Joe Oliveto, Author at Pucker Mob

The Artist May Be Right: Why Selling Out Isn't Always A Bad Idea

Selling out. As an artist, can you be accused of a more heinous breach of integrity? You’re supposed to value your own voice, you’re supposed to have something to say that is so profound and significant that you would never let The Man stifle your creative expression. And yet, there you are, happily accepting a bigger paycheck in exchange for your creative soul.

If you don’t make your living as an artist, it’s easy to maintain this attitude. However, it’s not exactly a fair mindset. While any creative individual should strive to preserve his or her unique vision, sometimes, selling out is understandable, even if it can’t be encouraged.

That’s because. . .

We’ll Do Anything To Do What We Love

Here’s a theory that’s probably accurate: The vast majority of people making a living as an artist – whether they’re actors, musicians, or filmmakers – didn’t truly expect to be living that life. They pursued their dreams passionately, but like the rest of us, they knew that they were merely that: dreams. And dreams don’t come true that often.

As a result, when they do find that they’ve been able to make a living doing what they love, they’ll do whatever is necessary to hold on to that experience. The thought of losing this life after never actually believing you would live it is too much for any of us to bear.

Sometimes, in order to ensure that doesn’t happen, you need to say yes to people who have ideas which conflict with your creative approach. They have the power to keep you working or lock you out. Making them happy may not always be in the best interest of your art, but it will allow you to keep doing the work you love. So long as you are still working, you have the chance to make the art that is important to you. If you’re unwilling to say yes to someone else’s ideas, no one will ever say yes to yours.

You Can Reach A Wider Audience

It’s a frustrating situation, one you know all too well if you’ve ever spent time on a college campus listening to pretentious pseudo-artists rant about the dangers of selling out: The “true artist” claims that their message – which they never seem quite able to articulate – is too important and sacred to be scarred by the interference of those who would encourage them to sell out. The world simply must be allowed to experience their art in its purest form.

Here’s the problem, though: Such artists rarely get the opportunity to share said work with the world, because their refusal to even consider accepting the input of others limits their audience.

If you studied English in college, you may have marveled at the revolutionary ideas of Emerson or Thoreau. Nowadays, we take for granted the fact that such names are familiar to us, but when those two were originally creating their key works, their purely academic perspective kept them from reaching the people who may have most benefited from hearing what they had to say. Mark Twain, on the other hand, firmly believed in writing populist fiction that appealed to the masses and spoke to them in their own language. He also shared wildly controversial points-of-view but he did so by, in his own, intentional way, selling out.

If you’re truly a skilled artist, you may be able to find a way to get your message across while still, for better or for worse, giving in to The Man. As a result, you’ll reach an audience you might not have otherwise.

We’re Only Human

When we criticize those who sell out, we often claim that they’re more interested in money than it making art.

The problem with that argument, though, is that few of us are any better. We are all human beings. And most evolutionary scientists will tell you that the human impulse is to, so long as you’re not harming anyone else (and even, on occasion, when you are, unfortunately), do whatever you can to maximize your wealth. If someone comes along and asks you to modify your creative vision in exchange for a hefty sum of money, you’ll most likely feel the urge to say yes. It’s not a character flaw, it’s a natural response embedded in us, the animal part of our brain telling us that any option which serves to further ensure our survival is the option we must select.

Some people are capable of turning down such offers, but they are the exceptions. Assuming that you belong to such an esteemed category of human being is fairly presumptuous.

We May Benefit

In truth, when an artist sells out, the art usually does suffer as a result. That said, there are instances in which the input of others actually serves to refine a creative work, polishing off the edges, showcasing the strengths, giving us something much more impressive than we would have had otherwise. Selling out doesn’t always involve accepting the fact your work will be of an inferior quality when all is said and done. Sometimes, it simply means that you’re letting someone else’s point-of-view guide you to the best version of your creativity.

That’s often the best way to create the best art.

How Managing Expectations Makes Dreams Come True

When you were growing up, you were probably told that you could do anything you wanted to in life. Of course, you also may remember that, as soon as you finally hit the age at which you were required to actually decide what profession you would pursue, the story changed. Now, you were expected to be practical, setting aside your dreams in favor of finding a job that would pay the bills.

It’s frustrating to spend your entire life believing that you can follow your bliss, only to have the rug pulled out from under you when your decisions finally mean something.

Thankfully, there are ways in which you can still chase your dreams, while also operating as a functional citizen. These methods may not entirely resemble the plans you had for yourself when you were a kid, but they will allow you to work towards your goals while simultaneously managing your expectations.

Select An Industry, Not A Job

As a child, thinking of what you might want to be when you grew up, you were probably quite specific about the role you hoped to play in the world someday. You wanted to be a rock star, or a film director, or an astronaut. You knew exactly what job you wanted to have.

As an adult, you may come to realize that such dreams ae not realistic. However, you can still work in a field about which you are passionate, even if you don’t do so in the manner you had originally hoped. By focusing on an overall industry that interests you – entertainment, law, the medical field – you can open yourself up to new opportunities. The low-level administrative work you end up doing might not directly align with your original plan, but you can at least enjoy the fact that you’re doing work that means something to you.

And, if you do get a gig in your chosen field, there’s always the chance that you’ll work your way up in the world, finally reaching that dream job after a few years.

Make Daily Commitments

You’re probably not the only person you know who had dreams of doing something big, important, and noteworthy in life. Many of your friends may have also harbored dreams of making it in a profound way.

You’ve probably also noticed that, as soon as those very same friends landed well-paying jobs, they more-or-less forgot about their dreams. They were content to simply collect their paycheck, even if they didn’t feel tremendously passionate about their profession.

Granted, it is true: To be an adult, you need to have a job, you need to make money, and you can’t wait around for the perfect career to fall into your lap. That said, you can still work towards finding that perfect career, even if your current job consumes most of your daily schedule.

Stephen King didn’t become successful because of natural talent. He became successful because, even when working as a teacher, even when working in an industrial laundry, even when raising children at an age where most of us have just grasped how to cook something other than Ramen, he set aside time each and every day to write. Regardless of how busy his day was, he made it a point to reach the commitments he made to himself. The hard work eventually paid off.

And that’s what you may have to do. If you’re serious about living a dream, you can’t (and shouldn’t) expect that someday you will stumble across your big break. No, you need to choose a certain amount of time literally every single day to take steps in the direction of your dream. Your progress may be slow, it may be incremental, but it will be better than nothing.

Look For New Twists On Old Professions

As children, we aspired to work in jobs that we were aware of, jobs that existed at the time. We couldn’t anticipate the fact that there would be new careers we could take an interest in. Technology develops, societal values develop, and as such, the job market changes. If you’re willing to change with it, you can find that the dream of doing what you love may not be so far-fetched after all.

Say, for example, you want to be a film director, but you have no way of breaking into Hollywood. You could focus all your energy on what is essentially – at this point in your life, anyway – an unrealistic pursuit, or you could take your talents and create a webseries. Sure, the budget will be low, the audience will be minimal, and you won’t collect any Oscars, but you can use this method to not only turn a profit following your passion, but also get your name out there. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself because you couldn’t make it big as the next Spielberg, you can take notice of a new, innovative way to do what you love.

Depending on your dream, it may be slightly more difficult for you to find new ways of chasing it, but if you do allow yourself to broaden your horizons, you may find that the options are not as limited as you originally believed.

Manage Your Financial Expectations

Let’s be honest: Those of us who feel passionately about what we want to do for a living also tend to assume that, if we ever do find success in our chosen field, we’ll also, somehow, be rich. The dream job will also bring with it a dream lifestyle.

Unfortunately, that’s probably not going to happen for the vast majority of us, even if we do manage to realize our professional ambitions. And, by setting your sights that high, you’re simply setting yourself up for failure. You’re serving to kill your own enthusiasm, and that’s not going to help you get what you want out of life.

You have to accept the fact that, in this world, if you’re at all able to make a living doing something you care about, you’ve pretty much got it made. You may not own a yacht, you may not live in a mansion, but you can get up every single day and recognize that, while others are trudging off to jobs they hate, you’re enjoying yourself. If you need millions of dollars on top of that in order to feel fulfilled, you should question just how much you truly care about this dream job of yours.

4 Popular Teen Movies That Make No Sense From An Adult Perspective

The teen movie genre is popular because teens are one of the demographic groups most likely to waste their parents’ money going to the movies on a Friday night. Usually, they’re not there to watch the film, but simply make-out without worrying about any adult interference.

Sometimes, though, the picture does manage to capture their attention. It speaks to them in ways that they didn’t think stuck-up Hollywood adults could possibly understand. The themes, morals, and message resonate with their experiences. This film gets me.

Then, those teens grow up, decide to treat themselves to a “Netflix Nostalgia” night, and realize that those movies are much more difficult to appreciate when you’ve got real-world, adult problems. If you decide to revisit any of the following movies, don’t expect to respond to them the way you did when you thought dyeing your hair black was a deep, symbolic gesture of defiance.

The Breakfast Club

It’s a classic for a reason. At a time in life when any social division is enough to turn two potential friends into bitter, hated enemies, The Breakfast Club reminded us that, deep down, we’re all the same: Attention-starved, melodramatic, and white.

(It was a John Hughes movie, after all.)

Going through this phase in our own lives, we felt as though the affirmative message of this movie truly revealed an insight we too often forgot. Whether you’re a jock, a prep, or whatever the hell Ally Sheedy was, you could find a way to, you know, tolerate each other.

Now watch that film as a responsible, mature adult. Some of the deeper concepts the movie touches upon – insecurity, the struggle to fit in, bizarrely cool janitors – are the types of themes that you might be able to understand. However, the primary conflict of the film, that people have different tastes and enjoy different pastimes (which, at the end of the day, are truly the core differences that divided those characters) seems to be a fact that we usually take for granted. When your coworkers enjoy their free time on the weekend, it’s highly likely that their idea of fun is nothing like yours. That doesn’t mean you have to hate each other.

Yes, high school absolutely is very similar to how it is depicted in The Breakfast Club. This doesn’t change the fact that, as with many high school realities, we cringe when we revisit these truths.

10 Things I Hate About You

It’s got Joseph-Gordon Levitt. It’s got Heath Ledger. All we’re missing is a Christian Bale cameo and we’ve got the best Batman movie of all time on our hands.

Still, while there was no Caped Crusader to be found, this movie still managed to entertain many teens who grew up at a time when everyone else in the cast looked like they still might have a successful career.

(Which, to be fair, they all probably should, but that’s another story entirely.)

As an update on “The Taming of the Shrew,” it introduced a young audience to Shakespeare the best way film producers know how: By removing the Shakespeare. Oh well, still better than O.

What we’re left with is a subplot worth appreciating – on a personal note, I pretty much fell in love with Julia Stiles’ character the moment she was on screen, and I’m still impressed that a mainstream teen romcom managed to squeeze in a feminist character who wasn’t a punchline – and one that sums up everything that made our high school relationships the embarrassingly juvenile misadventures that they were.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character only falls for Larisa Oleynik’s because she’s pretty. That’s his motivation for pursuing a relationship with her, and the film rarely develops their connection more deeply than that. As teens, this made perfect sense to us; hormones controlled our impulses at that point, and as such, the notion that we might devote ourselves to a single person thanks to their physical attractiveness was entirely reasonable.

As adults, while we’re well aware of the fact that some lust is necessary in a successful relationship, we also know that getting together with someone simply because they’re easy on the eyes is a recipe for disaster. While it pains us to say this, we must: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, stop being so stupid.

American Beauty

True, it’s not strictly a teen movie, but the subplot involving Ricky and Jane fits perfectly among the other “mildly creepy when you stop to think about it” romances that characterize so many entries in the genre.

Another personal note: When I saw this film, I wanted to be Ricky. He looked beyond physical appearance (but not too far beyond, because, let’s be honest, Thora Birch was still pretty cute). He defied the narrow-minded adults who tried to control his life. He saw beauty in the most unexpected places.

As anyone who has seen this movie recalls, though, said places were “videos of a plastic bag in the wind” and “yep, that’s it.”

Sure, in the hectic world of adult life, it helps to remember that we need to step back every once in a while to appreciate the world around us. That said, returning to this film with the cynical mind of someone who has a career, bills to pay, and a moderately functional social conscience, it’s difficult to watch that infamous plastic bag scene and see beauty. Instead, we see waste. Why couldn’t the person who went shopping that day bring a reusable bag from home? And if they had to opt for plastic at the checkout line, could they at least have had the decency not to litter? Ricky, while you were busy filming that thing so you could one day show your sort-of-girlfriend how sensitive you are, you should have been cleaning that up.

That about sums it up, in fact. The teens in this movie are still trying to find meaning in the mundane. If you’re a teen, that appeals to you, and perhaps rightfully so. For an adult, though, we’re just confused with that mindset.

Scream

Though some would disagree, it’s not difficult to argue that the slasher genre is simply an offshoot of teen movies. The characters tend to be high school students, they tend to be attractive, and they tend to make incredibly stupid decisions. The similarities can’t be ignored.

Scream managed to revitalize this tired, trope-heavy type of film by giving the characters knowledge of the clichés that dominate the “masked-killer murders kids” movies we know and love. The characters in this film were hip, savvy, and well-versed in pop culture.

But they were no more intelligent than their Halloween counterparts. Unlike many other slasher films, the events in Scream take place over the course of several days, instead of one night. As such, the teens all know that a psychopathic killer is on the loose. They know he’s targeting high school students, and they know he dispatches his victims in gruesome, violent ways.

So, what do they do when school lets out? They all get drunk and party at the remote house of a friend, away from adult supervision. Their classmates have just been murdered, but that won’t stop them from celebrating the fact that they’re young and affluent.

Teens watching these movies don’t question this behavior. Whether or not your friends were just butchered, a party without parents is a social opportunity you simply can’t pass up, right?

Adults may have trouble seeing things that way. Seems to us that in the aftermath of the type of crime that opens the film, we might, you know, just chill for a few nights. Not exactly a time to get our drink on.

Why I Opted For A Corporate Job (Despite Having A Teaching Degree)

Many people go to college to earn a degree they’ll never use. This is especially true among students whose course of study doesn’t prepare them for a specific role in the workforce. Spending four years in a Philosophy program may expand your mind, and provide you with critical reasoning skills that will serve you in whatever eventual career you find, but few companies (aside from Google, probably) have openings for Kant Specialist I and Nihilism Associate.

However, if you’re the type of college student who opts for a degree specified to one job in particular, it seems logical that you’d pursue a career in that field. Why would you devote so much time preparing for a certain type of work if you’re not planning on doing that work for a living?

Because, sometimes, you find that the job itself isn’t what you imagined. For instance, I studied to be a high school English teacher; as of now, I’m a freelance writer and Site Acquisition consultant at an engineering firm.

Why haven’t I taken the route I studied for yet? Many reasons, but, I want to address one in particular: Teaching is hard.

I’m not going to defend my choice. I made it for my own reasons. Instead, I’m going to stand up for those friends of mine who did decide to become teachers. As far as those outside of the field are concerned, teaching is the easiest profession you could pursue.

Speaking as someone who has experienced enough of that type of work to know what it takes, and gone on to do work in a significantly different field, I want to dispel some myths about the profession. Such as. . .

You Have Summers Off!

Yes, teachers do enjoy the benefits of summer break, though we can’t ignore the fact that quite a few seek another form of employment during the “off-season.”

However, while I have to work all year long, I do not envy the schedule of an educator. After all, most teachers are responsible for upwards of 100 students. And any given assignment takes a minimum of 15 minutes to grade per student. That’s at least 25 hours of additional work each week. And that doesn’t account for lesson-planning, phone calls to parents, and actually creating the assignments.

Don’t fool yourself into believing that the periods a teacher has free during the day are nearly sufficient to cover that type of work. The vast majority of those tasks are completed on your own time, and unlike those of us who work for a company, teachers can’t charge for overtime. Their “time off” is regularly interrupted by the stack of papers that needs to be graded. While you’re sitting on the couch enjoying a TV show, they’re still working.

Discipline Is Easy!

If there’s one area of teaching that nearly all educators below the college-level struggle with, it’s discipline. To an outsider, maintaining order in a classroom may seem easy: Just yell until the kids shut up.

Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Some students are cooperative, but a good number have absolutely no desire to be in your classroom, and they’ll stop at nothing to let you know it. It’s your job, as a teacher, to ensure that they calm down, sit still, and listen long enough to absorb the information you’re trying to share. If you can’t do that, you’ve failed.

That’s why resorting to the tried and true “go to the principal’s office” method isn’t an option you’re meant to apply often. Doing this may serve to remove a disruptive child who is preventing other students from learning, but it also equates to admitting that you’re incapable of doing your job.

As such, you strive to find a way to keep such students focused. But, when they’re committed to thwarting your efforts regardless of the consequences, there’s not much you can do. You’re dealing with someone who wants to make your life hell, and isn’t afraid of anything you can do in response.

And this is a daily occurrence.

At my job, I occasionally deal with mildly difficult people. Not a single one could ever hold a candle to the average middle-school student.

It’s Rewarding!

While we’re not all able to achieve this goal, it’s fair to say that many of us strive to find a career that fulfills us. If we’re not able to be rich, we at least want to know that we’ve helped people.

In theory, being a teacher is a fantastic way to reach this goal.

In practice, it doesn’t work out quite so well. Yes, there are instances in which teachers are able to reach a student and feel as though they’ve contributed to their growth. Unfortunately, there are many roadblocks standing in the way. You may have the talent and enthusiasm necessary to inspire your students, but the material with which you’re armed – a curriculum more or less dictated by bureaucrats – doesn’t correspond with your skills. The drive to make a positive difference in the life of a child isn’t enough. Your job isn’t to inspire, it’s to fill young minds with the information that the state has deemed significant. Sometimes, the two goals simply don’t go hand-in-hand.

It’s Not Stressful!

Despite the fact that you may realize how much work goes into teaching, you can at least hold on to the belief that the job isn’t particularly stressful, right? While you may have to devote much more time to your profession than others, you can at least know that the people you deal with on a daily basis can’t intimidate you, the benefit of tenure gives you solid job security, and the challenges you’ll face are fairly predictable.

You may think that. But you’ve never had to deal with incessant emails from angry parents who viscerally reject the idea that their child could ever be wrong. You’ve never had to deal with constantly shifting your tried and true methods in order to make sure they conform to the new standards that year. You’ve never had to address situations in which students seem to be suffering from neglect, abuse, or mental health struggles. You’ve never had to confront, on a daily basis, a group of people who are more than willing to attack you on the most personal of levels – insulting your looks, your talent, your character – simply because they’re bored. You’ve never had to properly assess student progress while also accepting the fact that certain students may be suffering from deep stress as a result of their performance in your class. You’ve never had to witness the cruelty of bullying every day, knowing that even if you follow the proper protocol, there may be little you can do to help the victimized student.

Teaching is remarkably stressful. Take it from someone who’s worked in both the corporate world and the classroom.

4 Things to Know About the Struggles of the Chronically Restless

Smartphones. Job stress. Netflix.

For good reason, ours is a stimulated, restless generation. With so many ways to spend our time, and so many distractions begging for our attention, it’s understandable that many of us have a hard time simply sitting still. Thankfully, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, most of us are still capable of winding down to enjoy some relaxation, even if we need a glass of wine (or several) to facilitate this process.

That’s not the case across the board, though. Some of us, whether due to disposition, ADD, or our immediate environment, struggle to ever accept being in a state of non-doing. We’re chronically restless, and it interferes with every aspect of our day-to-day lives.

You Can’t Relax… Like Ever…

Thanks to streaming video sites, people today have more options than ever when it comes time to turn off your brain after you get home from work. The “binge-watching” sessions common among millennials allow us to, when we’re feeling less-than-ambitious, spend an entire weekend consuming a season or two of our favorite show, with few trips off the couch.

If I’m watching TV or a movie with friends or a significant other, I can somewhat justify the experience as a social activity, though I’d much rather be doing something a little more, well, active. On my own, though, I can barely sit through an episode of The Simpsons. And I love that show. Yes, even though it kind of sucks these days.

I feel compelled to do something with my time. Even if I put in a solid day of work beforehand, I still struggle with the idea of simply giving in to relaxation. I become anxious, feeling as though I’m lazy.

Many people probably know the feeling, but for some of us, this experience is taken to an unhealthy extreme.

You Can’t Stand Slow Work Days…

Few people truly enjoy the slow day at work, even though we imagine that we will. While it’s nice to dream that you’ll be able to indulge in a fairly easy shift once in a while, not having anything to do can get boring.

Or, if you’re chronically restless, utterly maddening. You can barely sit still for five minutes without having some task to distract you. How could you be expected to do so for eight hours? You may understand that you should try to accept the situation, but your mind rebels very violently against that idea. Feeling lazy is one of your least favorite experiences in life, and few things make you feel that way more than spending a day at work when you do very little actual work.

You Hate Low-Key Social Activities…

College students don’t hold back when it comes to socializing. They party, they bar-hop, they play beer pong, they do anything but stop and chill.

Well, most of the time… There were some days when a group of us, waiting for everyone else to get out of class, might just sit in someone’s dorm, Family Guy playing in the background, doing, well, nothing. Granted, this was still a form of socializing, but as far as I was concerned, it was Hell.

Sometimes, it was too much, and no matter how rude it seemed, I’d up and leave, fleeing to my dorm and hoping I still had a paper to write or studying to do. Any assignment that had slipped my mind.

When you’re chronically restless, even when you’re spending time with other people, if the way in which you’re having fun isn’t sufficiently distracting, that inner voice begins to tell you that it’s a waste of time.

Your neurotic mind will have none of that.

You Always Need A Project…

Full disclosure: this side of the situation may be beneficial, to a degree, but it can get in the way of your attempts to simply enjoy yourself from time to time.

Most people are trying to reach certain accomplishments in life. We’re not content to be entirely lazy. We want a job, we want responsibilities, we want people with whom to spend our time. That said, upon hitting these goals, plenty of people are able to relax and appreciate their lifestyle.

Not the chronically restless. That feeling exists, whether it should or not.

So, I’m writing a screenplay. And developing a stand-up routine. And maintaining a regular workout regimen. And marketing a family member's business. And curating a reading list dedicated entirely to addressing the academic areas I feel I should have focused on more in school. And self-publishing short stories. And meditating twice daily. And never, ever feeling as though I’m doing enough.

You can’t sit still. You need to feel as though you’re on a constant mission of self-improvement. On the one hand, this does allow you to constantly grow – I accomplished many of my goals simply because I felt I would be lazy if I didn’t accomplish them – but it also prevents you from ever feeling completely comfortable in your own skin.

I mean, if I were comfortable in my own skin, I might get complacent. Then I might drop one of my side projects. Then another. And another, and another, until I’m out-of-shape, broke, and completely useless to society.

See how crazy that is?

4 Common Ways a Guy's Sex Drive is Portrayed on Screen

I am a white male. As such, I tend to see people who look like me very often when I watch a movie or a TV show. This was especially the case in my teen years, when I sat through hours of raunchy comedies about men not unlike myself on a quest to have sex with attractive women.

As far as comedic material goes, that plotline may not exactly be original, but it definitely works; the pathetic lengths that guys will go to in order to achieve sexual satisfaction can provide for some pretty entertaining antics.

The problem is, when such men are made out to be the protagonists of the film, there is an implicit message embedded in the story: “These characters may be inept, they may be awkward, but at the end of the day, nothing they do is wrong.” If you’re an audience member, and you’re not careful, you may end up taking that message to heart.

Unfortunately, many of these movies feature characters crossing lines that should not be approached when you’re striving to lose your virginity. As long as you’re seeking consensual, healthy sex, there’s nothing wrong with trying to have as much as you can. But, despite what movies may tell us men, you should never do the following. . .

1. Spy On Women

It’s a classic scene, one that’s often been updated for our digital age by throwing technology such as smartphones and laptop cameras in the mix: Horny male teens find a way to spy on women in their bedroom, in the locker room, in any place where they might remove any item of clothing.

It’s usually depicted as a humorous moment, meant to illustrate just how much effort these poor saps will put into merely getting an opportunity to see the kind of skin they could easily get access to via a Google Image search. In truth, though, it’s an invasion of privacy, and when movies write it off as no big deal so frequently, some men might come to believe this behavior is reasonable.

2. Take Advantage Of Drunk Girls

If there’s one thing teen movies love more than frustrated men trying to lose their virginity, it’s parties. Parties are where friendships are rekindled, true love is confessed, and, most of all, people get very, very drunk.

As such, the protagonists of such films point out to each other that, if they really want to lose their collective virginity, the party is the place to be. Their reasoning: Girls who wouldn’t normally give them a second thought will be drunk, and in an impressionable state. Thus, sex.

But that’s…that’s pretty close to date rape. Giving someone an intoxicant so they’ll be less likely to say no? Yeah, hard to morally defend that idea.

In real life, if two consenting adults hook-up while they both happen to be drunk, that’s one thing. The way these movies operate, though, the goal isn’t to party and see what happens, it’s to specifically target drunk girls while remaining sober enough yourself to use that situation to your advantage.

In other words, the goal is terrible.

3. Assume You Deserve An Attractive Woman

While most adults end up understanding that the basis for a true, lasting relationship must be a shared emotional connection, in teen movies, the primary motive isn’t to find love, it’s to celebrate lust. The women the protagonists want to sleep with are not prized for their intellect, for their compassion, for anything at all related to their character: They are sex objects, there to look good.

It’s easy to see why this trend continues. The producers making these movies want to reel as many audience members in, and promising thirteen-year-old boys some nudity just about guarantees box office profits.

That said, most of these films end with the, ahem, “heroes” managing to achieve their goal, regardless of whether they are very good-looking themselves. Filmmakers are telling men that, when all is said and done, you’ll wind up with a good-looking woman. Those are the laws of the universe, apparently.

And we wonder why there are so many bitter single guys out there, angry that they can’t date a model.

4. Sex Is Everything

While we’re talking about these movies, we might as well address their basic premise. Sure, as mentioned, there’s a lot of comedy to be found in this type of story, but at the end of the day, telling the teen boys in the audience that sex truly is worth obsessing over can cause them to develop some unfortunate ideas about relationships.

Listen, when your hormones are driving you crazy, you already feel that sex is pretty significant. You don’t need a movie to tell you that it’s the only thing in the world. While some of these films are smart enough to have the men in them learn an important lesson – that true connection is far more important than a sexual experience – the vast majority of them fail to truly impress this point.

Our values evolve thanks to a variety of factors, but the art we consume surely plays a role. If movies are constantly telling boys that sex is the number one priority in a relationship, they may come to believe this.

As such, they’ll struggle to truly appreciate real romance when they find it. Like the guys they watched on screen, they’ll simply be focused on sleeping with the “hottest” girl they can find.

Hectic, But Happy: Why The Busy Day At Work Is Better Than The Boring One

The busy day at work. It’s not something most of us are fans of. Although we understand that, if we’re getting paid to do something, it can’t always be easy, part of us still wishes that we could coast through the entire week without having much tackle do aside from our normal, everyday tasks.

However, if you’ve ever had to slog through a slow period at work – when the client isn’t assigning new projects, or everyone is on vacation for the holidays – you know that, while the busy day may be a challenge, it’s far more appealing than the day when you have nothing to do.

That’s because. . .

It Makes The Time Go

If you’ve got a desk job, for about eight hours a day, you sit in a chair, trying to keep yourself occupied. That’s like, two Lord of the Rings films. When you’ve got work to do, as long as the tasks aren’t too stressful, you can find yourself distracted. You may not be thrilled with having to concentrate on such boring material, but at least it allows the time to pass more quickly.

On the day when you have few to no tasks to accomplish, you’re sitting still for about the same period of time as a hardcore meditator, without the benefit of working towards enlightenment. It’s exactly as much fun as it sounds.

You Earn Your Free Time

Whatever you like to do when you get home for the day, if you’ve got any work ethic at all, you know that you enjoy it much more when you feel like you’ve earned it. It’s difficult to take pleasure in a Netflix binge when you’ve been nothing but lazy for the past few hours.

After a busy day of work, though, you find great joy in exercising, or enjoying a glass of wine, or listening to music. You feel no guilt about indulging yourself, because you understand that you deserve this experience.

You Develop Skills

In any job, if you’re looking to get ahead, you need to make sure that you’re constantly focusing on developing the skills needed to succeed, along with maintaining the ones you already have. If you’ve got nothing to do, though, no work to help you achieve this goal, you’ll find that your talents begin to slip away from you. No matter what your job is, it’s just the same as any other type of skill, whether it’s a sport or playing an instrument. Without practice, you get sloppy, and reduce your own opportunities to improve.

You Avoid Overthinking

A little downtime at work is always a good thing. It gives you the chance to socialize, to bond with your coworkers, to let off a little steam. Unfortunately, you can’t be seen doing this for the entire workday, unless it’s your goal to get fired. As such, when you’ve got nothing to do at work, you spend most of the time sitting in silence.

For quite a few of us, this is a recipe for disaster. Your mind may be your friend in many instances, but when it’s bored, it probably settles into stress-inducing thought patterns that are difficult to get out of once they’ve gained momentum.

The problem is, on a slow day at work, you can’t do much to distract yourself. Most employers block the types of websites you might browse for fun, and even if they don’t, it’s not in your best interest to be caught checking them out in the office. The fact that you have nothing else to do may seem like a valid excuse to you, but your supervisor will probably see things differently.

So, you’re stuck with your thoughts. And those thoughts aren’t always pleasant.

You Contribute Something

While many of us like to pretend that an ideal life would be one that involved no responsibilities, lounging on the beach all day, in truth, we probably realize that in order to feel good about yourself, you need to contribute to the world. Few of us are truly satisfied with being a drain on society. That’s why employment is such a significant key to happiness. Obviously, the paycheck allows you to survive, but the knowledge that you play a role in the world gives your life meaning.

However, you may struggle to feel that way when you’ve spent your entire day at work pretending to be busy. Yes, the fact that you’re still employed indicates that someone thinks you’re valuable, but you might not believe it.

If, on the other hand, your day was one of constant work, with barely a chance to take a breath, you may be drained when it’s all over, but at least you’ll know that you’re contributing in some way.

And, even though we complain about it, that’s what work is. It gives us the opportunity to prove our own worth. Would you really want to relinquish that chance?

5 Signs You're Becoming A Boring Old Person

If you’re in your twenties, you’re not old, no matter how often you claim to feel that way when a song from your childhood pops up on the radio. That said, growing old isn’t something that happens overnight, and evidence that you’re well on your way to that stage can intrude into your lifestyle without warning. One minute, you’re in college, throwing the kind of party that would earn the approval of a rock star, the next minute, you’re adding the local soft rock station to your radio presets.

Yes, as much as we may wish to stay young and irresponsible forever, we can’t stop time from treating us the same way it did our parents. You start to realize this when. . .

Your Hangovers Are Much Worse

As an undergrad, you probably indulged in, let’s say, “excessive” drinking. We can’t recommend that behavior, but we can’t pretend that it doesn’t happen. Your body may not have felt great the morning after such activities, but it was nothing a few cups of coffee and a buffet of dining hall breakfast food couldn’t fix.

Flash-forward just a few years, though, and you’ll find that your hangovers are the kind of day-ruining ordeals that prevent you from doing much more than lying in bed and cursing your own existence. You had your fun, but after a certain amount of time, your body wasn’t going to let it slide without some severe punishment.

Not that it matters that much, because. . .

You Don’t Want To Go Out

If you partied in college, you probably didn’t do so inconsistently. You either avoided that type of social life, or you joined in every chance you got. The nights you decided not to go out were the nights all your friends started to worry about you. Staying in and watching TV when you could be filling up on cheap, terrible beer? Surely something must be wrong.

As you settle into your adult lifestyle, though, you’ll certainly stop going out as frequently as you did in college, and, more shockingly, you’ll elect to stay at home even on days when it is practically your national duty to go out. Young you would never, ever allow yourself to spend a New Year’s Eve on the couch, but now, you’ve found yourself barely able to stay awake until midnight.

Your Conversations Will Be Boring

When you were young, your conversations may not have been interesting – though we’re willing to bet they seemed that way at the time – but at least they weren’t filled with the types of bizarre words you associate with maturity. We’re talking insurance plans, mortgages, wedding ideas.

When you start to get old, though, you’ll come to realize that, more often than not, a gathering of you and your friends often results in discussions of the merits of renting vs. buying, the types of health coverage you all have, and various other topics that would depress the hell out of your younger self.

As soon as one of you mentions having kids, you know it’s all over.

A Fun Weekend Involves Shopping For Furnishings

When you’re old enough to have your own place, you want to decorate it a little differently than you did your dorm room. That beer pong poster seems out of place now.

As a result, you and your significant other decide to spend a weekend shopping around for furniture, decorations, and cute salt-and-pepper shakers that could make for a conversation piece at parties. Because, again, boring conversations.

Subjecting yourself to this is bad enough as it is, a sure sign that you’re becoming boring. What’s worse, though, is when you realize that such trips make for the most fun weekend you’ve had in a long time. Somehow, you’ve decided that this indescribably dull activity is actually stimulating enough to put a smile on your face.

Speaking of which. . .

Farmers Markets

Farmers markets exist so you can buy groceries outside. That’s it. Aside from the occasional wine tasting kiosk sandwiched between “Ted’s Famous Turnips” and “Kyle’s Locally-Sourced Kale,” it’s a supermarket with a bug problem.

And when you start to get old, you love the hell out of that place. You eagerly await the announcement of the farmers market schedule in your area, making sure that you set aside several Saturday afternoons each spring and summer so you can indulge in the fact that you will never have real fun ever again.

Because that’s what being old is all about, apparently.

Keep Growing: Why Having Goals Is A Key To A Happy Life

While we all differ in our ambitions and aspirations, most people have one thing in common: We want to live a happy life. Unfortunately, we’re not sure just how to go about accomplishing this, even though the overabunance of volumes in the Self-Help section of any bookstore would seem to indicate that the paths to fulfillment are countless.

The truth is, much like fitness, we tend to overcomplicate the issue. Assuming you don’t suffer from depression, or are not mired in circumstances beyond your control, living a reasonably happy life is fairly simple. One of the key ways to do so is to constantly have goals toward which you strive. By moving forward towards your dreams, you. . .

Give Yourself A Reason To Wake Up

As you probably know, getting yourself out of bed in the morning can be a task that requires more effort than you’d like to exert. Even if you don’t exactly dislike your job, or your classes, or whatever else is pulling you away from the comfort of sleep at such an hour, you’d still much rather prefer to revel in the stress-free world of unconsciousness.

However, when you commit yourself on a daily basis to working towards a goal, you give yourself a personal reason to get up in the morning. You are eager to start the day, knowing that you’ve got hours ahead of you during which you can continue to make progress in pursuit of an accomplishment. As a result, you set a tone for the rest of your day that involves enthusiasm, joy, and an inherent sense that, even when times get tough, you’re still on the right path.

Give Life Meaning

Around the time we hit our teen years, when we become preoccupied with the kinds of thoughts that are perfectly suited for a Jaden Smith tweet, we start to wonder what the meaning of life is. Of course, asking this question implies the assumption that there is some sort of higher power which dictates said meaning; if there’s no order to the Universe, life is inherently random.

That’s not exactly a comforting thought. It’s difficult to find pleasure in living if you’ve convinced yourself that your life is essentially pointless.

On the other hand, you can take it upon yourself to impose your own sense of meaning on life. Giving yourself goals is an easy, yet effective, way of doing so. When you decide that you’re going to dedicate yourself a particular ambition, you lose that sense of confusion that accompanies those nagging “What does it all mean?” thoughts.

You’ve decided for yourself just what your life will mean.

Give Yourself Pride

Whether it’s a little kid who just aced a spelling test or a young executive who scored a major promotion, most people experience a familiar sense of pride when they achieve something impressive. While too much of this emotion can make us complacent, there’s nothing wrong with a little self-congratulation every now and then.

Of course, if you’ve got nothing for which to congratulate yourself, it’s not easy to come by this experience. Goals, though, allow us to always have potential moments of pride waiting in our future. When you put your mind to a pursuit, reaching the finish line will provide you with the opportunity to feel good about yourself.

We could all use more of that in our lives.

Be Your Best Self

Life is truly stressful, and it can be difficult at times to live up to our highest potential. Most of us grow comfortable with settling for a version of ourselves that simply gets through the day, contributing just enough to persuade others that we’re not a drain on society.

If, on the other hand, you’re always working towards goals, you adopt a life philosophy which encourages you to be your best self. Life, for you, becomes a story of constant self-improvement. By living in this way, you increase the odds that you’ll end up sharing your gifts with the world; not only will you be the type of person who makes yourself happy, you’ll also increase the happiness of others.

Discover New Passions

Life should never be boring, but the truth is, for most of us, it gets that way. The inherent excitement and wonder that we felt as children tends to dwindle as our sense of possibility narrows. We follow fixed patterns, never giving ourselves much to look forward to.

Goals can reverse this process. By focusing completely on what you will accomplish, you give yourself the opportunity to discover new passions. Maybe you’ll decide that you want to be able to run a marathon within two years. The training regimen you adopt in order to reach this goal may lead you to discover that you had a hidden love for running that was never known to you until you decided to pursue this goal.

A happy life consists of many elements, but if you’re simply going through the days with little inspiration to grow, you’re limiting your ability to be deeply fulfilled. Through your goals, you can give yourself a reason to live.

Why Working Outside Of Your Field Is One Of The Best Things You Can Do For Yourself

Do what you love. It’s pretty sound advice, assuming that what you love is not a drug. To be happy in life, it helps to do work about which you are passionate.

Unfortunately, reality does not always permit us to make this choice. Whether we like it or not, there may be instances in which we end up working in an industry completely unrelated to our interests, major, or values.

While it’s easy to perceive this situation as a negative one, the truth is, taking on a job in a field you’re not familiar with can offer up some fairly substantial benefits, assuming you make the conscious choice to acknowledge them.

By working outside of your comfort zone, you. . .

Develop Confidence

Working a job that relates to your life goals isn’t necessarily easy; the mere fact that you enjoy it does not guarantee that it won’t be demanding. We’d all like to be confident in our work, but actually achieving that state of self-assurance is a struggle.

If, however, you’ve already thrived in a position that didn’t have much to do with your previous training, you have solid evidence that you’re the type of individual who can manage to learn new skills and adapt to a challenging work environment. It seems that after college, many of us assume our degree has transformed us into a specialized person, only capable of operating within a narrow career path.

We forget the fact that we still possess the ability to learn. Rediscovering this truth allows us to develop a confidence that will make our entire professional life much easier.

Appreciate Other Goals

In any given moment, it is entirely possible to step back and ask yourself about the various values that went into creating the experience you’re having. Driving down the highway? Thank a civil engineer. Surfing the web? Some computer genius probably had a hand in what you’re doing right now. Out to dinner? Your food may have been prepared by someone whose lifelong goal was to be a chef.

Very often, we get so caught up in our own perspective that we forget how significant other types of work are. By learning to appreciate these different approaches to the question “What do I want to do for a living?” we can, quite simply, enjoy an enriched experience of the world around us.

Working a job in a field you know nothing about is a fantastic way to experience this. You’re surrounded by people driven to reach goals you never give a second thought to. You get to understand the work that goes into something you may take for granted.

Focus Your Priorities

While most of us have a dream job, the degree to which we pursue a career in our chosen field varies. Some of us are born with an innate drive to realize our ambitions, while others need outside forces to motivate us.

Working a job you didn’t hope for can be a powerful influence. On the one hand, you may discover that you have an unexpected knack for this type of work; your priorities realign as you find a new goal, one you never considered before. On the other hand, if your job doesn’t inspire you, you’ll feel a stronger desire to start chasing your dream. Every day at work will be a reminder that you need to strive towards your true aspirations.

When you read about successful celebrities, you often find that theirs are rags-to-riches stories. They started with nothing and ended up with fame and fortune. That may have something to do with the fact that they were desperate to escape their circumstances. It gave them the focus to keep chasing a dream.

Working a job you have no passion for can help you gain some of that necessary desperation.

Impress Employers

Anyone who has ever filled out an application for an adult job knows the frustration that accompanies reading the following words: “Preferred candidate has 2-3 years experience in [insert field here].”

How can you ever get any experience when no one wants to hire a newcomer? It seems that barely any employer wants to risk hiring someone who hasn’t done the job before.

As such, you may feel that working in an unrelated industry is a waste of your time; when you do get around to applying to your dream jobs, you won’t have the experience that everyone seems to want.

To an extent, this may seem like a legitimate concern, but you should also account for the fact that a potential employer may very well be impressed with your ability to thrive in a position for which you weren’t prepared. Talent and training are important to a potential boss, but so are qualities such as flexibility and maturity.

If you can demonstrate that you took a job seriously even though you didn’t care about it, you can prove that you’re the type of individual who commits to doing good work, whether or not it makes you feel personally fulfilled.

Employers want to know that they can rely on you to consistently perform to the highest standards of professionalism and dedication, even when you’re not completely enjoying yourself. Working a job you didn’t plan on is an effective way of showing off this trait.