Author: Jordan Nicole

You started the night innocently enough. You were just going to have a few margaritas with the girls.  But you wake up the next morning with little to no recollection of the night before, you’re probably missing a shoe, or your ID, and whatever makeup is left is far from its original location on your face.  While everyone’s experience with tequila is different, it always seems to put its victims through the emotional ringer- what I like to call the 7 Stages of Tequila Drunk.  It’s like the 7 Stages of Grief, except in reverse.

Stage 1: Acceptance  & Hope

The first stage is the calm before the storm if you will. Maybe you had a bad day and you’re ready to shake it off, or maybe you had a good day and you’re ready to celebrate.  Either way, you’re ready to relax and let loose.  You’re excited to have fun and you’re hopeful for what the night will bring.   

Stage 2: Reconstruction  & Working Through

In the second stage, you begin to pick up your drinking pace, and you find working through each drink becomes easier.  At this point, you’re laughing and having a great time.  The shots are beginning to go down easier, and you’ve definitely got a buzz on by now. If your plans were to stay in, you've probably decided to go out, and if you were already out, you've probably made your way to another bar.

Stage 3: The Upward  Turn 

The third stage comes at the peak of the night.  You’ve reached full drunkenness by now and you’re probably dancing, singing (even if there’s no music), and you’re wondering if life could possibly get any better.  Most likely you’re on the prowl, scoping the place for potential because, in this stage of tequila drunk, you start to feel like you need to make out with someone.

Stage 4: Depression

The depression stage of tequila drunk is inevitable, though it may come on faster for some than others.  Somehow, at some point in the night, someone will either say something, or you will think of something, most likely insignificant.  But it will set in motion a chain of events that brings forth the worst side effect of tequila: the ugly cry.  You may feel compelled to tell your entire life story to a stranger, or you may become overwhelmed by a commercial that reminds you of a childhood pet.  Regardless of what provokes it, there always seems to be an emotional purge.

Stage 5: Anger &  Bargaining

This stage may manifest itself in one of two ways.  This is the point in the night where you become angry for no reason, you start to yell or you try to fight someone. Or, you’re trying to work your magic on a hot stranger.  You have completely lost control and you are long gone by now.  You will not remember this part of the night or anything that may happen after.   

Stage 6: Pain &  Guilt

The 6^th stage begins in the morning. You wake up, most likely in physical pain, for which you have no explanation, and chances are you have a sense of fear and guilt about what happened the night before. 

Stage 7: Shock &  Denial

You may have even woken up in an unfamiliar bed. You begin to piece together what really happened last night.  You may try to deny that anything happened at all.  Your friends call to check up on you and fill you in on what they saw.  You’re probably shocked, maybe even appalled. 

You rehydrate and get something to eat, probably something greasy to help that killer hangover. You vow to never drink tequila again. Until next time. And the whole cycle repeats itself again.

Every Thursday we laugh, we fantasize, and oh do we cry, even without wine.  For 13 seasons, Grey's Anatomy has taken us through the emotional ringer but still, keeps us coming back for more. Grab the tissues, here's a look back at some of the most soul-crushing quotes.

"There comes a point where it all becomes too much.  When we get too tired to fight anymore.  So we give up. That's when the real work begins.  To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all."  — Cristina Yang

"Cause you never think the last time's going to be the last time – you think there will be more.  You think you have forever.  But you don't." — Meredith Grey

"If you love someone, you tell them.  Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing.  Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems.  Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there." — Mark Sloan

"There's this person inside my head.  She's brilliant, capable.  She's me, only better.  And I'm afraid I'll never become this person." –Meredith Grey

"You were like coming up for fresh air.  It's like I was drowning and you saved me." –Derek Shepherd

"I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go of.  It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have.  Some of us say we'd rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all." –Meredith Grey

"Please, don't chase me anymore, unless you're ready to catch me." –Callie Torres

"I will probably hurt you again.  And you'll hurt me. And I'll come right back to you again when you do.  I accept the risk because you're worth it. Because you matter to me. Because I love you. And I'm not going anywhere." — Meredith Grey

"You didn't love her.  You just didn't want to be alone.  Or maybe she was just good for your ego.  Or, or maybe she just made you feel better about your miserable life., but you didn't love her.  Because you don't destroy the people you love." –Callie Torres

"It's not hard.  It's painful but it's not hard. You know what to do already. If you didn't, you wouldn't be in this much pain." –Miranda Bailey

"Don't let what he wants, eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are." –Cristina Yang

"We lose those battles as often as we succeed.  The key though, win or lose, is to never fail.  And the only way to fail is not to fight. So you fight until you can't anymore. Never let go. Never give up. Never run. Never surrender. Fight the good fight. You fight even when it seems inevitable. You're about to go down swinging." Amelia Shepherd

"I can't think about anything or anybody and I can't sleep…I can't breathe, I can't eat, and I love you. I just I- I love you all the time, every minute of every day." –Lexie Grey 

"We're supposed to feel. We're supposed to love. And hate. And hurt. And grieve. And break and be destroyed, and we build ourselves to be destroyed again, that is human. That is humanity, that's being alive. That's the point. That's the entire point. Don't avoid it. Don't extinguish it." –Owen Hunt

"If you aren't willing to keep looking for light in the darkest of places without stopping, even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed." –Amelia Shepherd

"There's an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted, once all the houses have been ripped apart, the wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop. The sky will clear in an instant and only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it." –Meredith Grey

She's got a tough exterior and an even tougher heart to match. There's never been a day in her life where she's questioned who she was or if she was doing the right thing. 

Because she trusts herself, she takes life by the horns and can handle absolutely anything it throws at her. And she knows better than to allow a weak moment to consume her, so you'll never find tears in her eyes. 

She's the girl with a savage soul and a strong mind.

1. “The moon doesn’t consider one phase better than another; she just glows, equally stunning at each turn. Why should we be any different?”  -Christen Rodgers

2. “She is both, hellfire and holy water.  And the flavor you taste depends on how you treat her.”  –Sneha Pal

3. “She remembered who she was and the game changed.”  –Lalah Deliah

4. “She will blaze through you like a gypsy wildfire.  Igniting your soul and dancing in its flames.  And when she is gone, the smell of her smoke will be the only thing left to soothe you.”  –Nicole Lyons

5. “She will rise. With a spine of steel and a roar like thunder, she will rise.”  –Nicole Lyons

6. “The ghosts of all the women you used to be are all so proud of who you have become, storm child made of wild and flame.”  –Nikita Gill

7. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror.  I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  –Eleanor Roosevelt

8. “She wears strength and darkness equally well; the girl has always been half goddess, half hell.”  –Nikita Gill

9. “You were wild once. Don’t let them tame you.”  –Isadora Duncan

10. “Her soul is fierce. Her heart is brave. Her mind is strong.” –r.h. Sin

11. “I was made to be wild, wicked and free, to carve out my own crazy destiny, to find a place in this world where I can be the most authentic version of me.”  –Christy Ann Martine

12. “Half woman.  Half warrior.  Delicate and strong.” –r.h. Sin

13. “There are only two types of women – goddesses and doormats.” –Pablo Picasso

Most of us have read our horoscope at one time or another.  Based on our birthday, we’ve been assigned one of twelve zodiac signs, i.e. “Girl, what’s your sign?”.  (Does anyone actually say that?) 

We know that the Sun is at the center of our solar system and that all of the planets revolve around it.  But in astrology, we put the Earth in the center, because we are studying the heavens from our viewpoint.

With that said, it takes one year for the Sun to travel around the Earth.  The Sun spends about a month in each of the 12 signs of the zodiac.  The sign that the Sun was in when you were born is your Sun sign. Your Sun sign describes who you are in broad terms, the sign that we identify with most.  This is the sign we look for when we read our horoscope in a newspaper or magazine.

But what you may not know is that your Sun sign is just one part of your horoscope, only a piece of the puzzle that is you. 

You also have a Moon sign, which represents your emotions and instinctive behavior.  Because these are things we tend to keep hidden, your Moon sign may not be as obvious to others as your Sun sign.

Then there’s your Ascendant or Rising sign, the sign that was rising over the eastern horizon at the time of your birth.  This sign is like the first impression you make on others, the traits and characteristics that represent your outward personality.

Just as the positions of the Sun, Moon, and your Ascendant sign influence your personality, the positions of each of the planets also play a role in your horoscope.

Mercury is the planet of intelligence and communication. It affects your abilities to reason, understand, speak and write. 

Venus is the planet of love.  The position of Venus dictates your physical attraction to others, your ability to show affection, as well as your desirability and sex appeal.

Mars is all about physical energy- aggression, sex drive, power.  Mars is the planet of action and passion.

Jupiter is the planet of prosperity and joy.  Jupiter’s position governs success, good luck, and optimism.  If you are a generous person, Jupiter is strong in your chart.

Saturn is the planet of hard work and discipline.  Saturn’s position says a lot about your character and the trials and errors that will strengthen it.

Uranus is the planet of change.  Uranus brings about surprises and opportunities in life.  Sudden ideas that spur new creations are said to be caused by this planet.

Neptune symbolizes imagination and illusion.  Dreamy Neptune also plays a role in your mystic qualities.  Fantasy, mystery, compassion, and even psychic ability mark a strong Neptunian influence.

For those of you still mourning the loss of Pluto as a planet in our solar system, you can reconnect with the little guy in your horoscope!  Pluto’s influence in astrology is still being studied, but what we do know is that though he is but little, he is fierce.  Pluto is a planet of death and rebirth.  Transformation. A clean slate. 

There are also 12 Houses of your horoscope, each representing a different category of life.

Horoscopes you may find in a newspaper or magazine can be fun, but there are so many other factors that determine your personality.  Learning about all of your signs and the positions of the planets can tell you so much more about who you are.

From August 12 until September 5, Mercury will be in retrograde. Three or four times a year, you probably see “brace yourself” or “blame it on Mercury Retrograde” posts pop up in your social media feeds, warning you of the dreaded phenomenon that is Mercury in retrograde.  But what is it exactly?

What is Mercury  Retrograde?

A planet is in retrograde when it appears to be moving backward.  Because all of the planets have a different orbit around the sun, their orbit speeds can appear to change based on our perspective here on Earth. 

Think of traveling in a car on the highway.  A car in the next lane traveling faster than you will appear to be moving forward.  As you catch up to that car and travel at the same speed, both cars appear to be still in comparison to each other.  But as your car picks up speed, the other car appears to be moving backward.

In Mercury Retrograde, Mercury appears to be moving in reverse as its orbital speed slows in comparison to the Earth’s.

How does Mercury  Retrograde Affect Us?

 Mercury is the planet of communication. In Astrology, Mercury is the messenger, and rules connections and coordination, travel and technology.  When Mercury is in retrograde, shit can get a little crazy in these areas of your life. Traffic jams, canceled or delayed flights, computer crashes, petty arguments between coworkers – blame it on Mercury Retrograde. (Unless,  of course, these things are happening when Mercury is not in retrograde…in that  case, you’re on your own.)

 Oh, and in case three weeks of this bullshit isn’t enough, there’s also what’s called a “shadow period”, so you can feel the effects of the retrograde a few weeks before and after it happens.

So how do you get through Mercury Retrograde without losing your shit?

 Mercury in retrograde may test your patience.  It’s recommended that you don’t start anything new during this time.  Postpone signing contracts or launching a new project (if possible).

This is a great time to tie up loose ends and finish old business, as well as getting organized to prepare for a fresh start when Mercury begins to move ahead again.

Back up any important data, calendars, computers. Plan ahead and leave early when traveling. Double-check any written forms of communication before sending, and pause and think before speaking.  Prepare to be misunderstood, or potentially misunderstand others.

Embrace Mercury Retrograde as a period to reflect, reorganize, and practice forgiveness.  Clear any physical or emotional clutter that can be weighing you down, and be extra gentle with yourself and others during this time.

First, I want to thank you.

Thank you for being a part of my life, even if you no longer play such a big role.  Thank you for laughing with me.  Thank you for crying with me.

Thank you for all the drinks you poured for me, and all the times you took them away from me. (And those few times you let me make my own mistakes– at least they made for good stories). 

You helped me get through one of the hardest times in my life.  Without you, I’m not sure how I would have made it to the other side of it all.

Most importantly, thank you for helping me rediscover myself.  I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that people are put into our lives to teach us, challenge us, and better us.  There is no doubt that you have helped to better me. 

Unfortunately, once I began to reconnect with who I really am, I realized that I needed to move forward alone, relying less on you, and more on myself. 

There is no denying that I have spent most of my life defining myself by the relationships I was in.  I could never be alone because I based my self-worth on the amount of love and attention I was receiving from whatever guy I was dating at the time. 

You loved me even when I thought I was unloveable, which taught me to love myself, even without the guy.  You showed me the importance the most valuable relationship, my relationship with me.

I decided I needed to take some time to really work on my relationship with myself, so I distanced myself from all of the people and things that could have kept me from truly focusing on me.  That included you. 

Though we may not see each other as much or talk as often, know that I am always rooting for you, and I am always a phone call away.

I’m not sure if things will ever go back to the way that they were, but know that you will always have a special place in my heart, and my life is forever changed because of you.