go out of his way to prove me wrong, even when I don’t believe it or even deserve it.

I know that it takes a special guy to accept it.

To walk beside me and constantly reassure me of all of the unnecessary nonsense.

To go above and beyond to reassure my happiness.

I know that I don’t make it easy, but I want to you to that I’ll always choose you. No matter what, it will always be you.

Still, I want you to know that in a lifetime of rushed decisions, wrong turns, and messes, that you’re the first thing that’s ever felt right.

You’re the only one who can make me smile without even trying, affect my emotions with every decision you make, and the only one I’ve ever been terrified of losing.

It’s you — it’s always been you.

So, listen. I love you.

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She's Not A Lost Cause, She Just Needs Time to Heal

She’s a beautiful disaster too distracted by the chaos of her mind to see all the beauty in her life. But she has a heart of gold, she’s just never really known anything right.

A number of relationships from the past left her stranded, and left her trust in the dust.

Her past wounded her perception of love in general and now her over analyzing mind focuses in on situations and scenarios that have not happened nor have any real reason behind them to back them up.

Confidence begins with self-love — neither of which she feels she has. It’s a cruel and harsh world for her or at least she sees it that way. She’s a mind full of negativity in a world full of positives

She’s always finding something wrong with herself, something she must fix, something she wishes she could change, and something that would make loving her impossible. It’s all a defense mechanism to protect her wounded heart.

Her past made her a bit feisty but she’s strong and deep down knows that she’ll overcome her demons. But in the meantime she hopes that the ones that love her can continue to stick around. She’s working hard to mend her heart, so she can look at the world with more positivism.

She doesn’t want to be so guarded. She wants learn how to turn her mind off, keep her mouth shut, and contain her never-ending flood-like emotions.

She wishes to one day be able to give all of her without hesitation without getting so caught up in her mentally and emotionally draining past.

She knows that she’ll eventually get there, but in the meantime, please be gentle with her heart.

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The Girl Who's Always Gone Unnoticed

The power of invisibility is inevitable to some, and to the girl who has never known how it feels to be anything but, the process of acceptance begins at zero.

For anyone in her path, and indefinitely the one who not only noticed her, but helped her pick up the pieces, playing the waiting game is almost torturous.

How does one go from accepting the fact that she’ll forever be unnoticed and replaced to accepting that she is (finally) fully and completely noticed and irreplaceable?

The power of being screwed over is unlike any other. It hits harder and deeper than any other pain and leaves a trail that, for some reason, can’t break lose.

It scars you, changes you, and damages everything about you.

You don’t even know who you are anymore or when, how and why you began having unsolicited thoughts…thoughts that endanger the ones you love and care for the most.

Why is it so easy for her to push away the one who deserves every piece of her, but so hard for her to open the door all the way?

Maybe it’s because she isn’t sure of anything else at this point.

Maybe it’s because she’s terrified of letting someone else in when everyone else has walked out like it was nothing.

Or maybe it’s because she’s never experienced feelings of acceptance, love, and intimate emotions.

Whatever it is, she’s working on accepting it all.

Accepting herself because no one else has ever given her a reason to believe she is worth it.

Accepting her flaws because they sculpt her into her unique perfectness.

Accepting being accepted because it’s still really new.

And accepting the love of someone who gives her so much when she gives so little…because she has so much to offer and it’s time to break down the door she’s been hiding behind.

Invisibility is a thing of the past, but the scars of the past still put in disguise the goodness that’s overtaken her.

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When You Find Your No Boundaries Relationship: Embrace Every Second

When you look at him, do you see your future right in front of you?

Does he hold your heart in the palm of his hand?

When you tripped, did he catch you, letting you know that he would catch you when you stumble all the way?

If your wall is the furthest it's ever been down, but you still struggle slightly with knocking the last few pieces away, but you know he's there with arms wide open waiting for the moment you fall…chances are he's your no boundaries relationship.

And you should begin embracing every moment of it.

Maybe you need him to prove you, and by you I mean your thoughts, wrong. And that's a-ok, but the only thing he should gladly prove you wrong on.

Embrace it.

Maybe your fears and obscured thoughts get the best of you, and maybe you need him to remind you of this on the daily.

Embrace it.

Maybe you have to constantly express these fearful, obscured thoughts because he knows you all too well and you can't hide this nonsense.

Embrace it.

Embrace it all, because he has a heart of gold — a heart so BIG that he wouldn't dare rip the one right out of your chest. Because he's been there too, and he knows how badly it hurts.

Embrace it, because he would not dare hurt you.

You love him with your entire heart and every single piece of you, and never do you ever want to live this life without him ever again.

He is your world, and you are his. He exceeds being good enough for you, and neither of you think you deserve the other, because the two of you are literally the best thing that has ever happened to the other.

You have no boundaries, because with boundaries you would be held back from offering him all of your love.

And he deserves it, Lord does he deserve it.

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Hey Dad, Don’t Read This Until Her Wedding Day

Giving his daughter away is probably the hardest thing a father will have to do in his life.

From dropping her off at kindergarten on her first day to opening the door for guy on her first date, his heart is aching.

And now, that’s his little girl falling in love with the guy she’s going to spend the rest of her life with.

He prays she takes his breath away just by the sight of her, that he’s the guy who will love every ounce of her being without question, that he’ll be loyal to her even in his lowest moments.

Because a father’s love is incomparable to anything else. He loves his little girl with everything in him and would never allow anyone get close enough to her if he had an inkling that she could get hurt.

In his eyes, no one will ever be good enough for her. But the truth is… she’s found her forever. The one guy who she will love for the rest of her life and he’s everything she’s ever dreamed of.

Every prayer her dad prayed, every wish he made, every dream he dreamed. This guy is all of it.

Every tear he shed, every smile he beamed, every “I love you” shared. They all come back in the form of this perfect guy.

He’s the one who treats his princess like a queen, shows his little girl the world, gives her the entire universe, and loves her with all his unending might.

He protects her, cherishes her, respects her, listens to her, encourages her, lifts her up, catches her when she falls, spoils her, and reminds her every day of how amazing she really is.

He stands by her even in the darkest times, never makes her feel alone or abandons her, always holds her hand crossing the street, and never lets her go to bed angry.

He understands her far more than she understands herself, makes her laugh and cheers her up, prays with her, and motivates her to be the best version she can be.

He is the love she has been searching for and the one who holds her heart in his hands

He’s the one.