The Truth Is, Heartbreak Can Change You for The Better

Goodbye

Somewhere in the midst of our busy lives, our relationship took a turn- somewhere we went wrong, somewhere we lost ourselves a little bit. I didn’t want too, but I had too, I had to say goodbye and it took every ounce of strength in my body. It’s over now and all that’s left is the type of heartbreak that affects your soul.

I loved every single part of him, and he loved me the same way. I would’ve done anything for him, honestly, I think I still would.

 

How did we let our relationship get to a point where I had to end it? We went from having a love that so many people would kill to share, to slowly drifting apart, to eventually becoming strangers with memories.

 

If You Have To Question It, You Already Know The Answer

A wise woman once told me to never ask questions that I don’t want to know the answer to. But, if I have to ask the question- do I already know the answer? Probably. If you have to ask someone if they still love you, isn’t that your answer? If you have to ask your friends if you should stay with someone, you probably shouldn’t stay with them. You shouldn’t question love. Not for a second.

Some may say this is a little harsh, that’s because it is. It is harsh, it’s a wake-up call. But it’s only harsh, because love is harsh & heart break is even harsher. So to save you from that- here’s what I have to say: if you constantly catch yourself questioning things, walk away. Walk away & never look back, with your head held damn high too.

I want to say this though, never be scared to ask those questions, even when you know the answer. Sometimes you have to hear the answer in order to give you the push to walk away. Do you still have feelings for her? Do you love me as much as you loved her? If she came back, would you chose her over me? Needing to hear the answer from their mouth does not make you weak, but it’s what you do with that answer that makes you strong.

This Is The Reason Why I Don't Trust Anyone

I consider myself to be a good person, you consider yourself to be one too right? I’m a good daughter, good sister, good friend, good girlfriend, good cousin, etc. (or at least I think so). I offer food to every homeless person I see, I pray every time I hear a siren, & I literally get sympathy pain whenever a friend or family member is hurt. 

But with that being said, I have done a laundry list of things that I am absolutely not proud of at all & I continue to do them, but I still consider myself a good person. Am I a hypocrite? I don’t think so, not at all. 

The point I’m getting at is the reason I don’t trust anyone is because I do awful things as a good person, so imagine what a not so good person is capable of. But even if the guy you’re dating is a good person, imagine what he’s capable of. I try to see the best in people I really do, but I’m also realistic. Everyone makes mistakes & everyone does bad things- that’s the way God made us. But, that’s also the reason I don’t trust anyone. Guard your heart.

There's A Difference

I’ve learned that there’s a huge difference between being in love with someone & actually loving them. I’ve been in love (multiple times) & it’s the butterflies when you see them, the nervousness, the giddiness, the excitement. But, loving someone? To love someone is to love the son or daughter that they are, the friend that they are, the sibling that they are, the cousin that they are, the boyfriend or girlfriend that they are, the stranger that they are to a homeless man- I could go on & on.

To be in love with someone is one thing, but to love someone is a whole other. You can be in love with someone without loving them & you can also love someone without being in love with them but this one really, really, can hurt. It’s a process of letting go. I don’t think you can ever stop loving someone once you’ve loved them, I think you give them a piece of your heart so I would say be careful when it comes to love, but there’s no really being careful when it comes to love.

So to the boy who I love so deeply, but I’m no longer in love with- please take care of that piece of my heart. Please never give it away to anyone else, but just hold on it.  I know I have a piece of yours too, & I could never say thank you enough for trusting me with it. I just want to let you know that It’s always safe with me.

I’m sorry fixing my heart, meant breaking yours.

If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I am today. When we met three years ago I was a mess, I was in the process of finding myself & I probably wouldn’t have been able to if it weren’t for you. I don’t want to say you were a stepping stone, but you were a piece of the puzzle. Your love & support built me up in ways I could never explain, in ways I could never say thank you enough for.

But something happened, something that I feel so guilty for. I hate to say it, but I think I outgrew you. I think you taught me how to stand on  my own two feet & now I need to prove to myself that I can. I didn’t use you- I could never do that in a million years, but you definitely helped me. You helped me in ways no one besides another “half” could.

So to the boy whose heart I broke while fixing mine- I am so sorry, but I think I was a piece of your puzzle too. I think you needed me for the time we were together, but you don’t need me now. I think you’ll continue to grow & I think you’ll continue to help people in ways you’ll never even realize you are. Above all, I think you’ll be okay.

To My First Real Love, That I Lost:

Oh God, where do I even start? We loved so hard, so deep, & understood each other just as much. You could have put us in a room with 500 people & a complete stranger could have picked us out of the crowd & known we were in love. But not only was I in love with you, I loved you. I loved every part of you, every single being of you.

But, something happened- things changed & I’m not sure where we went wrong, where we lost ourselves. I do know that it hurts, it hurts so bad, but I want to say thank you. I have learned lessons from losing you that I would have never been able to learn from any other experience. I learned how to truly love. Not in a way that you love a best friend or a family member, but in a way that is indescribable.

I want to say I will always, always be here for you. A week from now, a month from now, a year from now I will be here. I’m a firm believer that you never stop loving someone once you give them a piece of your heart, so please take care of the piece that I gave you & I’ll take care of the piece you gave me. I once read that it’s better to have loved & lost, than to have never loved at all. You’re the type of boy that makes me believe in that. I would never trade what we had, not for the world.

Lastly- cheers to us, we tried our hardest.

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