Author: lunden stallings

I used to be that girl who was checking through my Instagram worried how many likes I got on a recent post and comparing my life to famous models on my social media. 

I have realized that none of those things make for a pretty picture or happy life. 

Then, I became the girl the girl that always loved someone more than they loved me. I was drowning in lack of self-love. It has taken me awhile, and I am still in the process of learning. 

1. If it makes you happy,  do it.

Discover your true needs. Find out what’s most important for you to have and keep in your life. What you truly need as opposed to what you simply want. Take time to figure out the things you enjoy doing that makes you happy, and invest in those things.

2. Be proud of every little thing about yourself.

Find and list 5 things that you can appreciate about yourself. It could be that you are sticking to your diet, or that you are a good listener, it doesn’t have to be big things that matter. 

Maybe you stopped yourself from buying those shoes you really wanted and spent that money one something you needed, or you simply flossed your teeth this morning. 

3. Remind yourself you. are. worthy.

Start your day by doing what you love. Whether that is reading a book, going for a jog, having your morning coffee, doing yoga, anything is acceptable if you are doing what makes you happy. This will turn every day into a good day.

4. Laugh even when there's nothing to actually laugh at.

Laughing is one of the best things you can do for yourself. If you are laughing, you are happy. 

Go out with your friends and laugh, watch your favorite show that makes you laugh. Literally, anything that is making you laugh is good for you and you need more of. 

5. Tiptoe out of your comfort zone.

Try something new. Learn a new language. Go places you’ve never been. Meet people you’ve never met. Do things you’ve never done before. 

You deserve to have any opportunity in the world. Go out and find yourself in the world.

6. But always be patient with your heart.

Everything takes time. Don’t just be patient with others, be patient with yourself. Trust in yourself and you will see the results.

7. Let go of anything not worth holding on to.

This step is the hardest step but one of the most important. There is no possible way you can be with someone that holds you back or doesn’t offer you your best interest if you want to love yourself. Love yourself enough to let go. 

Remember if you were okay before them, you’ll be okay after them.

8. Focus less on others and more on yourself.

Live your life how you want, not how other people expect you to. This is so important. If you spend your time trying to satisfy others and no yourself you will never be happy with your life. Do the things you love to do and surround yourself with happiness. 

The more you start to focus on yourself, the happier you will become.

9. Cut yourself some slack.

There’s going to be days that you hate the world, nothing’s going your way, hate your appearance, and just want to stay inside and never leave your house. And honestly? That’s okay. 

Take a hot bath, go get a whole tub of ice cream, enjoy yourself because you deserve it. It doesn’t matter your age, who you are, what you look like, I promise these things will work.

10. Give yourself credit.

It’s time to put yourself first. It’s time to give yourself credit. It’s time to become a better you. Take action and be the change for yourself. 

Know your worth and know that you are awesome, beautiful, hardworking, all things wonderful, and everything in between. It’s time to love yourself.

We tend to blame society for racism, body shaming, who you love, what you look like, and everything in between. Most people say, “it’s because of this generation” but maybe it’s not that, maybe it’s the actions of other people.

Why are we teaching young girls that if they want to feel beautiful they can’t leave the house without makeup and they must weigh a certain amount? Why is it when you see a young black male walking the streets you think he’s out to steal something, when he could be walking home from school because he doesn’t have a ride. Why is it when you see someone overweight in the gym next to you working out, you still judge them yet society tells us they need to be losing weight and when they try they get judged. Why is it you judge that 18-year-old girl that gets pregnant but still graduates, earns a degree, becomes a single mom, and works a full-time job. Many are disgusted at women breast-feeding their baby in public but have no problem with half naked women modeling on their Instagram feed. Why are we so caught up in everyone else’s lives when we forget who we really are? Be kind, love others, help others, encourage others, be happy for the good in each others lives.

Everyone claims they “hate society” and we continue to blame society but we are society. When you see someone making fun of someone else, stand up for that person don’t tag along. If you see that overweight person in the gym, encourage them and give them credit for their hard work. Everyone in this world is so caught up in the way people look or how they express themselves when they should be focusing on true happiness.

Happiness is the one thing we have to make the world a better place. People are never satisfied. So, stop trying to satisfy them. Go out do what you love, love who you love, and love what you do. Be your own happiness. If it makes you genuinely happy, that is something no one will be able to take from you. The world is yours. This is your life and you only have one shot at it. Stop blaming society and be a part of the change.

She’s the one that feeds you. She’s the one that buys you those shoes you’ve been wanting for weeks. She’s the one that wipes the tears from your face when you’ve had a bad day. 

She’s the one that holds you when nothing in the world seems to go right. She’s the one that takes care of you. She’s the one that loves you. She is everything.

Your first word was mama; she has always been the light in your life. She was your first best friend, your first love. Growing up you would sleepover at a friends house and want to go home in the middle of the night because you missed your mom. 

She would be the one to slip on her house shoes and drive over to pick you up at 1 A.M.  

She never missed a dance recital, softball game, class holiday party, golf match, kindergarten to high school graduation; she was always there with a camcorder capturing every joy-filled moment. She is bliss.

When she sent you off to college she watched her world crumble right in front of her. Just like a baby bird leaving its nest. She called five times a day just to hear your voice to make sure you’re okay, just to tell you she loved you. 

She begged you to come back home every weekend you could because seeing you is like Christmas to her. She sent you a care package to your dorm room PO box just to make you smile. She is love.

“Thank you” will never be enough words to describe the thanks and gratitude I have towards my mom. Since the day my brother, sister, and I were born she has never stopped doing everything she can for us. 

She put a roof over our head, she kept our bellies full, she put us through school to get an education, she raised us to love others and to be kind, she pushes us each and every day to become a better person, she loves us more than she loves herself. 

She is the kind of mother I aspire to be.

You are my world, momma. You laid your life down to raise us, serve us, and show us how to love. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. The way you give to others and spread your love to people you don’t even know. 

Thank you for every big moment, but most importantly, thank you for every little, blissful, beautiful moment in between. 

I love you.