Author: Lauren Reed

The girl with hyper-empathy can’t help but feel all the feels when it comes to just about anything. 

Sometimes, a girl’s just gotta cry!…when happy, sad, and sometimes, even when there's no reason at all. 

If you're a girl with hyper-empathy, I’m sure you can relate if you’ve ever found yourself in a puddle of tears after…

1. You're waiting in line to get your coffee and when it's your turn to order, you find out the person before you paid for it. Your faith in humanity is restored. 

2. Derek and Taylor got engaged on Bachelor in Paradise, even though that was the least exciting relationship you’ve ever seen on television

3. Your boyfriend wakes you up to kiss you good-bye before leaving for work in the morning

4. You had a really bad day and suddenly your bestie contacts you to check up on you just because

5. Every single episode of This is Us

6. Your mom sends you a text in the middle of the day just to tell you how proud of you she is

7. You chose to stay in despite an invitation from your friends to go out, and then your friends show up at your house because a night out is not the same without you

8. You drank too much tequila and realized your life is actually not as awful as you thought it was

9. Your brother or sis called just to say he/she loves you

10. A sad AF song comes on the radio. You can’t relate in the least bit, but you can totally feel all the feels.

11. You fell asleep and wake up to find like 20 texts from your man worried about you

12. You walk into the store to get your favorite bottle of wine and find out it's on sale! 

13. A celebrity did something really nice for a fan in need, and seriously, you could not handle it

14. Someone told you, out of the blue, you matter

15. Someone you barely know got married and posted the world’s most beautiful wedding video, ever

16. You didn’t get enough sleep

17. You have no idea why, but it just seems like a good time to cry

I recently read a poster that said, “Sometimes you’re the pigeon, and sometimes you’re the statue.”  On this particular day, I was the statue. 

I felt stuck. I felt emotionless. I felt like I was being shit on over and over and over again. 

This wasn’t the first time I felt this way, and I’m certain it won’t be the last, but this day was a bit more memorable than most.

This was the day after the person I saw a future with, no longer saw a future with me.

This was the day after the person I loved woke up, and no longer loved me.

This was the day after the person who made me feel like the pigeon, turned me into the statue.

Since my relationship ended, I’ve been all about positivity, but I think it’s important to note that it hasn’t been easy. 

I’ve opened up to many and claimed all was good. And, for the most part, I do believe all will be good. It’ll be just fine. 

But, if there’s one thing an ending is good at doing, it’s creating questions and doubts about one’s self worth. I mean, why me? Or should I say, why not me? 

For the most part, I’m a realist. I understand my life is not a fairytale. I understand that when someone says goodbye, there’s a likely chance they mean it. 

I understand he’s not going to show up at my door proclaiming his love for me. He’s not going to admit he made a mistake because, well, he didn’t.

But, I want to hear something else. I want to hear that despite our ending, I am worth it. I am enough.

I talk too much.

I eat loudly.

I eat messily.

I eat too much.

I have an unhealthy obsession with Taco Bell.

I’m impossible to watch a movie with.

I criticized his haircut, or lack there of.

I made fun of his shoes.

I have to be right, even though I rarely am.

I’m stubborn.

I’m a blanket hog.

I’m a terrible singer.

I don’t always clean up after myself.

I’m so many things I wish I wasn’t.

But, at the end of the day it’s my many, many, many, flaws that simply make me, ME.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve obsessed more than enough times as to what I could’ve done differently. I’ve asked myself more than once why me? Or, why not me?

I will honestly probably never know the answer to such questions. He probably doesn’t even know the answer to such questions. It’s often questions like these that have no logical answer. And, that’s okay.

It’s okay to wonder why me, or why not me? It’s normal.

Don’t allow yourself to be stuck wondering for too long.

Because maybe, just maybe, you’re TOO awesome.

While you should probably refrain from criticizing hair cuts and ugly shoes (and probably eating Taco Bell), your flaws make you, YOU. Embrace them.

Don’t be the statue. Be the pigeon.

Someone already loves you despite your terrible singing voice.

I promise.

My last relationship, like many young relationships, was nothing short of an experience. We laughed. We loved. We tried. Unfortunately, we did not always communicate. It’s not that we didn’t want to, it’s just that we didn’t know how. Or, maybe we feared what might happen if we did.

Meanwhile, our many coupled friends appeared to constantly be arguing, crying, and making up, only to do it all over again. We joked that we were lucky we didn’t fight like that. 

With fighting comes making up, and with making up, comes having conversations neither of us knew how to have, conversations neither of us wanted to have.

The first time he saw me cry, he smiled.

We had been fighting (a rare occurrence considering our shared fear of confrontation), and the tears would just not stop. I was a mess. 

I can’t tell you why we were arguing, but I remember looking up through my blurry eyes and seeing him gather strength to move closer to me. He slowly placed his hand on my shoulder and said,

“Hey, at least you care.”

I found this to be a funny way of comforting a person. What did he mean? Of course I cared! I was in the relationship. I stayed. I tried.

I cried all the time!

I cried in sad movies.

I cried while reading books.

I cried every time that Sarah Mclachlan commercial came on.

Wasn’t that enough?

I’m no robot. I feel much, but I overthink everything. I find myself in constant fear that every action I take may prove how much I really do care, as if caring about something or someone is the worst thing that could happen to a person. 

We all want to be cared for, so what’s wrong with being on the caring side of a relationship?

Nobody wants to be the one that cares more.

Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is absolutely terrifying. But, it’s also absolutely necessary in order to have a successful relationship with any person.

I’ll admit, it’s not a common occurrence in my life to embrace having the ability to simply feel something. 

I’ll be the first to convince another “I’m fine,” and the last to admit I spent the last hour crying in the bathroom at work. 

I’ll tell a friend to stop obsessing, despite having spent my entire day waiting to hear from a loved one, a crush, or someone that simply no longer loves me. 

I’ll plan in my head over and over again what I’m going to say to a person who has hurt me, yet the moment I see them, I brush it off without saying a thing.

But, guess what world?

I want, I need, I love, I feel, and I care so much.

Whether it be anger, sadness, or complete joy, embrace having the ability to feel something. Embrace having the ability to express such feelings with another or because of another.

We’re human, and it’s perfectly natural to want, need, love, feel, and above all, care.

Want to feel truly worthy of another’s vulnerability?

Embrace your own.

If you don’t care, why should they?

Like many in their 20’s, I’ve spent much of my young adult life consuming copious amounts of alcohol resulting in days worth of recovering. 

Every single time, I say I’ll never drink again, and every single time, I do.

I’ve been there, done that, and have learned many, many, lessons along the way. 

Beware party animals, alcohol can bring out the wild in just about anybody.

1. It’s true what they say about nothing good happening after 1:00am. Go home and go to bed. Unless you feel like eating regret for breakfast.

2. Beer goggles can and will make even the most hideous person look like Ryan Gosling. Therefore, if he’s ugly when you drink, know that he’ll be uglier when you sober up.

3. Every party group has an annoying drunk friend. If you’re not sure which friend of yours it is, it’s you.

4. If someone offers you an AMF, just say no.

5. Learn from those first times. If too much tequila makes you do out of the ordinary things once, know that it’ll do the same the next time around.

6. If you need to have 5 of something before it tastes good, you’ll likely be tasting it when it comes back up later.

7. Sending those drunken “I still love you” or “I miss you” texts will never result in getting what you want.

8. Booze will make you forget much, but it will never let you forget the jerk that broke your heart.

9. Don’t let yourself believe you truly love someone that you’ve only spent time with drunk. You can love anybody when you’re drunk. Sober love is much different.

10. Just because you think you can dance after a few drinks, doesn’t mean that you should. Seriously.

11. If you’re in the mood to embarrass yourself, you may as well do karaoke. Karaoke is only acceptable when drunk, so go big or go home. Just, please, whatever you do. Don’t sing Journey.

12. If you’ve gotta go, use an actual toilet. There is nothing less lady like than a girl with her pants down taking a piss in public.

13. If intoxicated you questions whether something is a good idea, it is one hundred percent, a terrible, terrible idea. 

14. When you invite a guy over late at night due to your drunken courage, remember, you’re the one who initiated the booty call. He’s not the hoe bag here. You are.

15. Keg stands were not made for girls in short skirts. 

16. Liquid courage is pretty great sometimes, but don’t abuse the power and decide to finally tell someone close to you how you really feel. Some conversations are best had sober, or not at all.

17. Your mom is not the best person to call when your drunk ass is lost, sad, or just simply wants to chat. 

18. The phone is not your friend. 

19. Don’t drink to have fun, drink to have more fun.

20. Your drunk alter ego is cool and all, but sober you is so much better.

At first, I didn’t expect anything from you. I mean, why would I? 

You were supposed to be a fling, a guy I’d likely see here and there and exchange a quick friendly glance with. Some guy that I’d probably never hate, but certainly would never love either. 

I’ve always been so used to doing things for me, because there wasn’t a single person I thought was worth it. Being selfish was working well, until you came along. 

Now, I think about you in everything I do, and everything I say. 

I seriously love you so stinking much, it’s disgusting. And, I certainly never expected that.

I expected you to be kind, caring, and annoyingly cute because well it’s just who you are. But, it wasn’t supposed to affect me. It wasn’t supposed to rock me to my core or make me question everything about who I am and who I plan to become someday.

You were never supposed to be the one to challenge me in ways that I often despise you for. Despite knowing what you say may hurt me, you always tell me what I need to hear. 

As nice as you can be, you certainly have another side. And, to my surprise, I’ve grown to really enjoy that sassiness quite a bit.

Despite the obvious amount of awesomeness I exude on a daily basis, you’ve somehow made me that much more awesome. I had no idea it was even possible!

You’ve even mastered your ability to bring out my sometimes seemingly unlovable side, which has only made me realize how truly loveable I am.

I’m pretty awful sometimes, but you love me anyway. Sometimes, you love me a little extra just because you can.

You laugh at me, with me, and even, sometimes, when it’s hard to do so myself, for me. 

You’ve shown me that love comes in all shapes and sizes and that no two couples express their love the same way, even though, we both agree, that our way is obviously the right way.

You say much by saying little. Sometimes, you say nothing at all, and I understand one hundred percent. 

You’ve proven time and time again that no obstacle is too big for us to get through, as long as we have each other.

I definitely never expected to become anything like all the love-sick maniacs I’ve been known to cringe at, but with you, I just can't help it. Thanks, thanks a lot.

There’s nothing in this world that could possibly prepare us for that one FB notification we all dread. 

When our ex settles down for the long haul. We’re sure she’s a great girl, and they’ll be really happy together, we just can’t shake that salty feeling that this is actually real life. 

1. “I need to call Becky. She’ll FREAK.’ 

2. “If she says ‘aw’ I’ll hang up on her in a hot second.”

3. “This is not ‘aw’ material. His new girl is gross.”

4. “Speaking of… I should do a little investigating myself.”

5. “Good lord.”

6. “Did someone say photoshop?”

7. “There’s no way she looks like this in real life.” 

8. “I’m somewhere between happy he moved on for good and a little bit salty about that ring…”

9. “Sucks for her she has to spend the rest of her life with him…”

10. “Welp, that could’ve been me. Thank God I dodged that bullet.”

11. “He was literally the worst.”

12.  “The definition of immature.”

13.  “I guess not anymore…?

14. “What was so great about her that changed him?”

15.  “How did she possibly get him to grow up when I was unfortunate enough to date that man-child of a human being?”

16.  “Maybe I should add her…”

17.  “No, that’s weird.”

18. “I could like the post though…”

19.  “Nope. That’s worse.” 

20.  “I’ll just stalk from the sidelines, don’t mind me.”

21.  “No, but really, I’m happy for him…”

22.  “Happy that he’s officially completely out of my life!”

23.  “There’s honestly no where else I’d rather be in life than single AF and not tied down to that guy.”

24.  “I definitely don’t need a stupid engagement ring to feel fulfilled.”

25.  “But damn it is nice though…”

It gets harder to feel attractive as the sun comes out and bikini wearing babes take over.

Almost everywhere you go, you see tiny girls with fitted tops, short shorts, and seemingly perfect, beachy hair and it's hard not to envy them.

• There will always be someone who seems prettier, smarter, or just better than you, but you are literally one of a kind.

• There’s no evidence to show that being pretty or skinny means you're a happy person.

• What you think looks good will seem gross to someone else, everything is subjective.

• Your purpose in this world is not to stand around and look pretty, you're meant to be strong, make a difference, and be whoever you choose to be. 

• The extra meat on your bones is just more to love. No guy ever raved about how amazing it was to grab someone’s bony ass. 

• All the time wasted comparing yourself to others could have been spent doing something more productive, like celebrating how awesome you are.

• Nobody ever got into a good college, owned a successful business, or created a healthy and happy family, simply using their looks. 

• You’re not alone. Those girls you envy all envy someone else, who envies someone else. Nobody is really 100% content with how they appear to others. 

• There are many attributes other than looks that make a person desirable. Use kind words, laugh often, practice empathy, and above all else, simply love, because that’s all anybody really wants. 

• Be you in the best way you know how because you’re desirable AF.

Now that you’re older, you’ve probably gained a newfound appreciation for your mom. 

You have no idea how she put up with you as a kid, but nothing makes you happier than accepting that she’s no longer just a parental figure, she’s one of your very best friends.

But like any friendship, there are a few things it pays to keep to yourself.

1. The flower pot she "lost" wasn’t really stolen off the front porch…

2. You just puked in it and decided it was best to get rid of the evidence.

3. You weren't just the queen of sneaking out…

4. You were also kind enough to pass your best tricks down to your younger siblings.

5. Although you claimed otherwise, you knew exactly what that “skunk” smell coming from the neighbor’s house was… 

6. And the only spice in your apartment is definitely not oregano.

7. All those holidays you couldn’t come home due to your "crazy workload" were really spent consuming copious amounts of booze and other substances.

8. And your pre-game rituals cram more liver abuse than any one person should be able to handle into just a few short hours.

9. The real reason you were "let go" from your last job was your refusal to work on a Sunday. Miss Sunday Funday? No thanks.

10. And you spent that money you so desperately needed her to loan you for "books" on alcohol.

11. You lost your virginity in the backseat of her car. Awk.

12. You can’t even begin to count how many Tinder dates you’ve been on…

13. Let alone how many of them turned into all-nighters…

14. But you know you can’t count your sex partners on two hands.

15. You once lived by the motto “anal play keeps the babies away.”

16. You’re no stranger to Menage a Trois (and not the kind that comes from a bottle.)

17. You have a drawer full of sex toys.

18. And you’ve become quite the expert sexter. 

19. Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” basically sums up your college experience.

20. You and your guy tried the best new position in the bedroom last night.

21. All that advice she gave you would've come in handy if you'd actually listened.

22. She really is always right.

The struggle is real: even though I’d rather not waste my energy on friendships that don't make me a better person, some not-so-awesome people I know just can’t take a hint.

I may seem nice, but they have no idea what I really think.

1. I’m sorry, but just because you think I like you, doesn’t mean I actually do. While you’re going on about how much you love our new best friendship, I’m just thinking about how happy I’ll be when you finally walk away.

2. That joke you just made? I’m laughing hysterically because it was so awful, not because you’re actually funny.

3. We always meet at a bar for a reason. I’m not drinking to have more fun, I’m drinking to make you more fun.

4. I don’t talk behind your back because I’ve already wasted too much of my valuable time thinking horrible things about you.

5. When I say “I’m really sorry, I already have plans,” I’m really thinking "I would rather do literally anything than hang out with you." 

6. I “like” your pictures on social media because I feel bad for you, not because they're in any way cute. Not even the best filter in the world could hide your two faces.

7. When you have a zit or blemish, I’m 100% lying when I say "I didn’t notice until you pointed it out." It’s seriously the only thing I can see when I look at you.

8. I was not really sleeping, working, or in a movie when I don't text you back for hours on end. Sorry not sorry, but when I check my phone and see it’s you, I don’t even consider responding.

9. The more you talk, the more I contemplate chopping my ears off. Do you ever stop running that mouth of yours?

10. I wanted to like you, I really did, but it’s exhausting, degrading, and honestly not worth it to put work into a friendship that’s just going to bring me down in the long run. 

It’s pretty difficult to take the high road when guys feed us this much crap. Like please, spare us, and just be brutally honest, we can handle it.

And yet, here we are, he’s trying to “let us down gently” when in reality he’s just sounding like a major douche. So sorry, but if he thinks we’re just going to sit here and listen to the trash coming out of his mouth he’s got another thing coming. 

“I love you, I’m just not in love with you.” 

Honestly, don’t even dignify him with a response. Just laugh as hard as you possibly can. 

“It’s not you, it’s me” 

“You’re so right. I didn’t realize how much I was settling.”

“I really just need to work on myself.” 

“Finally, we can agree on something. You have really let yourself go, after all.”

“I think we should see other people.” 

“Wait, were we not already doing that? Oops…”

“We’re just on two different paths right now.” 

“You’re right. I don’t think I have the right shoes to take the path to nowhere anyway.”

“I hope we can still be friends.” 

“Friends don’t let friends date assholes. You not only let me date the asshole, you are the asshole.”

“If you love something, let it go, and if it returns it was meant to be.” 

”Alright, see you never!”

“I really need to focus on my career right now.”

“Don’t you need an actual job in order to focus on one?”

“I’m just not ready for a serious relationship.” 

“I don’t think you’re ready for any relationship right now. Or, ever.”

“I just don’t feel that spark.”

“Worst. Sex. EVER.”

You know the saying “nice guys finish last?” Well, we refuse to finish last so screw being nice.