Why You Should Never Compare Yourself To Your Friends

Human beings are wired to draw conclusions and make assessments, and making a study of your friends is totally normal. As you grow and develop, so do your closest friends, and these changes are particularly noteworthy among friends who are also peers.

However, when you begin to use your friends’ successes and failures as a way of scrutinizing your own well being, making an honest comparison can rapidly move into unhealthy territory.

Here’s why you should never base your standard of living on someone else’s, especially a friend’s:

You Are Completely Different People

No two people should ever follow the same path in life, and that applies to even the closest of friends. In order to grow individually and as friends, you need to learn how to make your own, independent choices, and encourage those you care about to do the same. Your life is yours, and only your actions can define it.

Your Career Paths May Not Be the Same

If your friend is doing well on his or her chosen career path, but yours is still struggling to take off, don’t despair. Some careers are simply more lucrative and less competitive in the beginning than others, and most are beyond comparison.

All Relationships are Unique

Weighing your own relationship woes against your friend’s won’t make you feel any better, and if neither of you is having any luck on the romance front, it easy to slip into a toxic pattern of misery self-pity. It’s wonderful to have a friend in the dating trenches right along with you, but don’t let your mutual heartache turn to bitterness.

You Probably Don’t Have All the Facts

Your friend might seem happy and totally satisfied with the way his or her life is going, but that might just be lip service. Your early twenties are for making mistakes and learning from a variety of choices and opportunities; don’t take someone’s assurances at face value.

You Might Damage Your Friendship as a Result

All those bitter comparisons are a sure-fire way of adding undue stress to a friendship, and there’s always a chance your friend might not forgive you for seeing their successes as nothing more than evidence of your own lack of self-confidence. Instead of belittling yourself at their expense, take a moment to congratulate your friend for their accomplishments, and remind yourself that it isn’t personal.

6 Inexpensive Ways To Keep Busy During A Polar Vortex

Now that winter is officially upon us and all those calm, inexcitable folks at The Weather Channel have begun spelling their yearly doom-and-gloom in the form of cold fronts and precipitation, you may soon find yourself running out of things to do constantly trapped indoors and covered in blankets.

If you’re already stuck in the throes of Polar Vortex Boredom, why not give one of these ideas a try?

1. Beat a Video Game

Are you a gamer? Now’s your chance to finish all those video games you left incomplete last winter after you threw your controller at the TV in frustration. And if you’re a particularly prolific player, you can even revisit the titles you haven’t played in years. Why not relive your childhood and take another crack at Ocarina of Time? You know you want to.

2. Bake Something

Winter is basically synonymous with baking cookies and consuming an excess of sugar and refined grains. Put those budding culinary skills to use and make a batch of something sweet. If you’re not up to eating your way through a few tins of chocolate chip cookies alone (seriously, why does the Tollhouse recipe have to yield five dozen?), invite a few friends over to share your bounty.

3. Catch Up on Some Reading

Have a good book you’ve been dying to finish? During a Polar Vortex, you have ample opportunities to check in with Claire Fraser and Elizabeth Bennet.

4. Netflix Marathon

Have you heard Netflix recently purchased the syndication rights to all ten seasons of Friends and all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls? No? You’re welcome.

5. Learn Something New

Knit a scarf, try out a new language, practice an instrument, etc. You have the time now, so spend it constructively!

6. Actually Clean Your House or Apartment

Seriously, if all else fails, remember that being trapped inside also means you’re trapped inside with all the germs you left in your bathroom sink, on the kitchen counters, and rotting away in your refrigerator. Do yourself a favor and rectify that situation. Immediately.

7 Jobs We Should All Have At Some Point In Our Lives

Unsure of where to start sending out your seasonal employment applications this year? Look no further! Here are seven jobs every college student should have at some point during summer or winter break:

Food Service: Your base pay as a waiter, bartender, host, or server might not be anything to brag about, but the tips are usually fantastic. Additionally, you’ll always have more cash than all of your friends, and an endless supply of small bills.
Retail Worker: Possibly the most thankless job on this list, retail workers are often routinely abused by the very dregs of society. However, all that abuse will come in handy someday when you put it to good use during a corporate meeting, PTA function, or traffic court summons.
Contractor Work: Before you buy property or landscape your own garden, it helps to have a basic knowledge of how things are built and maintained. When you work for a contractor, you’ll learn valuable skills such as installing drywall, fixing a roof, painting walls, and the truly priceless knowledge of whether or not the contractor you eventually hire to for your own home is trying to rip you off.
Babysitter: Even guys should try babysitting at some point along the way, and parents are a lot more willing to trust a man with their young children now than in previous years. Caring for someone else’s children will teach you all the basics of child care (should you desire to reproduce at some point), and the satisfaction of being able to return the children to to their actual parents at the end of the day is a truly underrated euphoria. Just ask your grandparents.
Art Handler: Even if you don’t appreciate art, being an art handler means you get to view and learn to care for some of the most priceless works of fine art, furniture, architecture, and clothing ever made. Moreover, a lot of those pieces are incredibly heavy, so handling art can also be a very beneficial workout.
Library Page: A job as a library page is incredibly low maintenance work, and though you’ll probably spend a good amount of the day on your feet, the job is often highly regulated. Your break time will always be predictable, your pay will be steady, and if you enjoy reading, you’ll always be in the right place at the right time.
Camp Counselor: Similar to babysitters, camp counselors learn many of the responsibilities of child care with a focus on having a good time. You’ll get paid to play kickball, row canoes, and supervise middle schoolers at amusement parks. And if you work in an affluent area, the tips are incredible.

5 Reasons 'Hook-Up Culture' Might Not Be As Bad As We Think

We’ve all heard it before: dating just isn’t what it used to be. Gone are the days of dinner and a movie, dancing on the third date, and meet-cutes in French cafes. In our modern, technology-fueled world of instant gratification, we rely instead on “dating” apps and one-night stands. But is this “hook-up culture” really as much of a social tragedy as we’ve been led to believe?

Here’s why you shouldn’t immediately write off hooking up as a valid romantic entanglement:

1. Chemistry Can’t be Faked

Instead of sitting through an arduous date trying to “hit it off” with someone with whom you have absolutely no chemistry, hook-up culture sort of bypasses any pretense. If you don’t feel like you’d mesh with the person you’re chatting up on Tinder, simply swipe left and move on. No excuses required.

2. It’s No-Nonsense

Are you attracted to one another? Yes. Would you like to act on said urges? Yes. No waiting for a phone call, no agonizing over whether or not you’re coming off too strong, and no scheduling conflicts. If you’re into it, you’re both on the same page. That’s it.

3. It’s Sexually Liberating

If you’re a sexual person, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with expressing yourself and satisfying your basic needs in a healthy way. Under the right conditions and with proper consent from all parties, sex without obligations is a totally invigorating experience. You are free to dictate your own rules for how you wish to conduct your private affairs, and your sexuality is no exception.

4. You’re Sticking it to the Patriarchy

Traditional dating rules are inherently sexist and heteronormative. They often require that the woman appear chaste (until a certain point, in which case she becomes obligated to “put out”), and that the man is expected to cover all expenses incurred. Taking control of your dating rituals and sexual urges can be incredibly empowering.

5. It’s Way Cheaper

There’s nothing worse than having to cover the cost of a terrible date. If all you’re looking for is a hook up or a one night stand, there’s absolutely zero pressure to spend any money. Most dating and hook-up apps are completely free.

5 Reasons to Hit the Gym with Your Significant Other

Hoping to get back into shape for your 2015 New Year’s Resolution but worried how your gym sessions will affect your relationship? Why not bring your significant other along with you on your fitness journey?

Unconvinced? Here are five reasons to sweat it out with that special someone:

1. To Spend Quality Time Together

Covered in sweat or not, working out together is still spending time together. Even if it’s only a few hours a week, scheduling in some physical activity totally counts as couple time. Moreover, if you’re both really invested in getting healthy, you’ll always have that in common.

2. You’ll Always Have a Spotter

Lifting heavy? It’s always good to have a reliable gym buddy checking your form and making sure you aren’t overexerting yourself. And as an added bonus: it’s way safer!

3. You’ll Hold Each Other Accountable

In the world of physical fitness, two is absolutely better than one. If your significant other would prefer to lay on the couch instead of hitting the gym, he or she will always have you to rally the troops, and vice versa.

4. You Might Save Money

Several gyms and athletic facility memberships offer discounts for families, many of which only require two members. If you and your significant other share an address, you can take advantage of some truly incredible deals. Alternatively, if you both enjoy hitting the trails, taking long hikes, or otherwise exercising outdoors, you can skip a few date nights and schedule a free afternoon of calorie-burning under the sun.

5. You’ll Improve Confidence in the Bedroom

It’s hard to really enjoy sex when you aren’t comfortable in your own skin. When you spend time working out together, you’re both making a commitment to getting healthy and improving your (naked) physiques.

Why The 'Friend Zone' Is A Harmful Social Construct

Ah, the fabled “friend zone.” That dreaded realm of purgatory young men often stumble into after their latest attempt at wooing that special female friend goes awry.

Right? Wrong.

Citizens of the world, now that it’s officially 2015, can we collectively stop using the term “friend zone” to categorize the men who, after shamefully objectifying their female friends, are still demanding social vindication?

It’s Inherently Sexist

Have you ever heard of a woman trapped in the “friend zone?” I’m sure you haven’t, and you probably never will. The term is regulated to internet forums and romcoms about nerdy adolescent males who can’t understand why their female friends won’t give them the time of day. When a woman is rejected by her male friend, she is simply desperate, and she almost never benefits from a cutesy label designed to preserve her ego.

Absolutely No One is ‘Entitled to Sex’

It really doesn’t matter how many nights you’ve spent awake listening to her problems on the phone, helping her run errands, or watching chick flicks on Valentine’s Day; she doesn’t owe you anything, least of all something as intimate as a sexual relationship.

Friendship Created Under False Pretenses is a Farce

Imagine discovering the friend on whom you’ve always depended isn’t actually interested in being your friend. It’s a horrible feeling, and for many women, it often leads to a lack of trust in the male population as a whole. Don’t repay her for years of friendship by reducing her to a sexual conquest.

It Empowers the ‘Nice Guy’ Complex

Her rejection isn’t ammo for your personality disorder. If she doesn’t want to date you, it isn’t because she prefers to spend her time with less-than-savory characters. And if you’re blaming her for your lack of sexual chemistry, you’re the furthest thing from “nice guy.”

Free Will Be Damned

Being nice isn’t going to hinder your sex life, but implying that your female friends have no control over their own sexuality certainly will. If she isn’t attracted to you, she has a right to keep your relationship strictly on platonic terms. The universe doesn’t dictate your lack of luck in the bedroom. Your behavior, however, certainly does.