Author: Katie

New Years Eve, here we are again. You've come back to me. The amount of joy I have for you this year is unfathomable. You weren't awful to me, but you weren't quite what I expected either.

Reflecting back on this year brings me great happiness. I've made it to yet another end and beginning. You've brought me new perspectives, talents, and strengths.

I rekindled many friendships this year that I hope to cherish and carry with me into the future.

I forgave people for who they couldn't be, for who they truly were, and who they'd never be. This was one of my greatest accomplishments.

I learned to stand on my own two feet. I finally know what it means to speak out in a crowd. My voice was heard this year; there was no tremble in mine.

I rediscovered myself through writing. I fell back in love with words, all over again. I remembered what I was good at.

2016, I spent a lot of time with myself. I'll never be more grateful for that. It was in those quiet moments that I realized my value and worth.

Don't be fooled, this year wasn't a perfectly painted picture. It was hard and unfiltered. There were many gaps and lose threads.

I lost myself as many times as I found it. I fell as many times as I stood. I walked away and came back again. I found comfort in my tears. I found freedom in the confusion. I found beauty in the pain.

This year I got lost, but this year I was also found.

2016, you were the almost year. The year of almost making it out, but realizing I wasn't quite there yet. My time wasn't now.

This was the year of trying and fighting, for things I wasn't even sure I really wanted. The year of figuring out. 

The year I wanted to find something so badly to believe in. I wanted to find something to consume every ounce of my being. The year I wanted to make someone stay, to fight for me, to choose me. 

I'm hopeful for the turn of the calendar. I'm hopeful for 2017. The comeback year. The year of me. The bravely and unbreakable me.

The unapologetically me. Unfiltered, unprocessed. The version of me i'll never forget and always want to remember. The me who has broken the chains and crossed all the lines I once drew.

I urge you all to do better, to be better. This year I hope you love more and you say more. I hope you are unapologetically you. 

I hope you are brave without your armor. I hope you always show up willing to fight the good fight. 

More than anything, I hope you aren't afraid to fall, it's only then do you learn you were always made to fly.

with grace & love,

To all the ones I had to leave behind, the ones I had to let go of, or let go of me.

To the ones who could no longer love me or choose me, this is for you.

We put so much energy into loving people who don’t love us back and who never will. We waste our time on people who don’t deserve it. 

We are willing to give and give to someone who doesn’t even think twice about us. 

We are loving the wrong people and hoping we’ll be alright.

We crave love and attention. We’re willing to go above and beyond just to feel something, anything.

We are way to used to settling. 

I know I’m not the only person who should have left sooner or left the conversation earlier. We lead ourselves to believe that people change, that we can save them. 

You can’t always save everyone, and you can’t always change people. 

To the ones that couldn’t love me and decided they couldn’t stay, you have given me life again. 

You have taught me to love myself before I try and love another. I am stronger on my own than with you by my side. My heart is stronger, my mind is free. 

I believe that every person that enters your life leaves a piece of them with you. They are now a chapter or a page of your life. 

Some people take up more pages than others, but at the end of they day, they shape you, mold you, and better prepare you for when the good stuff comes.  

I am not bitter about anyone who I shared a page with, or a chapter, or story. I know what I want and what I’m willing to settle for because you have all taught me that I deserve better, I deserve more. 

I didn’t need your validation. 

Someone will love me, someone will love you more than the person who couldn’t.

If I ever saw you again I’d say thank you. Despite the way things ended between us and the many things left unsaid, I’d thank you. Years have past and I'll never forget you, but I’ve moved on. I’ve let you go.

No longer does my heart beat for you or my mind race about you. I don’t love you anymore and I haven’t for a while. So, thank you for being my first love. For showing me what it feels like to fall for someone. Thank you for teaching me how to care about another soul. Thank you for allowing me to let my guard down. Thank you for being my first heart break too. Thank you for hurting     me; for allowing me to be vulnerable and to fall apart. Thank you for teaching me how to feel and how it is a very vital part of being. Thank you for walking away and choosing someone else over me. Thank you for teaching me not to settle and to want more and better for myself. Thank you for breaking my heart and teaching me a lesson in return.

I’ve bottled up all my bitterness and set it assail. I’ve learned to be happy without you. I’m a new person now, someone you’d never recognize and I can thank you partially for that. 

I wish you nothing but the best of your life. I hope you're happy and I mean that.