Author: Faith Lorraine

I’ve grown up living with a smoker. I don’t smoke personally and I never have.

But I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with a sore throat because of someone smoking in the house.

I’ve dated smokers, I’m not a fan. You know that saying, “kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray?” It’s true.

I don’t like dating someone that smokes. Especially if they chain smoke.

When I first started dating my ex awhile ago, he’d use mouthwash after every cigarette. That stopped about a month into our relationship.

When I moved out of my parents house and lived on my own for a couple years, it was pure bliss.

I didn’t have to worry about getting sick because of living with someone who smoked in the house.

I moved back into this place for a little bit and I have developed sore throats more often than not. I have a smoker’s cough, and a nasal drip.

All from living with someone who smokes in the house. I’m looking forward to the day I move out again so I can get away from all the sore throats, the smoke in the house and the smoker’s cough.

You might be thinking, “Why not tell this person that not only is their health at risk but so is your’s?”

It’s a lot harder than you’d think to tell someone this and for them to actually listen. And care about the fact that they’re physically hurting your health.

This person would just reply with, “I pay the mortgage for this house, if you don’t like it you can move out.” Which is my plan, believe me.

Cheers to the day, that I move out and don’t have to deal with this.

I recently reconnected with one of our mutual friends. She was telling me that I was too good to you. And you know what? I was.

You didn’t realize how good I was. At the beginning of our relationship, you wouldn’t let me buy anything. No going out, no drinking, nothing.

Until, one day, you caved. Little did I know, that was just the beginning of you “letting” me buy our dinners and drinks.

You were my first love, what was I supposed to do? I thought I was in love with you. And I may have been at first.

Until I realized that you were just using me. You may not have realized it but you were. I had a car that worked, and I had a job, meaning I had money coming in consistently.

I didn’t realize how emotionally abusive you were until it was late in our relationship. I knew I wanted to be with you. I thought I could help you. I wanted to help you.

While we were together you were addicted to pills. I didn’t see it right away but that’s because you were trying to hide it from me.

I helped you get into a detox program at least 3 times. I would drive you there. Drop you off. And wouldn’t even make it home in some cases before you were calling me to come pick you up.

And to this day, I’m not sure you were telling me the truth on why you left or rather got “kicked out.” It was a voluntary program, so if you wanted to leave then you could.

I’ll never forget the relief I had when I would drop you off and start heading home. That’s when I realized that we shouldn’t be together anymore.

Whether you want to admit it, or not, I’m better off without you. I’ve met some other guys who deserve my attention way more than you do.

And I may have a slight grudge against you for certain things that you did during our relationship, but I truly hope you’re doing okay.

I’m happy, and I hope you find someone who’s perfect for you. As for our relationship, we weren’t a very good match. 

But I’ll never regret our relationship. Everything happens for a reason. I learned a lot from it and I hope you did too.

When Trump first announced that he was running for President of the United States, I thought he was joking.

I thought, “He can’t be serious. He doesn’t know anything about the commitment it takes and the understanding you need for this big ass job.”

When I got my ballot in the mail, I did not vote for Trump. I did not agree with anything he said. I did not believe he’d be a good President.

I know that half of my friends and family agree with me on this and understand why I did not vote for him.

As for the other half? They’re just afraid of Hillary being in the Oval office. I was not afraid of her. I’m more terrified of him having control over EVERYTHING.

I don’t believe he deserves that much control. He already owns practically all of New York. What else does he want?

There are some people that say since he’s already rich, no one can buy him off. All I’m thinking is, “Has that always been a concern every election?” I don’t think so.

This guy, our next President, has stated that since he’s rich he can grab any pussy he wants.

Do we really want the President-elect to be able to say that or worse, think that? Has Obama every said that. No, he hasn’t.

Now that the election is over, what now? Now that Trump is President-elect, what now?

Some of my family and friends want to flee our country. And I can understand why.

When I found out that he was the next President, I had a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach that I only get when I’m nervous about talking in front of groups.

And it hasn’t gone away. It also feels like the feeling you get when you think you’re in trouble for something you didn’t do.

Now, that it’s been a couple days since it was officially announced, I’m wondering if he’ll actually pull this off.

I’m not sure what the future holds, but I do know that we can hope he doesn’t destroy this country. I’m still terrified he might though.

Let me start off by saying; no, I’m not a mother. I haven’t breastfed anyone in public or private yet.

However; that doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion about breastfeeding in public. Breastfeeding in public doesn’t bother me.

Then again, I have boobs and I’m not offended by seeing an infant feeding on them. Why does it bother you?

Why is it not okay to see someone breastfeeding but okay to see the half naked model for Victoria’s Secret?

Is it because we, as a society, would rather see someone half naked who looks good than someone who’s “just” feeding their child?

I don’t know about you but it’s no secret that kids need to be fed on a regular basis.

And when they’re newborns or within their first year than it’s more often so they can grow big and strong.

What makes it necessary that some people need to yell at those mothers who are breastfeeding in public? That just shows the child that it’s not okay for them to be fed.

Maybe it just makes you feel good knowing that you can yell at someone for something stupid. And believe me, yelling at a woman breastfeeding her child is STUPID.

It’s not your right to have a say over whether she can do that in public or not.

There are 49 states that allow women to breastfeed in public. So as long as they’re not breaking the law, I don’t see why it bothers you.

How about we mind our own business and leave the new mothers with their newborns to breastfeed them wherever and whenever they want.

It's definitely weird living with a child when they don't belong to you. My best friend and her son live with my family.

Her son tries so hard to just be a kid. And it's hard when his sperm donor was the most horrible person in the world.

And when his father figure and his mom separated, I'm sure that about broke him. I absolutely love this kid.

I have discovered that I get more irritated being that I'm not a mother. I've heard from other mothers that when you have your own kids, you learn to tolerate them more.

I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, to be honest. He's not even my kid and I already want to apologize to my parents for the way I acted as a child.

Or for just being annoying and not realizing it. And that's not his fault. I know that this kid is just going through a hard time, especially, right now.

He was definitely given a shitty hand lately. His dad has never been around. Mostly, because he's a horrible person and used to beat my friend like she was a fucking punching bag.

Then the only father he knew for about 6 years of his short life is not in his life as much as he used to be.

Someone he used to see almost every day. Someone he used to have adventures on the boat with. And suddenly all of that just stops.

What do you do? As an 8 year old. You don't understand why your parents can't just be together. You don't understand why the situation is more complicated.

All he sees is that mom and dad love each other so why aren't they together? And honestly, I wish I could make his pain go away from everything this little one has been through.

Most of which, he doesn't deserve. He's gone through more stress in his life and bad outcomes than most people I know.

I wish the best for him. And I wish the pain of everything he's dealt with goes away with ease, but I know it won't.

But no matter what I'm always going to love this little boy. And I can't wait to watch him grow into an awesome young man.

I don't know about you, but my absolute favorite holiday is Halloween. I look forward to it every year. I have a bunch of reasons why I love Halloween. I've noticed that it's more fun as a kid for the candy and dressing up in costumes. As I got older I discovered, that I love just the feeling of it. Here's my list of reasons why.

1. Scary/Gory/Halloween/Thriller movies on every channel.
2. Almost every TV show has Halloween episodes.
3. Halloween parties almost every weekend.
4. Dressing up in costumes.
5. Eating candy at work and/or home.
6. Halloween spirit.
7. Passing out candy.
8. Costume hunting.
9. Enjoying the fact that I have a black cat.
10. Costume contests.
11. Halloween drinking games.
12. Adorable kids in their costumes.
13. Couple's costumes.
14. Carving pumpkins.
15. You can be anything you want.
16. Baking pumpkin seeds.
17. Pumpkin spice everything.
18. Pumpkin pie (which is usually for Thanksgiving but it's delicious at Halloween too).
19. Celebrating Halloween ALL month long.
20. Double whammy when Friday the 13th falls in the same month.

Dear Grandpa,

We’ve never met, because ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) took your life 2 years before I was born. I’ve heard some stuff about you from my dad.

I kind of wonder if we’d have a relationship. If you know what my life is like now. Do you watch over me?

I have a lot of questions when it comes to you. Like, what were you like as a parson? How was my dad’s childhood?

I always wish I could’ve met you. But I have heard some not so good things about you. Mostly from my dad.

He doesn’t talk about you much. In my 28 years of life, he’s probably mentioned you a handful of times.

I’d never seen that man cry. But when he talked about caring for you and grandma after you got sick, there were tears.

It was heartbreaking. It made me really wish I knew you. The kind of person you were. What made you tick.

I also want to know what qualities I got from you. Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never met? I think so.

It’s just hard knowing that you were once here but you haven’t been in 3 decades now. I think the anniversary of your passing is near.

My dad won’t tell me about it though. I think when he thinks about you, he gets sad. He won’t talk about it much though or at all.

Grandma has told me some stories about you and her. The main one though? The fact your families didn’t want you two together and you got married anyways.

I’m not sure what comes after death, but I sure do hope I get to meet you in the afterlife, maybe.

More often than not, the older generation thinks that I'm going to regret ALL of my tattoos. No one can see the future, not even me. So how would they know?

The two most common questions I get when people discover I have tattoos, are: What happens when you're older, and start to regret them? What did your parents say?

Okay, first of all; when I turned 18, my parents didn't have the right to tell me what I could and could not do with my body.

And besides, my mom and I made a deal when I was 14. As long as I waited until I was 18 she would pay for my first tattoo. So of course that's what I did.

Second of all, my tattoos are a part of my history. When I'm older and look at one of my tattoos and remember the same feeling I had when I got it, I won't regret it.

I love all of my tattoos, no matter what. I can't say I know what will happen in the future.

I really don't appreciate anybody, not just the older generation, thinking they can tell me how I'm going to feel about something in the future.

If I regret any of my tattoos, that'll be my own fault.

I originally, got them because it was how I'm feeling at the time. Or just the place I was in when I got it. Or something that I knew I wanted to remember forever.

Do you have any tattoos? If so, what's the significance? I have a handful of them and they each mean something different.

I'm proud of each of them though. I can see the only reason for regretting any of my tattoos is if they were done poorly. Hopefully that's not the case.

But then again, I probably wouldn't regret it, but I'd be upset with the artist. And wouldn't want to ever get work done by them again.

Be proud to show your ink!

I had a particularly interesting conversation with someone recently. Want to know what it was about? Optimism, essentially.

He had stated that he used to be optimistic like I am. I asked, “What changed?” He said, “Nothing worked out.”

I had to let him know that nothing worked out because something else is meant to work out in the future.

Maybe I’m too optimistic. But what would I be if I wasn’t optimistic? Cynical? Pessimist? I’d rather be too positive than too negative.

I’m not a religious person by any means, however, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.

As for me, none of my relationships have worked out but that’s probably for the best. Moving across the country a couple years ago didn’t work out either. 

But for anything that doesn’t work out, I choose to look on the bright side. I just haven’t met my prince yet, or he’s not ready for me. 

As for the moving across country twice thing, I had so much fun over there. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

I’ve learned something from each thing that doesn’t work out. And I can keep those lessons with me in everything I do.

I try to stay positive even in the bad days or when bad stuff happens. For example, “Yeah, I got yelled at by a patient today, but they weren’t mad at me per se.”

I hope everyone tries thinking of the positive. It does make life better because than you’re not so negative about everything. And you’re not bringing anyone down.

I was friends with someone who was negative about everything and complained about everything. It made me not want to be friends with her anymore.

But that’s not to say that you can’t ever complain. Venting and complaining all the time are completely different. 

I first met you at my first billing job. You tried really hard not to show me the real you until I'd been there at least a month.

I started noticing things about you. The way you'd act towards me and my coworkers. The way you'd talk to us sometimes. Or even the way you'd talk about us behind our backs.

I was almost afraid to mention anything to another coworker, for fear that it might just be me or fear that my coworkers liked you and that they would tell you I said something.

But one coworker casually said something about the way you treated her. And that's when I knew, you did it to everyone.

And the only way you were able to talk to us that way, because you were the office manager. And we had no HR department to report you.

When I was offered to transfer across the country, I jumped at the chance to get away from you.

Fortunately for me, one of my other coworkers was going to be there too. I was ecstatic that we both would be rid of you by at least 3,000 miles.

But that didn't mean you weren't going to try making our lives miserable from across the country.

There was one time in particular, that I'll never forget, you treating me like a child. We were getting ready altogether for a lunch with Subway you had ordered.

We didn't have any clean dishes for us to use so you said to me, "Let's wash them!" Well, one of my coworkers was already washing a few dishes.

And she mentioned just washing the dishes herself. So I left to the conference room where the food was.

You came storming in, scaring the crap out of me and my coworker, Kelsey. And you said, "Faith, when I say to wash the dishes, wash the dishes!" Then you left.

Kelsey and I just looked at each other stunned. We couldn't believe you were that pissed off because I didn't wash them. I was so pissed at you.

When we finally sat down to eat. I just sat there quietly with a napkin and a little sandwich.

I knew you knew how pissed I was when you handed me a plate and said, "Here, Faith, have a plate." I just said, "No thank you. My napkin is fine."

This is just one of the many times you went out of the range of normal employee/manager boundaries.

Once we got an HR person, we were thrilled. Maybe this person would be able to help us. But we were wrong.

Anything we complained about to her she'd just turn around and tell you. Which is completely illegal and we could've turned her in for it.

But we didn't want you to retaliate against us for it because you did that a lot. And any time we'd mention what you did she'd just say, "Well, that's just how she is." There's no excuse for the way you treated us.

Honestly, I hope you've changed your ways because I'd hate for anyone to feel that uncomfortable around you because of the way you treat them.