The time without you has been excruciating. I fight the urge to reach out to you every single day because I know the outcome would likely just break my heart further.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen or spoken to you, but I can't count how many times a day you run through my mind.

I'm captivated by the stunning sunrise on summer mornings and I stop to think of you. I want nothing more than to send you my love as I watch the sky being overtaken by vibrant colors.

I don’t even start to type a message anymore; I know it’s not worth it, it would only hurt me in the end. I don’t know how you’re doing but I hope you've found your happiness.

I wanted so badly for something magical to happen to us. I couldn’t picture spending my life with anyone but you and that hasn't changed. You were someone I waited for, but could never have.

Reaching out to see how you’re doing may sound like nothing, but for me, it's absolutely everything.  I don’t know if you still have my number saved let alone if you’d respond. 

I realize how juvenile this whole situation is, but I still don’t believe I'm prepared to reach out and deal with the potential negative outcomes.

Denial is still rooted deep within me. I desperately cling to some hope that the universe will bring us back together because I don’t want to think of my life without you. 

Yes, I’ve survived this long without you… but it hasn’t been easy. The slim-to-nonexistent chance that you may come back into my life keeps me going through the day, it's my number one motivation.

I miss you. I miss the way my heart lit up when I saw your name pop up on my phone and the sound of your laughter. I miss everything about you.  

For now, my only option is to send you my love from afar. Until my heart is ready to receive the consequences of reaching out, all I can do is miss you.

I don't know what it is, but something about you keeps pulling me back. No matter how much time has past since we said goodbye, my heart and my soul just won't forget you.

From the moment I saw you I knew you were special. I’ve been waiting for someone like you to come into my life and there you were. 

It felt like our souls connected on a deeper level and instantly I felt like I was at home.

This love I feel for you is different than anything I’ve ever felt before. I finally felt complete. My soul was reaching out for you and deep down at the pit of my stomach, to the core of my heart; I knew this love was like no other.

There was an unspoken connection we shared.  

There was no need to speak or say a thing. I felt and saw your pain that you’ve experienced from the past but I also caught a glimpse of that smile that can shine bright as the sun. 

I knew you had some healing to do and I was there for you every step of the way, as you were for me.

But now that it's over, I feel like I have to heal all over again and it kills me that you aren't there to help me. 

I can't help but look for you in every guy I meet. 

The more I fight it the worse it gets, I want so badly to let you go but part of me is refusing. And that's why I think this can't be the end. It's hard to explain when it's something so deep inside you telling you this isn't over. 

But I'm terrified to try again. My heart can't take another rejection, I don't think it'd survive it. 

And will it be different or will things go back to how they used to be? These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

But I do know if my soul is trying to gravitate back to you again, it’s something I need to listen to. 

I don’t want it to be too late where I’m no longer able to be the light that you need. I can only hope that the universe is calling us to be together again.

And this time we will both be ready to accept a deeper type of love that we have never experienced before; accepting that our souls are meant to be.

Faith is powerful, listen closely and do what your soul tells you to do. And just maybe your prayers will be answered. 

And everything will finally fall into place where it was supposed to be all along.

It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing. It’s almost a guarantee that you’ll enter my thoughts at some point. And you stay there, haunting me. 

I can’t stop. I can’t get you out of my mind. No matter how hard I try to divert my attention to think about something else, you take over.

It was a relationship right on the brink of becoming real. We were sitting on a ledge, you were ready to fall, but I held back.

And I hate how I messed things up so bad. I was scared to show you how I felt. I didn’t want you to see the real me. I couldn’t let you see me vulnerable. 

I didn’t want to seem weak in your eyes. I was afraid that you’d walk away. But ultimately, that was the reason you left. Because I couldn’t show you the real me.

You may never know the impact you have made in my life. I saw bright beautiful colors I never knew existed. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I constantly think of how you’d still be in my life if I was just myself. I don’t understand why I felt the need to be someone I wasn’t because I thought it would impress you. I regret a lot and wish I did things differently.

I should have let down my walls and given it my all. I was outside of my comfort zone feeling emotions I never felt and because of that I didn’t know how to be myself.

Should I reach out to you? Can I just tell you how scared I was to let you in? Apologize for how much I messed things up? Can I ask you for one more chance? 

All these questions linger in my mind endlessly throughout the days. I feel helpless. I don’t want things to be over before they even got a chance to start.

My one chance and I lost it.  And now you’re just a memory that continues to overtake my mind reminding me of what I’ve lost.

I’ve been holding on to the idea of us working out for a while now. I know we aren’t ever going to be a “thing.” We are never going to have a happily ever after. But somehow I am hoping fate will step in.

You crossed my path at the perfect moment.  

How am I supposed to let go of you? I don’t understand how things went wrong but in more ways than one, I feel that I can’t call it quits just yet.

Just like I need you…you need me too. You need me more than you know right now. 

We need each other and because of that, I can’t quit you. I know you need my help. You need me to show you some light, a glimmer of hope that life will get better. 

You need someone in your corner to root for you and cheer you on. And you need to hear that somebody also needs you too.

Maybe we were only meant to be in each other’s lives for a little while, but I don’t believe our time is up yet. 

Something tells me that you need me to help show you the way. And as much as it would seem easier to walk away from you as you pull away, I just can’t.

You haven’t given me anything at all to hold on to…..nothing at all to hope things will work out. But something continues to tug on my heart strings and tell me that I shouldn’t give up on you.  

Maybe you don’t know how to quit this dysfunction we have going either and you know there might be something to hold on to, but you just haven’t realized it yet. But my heart won’t let me quit you, I can’t and I won’t. 

And I will continue to hold on to faith knowing somehow our worlds will collide again as I wait for you.

You were it for me, I knew it the moment I turned around and saw your face. You had me before you even said “hello.” The moment our eyes met, something just clicked…it felt like you were ‘the one.’

But now my heart is torn into pieces and it seems like it’s impossible to put it back together.

I had to let you go. I had to say goodbye before you could hurt me even more. My heart just wouldn’t be able to take it. I had to protect myself before I got in too deep. 

I knew you weren’t going to say goodbye. I knew the plan was just to drop off the face of the earth and not say one word to me. 

Ignoring me was your way out, but I needed a goodbye.

I needed closure. I needed to say my peace in order to accept that you may never come back to me.

It hurts you know. It hurts to know that you would never respond to my goodbye. And that you probably just brushed it off like it’s nothing. 

My feelings weren’t important to you. You couldn’t even respond after months of seeing each other. I invested in you because I saw something so incredible, andI wished you could see as well. But that investment never paid off. 

You couldn’t even say one word to give me closure.

So I did it for me. I reached out to you and told you how I felt. I did it knowing that at the end I would have no regrets, no ‘what if’s and it would allow me to move on.

I needed you to know how I felt. I hated you in the end. I thought you were an asshole. And that, even so, I also felt sorry for you because you still couldn’t move on from your past. 

Right now saying goodbye to you is the only option. I need to heal and move on. 

I left the door open for friendship, for you to reach out to me if that was something you may be open to in the future. But now it’s out of my control. It’s your turn to try. And I’m praying that your eyes will open up, that you’ll let go of your past and give me a chance.

But for now, I need to let go of you and the idea that you were ‘it’ for me. It’s painful to know I may never see you again or talk to you or even hear your voice but it’s all out of my control.

It may not be the closure I wanted, the conversation I longed for but it will do, knowing I poured my heart out to you.

As much as it kills me knowing you want her, it's probably killing you even more. My heart hurts for you. I see that pain in your eyes you carry with you. You desperately try to move on but for some reason, you hold on to memories of her.

I can only imagine what happened that day she broke your heart. The heaviness and pain that you still feel after all these years still control your happiness. 

No matter how much you try to move on and let someone into your life, your reaction is to pull away.

Maybe this should upset me that I don’t have a chance in hell because you’re still living in the past; that your love is for another girl who has moved on long ago.  

I have every right to be upset, but I know where I stand. I am the girl who you're just stringing along for no purpose at all. But I’m not upset with you. 

I can’t imagine how that feels to love someone so deep. Maybe that’s the reason why I have allowed you to string me along for this long. Maybe my feelings are that deep for you that I just can’t let you go the same way you can’t let her go. 

Maybe what you’re holding onto is the idea of her. The idea of what the two of you could’ve been. 

The idea that she was supposed to be the one for you but it turns out she wasn’t yours to begin with. Maybe you are holding on to her because at that point in your life, that was when you needed her the most but she fell through and let you down.

But what I do know is she wasn’t good enough for you. She didn’t know how to love you. And that’s what torments me the most… knowing I can love you if you just let me in. 

Give me a chance without pushing me away. Allow me to help you heal. Allow me to love you. And allow me to give you what you deserve.

It pains me to know that the feelings that you have for her will not go away anytime soon. Someone that loves you for you is standing in front of you, if you could just let me in I know I could be your rock, your purpose and the light you need to move on.

You deserve so much more than to live in the past. You deserve a future with someone that can love you for all your imperfections.  

Remember I'm not her. I'm not the one who hurt you. I'm not the one who betrayed you or let you down and left you when you needed someone the most.  

I'm the girl who will build you up, bring you happiness, and be your partner in crime.

Please don’t punish me for what she did. Don’t let your heartache stop you from the love that’s right in front of you. I’m here ready to love you… but only if you will allow me to.

I am ready to let go of our almost relationship. The chances of us being involved with each other now seem nonexistent. We both invested months with each other just to be pretty much ghosted for no apparent reason other than you are emotional unavailable. Its not easy ending things in silence.

You gave me no reason or closure to end this almost relationship. There was no indication that you were going to push me away when you did. I really thought we had something going for us. I was truly excited to see where this relationship could have taken us. But you chose differently without saying a word.

Everyone has their own opinions on how to handle these situations of being ignored or shall I say ghosted  like stop “Reaching out to them.”” Don’t flip out on them, you’ll scare them off.” or even advise like “get everything off your chest and tell them how you really feel”. No matter what route you take we know in the end it’s likely they won’t respond to you anyways.

It seems to be easy to just let them go and not say anything at all because who knows you may get a second chance with them potentially in the future. You still hold on to that little bit of hope that it was just not the right timing.

 But it’s unfair that you never received the closure you deserved to move on when you developed deep emotional feelings for them.  There is nothing to lose anymore whether you reach out or not. Whatever will help mend that broken heart of yours is worth taking action on.

Just don’t forget if you send that text just do it with class. Make sure they know how amazing you thought they were and how you hoped they could have respected you enough to let you know they were no longer interested in you. But handle the situation with dignity knowing that at the end you let them go with the words you wanted to tell them.

Maybe that glimmer of hope you are holding on to will open their eyes and see your worth and just maybe finally wake up with the words you speak of the final goodbye. Either way always know your true value and worth. If you feel like you want the closure you deserve and the answers to why they left make sure you handle it with dignity.  

“No one can choose who they fall for, when they fall, how they fall, or why" — Us the Duo 

I never expected to fall this hard for you. I didn’t expect my feelings to be this overwhelming so fast. So it was completely devastating when you told me that you aren’t ready for a relationship.

Everything in my life was fine, but then there you came into it and made it amazing. You came along and gave me something to look forward to.

It seemed that destiny placed you in my life for a reason. We were meant to be in each other’s lives whether you’d like to see it or not. Life now wouldn't seem complete without you in it.

I didn’t choose you, but you happened. I don't think my life will ever be as good without you, so…

I will wait for you.

You aren’t ready for what we could become. The many possibilities of us in the future were endless but you weren’t ready to see where life could’ve taken us. 

I told you that I had feelings for you. You said you had feelings for me too. You told me you had many walls up for good reasons though. And that you were a hard person to love.  And then you left.

I knew you weren’t ready from the beginning. I could see your pain and how you tried to overcome it. But I see how difficult it is for you to break down the barriers that hold you back from giving your heart to someone.

I want to be there for you but I think its best I step away and let you heal.

I will be here waiting when you’re ready to open up and let me in. I will be here when you’re ready for someone to pick up the broken pieces of your heart and put them back together.

I know that you may have given up on love but I do believe the universe will bring us together again when you are ready. 

I believe you are worth the wait. 

No one chooses who they will fall for. No one chooses when they fall in love or with someone or why. But I fell for you and because of that, I will wait for you.

It’s complicated……

I hate the fact that I met you so quickly after getting out of a serious relationship. Yes, I dated a couple of guys before you and it was so simple to be myself. But then you came along and changed things. It became complicated when I caught feelings for you. Yes, I admit it was easy to be myself the first couple of times but when I realized how deep my feelings were for you, it became harder to open up and show you the real me.

I don’t know what it is about you that changed my style of being my outgoing, sassy, and fun self but you certainly make me feel reserved. Sometimes I don’t even know what to say to you or how to act because of how nervous I get being in your presence.   My walls have gone back up and my insecurities of being rejected deny me the ability to be who I am around you.

When I asked myself why I act like this around  you? Why can’t I be myself?

 My answer is because I knew the first time I met you deep down; we might actually have something special between the two of us. You are the one.  And the most upsetting thing about this is I am slowly losing my shot at this one time magical experience because of my insecurities.

This is what i want………

I want to get to know you better. I want to build on that connection I feel for you. I want to be that sparkle in your eye. I want to be the person that can repair your broken heart. But how can I be that person when I am flustered around you.

I know deep down you are the person to help me heal that broken heart of mine. I know you are the person that I can create my future with. I know you are the one that will make me genuinely happy. But I also know I am losing you before anything has even started.

My walls of rejection and betrayal have come back up to protect me.  My guard is up and your guard is up. We may want each other but we both are fighting to push each other away faster than the other to avoid reliving past experiences.

It does exist in you…..

I am the one for you. I am the one that will help mend your heart that’s been torn to pieces. I am the one that will give you hope that love does exists. I will be the one that will show you how to live life again to the fullest. But please give me some time and I promise you my walls will come down so I can help break down the walls you have created to shield yourself too.

I want to be myself trust me, I think you would love the real me. But the harder I try the more complicated I become.  I want to show you more of me but it’s scary to be vulnerable around you. I know in my heart you will not judge me but my past is full of skeletons that I am ashamed of. 

We fear the talk about our past heartache and why we both act the way we do with one another. The couple of dates we have had I feel at home when I am with you. My flesh may only see a portion of what I like about you but my soul seriously gravitates to you.  I know in my gut that you were meant for me and I was meant for you. And I am messing the whole thing up.

I don’t want to sound like a crazy person that just falls in love with anyone so suddenly after just a few months and a handful of dates but the feelings that I have in my soul makes me want to reach out to show you that love does exists.

Nothing is easy……

Many people think that when you fall in love with someone it’s simple to be yourself but it’s not always the case. Sometimes your feelings and connection seem so deep that you are unsure how to express yourself and be who you are. You want to be open and show them how much you care but being vulnerable may be the hardest thing to show the one person you love.

Don’t be afraid to tear down the walls that stand in the middle to protect your heart. Fear is never ending but if you do not allow yourself to be vulnerable, you may lose your chance at happiness. In life sometimes we are only given one chance and now that I stand here fearing the fact that I am losing him, I want more than anything to break free from the walls that I have built. To prove to myself I am capable of giving love and being loved.  No regrets are better than not acting at all. Leap of faith is the first step and the hardest part but it’s worth taking when you follow your heart.