How The Girl With An Outgoing Personality But Aloof Mind Lives Differently

You’ve always been complex to others, even to yourself.

Any social situation can either make you feel alive and your best self – or completely bored, annoyed and uninterested. You’re strong minded and sensitive at the same time. Extremely outgoing but rarely socializing. There are days when you find yourself unfiltered, carefree and the center of attention. But then there are days when you over-think everything, and the only voice that speaks is the one inside your head. Everything about you is a puzzle.

 

 

Constant mental stimulation is a must, the deeper the conversation the more alive you feel. And you can definitely do without small talk, you’d even give up finding ‘the one’ if it meant never having to go through the pain of small talk… it literally gives you mini panic attacks. And sometimes you have to ignore phone calls from the people closest to you…it’s just too hard for you to drop your thoughts and have a conversation with them. You need more prep time to switch gears like that.

 

You have one (possibly two) best friends who you’d do anything for. But other than that, it’s just too much of a struggle to maintain friendships.

 

You Lost Me, And Honestly It’s Your Own Fault

Lost Love

You lost me….. It’s like another version of me was screaming at you from a distance.. “How could you not see that you’re all she wanted? How could you not see her holding on with every fiber of her being to make it work?”

Because of my strength

You turned her strong, willful personality into an issue. And you couldn’t handle being challenged by her. So you buried the very traits that make her, her. And it was easier to see things your way than to try and understand her.

And when you drain out the very essence of someone until they can’t even recognize themselves anymore…that’s when the problems begin.

 I wanted you to be your best

You just couldn’t get that she was the type of girl who showed her love by pushing you out of your comfort zone. She craved more from you for yourself, every dream of yours became hers and she never failed to call you out when you weren’t living up to your potential.

You wanted it to be easy

She didn’t just serve to please you and because of that, you failed to feel her real love for you. She didn’t fail to see how great this love could’ve been, how it could’ve changed the both of you for the better. Unlike you, she knew it would take work but she knew that the work would’ve been worth it. You, on the other hand, couldn’t see past instant gratification so you stopped making the effort to choose her and started to look elsewhere.

You couldn’t handle how real this could have been, but you could handle placing the blame on everything else. To you, your behavior and actions weren’t the problems it was just that you “wanted something easy, drama free.”

Your Disloyalty

And while you may still have seen yourself as the gentleman who did everything in his power to make her feel special, the reality was far from it. And the only thing that was easy about this relationship, was how easily it was for you to chip away at her until she felt nothing but her insecurities.

You covered up the emotional beatings with your own issues to the point where she was suffocating while trying to heal you. And even then, when she could barely breathe, you piled the excuses, the betrayal and the flat out bullshit on top of her as your attempt to bandage it all up.

You Were Toxic. And Cruel.

But no matter how many times you became that “gentleman” lifting her back up from it all, her heart could never fully recover. You failed to understand just how much damage was caused and so her pain turned into something you could see. Her pain turned into rage and that’s when you stopped loving her. How could you not see that her rage was because of your toxic self?

By The Time You Tried, It Was Meaningless and Too Late

This wasn’t easy or drama free, it was difficult and chaotic and she was still holding on but somehow that was too inconvenient for you to try harder. So she got off this rollercoaster and you came crashing down. You couldn’t take the fall so you decided to be the man she needed, but in the end, it wasn’t a change for her. It was for you. And it wasn’t a change at all.

It took you awhile to realize that but she learned quickly that it would always end the same way. You loved yourself too much to see the big picture and she lost herself trying to get you both to that big picture.

You Never Fought To Keep The Relationship

She may have hated herself for blindly trying to get you both to a love so out of this world, but she never saw herself as stupid. She knew you had something complicated and intense and was the biggest challenge of her life. But she also knew that it was the love that you fight for again and again because you don’t get that with just anyone.

You knew she was right because you felt it too but you decided not to fight to keep her. You knew, as insufferable as it would be to watch her leave for good, you had to because she deserved to experience this love with someone who could do the work.

But You Can Find Her And She Will Love You

And while you may think you’re a hero for saving her from you, the truth is you’re not. You are the reason why she didn’t get the love she deserved. And you are the reason the relationship failed instead of lasting a lifetime.

Because you let your toxic bullshit drag her down rather than protecting her with the love you felt.

She was strong and would have weathered any storm with you but every woman has their limit on how many battles they can fight alone. So change, choose to love her and she’ll never make you regret it.

This Is My Life After I Said Goodbye To You

I wasn’t weak or foolish for loving him. I knew there were more downs than there were ups. I was strong enough to continue to fight for it, but I was smart enough to stop.

I needed it to end before the memory of them was forever tainted. When you have a love this rare -it’s often hard to survive and even harder to create again.

I tried my hardest for this to end without our remaining love dying from the toxic shock of it all.

I understood my part in this, I even accepted most of the blame. He wasn’t toxic, I wasn’t either and our relationship didn’t start as such. It grew inside their love and latched onto every part of our souls until we became toxic for each other. It was fatal, and we knew that but I continued to be our life support until the very end.

Without each other, we were just functioning, but together we were alive.

It wasn’t self-destruction and I wasn’t addicted to him like a drug. In it’s simplest form it was us trying to find our way back to each other because when the love was there we were truly alive. We ignored the toxic bullshit because we focused on the hope that our future could be like their past.

But as time went on I could feel his hope for us dwindle and so I did what I could to make it easy for him to leave. He said goodbye and I cut myself out of his life because while I never thought I’d be able to move on, I wanted to give him the chance to.

Every late night call, every midday “just because” text and story to share – I fought the urge to contact him.

I fought every day to make it easier for him, I couldn’t be remembered as that girl who just couldn’t let go. But then the inevitable happened and I finally felt it all…and all at once.

He moved on and did nothing to consider my feelings.

And it was in that moment, I realized I was still living my life for him- thinking of his needs even when I wasn’t any longer what he wanted- and so I said goodbye.

I stopped being numb to his pain. I felt the emotions until they broke my heart over and over again. I replayed the memories and what-ifs until I realized I was still drowning in our toxic relationship but no one else was there to save me.

Now I killed every part of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and moved on.

You Let Her Think You Both Were On The Same Page

Love is hard. You can fall in love a million and one times, and for a million and one different reasons but no matter what, love only works once. It’s when you find your person that everything falls into place because when that happens, you can make it through anything together.

She thought you were her person because when she looked at you she could see her future when you hugged her she felt at home, and when you kissed her she felt what she’d been missing out with everyone else…she felt loved.

She was so willing to bet on you that she just dove head first into this. She gave you her heart without skipping a beat. She let go of any doubt and just simply let every ounce of her fall into you.

Because when it’s love and you’re so sure it’s the real deal, you don’t act logically and calculate every move. It’s not supposed to make sense, it’s just supposed to work as if it was always meant to be.

So when she thought you were it, she was sure you would catch her, and everything would fall into place. But it didn’t.

You didn’t catch her and nothing fell into place…it just fell apart faster than she could prepare herself for.

It’s a painful break to the heart to realize someone would rather watch you fall than catch you. It’s hard to swallow that rejection especially when you’ll never know why they didn’t want to commit to a love this big.

But for her, she could live with knowing you’d rather walk away than give this a real try. She could accept that you were a coward that couldn’t man up and handle this in a less devastating way.

What she couldn’t handle was the fact that she so strongly believed you were it, that you shared the same love and were on the same page. But, you were never committed to this.

She gave you all of her and only ever asked for the true, authentic you in return. Instead, you fed her with shallow gestures of a love from a perfect man, who’d rather pull on her heartstrings than have her heart.

Playing games, and only halfway committing to love is never going to work. It’s never going to be enough for a person who deserves more and knows what real love could be.

And she may have been a temporary game to you, but she knows she’ll be a forever love for someone else. It may have taken some time but she now sees you were just one of the millions and not the one in a million.

Before You Fall For The Girl Who’s Been Through A Lot, Know This

She’ll break down your ego, call out your bullshit and expose every part of your soul. She won’t be like anyone you’ve ever met. You’re going to be forever changed in the most meaningful of ways.

She’s not going to hold back for the sake of slow playing this. When she wants to make herself and her opinions known, she will. And when she needs time to recharge, she won’t think twice about giving herself some alone time.

There is no filter with her- she’ll show you every bit of her.

You see, she’s never needed anyone to tell her who she has to be or who she should be, and she’s not going to start now. When no one else wanted to, she took the time to learn who she really is, and now she embraces every single part of it. It may seem like a challenge trying to figure her out, but she’ll love you deeper than someone who’s just one-sided.

And for her, the challenge will be letting you love her.

It’s not easy for someone who is so used to being her own person to just give that role to you. She’s going to question it, doubt it and maybe even fight it – but that’s just her slowly trusting you.

She’s built an outer shell that’s made her an independent, inscrutable, take no shit kind of girl.

But at the core of her is just a big-hearted girl capable of an extraordinary love but afraid of giving a piece of her heart to someone who will leave with it. It’s happened before so rather than be afraid of love, she’s learned to love herself.

Every time you think you’ve figured her out, you’ll hit another one of the walls guarding her heart.

It will be the most defeating feeling, but try to remember she’s trying just as hard as you are. She wasn’t always this way, but when you’re used to being let down, you’re forced to put a shield up.

Logically she’ll get that her past, her pain, and her broken heart have made her the girl you love today but emotionally she’ll resist letting herself be that vulnerable. It’s just too overwhelming for her to share that with you because she’s already been broken once before.

There’s only a certain number of times someone can break before there’s nothing left.

She’ll be broken and guarded, but she’ll be the most important person you’ll ever fall in love with. Because it will take work and effort but the moment she gives you her heart – it will be worth everything. She’ll be used to only living for her, the way she wants to but she wants to build a life with someone else where she can share life’s burdens and joys. So when she feels like she’s met the person for her- she’ll want them to choose her.

So when you really get to know her- each and every layer- you’ll feel like you’re meant to choose her. Don’t ever forget that feeling, because it won’t always be easy but she’ll make up for it with her love for you.

I Want A Guy Who Actually Gives A Shit About Me

There’s no denying it, life isn’t easy to do alone. I want a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold when I’m struggling. But it’s hard to keep giving others a chance with my heart when it only comes back more broken than before.

I’m tired of convincing myself that someone deserves my heart just because they want it and not because they’ve actually proven that they deserve it. I want a guy who actually gives a shit about me.

He’ll show his love with actions.

When he says he’s going to show up, he’s going to. He’s going to care about how my day went and do all the little things that will make it better. He’ll warm the car up on a cold day, carry the heavier grocery bags, and try his best to make every date night special for us.

He’ll make an effort to show that he cares because it’s second nature to him and not because he’s in the doghouse.

He’s going to talk me up to everyone he knows not because he wants to make me look good but because he’s proud to show me off.

He’ll want to spend all of his time with me but never threaten my independence.

I won’t have to feel like a backup plan because he’ll never make excuses. He’ll say “yes” and not “maybe” when I ask to do the things that I want to do.  And it won’t be clingy, or overbearing because it will just seem natural to do most things together.

And when we’re not together, he won’t forget that I exist.

He won’t ghost me on the weekends or have me worried about his “free time” because he’ll always want to call and let me know that I’m missed, cared about and extremely loved.

And if shit hits the fan between us, he’ll respect my space but he’ll never leave my side.

He won’t disregard a fight as something I’ll get over. He’ll work to make things better because he never wants to be the reason I’m hurt. He’ll actually give a shit about my feelings.

He’ll make me look forward to our future together because each and every day he will inspire and bring out the best of me.

But he’ll still make me feel like the way I am now, even with all my imperfections is already perfect.

He’ll give a shit about me because when it comes to love, I’m no longer settling.

Before I Walk Away, This is What I Have to Say

Why does it feel like this is never ending? You’re supposed to be my forever, but not in this way. I know where I’m supposed to be when it’s you and me, together. But when we’re not, when we’ve hit rock bottom, I can’t even find my way out of this darkness let alone my way back to your side.

I’d make the effort to choose you every single day, but I won’t keep fighting for it as if this is the norm. I can’t stay with you if it means staying in this cycle.

And you can tell me that it’s different, that we know better, we’ll do better, we’ll be better. But we’ve been here too many times for me to believe that. Please don’t get me wrong, I trust you and I trust that you would do what it takes to make this work, but there’s a reason we can’t seem to get our forever and it’s much bigger than just you and I.

I can’t stay this time. The love is here, I know that, trust me I know that. But fighting for it when we’re in such a dark place and you feel so far out of reach seems useless. I’m not even sure we would still fit together because honestly, too much has changed. Everything has changed me that I can’t keep carrying on like this is fine, that fighting is fine, that you and I are fine.

I want to love you but I can’t anymore.

I feel like we’re in this marathon and we’re supposed to reach the finish line, but our bodies are giving up and we just need to stop. It’s hurting too much, my heart is cramping and I’m ready to call defeat.

It’s a devastating feeling to admit this and even harder to share with you.

You have shared a love with me that I’ll never regret. You have given me something that I can’t live without. I hope you know that I’ve meant every word I’ve ever said to you because you have meant everything to me.

So seeing your heartbreak because I won’t let you come closer and save me anymore isn’t easy. But please don’t try to change my mind. Don’t ask me to stay. I can’t love you anymore. I know it sounds so cruel but I’m doing this for you too.

We need to end this because we need to live and not just survive.

To My Guy, I Promise to Give You More Than Just My Heart

If I can make one promise to you it is that I will love you with all that I have. No, I can’t guarantee that everything will be perfect and easy, but none of that will matter because I promise to give you far more than just my heart. 

You deserve so much more than you’ve ever felt before. You are too giving, kind and patient of a man to have anything less than all of me.

I will learn to appreciate every single one of your quirks even your oh so cute way of leaving the laundry on the floor rather than in the basket.

When we argue, I promise to forgive you quickly and say sorry first. But more importantly, I will try my hardest to make sure I don’t just yell at you just because I’m hungry.

I promise to not only choose you every…single…day…but I promise to inspire you, laugh with you, cherish you, reassure you and grow with you for the rest of my days.

And even then, I’m not sure a lifetime will be long enough for me to give you the love that you have already given me.

Because in you, I have found my person, my best friend, and my home. I’ll never know where this journey of life will take us but you make me feel like I’ll never have to walk it alone.

You are the best thing that could ever and has ever happened to me and I won’t ever take that for granted. From our morning to cuddles to our late night kisses, I’m going to love you because I never want to lose you.

50 Quotes Worthy of Your Belfie Caption

Taking a butt selfie aka a belfie is no easy feat. Not only do you need the right angle and lighting, but you need a fire caption to really make it Instagram worthy. 100% guaranteed one of these captions will compliment your derriere perfectly. You can always get some help with ideas on essaywritinghelp.pro to create the best caption.

1.  “Calvin asked for my number, but I da klein’d.”

2.  “Doing more squats so my ass matches my sass.”

3.  “Be a little more you, and a lot less them.”

4.  “Confidence level: belfie with no filter.”

5.  “Be a badass with a good ass.”

The Truth Is, You Should’ve Been A Better Man

You were a complicated man. I didn’t think it mattered. I knew I had feelings for you and cared about you deeply but I just thought if I wanted to, I could make those feelings go away. I didn’t realize how hard I was falling for you and how real these feelings were.

I’ve always been good at protecting my heart. Extremely selective on who I gave bits and pieces too and I always, always did my best to listen to logic over the pitter patters of my heart.  And truthfully, I didn’t think it would be different with you.

I thought I could be around you, talk all day and night to you, and let you into my life without anything changing…without my heart-attaching to anything.

But I was wrong. I was wrong about it all, what I thought, how I felt…everything. I was even wrong about you.

I’ve escaped mediocre love before. I know what a toxic relationship looks like and I know my worth well enough to know when to walk away.

I’m not naive, I know how fragile a heart can be and I don’t risk a break for anyone.

That’s why I kept my guard up with you for so long, only giving you the layers I thought you could handle. I didn’t overthink this, I expected you to be like every other guy. But when you kept fighting to break down my wall and for a place in my heart, I started to think differently.

I started to believe in you because you, and only you, gave me a reason to. I didn’t need you to make feel special, but you did. I didn’t need you to lift me up when I struggled with my inner demons, but you did. I was scared to dive into such a big love, but you told me you were my safety net.

I wasn’t naive. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t overthinking anything.

Whatever you said, I took verbatim. Whatever you did, I believed in faithfully. I had no reason to. You were loving me in a way no one else has before. There were no narcissistic red flags, and this didn’t feel toxic. This felt so real that when you ended it, I was completely blindsided.

You gave me a love I’ve never felt before and then you gave me a feeling of complete hopelessness. It was the hardest fall and I don’t blame you for not catching me. It’s life, it’s the risk of finding love and I’m proud of myself for giving love a chance.

I won’t ever forget what we had. And I want you to know I won’t ever forgive you. I never have and I never will blame you for this not working, because I can’t hold it against you for not wanting this. But I will never forgive you for how you handle this.

You went from making me feel like everything to absolutely nothing.

You knew full well the effect you had on me, my heart and my world and you didn’t have the decency to show a touch of compassion. You walked away so fast and easily, you didn’t even see my heart break to pieces.

You didn’t have to love me for the rest of your life if that’s not what you felt. You didn’t have to apologize for putting your needs and wants first. But you could have been a better man. You could have at least acted like what we had meant something more than just a fleeting moment.

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