Author: Jessica Anderson

Because you’re known to wear the best Halloween custom every year. 

Leo 

(July 23- August 22)

As a Leo, you are very bossy and determined. You are also fearless, confident, and charismatic. The lead characters of different movies would fit your personality best

Best Ideas: Merida, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Moana, Captain America, Thor

Virgo (August 23-Sept 22): Virgos are known for being brainy and analytical, but still skeptical. You are also known for being tidy, honest, and a total perfectionist.

Best Options: Hermione Granger, Monica Geller, Beyoncé, the Beast, Bill (from IT)

Libra 

(Sept 23- Oct 22)

 If you are a Libra, you are known for being graceful, popular, and sociable. Sometimes, you might even be considered gullible, but still trust worthy.

Best Choices: Mary Poppins, Princess Anna, Lumiere, Cogsworth

Scorpio 

(Oct 23-Nov 22) 

Scorpios are passionate, assertive, and creative to a fault. They might be aggressive and stubborn, but only because they are so loyal.

Best Ideas: Voldemort, Snape, Pocahontas, Megara, Mulan

Sagittarius 

(Nov 23- Dec 22)

You are energetic, likeable, charming, and bold. You are also known for being blindly optimistic and philosophical

Best Choices: Sirius Black, Joy (Inside Out), Rapunzel, Princess Leia, Donkey (Shrek)

Capricorn 

(Dec 23-Jan 22)

As a Capricorn, you are known for being serious and patient hard workers. Sometimes you can be pessimistic, but it’s only because you like to look at life realistically.

Best Options: Queen Elsa, Kate Middleton, Dumbledore, Tony Stark

Aquarius 

(Jan 23- Feb 22)

You are known for being artsy, independent, creative and generous. You might also be distant and rebellious, but only because you are caring.

Best Ideas: Phoebe Buffay, Frida Kahlo, Hercules, Flynn Rider, the Mad Hatter

Pisces 

(Feb 23- March 22)

Pisces are always emotional, sensitive compassionate and romantic. They can be moody and irrational, but they are still able to charm easily.

Best Options: Alice, Luna Lovegood, Aladdin, Maui

Aries 

(March 23- April 22)

Aries are strong willed, independent, bold and adventurous. While they can be naïve, hot tempered, and childless, it is all for the best

Best Choices: Jasmine, Wonder Woman, Rosie the Riveter, King Triton, Hercules

Taurus 

(April 23- May 22)

You are persistent, stubborn and patient. You might be strong willed, but you are open hearted and protective of the ones the matter to you

Best Options: Katniss Everdeen, Rachel Green, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom

Gemini 

(May 23- June 22) 

As a Gemini, you are lively, humorous, playful, and clever. You might be scattered, shallow, and brainy but you are inquisitive and love to learn.

Best Ideas: Weasley Twins, Harley Quinn, Catwoman, Spiderman

Cancer 

(June 23- July 22)

Cancers love to love people. Family is No 1 and are total homebodies. They of course can be introverted, but still will step up when needed.

Best Choices: Molly Weasley, Mulan, Elastigirl, Peter Quill (Guardians of the Galaxy), Draco Malfoy

Read more of Jessica’s articles here.

Life is a total bitch, it is. Whatever is happening right now seems to be the end. Life has beaten you down so far that you don’t think you can ever get up. But you can. So here is my letter to you. Read this before you choose to end it all.

You feel like no one cares and no one understands exactly what you are going through. Your friends don’t hear your cries for help and your family thinks you are being dramatic. Maybe your significant other is “tired of your bullshit”. Whatever the case may be, it’s not true.

If you can’t think of anyone else, know I care. You might have no idea who I am, but perhaps you waved to me as you drove by, or maybe you told me to have a good day at the grocery store. Maybe you simply just smiled at me in class.  Even these small things impacted me, and I will forever care.

The battles you are facing are things that other people couldn’t even imagine. Your strength is greater than you even know. The honest truth is this: it is a miracle that you are still standing after all the shit you have faced.

Here are a few things to think about before you choose this path:

• How your friends, family, and even total strangers will absolutely never move on from this.
• How you have survived every ‘worst day of your life’ up to this point. You can survive  this one too. 
• You’re not broken, you don’t need to fix yourself, and you are not worthless.
• There is help, there is love, and there are people that care
• Even the worst day of your life only has 24 hours
• Most importantly, think of how many people you have the ability to impact, but you have to be alive to do so.

These things aren’t to say that what you’re going through isn’t real and it shouldn’t cause you pain. Part of being human is going through the ups and downs, feeling good and bad things, and struggling. But please, I am begging you, do not end it all.

My guess is, you can’t control most of the bull shit you are dealing with. You can’t control that somedays your depression takes over. There is no way you can control the actions of the people around you that make you feel worthless.

Don’t let things out of your control make you end your life. I promise that it WILL get better. Right now it seems like there is no hope, but I know there is. The only way to get on the other side of this hell is through. It really fucking sucks, but sometimes you gotta just power through.

Most of all, I want to remind you of how truly badass you are. You have had a lot of bad days, and you have survived every single one of them. Every time life gave you one more hit, you stood up and hit back, harder.

So today, I challenge you this: sit in your mood, feel whatever you are feeling. But do not let it overwhelm you. No matter what you are facing, there is a way out. Today, live just one more day. That’s all I’m asking for. One day at a time. 

Please don't give up, you matter.

If you are in crisis, there is help available. Please text "HELP"  to 741741.

To see more of Jessica's work, click here.

Today is a bad day, it’s okay to admit that. There isn’t anything wrong with saying that your world is falling apart.

Today feels like the last straw, the last piece of thread, the last bend before you break. Maybe you lost your job or lost your significant other. Perhaps you just lost someone important. Or you might just feel like everything is falling apart.

Today is a day you feel too much. You cry at the slightest thing and get angry at the smallest mistake. You feel too much when you want to be happy, but can’t understand that emotion nearly as well as you should. You feel as though all that you are feeling is just overwhelming.

Life seems to always kick you when you’re already down on the ground. It can’t ever be easy, or so it seems. I wish there were words I could tell you that could take away this pain, but I know I can’t. I know there aren’t a lot of ways to feel better right now.

It’s okay to sit in your mess. You can feel like total shit and it is okay to have bad days. Just please, don’t stay there. Eventually, you have to get up, brush off the dirt, and move on. The world may seem like it is falling apart, but perhaps it is just falling into place. Maybe this overwhelming mess is just the way that life is showing you how strong you are.

Not to say it won’t be one hell of a fight to survive, but it might be a fight that is totally worth fighting. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Right now this feels like it will killed you, but I promise that you are going to come out stronger than ever before.

I know you are feeling so incredibly alone right now. You need more support than ever before, but, you have never felt so isolated. I want you to know that you are not alone.

I am here to sit with you. I will fight your battles with you and will do my absolute best to support you in all ways. Please don’t give up this battle. I know it seems hopeless and pointless, but I can promise that it will get better. There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel in life.

After all of that, I won’t tell you to have a good day. I will tell you to simply have a day. Embrace whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to struggle and to feel like absolute crap. Take care of yourself, and let others take care of you. Just have a day, a day to be whatever you need it to be. 

But please, don’t stay here. Sit on rock bottom, but then get up and brush it off. I am here for you and always will be. You can survive.

First, let’s get one thing straight…

You raped me. That's what happened. We didn’t have sex or hook up. No. You took advantage of a drunk girl that wasn’t conscious enough to say no. 

You tell your friends you scored that night, I tell my friends how you stole a piece of me. You high five all your friends when you take another girl to bed while I shut my friends out because they don’t understand. 

Whatever you say or do to make yourself feel better, I hope you never forget that you raped me. I know you don’t feel remorse, but that doesn’t make it any less real.

I used to hate you, but I just can’t anymore

I have every right to hate you. I am allowed to despise you for what you did. This is how I handled your actions for a long time. 

Every time I saw you, I felt my throat burn with rage and a pinch of shame. But I can’t do this anymore. 

It's exhausting to hate you. It’s so tiring to stay up at night wishing how I could unmeet you or undo that night. Sure, a part of me still hopes you burn in hell, but the rest of me is tired of hating you. You aren’t worth my energy and you never were.

I will forever blame myself, even though I know you're at fault

I know it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask to be raped. No matter if you tell yourself my outfit was too revealing or my actions told you that I wanted you, we both know that I didn’t want it. 

I blame myself for drinking and partying too hard. I blame myself for not paying more attention to my surroundings. But really, I should be blaming you — the piece of shit that saw a drunk girl as an opportunity to score, even when she said no. 

I have to live with it, but so do you. You have to live knowing that you raped and almost took the life of a girl who did nothing to you.

You took more than you could imagine from me that night

Yeah, you took sex from me. But you did so much more. You took away my trust because now I wonder if every guy I see is like you. 

You took away my joy. After you got done with me, I tried so hard to end my life. Because of you, I thought I would never be worthy of loving or happiness again. 

You took away my friends, too, because you went and told everyone that I was making it all up.

The one thing you didn’t take from me?

My voice. You don’t get to have my voice. I will speak up about what you did, even if you deny it. I will use my voice to speak up for the thousands of other men and women who can’t. 

You silenced me for too long, but now I am a fire that can’t be put out. It took me a while to realize that despite everything you took from me, you didn’t have the power to take away my ability to make a change.

You're a big part of my memories, but not my life

There will probably never be a day that I don’t think about you. I’m sure I'll still have flashbacks to that horrid night, even when I am happy and successful. There might not be a time when I don’t see the ramifications of what you did. 

But, there will also never be a time where I let you control me again. I spent too much time being afraid. You don’t get that power over me anymore. I will be happy, despite what you did and even in spite of you. 

Last but not least, fuck you.

Read more of Jessica's articles here.

If you are in crisis, text "Start" to 741741 or visit RAINN. 

Take a shot every time…

The team you are not cheering for scores.

The team you are cheering for messes up

Someone double dips into the chip dip

You have no idea what’s going on and just want to have fun

You realize you don't even like football

Take a sip if…

Your team scores

A beer commercial comes on

Someone yells at the TV

A commercial plays twice in a row

“Deflate Gate” is mentioned

Someone cusses out a quarterback

Take two shots when…

The ASPCA commercials come on

A singer messes up the words

You run out of pizza and wings

Somebody tries to start a fight

Someone spills their drink

Lady Gaga makes inappropriate gestures

You are just here to watch the commercials

Chug it all as soon as…

You realize tomorrow is Monday and you have to go back to work

The game is almost over and you don’t really have any other reason to drink’

Someone throws something at the TV

Your team loses

Your team wins

Anyone cries over the results

Someone mentions polotics

The Super Bowl is a wonderful reason to eat too many wings and hang out with friends. Even if you have no idea what’s going on, it’s a great time to take more shots than you can remember!

Read more of Jessica's articles here. 

The only good thing about adulting is your excuses actually check out. 

Unlike when you were younger and your friends would see through your bullshit lies and force you to hangout anyway.

1. “My dog has diarrhea.”

Dog, cat, fish, whatever. Animals are way more important than going out.

2. “I can't go, I just took out Harry Potter from the library again.”

Finally someone understands the importance of staying home to read a good book.

3. “I had a long day at work/school, I neeed to decompress before I jump out the window.”

For real, work sucks.

4. “It’s Monday, the Bachelor is on.”

Yup.

5. “I’m a broke ass bitch, and so are you!”

We work all day and still have no money.

6. “I have sooo much homework.”

This only works if you’re in college, but good enough.

7. “I need to clean this shithole, my parents are coming tomorrow.”

They can't know my life is falling apart.

8. “My parents are here.”

Ugh.

9. “I already took my pants off.”

Bra off + pants off= not going anywhere

10. “I have a bottle of wine in my fridge and it's calling my name.”

Can't afford to drink in a restaurant, so I choose to black out at home.

11. “I promised a friend I would edit her paper.”

Again, only college time will work for this.

12. “I need to meal prep because I'm fit AF.”

And I need to get over myself, but still get those #gains.

13. “I have literally the worst migraine ever”

Not even Advil can help you at this point.

14. “I’m having a movie marathon, alone.”

Just a girl trying to cry and fall asleep, you got a problem with that?

15. “There is a great online sale I can’t miss.”

When you're broke, you gotta buy what you can

16. “I have a FaceTime date with my parents.”

It's better than them visiting.

17. “My little sibling has an event I'm getting dragged to.”

Even if I’m not going, she has one.

18. “I don’t have any clean clothes or quarters to do laundry.”

BAB: Broke. Ass. Bitch.

19. “I have to work early tomorrow.”

Actually an adult thing.

20. “Na, I don’t want to go.”

Honesty is key!

Growing up is great, but it sucks when you can’t say your mom said no. The best thing is, the people you use these on will understand and not even judge you.

Read more of Jessica's articles here.

You're insanely independent 

At most points in your life, your parents spent a majority of the time dealing with your older or younger siblings. You learned how to do most things on your own, since your siblings all had a million other things going on. You can now cook, clean, help yourself with homework, and even get transportation to places you need to go.

A majority of your stuff was hand-me-down

There’s nothing wrong with re using clothes, but when you become aware of what you're wearing, it becomes a lot less cool to wear your sister’s old t shirt. New toys were rare, you just got the box from storage that had been well used by your older siblings. Some of them were falling apart and others had questionable substances on them.

You grew up fast

Being the middle child meant you always had to keep up with the older siblings. You couldn’t be left behind. For a while, you were the youngest, so you had to grow up enough to play with the older kids. You played with the older cousins, siblings’ friends, and older neighborhood kids.

The older you got, you seemed more mature than most kids your age, because you were always acting older than your age. You also had to help take care of the younger sibling, so you are used to being an adult.

But still act young

Eventually, you were no longer the youngest and soon became the middle child. As the middle child, you were able to play with your little sibling and then go out and hang out with people your age and still be the most mature. You still like to spend your days alone watching Disney movies, but when you are out with friends, you are the most responsible.

You’re basically a chameleon  

Blending in is your thing. You can fit into most situations, and a majority of people might not notice you. This is both good and frustrating. Sometimes, it is great to be able to blend into any situation. Other times, you just want some attention.

Fake Confidence is your thing

As a younger sibling, confidence was never a needed thing. But as an older sibling, you have to have enough confidence to lead someone else and to make them believe what you say, both good and bad. You are great at acting confident, but the second anyone from the outside tries to tear you down, you crumble.

You can get away with anything

Since your parents were always busy focusing on your older or younger siblings, so it was pretty easy for you to fly under the radar. You always watched what your older sibling did wrong and learned how to do it without getting caught.

You can negotiate with anyone

A later bedtime was an easy thing to get from mom and dad. Now that you are in the adult world, you use your creative negotiation skills to get what you want. You use your charming personality when necessary, but you can also have a commanding side. It all works together to get you where you want to go.

It’s hard, but it’s the best

Growing up in the shadow of your older sibling while taking care of your younger one definitely had its hard times, but you learned lessons that other people don’t learn a lifetime. You wouldn’t change your status for the world. You may not always be thankful for how you had to grow up, but you definitely realize it shaped you into the best person possible.

Like what you read? Follow Jessica on Facebook.

It is almost the new year, which means at midnight all the couples will be showing their love and starting the new year together. But what if you are a single pringle? There are still plenty of ways to bring in the New Year, even without a kiss at midnight. 

1. Eat your favorite snack.

Kisses and falling in love are both great, but have you tried popcorn with extra butter?

2. Take a shot or two

A shot, or a few. Just drink all of the bottle.

3. Take a selfie with the perfect lighting

Get all dressed up, take the perfect picture, and then post it. 

4. Go to sleep early.

Partying until the wee hours of the morning is a great way to socialize. But there are few things that top getting a good nights rest and waking up like it is just another day. 

5. Treat yo’ self

Take a bath, do a spa day that goes until midnight, make a pan of brownies and watch the ball drop in your pajamas. 

6. Cuddle with your pet

Love might leave you, but dogs and cats last forever. 

7. Group hug with some friends

Even if they were planning on kissing tonight, third wheel and group hug instead.

8. Party with only single friends

If no one has someone to kiss, it makes being single a lot easier

9. Ignore that it is even a big day

Watch a movie or whatever it is you would do on a Saturday night and then wake up the next morning like nothing important happened.

10. Make a list of resolutions that you know you won’t complete.

It’s the thought that counts, right?

No matter how you celebrate it, New Years can be fun. If nothing else, be thankful that 2016 is finally over and we survived it. Here’s to a better 2017!

Let’s start with the bad, these are five things you should never say to anyone, including yourself, in a tough spot.

• ‘It’s going to be okay’

They know it’s going  to be okay. They know that this storm cannot last forever and there will be rainbow that will make all of this worth it. That’s not what they need to hear. When they are In the middle of fighting an uphill battle, they need you to stand beside and fight with them. They don’t need you standing on the sidelines cheering them on and telling them they can do it.

• ‘I completely understand’

They know that you are trying to help. But even though you may have gone through a similar situation, it is not the same as anyone else’s, so no. You do not understand. There might be times when they want to hear your story, but in the middle of their worst day is not the time for you to tell about it.

• ‘People have it so much worse than you’

That means nothing. You are telling them they can’t be sad because their reasons aren’t good enough. By that logic, they shouldn’t ever be happy, because there are people who have it so much better than them, too. There certainly are people who are worse off than them. But in their situation, this is their own hell. To them, this is  rock bottom.

• ‘Just get over it’

This is the least helpful thing to say to anyone, ever. Do you think they are sitting in their own pity party and trying to stay at the lowest point? No, they’re not. They are legitimately struggling. If they could just get over it, they would.  

Now for the better phrases. There is no perfect thing to say, and every situation will be different, but these are a good start. 

• ‘I will be here to support you’

Thank you. They might not say that at the time, but that is exactly what they need. They need to hear that someone besides them is going to fight with them. They probably won’t have a ‘list’ of ways to support them, but there will be ways. Be creative in how you support them. 

• ‘Your feelings are valid’

Whatever the situation or person, when they are down in the dumps, their feelings seem ridiculous. Sometimes the best thing to hear is that what they are feeling isn’t stupid. Even if you don’t completely agree that their feelings are real, it’s always helpful to hear.

• ‘I can’t understand exactly what you’re going through, but I’m going to go through this with you’

Since no situation is the same, this is the closest statement to ‘I understand’. When they are down, they might not be able to explain what it is they are feeling, so that can make it even harder to understand. Just be there for us. Sometimes, the most you can do is sit next to them in complete silence.

• ‘Take your time to heal, don’t rush it’

Since it’s almost impossible to just get over something, time might be the only way to actually heal or get through the storm. It’s better to heal healthy and in our own time, rather than rushing it to end up worse off than the beginning. Time changes things, but it’s important to still try and heal ourselves.

• ‘Bad days happen’

There will be good days, bad days, and awful days. There is no way to control the kind of days they have, but it is good to have support on the worst of them. There might be a long time of good days, but a few bad days will happen. There is no way to avoid them, but its okay to tell them there is nothing wrong with them!

This list isn’t complete, and it may not be exactly fit for every single person or situation. Most importantly, don’t say any of this if you don’t absolutely mean it. If there are no words that seem right, just say that and then be there to support. 

Lena, you have made news quite a few times for your willingness to speak up about whatever is on your mind. When you have something to say, you aren’t afraid to make sure everyone hears it. You are a wonderful author and actress. There is a lot of amazing things you have accomplished. Your story is beautiful.

But let’s talk real here…

As amazing as you are, you are not the face of feminism. You are not the person I want people to think of when I say I am a feminist. You are the opposite of what most feminists are, and what they strive to become.

Feminists don’t wish they could have an abortion. It’s one thing to be pro-choice. But it is a completely different matter to wish that you had the option to go through the pain of making that choice. You are a survivor of abuse and assault, why would you wish for more pain? Feminists wish that women would have the information necessary to make a well-informed choice, and then have the freedom to act on that choice.

Feminists aren’t racist.  While you may not consider yourself a racist woman, you certainly have made some comments that are questionable of your character. On Twitter, you posted about a thought that a man was going to rape you. When you saw he was an Asian, you seemed to think he was no longer a threat. You don’t get to stereotype people based on race, that’s not equality. 

Feminists don’t condemn others. You are human. You aren’t perfect and I’m not either. But when Donald Trump won the election, you took it one step too far. It is okay to have your opinion, but it is not okay to say what you said. In an essay you released, you said that the white women who voted for President-elect Trump were, “so unable to see the unity of female identity, so unable to look past their violent privilege, and so inoculated with hate for themselves…” If people cannot generalize the people who didn’t vote for Trump, why can you generalize those that did?

Why do you get to tell me that I am a hateful woman when you don’t know me? You don’t know that I am a crisis counselor, or that I am going to college to become a social worker so I can save kids from the hell they might go through. You don’t know that I am pro-choice and will support any woman’s decision if that is what they so choose.

Maybe we aren’t the hateful ones, but maybe you are. I cannot speak for everyone, but I know I have never personally done what you have done. I have never told a woman who she should vote for and if she chose otherwise, I have never called her hateful. I have never wished to go through a pain I can’t understand.

Lena Dunham, you have the ability to do so many amazing things. You have the ability to inspire young people and to change the world for positive. You are a celebrity, so you will have more chances than most of us. So stop wasting time being racist and wishing for things you can’t understand. Start changing this world and making it better for women, rather than making us all look bad. If you are what feminism is, then I want nothing to do with it. 

Sincerely,

A Feminist