Dating nowadays is so messed up. I watch old movies and find myself wishing relationships were the way it used to be filled with opening doors, going on lots of dates– no late night calls, or basing it on sex. Relationships used to be all about effort and honesty.

Today, we’re misguided. It is not about putting in effort anymore, it’s turned into hookups and friends with benefits. This generation is more into casual sex than committed relationships and I want no part of it.

I would rather someone take me out to lunch and have small talk than have sex one night and not hear from them the next day. I want someone to show me how much they care about me– not just about what they can do to me in bed.

When was the last time you went on a real date and talked face to face? Not a text or a Tinder message, not a hangout just to have sex. When is the last time you had a heart to heart conversation with someone you really cared about? Not just kinky flirting with a stranger.

When’s the last time someone made a genuine effort to get you to like them not just get you in bed? We get so stuck behind our phone screens that we forget to put effort into actually getting to know someone.

Back in the day, flirting was asking someone on a date and buying them dinner. Telling them how beautiful they look when you go to pick them up. Now, flirting is liking someone’s picture and sexting. Everything is so sexualized we forget about the simple things.

Connections became superficial. You like someone for what’s on the outside because you don’t know what’s on the inside. You don’t know their passion or fears. You just know how good their selfies are and what they did ask Friday night.

Social media has changed relationships completely. Past relationships used to be something you had to talk about and figure out through long talks. Now, you can just check their Facebook and you will find out everything you need to know about their ex. So you start to compare yourself to the last person they were with and suddenly you don’t feel good enough.

Scrolling through an Instagram feed, all you see is happy couples that look like they have the perfect relationship. You don’t see all their flaws and struggles. What you see is one-sided. Back in the day, Instagram didn’t exist, you only saw the reality of the relationships so jealousy was never a problem.

We expect love to be easy. For it to be like the movies and always be love at first sight. So as soon as things aren’t perfect, we run the other way. Our generation can’t handle the effort a real relationships needs.

We have gotten to use to tinder finding us people instead of us looking for ourselves. Someone seeing our Instagram selfies instead of seeing us for who we truly are. They slide into are DM’s instead of asking us on a real date in person. Asking “what’s up?” by text instead of “what’s your biggest fear?” in person.

This hookup culture is all about no love, no feelings, no commitment or emotional attachment, and I want nothing to do with it. I want a genuine love, but it is getting harder and harder to find someone who is willing to not follow the stereotypes and have a real relationship.

What this generation is calling ‘dating’ is just a hookup culture. So for now, I am done trying to love someone who doesn’t know what love is. I will wait for the day, I get treated the way I deserve instead of just being sexualized.

It may work for some, but it isn’t for me. I will wait for the day I am truly loved. I’m so done with this low key love, I’m ready for an intense passion whenever anyone else is.

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This hook up culture, I am not about it. Our generation has become so obsessed with quick and easy relationships, that they have forgotten what love is really about. I may be old school, but I don’t want this temporary bullshit that this generation has become accustom to. I want something that I have to work for that lasts. Not a short term lust.

I am over all the minds games people play. All the lies and dishonesty. People are so shallow these days, the way they make you feel amazing one night but broken the next day. I am done dealing with the people that are only after one thing. I want to experience life with someone not just a one night stand.

I am done only being paid attention to when its convenient and ignored then ignored the next moment. I have more confidence in myself then to sacrifice my self-worth to someone who doesn’t value me. I would rather be alone than be degraded.

It is time I raise my standards, and put my guard up. Because if that is the type of love this generation wants, I will stay single. I want to fall in love but I will wait for the one who breaks this generation’s stereotype and wants a love that lasts. Someone who wants to be with me all the time, not just when it is convenient. That will want to sleep with me Saturday night and wake up with me Sunday morning.

I am done taking a chance on love and losing myself in the process because it ends up in heart break. I have wasted so much time on people who didn’t want relationships. I am done wasting time on people who are uncertain of what they want in the future. I am set on finding a love that last so if you don’t know what you want, take a step back. I won’t give my heart to another person who later tells me he doesn’t want anything serious.

It gets so lonely getting trapped in relationships with someone who treats you less than you deserve. I know my worth, and I am not willing to risk it anymore. If you can’t treat me the way I deserve, I will walk away and find better. It is a waste of time to play games that only end in heart break.

I want to fall in love with someone who will stay by my side for a lifetime. Someone who will stay even when I am hard to love and things get rough. They will be my strength when I feel weak and my light when things get dark. He will encourage me to follow my dreams instead of tearing me down.

I don’t need a man to validate me. I know my worth and I know I am worth more than a one night stand. I deserve more than a man that wants me one night but is gone the next. I am raising my standards, because this generation has standards that are too low.

This hook up culture isn’t for me. So I will wait for the man that matches my high standards. My self-worth is more important than a one night stand. I know my value, and a temporary love isn’t in the cards for me.

The day you stopped trying in our relationship, I put all the blame on myself, thinking that I didn’t deserve you. I convinced myself that it was all my fault that you left me because I was never good enough for you. I thought I deserved all the pain and agony you caused me.

I look back on our relationship and can’t help but see all the good. I remember waking up in your arms and kissing goodnight. Looking into your eyes and seeing that smile. You said you loved me and I believe it.

But, if you truly loved me, then why are you so okay with not being a part of my life? 

That wasn’t love. If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have been able to walk away from me like you did. You would've stuck around through the tough time and fought through them with me. The pain you caused me, you don’t do that to someone you truly love. You said it was “for the best,” but if you meant all those words you said it wouldn’t be for the best.

"The best" would've been growing old together like you promised. It would've been the same unconditional love you gave me when we first met. It wouldn't have been easy, but it would've been worth it. 

Can you blame me for dreaming? I mean you said I was your everything, you said you couldn’t live without me. But, look at where we are now, I am broken and you are doing just fine.

At some point in time, between drowning myself in tears and gasping for air, I realized just how completely wrong I was. You may have broken my heart, but I was the best thing that ever happened to you. I was beyond good enough, but you were just too ignorant to see that.

You didn’t deserve me, I was too good for you, all you did was take me for granted. I gave you my whole heart and all I got in return was a piece of you. I lost myself trying to love you with everything I had to give. I loved you so hard that it consumed my life and turned me into someone I never wanted to become.

I used to have a spark in my eye, radiating happiness. You took that away from me when you made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I tried to become everything you needed and lost myself in the process. I became someone I didn’t recognize, only to be someone you needed but you left me anyways.

You didn’t like country music so I started listening to rap. One day, you said you didn’t like my hair curled so I started wearing it straight every day. Every time we were out you told me that I needed to calm down, now I am afraid to speak up. I lost the outgoing girl I use to be, I don’t know that girl anymore.

Before I met you, everything was so simple. I never second guessed myself or my actions. I used to trust so easily, but now you have lied to me so many times that I don’t even know what trust is. My walls used to always be down, being friendly to anyone who came my way. Now, I forget how to let people in. I loved you with everything I had in me, and you threw it away.

I let loving you completely consume me. I just wanted to fall in love, my intention was never to lose the person I used to be. Looking back, I feel pathetic. I changed for a guy who never deserved me. I was good enough from the beginning, I didn’t need to change who I was to reach your standards.

I guess I need to say thank you because you breaking my heart and walking was the best thing that could have come from our relationship. You left my heart shattered, and I had no choice but to pick up the pieces and repair it myself. I was able to remember who I was and find the girl I use to be.

One day, I will date again. This time I will find a guy who thinks I am perfect the way I am. I hope you regret not loving me the way I deserved. I was the best thing that ever happened to you. You should have loved me when you had the chance. 

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I used to drown in my own sorrow. Now, I accept the fact that my heart was broken beyond repair. I feel so damaged, everything in life right now is complicated. The pain has me lost in life, not knowing what to do next. I am stuck in the moment. 

But somewhere between drowning in tears and sleepless nights, I accepted the fact that I am broken. I can’t control the past, but I can control the future. I have to take one day at a time and deal with the past. 

It's time I heal all the wounds he caused. Forgive him for his actions and forgive myself for being so vulnerable. I have to come to terms with who I used to be if I want to find peace and heal the wounds. So I accept my wrongs, I trusted too easily and gave my heart away without second thought. It was too reckless, I should have given it a second thought. 

All that pain turned into a lesson learned. If you are gonna love,  you have to love with your whole heart without expecting reciprocation. Love should make you feel superior, not fragile. 

It isn’t easy to see the bright side of this pain but I am trying. Slowly forgiving myself for letting people take me for granted. I don’t deserve to be the second choice. I am loyal and deserve someone who is loyal to me. For now on I will value my own self-worth, and set the standard so people value me.I am not scared anymore to stand up for myself. 

My life is a mess, but the difference is now I accept that. Being broken taught me the purpose of my own existence. I used to think being so lost and confused made me weak, but now I see strength in my pain. Gives me a chance to start over and control of all my emotions. 

Life may not have gone the way I planned but it brought me to where I am today. My broken heart had a purpose. It may still be an open wound but now I can accept the pain and learn countless lessons. 

That is why I am swallowing my pride and admitting that I don’t always know what’s best for me. In the end, it all had its own reasoning. I am broken, but I will survive this.

This pain is only temporary. Although my heart was shattered, I will bounce back and be even stronger than I was before. This pain will not define me in the future. I accepted that I am broken and the person I use to be. 

Now I am stepping up and making a change. I am not that same girl that I used to be. From this day forward, I will embrace my pain. I will accept everything that happen so that one day I will be able to completely heal. I may still be hurting, but I am not the girl I used to be. 

Some of us are constantly seeking for meaning in our lives, always trying to be better and expand our horizons.  Although it's great to constantly strive for better, in the long run, it leaves us feeling empty if what we keep searching for is the one thing that doesn't exist, perfection. Our lives could be extraordinary, yet we still feel a void that cannot be filled. 

It's like we're never content with where we currently are in our lives. We can be rich but that doesn’t make us happy. We could have all the friends in the world, but not find love. It seems like nothing is ever enough. We take the good things for granted and focus on what's "lacking" according to our own perception of what a "perfect" life is supposed to be. Will we ever be truly satisfied? Will we ever stop aiming for perfection? 

It is a trend to fit in and be accepted. Every day we are in search of contentment and meaning. Yet, we look for those things in all the wrong places. Instead of being content with ourselves, we look to superficial things that will make us perfect so we can fit into society.  We spend our days trying to reach unrealistic expectations and comparing ourselves to others. Losing everything that makes us unique. Then we wonder why we can’t find meaning. There is no creation in filling a mold. 

The pressures of society put a hole in our hearts that is hard to repair. If you don’t love yourself, someone else’s love cannot replace that.

The pressures of society shouldn’t change who we are as people. We are all different and beautiful in our own way, and shouldn’t conform to be the same as one another. No one can fix our damage but ourselves. The void can only be filled by us making a change. 

Be mindful of the life you choose to live. Be grateful for all the little things and accept yourself. You were blessed with the people and things around you, why take them for granted? Don’t compare yourself to others, they aren’t you. That’s not your life. 

Be happy with how far you come, you have made it this far. Remember what makes you happy, your passion and your dreams. Stop looking beyond yourself, and letting the outside world bring you down. You are more than enough. Be confident in who you are. 

When you love yourself unconditionally, you don’t have to look for validation elsewhere. The pressure from society can’t get to you. Your happiness won’t be temporary because loving yourself isn’t superficial. 

Life has its ups and downs, but loving yourself through it all fills a void that nothing else can fill. Forget about society tells you to be, you are more than enough. Keep your chin up.