Lauren Leonhardt, Author at Pucker Mob

10 Terrible Excuses You Make for Stupid Boys that Your Best Friend Won’t Let You Say

Some of us have a bad habit of falling for the wrong guys. For whatever reason, they’re not good for us, yet we still try to justify their bad behavior with excuses. Thankfully, we’ve all got that best friend who saw it coming, and won’t let us stay hung up over that stupid boy just because he was “soooo nice when I met him.”

1. “But he’s just so hot.”

Okay, so? He’s not the only hot guy on the planet. If he’s a shitty person, there’s no amount of hotness that can redeem his bad personality. You will find plenty of hotter guys, who are nicer and smarter and richer. This guy won’t even be a memory.

2. “But I still really like him! Forgive and forget, right?”

No. He isn’t worth your forgiveness. If a guy ever cheats on you, or is just a common fuckboy, your best friend will smack you upside the head before she ever let’s you consider forgiving him. Your bestie sticks around while you’re going through this nonsense to knock some sense into you through your fuckboy delirium.

3. “He’s just going through a phase.”

Again, no he’s not. He’s just revealing his true colors at this point. Yeah, he might have pretended to be the nice guy that you met, but he couldn’t hold up that act forever. Snap out of it girl!

4. “He only acts like that because he knows I can handle it.”

Okay, that’s just plain demeaning. Your best friend reminds you that no guy will ever be good enough for you, and that you never deserve to be treated like a doormat. You can’t let yourself be treated badly, either.

5. “I can help him change!”

Nope, not gonna happen. That’s not your job, you’re not his mother. After she rolls her eyes, your best friend tells you that you shouldn’t be dating someone that you have to help raise. That’s his parents’ job, not yours. And if he needs help trying to “change” his ways, run.

6. “I am happy. Promise.”

If you have to say that you’re happy, something is obviously wrong. Trying to convince your best friend that you’re happy is never gonna fly. She can see through your lies like nobody’s business. You can’t fool her, much less yourself. So she reminds you that you can’t stay with a guy who truly can’t make you happy, no matter how much of a nice guy he his. You can’t force compatibility.

7. “There’s just no one else who I’m really interested in. I might as well stay with him.”

Cue the laughter. Your bestie will let you know that sometimes it’s better to be single and happy than taken and miserable. If you’re staying in a relationship just for the sake of having one, that’s a sure sign that you need to end it. You need to love yourself for a while, and find happiness being single.

8. “We’ve been together for so long. Why break up at this point?”

Because your relationship isn’t going anywhere. As your live-in couples’ counselor, your best friend advises that you’re not in a relationship if you’re not growing and progressing together. When a relationship goes stale and starts to stagnate, you need to end it. The sooner the better. She’ll be there to catch your tears.

9. “I’ll never find anyone like him.”

LOL no, you won’t. You’ll find someone even better. Just because you got used to him, doesn’t mean that he’s the only guy out there for you. Your best friend tells you that you need to get out more and meet new people. If you can fall for a guy once, you can fall for many more.

10. “I’m going to be alone forever and end up with 50 cats.”

Well, if that does happen, your best friend will be right there with you, and you guys can die alone, together. Because boys are stupid anyway.

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Reasons Why Your Best Friend Is Your Greatest Influence

Your best friend is there for us through thick and thin. This is the kind of person who stays out with you until 4 am, and then suffers through an exam the next day.

These friends are there for us no matter what, and they teach us that putting others before ourselves is an incredible sacrifice. But it’s all worth it because these are the kind of people you want to stick around for the rest of your life.

1. Your best friend corrupted you at a young age. Thankfully.

You’d still be a sheltered little innocent if it weren’t for your best friend. She explained the ins and outs of sex and gave you pep talks before nights out when you wanted to get it in. She’ll always be your number one wingman.

2. But she also made sure you were always alright on those crazy nights out.

All corruption and silliness aside, she deeply cares about you, and always checks in with you throughout the night. If you need to go puke, she’ll ditch whomever she was with to go hold back your hair.

3. She taught you how to dress for a night out, and never let you leave looking sub-par.

Your best friend has your back. She’s a true friend, so it’s not like she’s trying to compete with you. So when you and your girls are getting ready to go out for the night, your best friend is there for you, lending you clothes and critiquing your choices until you have that perfect outfit. She’ll even help you pin back your bra, so your boobs are pushed up and perky. Screw Victoria’s Secret, you’ve got your best friend and a handful of safety pins.

4. If you ever had a bad day, she taught you that wine is always the answer.

This is the girl who taught you that alcohol is always the answer. She’s an awesome influence because, well, alcohol really is the answer. If she hears you blowing off steam in the shower, she’ll hand you a beer to help you chill out.

5. And pizza.

Pizza is also always the answer. She’s your soul mate wifey; your girl is there to cheer you up no matter what. So when that dumbass decided to break your heart, your best friend came to the rescue with a large extra cheese and played Friends on Netflix. She taught you that best friends always beat stupid boys.

6. She’s the best person to go to for advice.

When you come to her with a problem, she’ll listen to you vent, and help you solve your issue, right then and there. Best friends look out for each other, and there’s nothing she would want more than to see you succeed. So if you’ve got a problem with your sleazy boss, she’ll tell you exactly what to say and how to approach the problem.

7. And if you ever need help making a crucial decision, she’s got the answer.

If you’re ever wondering if you should go to the gym, she’ll let you know with total honesty. Your girl is a great influence because she teaches you to strike a balance between chill and kick ass. So if you’re starting to turn into a lazy couch potato, she’ll tell your fat ass to lay off the Chipotle and start working out. On the other hand, if you look fine, she’ll tell you to take it easy. She’s your go-to advise giver and number one decision consultant.

8. Your best friend taught you how to interact with the opposite sex, through example.

Best friends push each to break out of their comfort zones. Some of us are brave enough to take the dive on our own, and others need a little push. But that’s what your best friend is for. She influenced you to toughen up and go out to get what you want.

9. She taught you that no matter how sick or tired, you should always live it up on the weekend.

A good influence is always liked to push the boundaries a little (or a lot). So when you’re young and hot, you need to get yourself out of the house and have fun! Or you’ll risk falling into a slump of laziness and apathy. No matter how much you protest, your best friend will make you have fun, whether you like it or not.

10. She will never let you settle for anything less than you deserve.

A great influence wants to see you succeed and step out of the box. Life isn’t meant to be lived in comfort, fearing the unknown. Your best friend taught you that you learn what you need to learn from whatever job or relationship, but once you start to feel comfortable, it’s time to move onto bigger and better endeavors.

Things That Happen When You Grow Up With A Blunt Dad

For many girls, fathers are their first loves. Dads are our teachers, caregivers, and best friends. But growing up with a blunt dad is a totally different ballgame. He’s hilarious and fun, but he’ll always tell it like it is. He never had to beat around the bush when trying to teach or discipline you. If that dress was too short, he’d tell you exactly what you look like.

1. Your dad tells the best jokes and stories.

Blunt people are brutally honest. Describing life exactly as it is, with a little bit of sarcastic humor thrown in there, can be hilarious. When your dad gets started, there’s no stopping him. And there’s no escape from the gut-wrenching laughter, either.

2. He has no problem confronting you about your modesty (or lack thereof).

If you were one of those teeny sixteen-year-olds who got dressed up to “go out,” your dad made sure you were kept in line. He wasn’t terribly strict per se, but he was not going to let you out of the house in that dress. The one that made you look like a hooker. Nope, not happening.

3. He gives you the best life advice.

A blunt dad calls it as he sees it. Even if you don’t ask for advice, he’ll tell you what you need to hear. If you’re clearly miserable at your summer internship or hate your major, he’ll sit you down and tell you to look at different paths. A blunt dad won’t just sit around and support you no matter what. He’ll do that, but he’ll direct you down the path you need to take.

4. Your dad always corrected your mistakes.

If you messed up, he’d tell you. But he wouldn’t get mad and get over it. He’d teach you, and help you learn from your mess up. He’d joke and say “Ok, well that was awful.” But he’d make you get back up and try again until you got it right.

5. When your teenage boyfriends came over to meet the parents, he’d tell you his opinion with the most brutal honesty.

It was either, “that was a good kid,” or “HA! get rid of him as fast as you can.” You might have rolled your eyes and dismissed his honesty, but deep down, you know that his judgments were spot on. And thank god for that, because he saved you from a ton of deadbeat scumbags.

6. Your dad would critique your middle school group of friends and steer you in the right direction.

If you had a friend that was too loud, obnoxious, or too shy to say hello, he’d call them out on it. Albeit, he’d be polite, but you were mortified. Your dad likes people who are upfront and direct, so carrying a conversation with your little friends wasn’t too pleasant for him. If it were up to him, he’d tell you who to hang out with.

7. You were never reprimanded by your dad. He taught you how to see things in a different light.

If you broke the rules, your dad wasn’t angry or upset. He was disappointed. But he told you exactly what you did wrong, how you needed to change, and how to be consistent. And when you worked it out, your dad was first to tell you how great you are.

8. He defined the parameters of right and wrong.

Blunt people are black and white. There’s no wishy-washy grey area. So there’s no cutting corners or taking the easy way out with your blunt dad around. He’ll call you out on your laziness, procrastination, or anger. And he’ll help you through it.

9. His love for you is unconditional and pure.

Even though he’s blunt, he’s still a mush for his little girl. You know your dad loves you no matter what, and he’ll always be by your side to guide you and support you through it all.

9 Signs You’re The Grumpy Nice Girl

We’ve all got that one friend who is super sweet. She treats everyone with kindness and respect, and you rarely-to-never hear her participate in gossip. She’s a nice girl, but, every so often, she lets something out and she isn’t as nice as you’d thought. Everyone gasped in shock when you all heard her swear for the first time in high school.

1. You never, ever swear. But when you do, everyone hears it.

You stub your toe. Normally you can just handle it and let out a polite little “ow!??? But you’ve had a long, tiring day and that loud “FUCK??? slips through your lips before you could catch yourself. Your friends and any passerby look up at you in shock and disbelief. Most of the time, you’re too nice to swear. But not today.

2. You always speak highly of others and look for the good in all people. Until you don’t.

You’re a natural sweetheart, a totally innocent Cady Heron at the beginning of Mean Girls. But when someone deserves it, and I mean really deserves it, like you can’t find a reasonable justification for why they’re such a horrible person, you’ll call it as you see it. Everyone’s a little astonished that you didn’t say something kind or nice like you normally do. When you talk badly about someone, they seriously deserve it.

3. Every so often, you roll your eyes behind someone’s back. This sends your friends into a fit of shock and laughter.

You just could not resist. Again, you’ll only let your inner grumpiness out if it’s necessary. Sometimes people are just too full of themselves and you gotta take their ego down a few notches. And come on, a little eye-roll is harmless. You’re still charming and nice and adorable, just with a hint of grumpy.

4. You rarely complain…but sometimes you just need to vent about how much everything and everyone sucks.

As the nice girl, you don’t like to subjugate your friends to your heavy emotions and moods. For the most part, you can deal with your problems on your own and your friends see you as a stable rock that they can depend on. But there are days when you really need to yell about your stupid boss and stupid professor and stupid assignments, not to mention the stupid mean asshole on the way home who let the door slam in your face instead of holding it open.

5. Normally you’re calm and sweet, but when something pisses you off, you let it out.

Yes, life is usually frustrating and slow, and not many people cooperate when you need them to. Usually, you stand by and let it pass because you know that other people are probably having a bad day. You’re usually empathetic and patient. but there’s only so much you can take until you decide that you’re going to devise a plot to destroy the world and all of the annoying humans.

6. You’re always there for your friends, but sometimes they need a little tough love.

As the nice girl, you’re the shoulder to cry on. You’re the one who always coddles your friends and reminds them how amazing they are. But sometimes they’re just too much. They’re being a little too ridiculous and you won’t tolerate their nonsense. Some wise words from your inner grumpy cat do the trick.

7. When you meet new people, it’s only natural for you to be polite and happy and kind. With your best friends, you let your inner grumpy cat out.

It’s almost impossible to tell when you’re being fake nice because 99% of the time you’re truly genuinely nice. But if someone rubs you the wrong way, you wait until they’re gone to release your claws. And your friends are totally shocked because they certainly did not see that coming.

8. Your nice manners and genuine optimism are mistaken for sarcasm. But when you actually use sarcasm, people think that you’re just really nice.

Being ultra nice is a blessing in disguise. Everyone knows you as the innocent nice girl. But only your real friends have seen the grumpy side underneath all of the niceness. So while you have to reassure others that you’re being honest and not sarcastic, when you’re actually sarcastic people think that you’re just being nice. It’s a win-win, you can secretly be a grumpy cat.

9. You’ll always go out of your way for your friends. But when the nice girl takes it too far, you throw them some well-deserved side-eye.

Nice people are underestimated. You quite observant, and know how to throw shade. But you only get shady when it’s totally warranted. And it means a lot more coming from you because you don’t throw shade around on the reg. Side-eye from you shouldn’t be taken lightly, you’re telling your friend that she needs an attitude adjustment.

7 Things that Happen When You and Your Best Friend Only Speak Sarcasm

You and your best friend literally live in one giant mockumentary. You only speak sarcasm to each other and can’t get enough of it. It’s about time that you guys get your own comedy show.

1. No one really knows how you act when you’re not being sarcastic.

Since you live your lives as caricatures of yourselves, your other friends are never quite sure if you’re acting like yourself, or a parody of your own personality. You and your bestie pretend to be basic bitches, biddies, and pretentious assholes just for shits and giggles. When you see girls taking life too seriously, you and your best friend love to make fun.

2. You and your best friend love to mock people who are full of themselves.

Anytime you and your bestie run encounter a person who’s way too uptight, you can’t help but turn on the sarcasm. It’s entertaining for you guys to mess with people and see their reactions when you mimic their personalities.

3. Without a word, you can tell when your friend is being sarcastic, and you get right into it with her.

You and your best friend can have full-blown conversations entirely in sarcasm. No one really knows if you actually mean what you say. It’s like a secret language between you and your girl.

4. Other people have no clue what you guys are talking about.

Basically, whatever you say, your friend knows that you mean the exact opposite. She knows that when you say, “I saw my boyfriend today!” you really mean the hot guy you spotted walking down the street. She can go on asking you about your future plans and dates with the mystery guy, and no one would ever know. So casual.

5. Sometimes, you don’t even need to talk to be sarcastic.

You and your girl can communicate through facial expressions and body language. A little side eye and a brow raise go a long way. You can be politely talking to an acquaintance, and make eyes at your friend behind their back. But it’s chill, you only mock them if they need to take a chill pill.

6. Whenever you’re out with your bestie, you get strange looks from people who don’t know that you’re both sarcastic.

You and your best friend are like actors, and life is your stage. If you guys get invited out to a lame event, you make your own fun by sarcastically pretending that you’re having the best time. We’re really having soooo much fun!

7. You both crack each other up and seriously need your own TV show.

When you two are together, it’s like Bonnie and Clyde…except you don’t steal shit and murder people. You’re inseparable and feed off of each other’s humor. It’s like you’re both duplicates of Amy Schumer.

7 Signs that You’re Perpetually Drunk in Love

We all have that one friend who just cannot help it. You’re all out, or just hanging around, and you meet a new group of people. She’s the one who hones in and finds her new love of the week. Sure, the new target is fairly attractive, but this friend is head over heels before she even knows his name.

1. You’re single and always ready to mingle.

Even if you have a boyfriend, you still find other people attractive. There’s always someone new and interesting around the corner, and you like to keep your prospects open. What’s wrong with being in love with a lot of guys at once?

2. It doesn’t matter where you are or how you look, you always spot a hot guy.

You could be at the bar, or a park, or walking on the sidewalk. And you subsequently text your friends “I just saw my boyfriend” and they know that means you just saw a hot guy go by. Even if you never see him again, his hotness will linger in your conversations throughout the rest of the day.

3. You know how to play it cool, but on the inside you’re secretly flipping the fuck out.

So your friend group just met another group while you’re all out. Everyone is casually chatting and talking about the night, but you are love drunk over the tall one with the glasses. Forget about the hottie on the subway, this is your real future husband.

4. You’re probably too chill to even show your interest, you just treat your target like everyone else.

If anything, you unintentionally ignore the guy you like, because you don’t want to come off as obvious. And he moves on without a clue, because you never let on. You won’t make your move until the next time you meet. By then, he won’t know what hit him.

5. You love hanging out with your friend, her boyfriend, and his friends.

The friend’s boyfriend’s friends are the most fun to play with. They’re always down and love the fact that you’re single and fun. And you get to pick and choose whom you like, so it’s easy for your friend and her guy to set you up. But hey, you can’t guarantee that it’ll last long.

6. After you meet a guy, everyone finds out that you plan on having his children someday, but you don’t know his last name yet.

You’re quicker to plan out the rest of your life with a guy that just zoomed by on his bike, than to decide what you’re having for lunch. Even if you don’t know his name, you come up with the most creative nicknames to refer to each guy you want to talk about with your friends.

7. Before anyone can decipher what’s going on in your love life, you’ve already moved onto the next hottie of the week.

You move fast—so what? There are just too many guys and not enough time.

17 Things that Happen When You Have a Hot Professor

College can be tough. After the initial buzz of September, you settle into classes and push through the semester. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, the gods of college smile down on you and bless you with an incredibly hot professor. It makes waking up for that 9AM so much better.

1. You actually show up to class on time.

What would normally be a begrudging process is now a perk in your day. No more rolling out of bed and throwing on leggings and a sweatshirt. It’s hair-curling time.

2. You even put effort into your assignments.

There’s no better way to get attention than to be his star student! Instead of half-assing and complaining, you go in full force. It’s never been so enjoyable working for an A.

3. As hard as you try to focus, it’s so hard to pay attention during the lecture. That chiseled jawline, though.

He’s the greatest distraction. When a professor is more distracting than a phone or laptop, you know it’s serious.

4. You try extra hard to give amazing answers when he asks the class a question.

You got this. Not only are you hot and young, you’re also killing it in class. Yes, you did the readings.

5. Or you try to sound super intelligent and ask him intellectual questions about the material.

He probably just gave a lengthy description and you just asked a dumb question that forced him to repeat himself. But whatever. He looks so hot when he looks at you strange.

6. You would break your moral code and 100% sleep with him for an A.

What’s wrong with that if you’re both two consenting adults? Hell, you don’t even need the A. Just that D.

7. You ever-so-subtly try to get a pic of him on Snapchat to brag to your friends.

It’s a nerve wracking endeavor—you want to get his face in there but you can’t be obvious.

8. Sometimes he catches you staring at him and you have to play it off like you were super focused.

You have to smile and wipe the drool off of your face. The way his lips move is unreal. It’s not fair. He probably smiles sympathetically and you internally tell yourself to get it together.

9. You try not to die when he turns around and writes on the board. That ass, ugh.

UNNNFFFFF. GOD. That man makes khakis look so good. And that crisp white button up that stretches over his muscular back. Dear Lord, have mercy. This is just too good, but you won’t take a snap. This image is all for you.

10. When you’re doing homework for his class, you decide to get super stalkerish and Google his name.

Seeing his name on the assignment sheet just drives you crazy with curiosity. You need to uncover his entire life story. Where is he from? Is he married? When is he getting divorced? What sports teams does he like?

11. You’ve never been so thankful for office hours. One-on-one time with Professor Sexyface in a tiny room? Score.

You’re so tempted to reach over and make out with his face as he talks to you about quantitative data. You try your hardest to get him sidetracked and find out where he spends his weekends.

12. And you can scope out his office to find out his interests / see if he’s married.

When he starts rummaging through his desk for a pen, you desperately eye every picture he has hanging.

13. Sitting in the front is a must.

Only the try-hards and suck-ups sit all the way in the front, right? Not this time. You’ll be front and center for the perfect view of your hot teacher. And you’ll need the help trying to focus anyway. If you sat in the back, you’d never learn a thing.

14. You try extra hard to look hot for his class.

No matter what time of day you have class, you will make some kind of effort to look good. Your outfits will be on point, you’ll have clean, brushed hair, and your makeup will be killer. He better watch out.

15. Your groupchat has an ongoing debate about whether the girl in his profile pic is his girlfriend or his sister.

Someone found his private Facebook page sent his profile pic to the group. After an in-depth analysis of his hand placement and stance (45-degree angle away from the girl), you’ve concluded that she’s his sister. And they TOTALLY look alike so if she were actually his girlfriend, it’d be practically incestuous, so you’re fine.

16. You pray that this semester will never end.

You’ve never enjoyed a class as much as his. He is just so so so attractive. Oh and you suppose the material is kinda interesting, too.

17. And you have to find out if he’s teaching other courses next semester.

Hellooo you gotta get that letter of recommendation! You’re just really committed to your studies.

17 Signs You and Your Person are Killing the Best Friend Game

Your Person. The other half. A soulmate. You and your person couldn’t live without each other, because you’re so invested in each other’s lives.

Best friends have each other’s backs, and you two are no exception. You can depend on your person without any questions asked.

1. When you’re sick and tired of everyone, you can turn to your person for sympathy.

Sometimes people suck, and you can’t deal anymore. Your person is there for you when you need them to listen to you vent and they understand when you need to be left alone to do your thing.

2. And when you’re out with your person, and she’s out of cash, you cover her for food.

You two cover each other like you’re dating, and alternate who pays for the dates. Without a thought, you’ll rescue her grumbling stomach and share delicious food. There’s no, “I’ll pay you back,” because she’ll just get it for you next time.

3. If your person needs a little cheering up, you know exactly what she needs.

Everyone has a their personal way of dealing with tough situations and bad moods. You’re a best friend professional and there’s nothing you can’t cure.

4. Even if you’ve been apart for a while, you’ve got the details on each other’s lives so catching up isn’t really needed.

Thanks to modern technology, it’s almost impossible to not know what’s going on in your person’s life, even if you don’t live near each other.

5. You both love daydreaming about taking a trip together somewhere crazy.

Whether you guys actually mean it, or are just fantasizing together, a trip around the world with your person is a life goal you hope to realize someday.

6. You have the same frenemies.

You and your best friend are basically two halves of the same person. You balance each other out, but you also have very similar tastes. When someone rubs you the wrong way, you can be sure that your person will back you up.

7. Thinking and saying the same things are a daily occurrence.

It’s a little cheesy, but you can practically read your person’s thoughts, and vice versa. She can tell what you’re going to say before you say it, and she’ll blurt it out with you.

8. You can tell if your person loves or hates someone just by watching her. She doesn’t have to say a thing.

You can sense your person’s mood and body language. You can read her face and tell if she’s faking it or being genuine. It’s highly entertaining to push her buttons when she’s being fake-nice.

9. Your person already has your future together planned out. Matching apartments in your favorite city and all.

As hard as going to different colleges or living in different cities is, your person has plans for your reunification. Someday you’ll both be together again, as neighbors or roommates. And everything will match and the shared apartment will look like a page from the Anthropology catalog.

10. You know each other’s sex lives as if it were your own.

All the details are always out in the open. Everything is divulged. It’s just necessary information, plain and simple.

11. Obsessing over the same shows/movies/songs/clothes/etc is a given.

You and your person are so in sync that you have the same taste in entertainment. Sure, there’s the occasional major disagreement, but it’s amusing to argue for fun.

12. When you’re out shopping, you end up finding all the clothes your person would want.

She’s basically half of your brain. Whenever you’re out shopping, you always find things that she would wear. It gets annoying after a while… you need to shop for yourself!

13. If something amazing happens to your person, you’re more excited than she is.

When your person gets an A on an assignment or a raise at work, you die with excitement. You’re happy for her success.

14. By some miracle of fate, you’re both the same size… so you can share everything.

You and your person may not have the exact same style preferences, but it’s nice to have some variety in your (shared) closets. Mi casa es su casa.

15. You already have her wedding planned out, as the self-designated maid of honor.

Since you know her style better than she knows herself, you’ve decided to take over planning events for the rest of her life, just to make everything perfect. You know exactly what she wants. And she should be grateful, because you’re not an expensive professional wedding planner.

16. When you’re both together, no one else understands your conversation with your person.

Everything you guys talk about is coded in references and inside jokes. It’s not even like you try to be confusing, that’s just how you communicate.

17. Nothing will ever stand in the way; you two are taking over the world together.

You and your person are unstoppable. The world better get ready for your imminent takeover.

An Open Letter to the Guys Who Don’t Take No for an Answer

Ever since we were kids, we’ve been taught that persistence, ambition, and determination are admirable qualities. The American Dream means never giving up. Work as hard as you can, and you can make your dreams come true. That’s the kind of person we should strive to be: someone who always pushes the limits, someone who won’t take no for an answer.

Those qualities may be useful in some aspects of our lives, but dating is not one of them. Our society makes jokes about rape and is quicker to defend an alleged rapist than to consider the side of the accuser. We live in a culture that teaches, “Don’t get raped,” instead of, “Don’t rape,” and creates a mentality in which a victim of sexual assault can never win. (What was she wearing? She shouldn’t have been out that late drinking. If she’s had sex with him before, why would she say no this time?).

We live in a society where guys would sooner back off when a girl says she has a boyfriend, out of respect for another male, than to simply leave a girl alone. And even then, some guys don’t stop.

It’s even more confusing when the media romanticizes harassment, masking it as persistence. It’s everywhere: in rom-coms, sitcoms, books, magazines, and music.

Consider every girl’s favorite romance movie, The Notebook. It’s incredibly sweet and romantic and we bawl our eyes out at the end.

But think about how Noah met Allie. In the scene when they first meet, Noah will not take no for an answer. He risks killing himself in front of Allie just to coerce her into going on a date with him. Throughout the scene, Noah repeatedly asks Allie to dance with him or go out with him. Meanwhile, she’s on a date with another guy. She repeatedly responds, “No,” and, “Because I don’t want to,” but he refuses to accept her answer. She doesn’t give in until Noah dangles himself by one arm off the Ferris wheel and forces Allie to scream, “I wanna go out with you!” and then repeat then statement, just to prevent Noah from killing himself for a date.

And we all want to think, “Wow, I wish a guy would see me and risk his life to ask me out—it’s so romantic!” But it’s not romantic. That would never ever happen in real life. If a guy actually did that in real life, he’d probably be more of a stalker-ish sociopath than a romantic boyfriend.

In real life, being overly persistent is not romantic. It is called harassment. Sure, sometimes a little persistence is necessary to win someone over, but incessant badgering to the point of making a girl uncomfortable is not going to get you anywhere. If a girl smiles politely and says, “That’s very kind, but no thank you,” she is not playing hard to get. She does not want you to “get” her. She is simply not interested.

Perhaps the worst part about persistence is when a guy realizes his defeat, refuses to accept it, and still subjugates a girl to unwanted attention. Let me make this clear: if we reject you, WE. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. HUG. YOU. Don’t try to play the good guy. Don’t act all sweet or ask us to press our bodies against yours. Not only is it humiliating and extremely uncomfortable, but it makes us look like heartless bitches if we say no. We do not want to give you a hug.

We are not bitches and psychos for giving you a fake number, or for ignoring you. You are not entitled to our bodies or our companionship. Imagine that you’re doing your thing, minding your own business, and you see a salesman coming up to you. He wants to sell you a book, but you don’t want that book. He offers again. You refuse again because you have no interest in the book. Maybe you don’t like the genre or you don’t like the cover or you simply don’t like reading. Again and again, he pushes you to buy this book. It’s very uncomfortable, isn’t it? It’s annoying, right?

So, to all the males who refuse to take no for an answer: there is no use in persisting when a girl doesn’t want to accept your offer for a date. There’s a difference between casual disregard and blatant refusal. If a girl brushes you off and you ask her again, then sure, she might come around. You could still win her over. But if she says no, (and you know that she means it) you need to back the f*ck off. In dating, persistence is not a virtue.

9 Ways You’re Stronger Than You Think You Are

As our generation ages into our twenties, we’ve lived through a ton of change. Since the nineties, we’ve seen pagers turn into cell phones, and old-fashioned dating turn into apps and likes.

We’ve adapted to so many new technologies and ways of life and sometimes it’s hard to find peace in a constantly changing world. But, whether you’ve realized it or not, you’ve changed too.

1. You’re empathetic.

Sympathizing with others and considering other people’s emotions is a sign of strength. Neglecting your own problems and feelings to comfort a friend shows maturity and wisdom. Not many people can put the needs of others before their own needs.

2. You’ve discovered and understand your vices.

Knowing your faults and shortcomings is important. If you’re easily angered, you can only correct that problem once you’re aware of it. It takes strength to admit your negative qualities to yourself, and even more strength to overcome those qualities. But you know that sitting around and complaining will get you nowhere.

3. You let yourself feel vulnerable.

Opening up and letting others see you cry is an act of incredible bravery. You risk getting teased or not being taken seriously. But no matter what happens, allowing yourself to open up and exposing your true self is strength. Putting your heart on the line and risking pain takes a lot of work and self-assurance.

4. You’ll try anything once.

Many people take the easy road and opt for familiar settings and preferences. It takes strength to jump off that cliff (both literally and figuratively), travel to a place totally foreign, or eat some crazy dish. Keeping an open mind can be exhausting and scary. Looking at something from all viewpoints is rare, and noble.

5. You’ve let yourself fail, and you’ve wallowed in that failure.

Believe it or not, failure takes strength. If you’ve still alive today reading this, you’ve overcome some kind of hardship in your life. You screwed up. You failed. For a moment in time, your life was over. But is it still over? Are you still wallowing and self-pitying in a ditch somewhere? No. You picked yourself up, got yourself out of bed, and kept moving forward.

6. You took a chance and chased a dream.

It takes a lot of guts and bravery to jump out of your normal routine and take a risk on a dream. No matter how big or small, risky or surefire, whether there was a good or bad outcome, you f*cking did something no one else had the courage to do. That counts for a lot.

7. You don’t need validation from others to feel good about yourself.

In the era of “likes” and followers, you don’t give a flying f*ck. Why should you, anyway? A number on a screen does not determine your worth as a human being, your character does. So here’s to you for going against the crowd, standing out on your own, and giving the finger to all of the followers of the world. You’re a leader.

8. You say “No” when you don’t like someone or something.

It takes strength to be your own person. You can still go out with friends, and have a lot to drink, or a little, or nothing at all, and still have a good time. You don’t let anyone control your life. You’re not a pushover. You have the strength it takes to do your thing, even if you’re doing it alone.

9. You know that holding on sometimes causes more damage than letting go.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go – of ourselves, of our loved ones, of our dreams. It’s extremely painful to let go of the walls we hide behind to protect ourselves, to let go of someone we love and miss terribly, and to let go of the dreams that we finally realize will never come to be. But letting go opens up so much more for us than we could’ve ever imagined. It opens up new worlds of opportunity and love that wouldn’t have been attainable if we’d kept holding on to the past.

You are incredibly strong, just for being you.