Author: Karis Rogerson

Ahh, spring. The glorious time between winter and summer when the weather is actually bearable. It’s a time for new growth, rebirth and more creativity in your love life.

Spring is a great time for going on fun dates. Here are some of the best spring dates we have for you.

1. Go to  the local aquarium  

Technically, you can do this whenever, but in the springtime they’re likely to have outdoor activities you can partake of…like watching seals do tricks or something like that. And since aquatic animals are so cute, you’ll “ooh” and “ahh” and feel lovey-dovey toward each other.

2. Have  a picnic at the park  

Most cities have at least one or two nice parks. Pack a picnic, complete with baguettes, brie and a sparkly drink, spread out a blanket on the grass and pretend you’re in Paris on the banks of the Seine. Very romantic.

3. Visit the zoo  

This is a great activity for springtime, before the summer sun starts beating down on you. You can wander hand-in-hand through the zoo, gazing at the cute animals and wiling away hour after hour.

4. Go to the botanic gardens  

If your city has botanic gardens, you should definitely check them out. After all, what’s more romantic than taking your significant other to a place filled with flowers? It’s like getting them a bouqet of roses, on steroids.

5. Visit your city’s biggest, most well-known landmark   

Whether you live in NYC or Wilmore, Kentucky, there’s bound to be somewhere in your town that attracts the tourists. And while most locals turn their noses up at this, spring is a great time to take off your local-hat and act like a tourist with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

6. Go to an amusement park  

For the express purpose of getting on the ferris wheel, holding each other tight while you climb to the skies, and looking into each other’s eyes in that ooey gooey way.

7. Watch a movie outdoors  

Whether this means going to an event organized by your city or setting up a laptop in the backyard, you can cuddle close to each other on a blanket and watch your favorite movie under the stars. Interlace your fingers under the covers and laugh (or cry) on each other’s shoulders.

8. Take a one-day road trip  

Roll the windows (or top of the car) down, put on some music and just start driving. You’ll have hours in which to chat about whatever’s on your mind, can stop at a quirky eatery on the road, and you’ll come back refreshed and ready to go back to the day-to-day grind.

9. Go to the beach  

Whether you go for the sandy expanse, the sun-tanning and swimming or the beach volleyball, there’s something for everyone at the beach. Plus, you can get into one of those friendly splashing games in the water that are obviously just a cover for flirting. Clearly.

10. April 25^th  

“Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.” Sorry, but there’s no way you can write an article about perfect springtime dates without giving a shout-out to Cheryl Frasier of Miss Congeniality.

Sometimes our words fail us when it comes to talking about how great our best friends are. Let these book quotes do the talking for you (or her) in explaining just why your best friend is so great and why you love her so much.

1. “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ? Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

2. “Two a.m.’ He swallowed, then said, “You know. The person you can call at two a.m. and, no matter what, you can count on them. Even if they’re asleep or it’s cold or you need to be bailed out of jail…they’ll come for you. It’s like, the highest level of friendship.” ? Sarah Dessen, What Happened to  Goodbye

3. “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” ? C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

4. “Being in a relationship, that’s something you choose. Being friends, that’s just something you are. [But] I do pick you. We’ve been friends too long to pick, but if we could pick, I’d pick you.” ? John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

5. “Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” ? Ally Condie, Matched

6. “It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill.” ? Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

7. “I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.” ? J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

8. “When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.” ? George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

9. “It’s bullshit to think of friendship and romance as being different. They’re not. They’re just variations of the same love. Variations of the same desire to be close.” ? Rachel Cohn, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List

10. “I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails.” ? John Green, Looking for Alaska

11. “Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that’s all you can ever ask from a friend.” ? Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a  Wallflower

12. “You had to know a person well to make them laugh like that.” ? Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

13. “A real friend isn’t capable of feeling sorry for you.” ? Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

14. “There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.” ? Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

15. “One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.” ? Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

16. “When you feel someone else’s pain and joy as powerfully as if it were your own, then you know you really loved them.” ? Ann Brashares, Girls In Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood

17. “Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” ? Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You

I went through a phase from about age 12-20 in which I thought it wasn’t “cool” to be close to my mom. I thought it was socially unacceptable to rely on the woman who birthed and raised me, and so I found myself pulling away from her.

I didn’t like to talk to her on the phone, tell her what was going on in my life or let her see that I relied on her. Of course, I usually ended up doing all of the above, but I was ashamed of it. I was ashamed every time I demonstrated a reliance on my mom.

And then, in college, my depression got worse. I’d been depressed throughout high school and had always struggled with my self-image, but in college I began to self-harm and feel suicidal.

It was with trepidation, reluctance and pressure from my roommate that I finally told my mom about this, but I insisted that I was fine and didn’t need her.

Until the day things got so bad that I became afraid of myself, afraid I would actually take my life if I was left to my own devices. On the advice of a counselor, I checked into a local hospital’s psychiatric ward.

That was the beginning of when everything changed. My parents drove from South Carolina to Kentucky to be with me, visiting me for hours every day and staying for an extra four or five days after I was released, just to make sure I was OK.

The change wasn’t instantaneous or noticeable at all until a few months ago, when I realized I texted my mom multiple times a day, talked with her on the phone more than once a week and relied on her advice to deal with problems.

It wasn’t just depression problems, either: for the most part, I don’t rely on my mom to help me deal with my depression. I talk to doctors and therapists, as well as my friends and, eventually, my mom. I began to rely on her for everything.

When I’m lost at Wal-Mart and can’t find the right aisle, I text her a question. When I wake up sick I ask her what to do about it. When I get good news about an article being published or a good grade, I let her know.

I read or make her read many of the articles I write, and she’s read both novels I’ve completed and given me feedback. I always (against my will, usually) end up telling her about my crushes and my friend troubles.

I wouldn’t say my mom is my best friend, though, for two reasons.

First, I think there is a line, and as much as I love Lorelai and Rory Gilmore I don’t believe the intensity of their relationship is healthy in real life. Your mom shouldn’t be your best friend; she’s your mom.

Second, I still have this idea lurking in the back of my mind that it’s not OK to be 23 and need your mom. I have this idea that it’s not socially acceptable, it’s not what the “cool kids” are doing and therefore I shouldn’t do it either.

But because of my depression and the fact that, for a period, I did need my mother to help me through, my feelings have mostly changed. Because I suffer from a mental illness that screws with almost every aspect of my life, I’m closer to my mom now than I used to be.

My mom understands when I just need to put my head down and cry for no reason, when I need to lie down and take a nap, and when I need to be forced out of the house and for a walk.

She isn’t perfect, she’s not my best friend, but she’s my mom, and a darn good one at that.

Let’s all take a moment to thank our best friends. They’ve been there for us — for better or worse, in sickness and in health, kind of like a husband or a wife but without the legally binding contract forcing them to stay.

They’re there to laugh with us, cry with us, plot vengeance with us…and sometimes just to have our backs.

1. When you need to rant  

About your boyfriend, your mom, your teacher, your boss, that dude who honked at you on the way to work…and she listens to you without judgment, taking your side on every issue.

2. When you were having a lonely Friday night  

She put her plans aside and came over to watch ‘90s rom-coms and eat popcorn all night long.

3. When your parents were fighting and you thought they were going to split up  

So you called her crying and she talked you through it, even offering you a spot on her couch if you needed it.

4. When you ended up going to different schools and didn’t know if the friendship would last  

But she promised to send you letters and Skype every week and actually followed through.

5. When you were in a fight with another friend  

And she referred to her as “That Bitch” for the next seven years even though she’d never met her and you guys eventually made up again.

6. When you thought your boyfriend was cheating on you   

She called you up and you plotted your revenge and she made you laugh so hard you forgot his stupid name and face.

7. When you needed a kick in the butt to get over yourself  

And she was happy to administer it, then offer you a hug and tell you she loves you.

8. When your first love broke your heart

You were sure you would never love again but she dolled you up and took you out for a girls’ night, convinced you you’re pretty and that any guy would be lucky to have you.

9. When you had a big test to study for or a performance to ace  

You were worried about it, so she spent all night making flash cards and running lines and making sure you would rock it.

10. When the boy you liked wanted to be “friends with benefits”  

And boy, did she tear him a new one…before buying a pint of your favorite ice cream and letting you eat it, no questions asked, and holding you while you cried on her shoulder.

11. When you didn’t get that job you wanted  

She reminded you of all the reasons you’re not going to fail, you’re a catch for any company and you will find your dream job someday…and if you have to wait tables in the meantime, that’s OK.

12. When you were in a fight with your mom  

And she commiserated while reminding you how much you love your mom and that you really wanted peace.

13. When you thought you were too fat  

She told you you’re perfect just the way you are, but she also told you about this great workout and diet…you know, just in case.

14. When you had a life crisis and didn’t know what to do  

So she talked it through with you, even though you said the same things over and over again, until you felt better.

15. When you just needed her  

And she was there for you, every single time.

To be honest, I’m still reeling. Not just from the words you used when you informed me why you didn’t want to be friends anymore, but also from the two weeks of silence I endured during which my mind ran through every possible scenario. This was before I found out you wanted some space because of how suffocating I am.

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what this means — to comprehend what you’re telling me. I can’t compute — does this mean I’m the toxic friend?

I never really thought of myself as a toxic person. I never really believed that, even as I used the word to beat myself up when I was depressed.

But then you came around. At first, everything was great. We clicked — that’s the only word I can think of to describe it. We just go along really well. And even though maybe I should have known that it was too soon, maybe I should have held back, but I said it — I called you my best friend.

Maybe that’s where the problems started. Maybe I just expected too much of you. Probably you weren’t ready for someone to want to be your friend like that.

Or maybe it was the pressure we got from all our other friends, the ones who thought we were platonic soul mates, who believed in our friendship and its meant-to-be-ness.

Whatever. In the end, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you got rid of me, like you might get rid of yesterday’s trash or a creepy guy’s phone number. You discarded me like I was a shirt you’d outgrown.

I’ve always prided myself on being a good friend. That’s what gets me through the darkest moments — believing that I’m at least offering something good to the world, that I’m not leaving things worse than I found them.

It’s one of the few qualities about myself that I admire — that I’m loyal to a fault, that I’ll do anything for a friend, that I’ll never turn my back or intentionally hurt someone I love.

And you shattered that belief with just one quick text. It probably didn’t take you more than a minute to think up and send, but I’ve spent weeks agonizing over it, crying over it, breaking because of it.

I don’t want to be a bad person — I don’t want to be a toxic friend. I don’t want to be the kind of friend that articles on the Internet tell you to break up with. I want to be the best friend whom you love, the one you call when your own heart is breaking, the one who helps you get through the dark nights.

I want to be the person who helps you overcome your hurdles, the person who talks you through your petty fights with your mom, the person who’s got your back no matter what.

And I thought I was doing a pretty good job of that.

Until you ended our friendship. Until you let me know how toxic I am.

Now I feel like I’ve come untethered, unmoored, bobbing along in the open sea without the frailest of cords to anchor me.

“Hi. How are you? You look nice today. How was your weekend? Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you.” That’s what I wish I could say. What I wish I were brave enough to say the next time I see you.

But I won’t. I’m a coward and its complicated and you’re too beautiful for me to think of anything to say other than something sarcastic or mean.

I hope you know that when I tease you it’s because I like you. That when I ignore you it’s because I’m scared of being too transparent. That when I laugh too loud at your jokes it’s because I think you’re the funniest person in the world, and that when I say something awkward it’s because you make me nervous. In a good way.

But of course you don’t know this, because I haven’t told you.

And I never will.

I like you, a lot.

If the world went my way, I would tell you how I felt, you would reciprocate, we would go on a date and it would be fireworks. You would look into my eyes with that expression I’ve only seen in movies and we would kiss on top of the Empire State Building. Our love would be forever.

Except the world doesn’t go how I wish and I’m afraid that if I told you how I felt you would get awkward, scratch the back of your neck and look off to the side.

You wouldn’t know how to let me down easy without ruining our friendship, or maybe you would be so uncomfortable by my feelings that you wouldn’t want to be friends at all.

That’s OK. I won’t make you do that. I won’t make you choose between me, girlfriend or me, friend.

I’ll choose for you. I choose friendship. I choose being able to talk to you, laugh with you, send you silly articles or pictures from the Internet or tell you when I’m sad.

I'd rather come to you for advice because I trust you and I know you’re smart and I believe you can help me. I choose shooting the breeze and laughing about yesterday’s chaos.

Maybe eventually I'll enjoy talking about our love interests. And maybe I choose the pain of hearing you describe someone else as your “dream girl.”

I choose friendship over nothing, and as much as it hurts me to do so, I think it would hurt me more not to.

You mean a lot to me — I do have a mega crush on you, after all.

I think you’re: smart, funny, handsome, talented, ready to take on the world and change it and I think you’re just about perfect.

I think you’re going to make some girl so happy some day, and I don’t know, maybe you already know who that girl is. I think you’re going to have the brightest future and I want to be a part of that, and if the only way to do that is to just be friends then yeah, OK, I’ll do it.

They say it’s better to take a risk for love than not have love at all, but the thing is — in a way, I know you do love me.

It’s not the way I wish you loved me, but it’s better than nothing at all.