Author: Lyla Mills

So, you meet a guy. Or you meet a girl. And you like them. You feel like, "Maybe this could go somewhere…" 

Nowadays, it's common to go through this unknown phase of "talking".

It's this phase that often leaves you texting your friends asking, "What does this mean?" or "Should I be worried about [insert some cryptic text/some description of some Snapchat]"

Maybe I'm old-fashioned. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I absolutely hate this phase.

Wait, let me explain…

Say you've "talked" to a person for a few weeks, maybe gone out with them… When you get to know a person, you begin to see their flaws, or the little things that irritate you about that person.

Okay, so you begin to talk to someone new, someone you haven't "talked" to for weeks, gone out with… And you haven't begun to pick out their flaws. They're more exciting than the one you've begun to get to know.

You could argue and say, "If I'm interested in the new person, why would I stick with the old?"

The reason would be because you could meet someone who could really make you happy, but you pass up on that person because you're not dedicated in getting to know them. You're distracted. 

I'm not saying commit to someone right away, but I am saying give yourself a chance to really get to know this person. Give it a chance. Give it some time. Because if you don't and you pass this person up for someone "fresh", that "fresh" person might not be what you expected. 

You wake up and check your social media and there it is. Another engagement. Another wedding. Another job announcement. Another baby announcement. It’s a typical day on Facebook, and it’s really getting to you.

Maybe you haven’t told anyone the way you’re feeling. Maybe you have. You’re still waiting for your moment, still waiting on your happy ending.

You’re feeling so very left behind…like everyone is moving forward and here you are, frozen in your tracks. 

Keep your chin up. It’s hard, I know. You feel like you’ve been waiting your whole life for that happy ending, and now you’re falling so far behind. 

It’s getting to be almost impossible to be happy for those with the announcements. Yet, you still put on a brave face and smile, you still do feel happy for them. 

These emotions feel impossibly conflicting. You’re happy for them, but your heart just keeps on sinking.

Don’t settle and don’t cry. Don’t ever feel like you’ve done anything wrong in this life of yours. 

“But why did she get her happy ending, and why have I have gone through so much pain?”

There isn’t an answer to your questions, but just know that you’re not alone. There are plenty of other girls out there who feel the same sadness and loneliness that you do.

And one day, you’ll find it. It’ll fit. You won’t have settled and it will blow your mind just how amazing life is. You’ll get your happy ending. 

Just don’t lose hope, because you’re going to find whatever it is that you’re looking for soon.

Please don’t beat yourself up. Please don’t feel alone. Because it’s not your fault, your happy ending will come, and you are not alone in these times of trial. 

Okay, you've made mistakes. You've taken wrong turns. You've hit rock bottom. You've been places you never thought you'd be. You f*cked up, in one way or another. You got sucked into a black hole. But, here's the thing…

Your past does not define your future.

It certainly doesn't define who you are as a person. 

You worked hard to get where you are now. You climbed out of that black hole. You made better choices. You gained strength, courage, and so many valuable life lessons. You turned your life around. 

Yes, you may falter. You will may mistakes. But, that, by NO means, means that you're back where you started. It does NOT take away everything that you've achieved, everything that you've worked so hard for. 

We all make mistakes. 

Don't let those new mistakes define you, or let you think that you've sunk back into that black hole. Don't let anyone tell you that you've thrown away your progress. Because, guess what? You haven't.

Only you know what you're thinking. Only you know how far you've come, mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

You are so strong. You have made it through so much. When you look back on everything that you've accomplished, everything that you've been through, let it bring you a sense of pride. 

Most people just look at how far they have to go, instead of how far they've come.

Don't let your past define who you are, or your future. You've accomplished so much and come so far. I'm proud of you. Be proud of yourself. Stay strong. Keep moving on. 

I miss you more than you could ever imagine. I miss talking to you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss the way you’d say my name and the way you’d laugh at something I’d say. I miss you holding me, holding my hand.

I remember the first time we looked into each other’s eyes. I remember the way you titled my chin so that you could kiss me. 

We had so many good memories, so many deep conversations. You were the one I trusted with all of my secrets, all of my problems, all of my silliness, and all of my fears. We told each other we’d always be there for one another. We told each other we cared.

I just wish that you’d remembered all of the good times, remembered just how much I used to matter to you. I wish that you realized we were the same people, and that things could go back to the way that they used to be. It just required some work, some effort, some energy, some time…

Most of all, I just wish that you hadn’t given up. I wish that you’d realized how much I meant it when I said I’d stand by your side, no matter what, through times of trial and through times of great joy. I wish you knew how much I cared for you. How much I would’ve done to make things work.

I miss you terribly. I feel a void. I would never wish you pain, or unhappiness, but I do hope that you think about me, and I hope that, one day, you realize just how much you lost out on.  

The first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one I wanted to see forever.

The first time you held my hand, I knew you the one I wanted to hold hands for the rest of my life.

The first time we kissed, I knew you were the one I wanted to kiss after walking down the aisle.

But, life had other plans.

You are the one I imagined a future with. I believed I was so incredibly lucky to have met you, to have you in my life. 

Every time you looked at me, I melted. 

Every time I heard your voice, I craved to hear it more.

You put together the broken pieces of my heart and then you walked away.

There are no words to explain how much I miss you, what I would give to hear your voice one more time. 

We have now gone our separate ways, and though it may be for the best, it hurts beyond words. You were the one to help heal my heart, but you are also the one to break it.

"Always be yourself. Unless you can be a mermaid. Then always be a mermaid."

Mermaids might seem like they just spend their days combing their long, beautiful hair on rocks halfway submerged in the salty water of the ocean, but they really do have so much wisdom to share with the world.

1. Have no fear of depth. Have a fear of shallow living. 

Do not fear digging deeper into your soul, swimming deeper into the unknown. You'll find out a lot about yourself, find out secrets that only your souls knows. Don't live on the surface. You'll soon find out that it's better in the depths of the mysteries of your life.

2. If your thighs touch, you're one step closer to being a mermaid.

Love yourself for who you are, no matter what you look like. Don't compare yourself to others, or their body shapes, or their life journey. You are your own unique person. You are you, someone completely individual and made specially for this world.

3. Sometimes, you just have to go with the waves.

Life is all about change. It's all about being able to not let the little negative things that happen in your life drag you down. 

4. Come out of your shell.

Be yourself, no matter if that person is a person who wants to dance the chicken dance in public. Own who you are. Be able to express yourself in the ways you want to express yourself. Don't hold yourself down. Don't hold yourself back.

5. Come up for air.

When life gets tough, it's okay to take a step back. Mermaids come up to the surface for air every once in a while, so can you. You are fully allowed to wallow in your feelings every once in a while. Just don't spend too much in the air. Be sure you give yourself enough time to feel the way you feel, process what has happened, but get back to swimming, get back to fighting the currents. 

"A 7-foot alligator captured off Tybee Island last week has been euthanized, according to a report.

The incident came days after an alligator snatched a toddler at a lagoon at the Walt Disney Resort in Orlando. The toddler’s body was found the next day." – AJC

"It's not clear what led to the attack.

FWC officials captured and euthanized the alligator Tuesday." – Orlando Sentinel

"Three of the gators, all 6 feet long or larger, were euthanized, The Valdosta Daily Times reported."  – Times Free Press

All of my sympathy goes out to those that have lost loved ones to an alligator attack, or have had a loved one attacked by an alligator.

It's horrible.

But, in my opinion, these animals should not be punished.

Especially those animals that are just "spotted" in their natural habitat, and then taken out of it just to be euthanized.

This world was theirs first. 

We are the guests.

In these places where see skyscrapers, there used to be just land, vast land that nature was allowed to exist on without the fear or worry about humans.

I think we take advantage of that.

We think that because we bigger, we are "smarter", we are more evolved, that we matter more. That our lives matter more.

(*NOTE: Not saying that that two year-old's life taken by the alligator in Orlando at the Disney resort was not a tragedy, it was.)

So, I'm asking for everyone to consider this, even when these creatures act out, why punish them? They are simply acting on their nature.

And why punish those that don't even act out, that are just simply existing, simply being themselves?

I believe in wildlife centers where wildlife can just simply exist without worrying that it's stepping on a human being's toes.

If your dog, if your cat, if your snake, if your bird… they all have feelings, what makes you think that other animals don't?

Horses?

Cows?

Chickens?

Alligators?

Sharks?

Just something to think about.

I cannot wait to finally be able to meet you, to finally be able to hold you in my arms, listen to your little coos, and kiss your precious forehead. You will be my absolute world and my love for you will be unconditional, unceasing, and so pure.

Yet, I know that I was a handful at times, and I know that you will be one too. If you have my attitude and some of my fatal flaws, I know that there will be times that I'll have to lay down the law, be the "bad guy". 

But, through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I will forever be your mother. I will forever be the one that will always have your back, always support you, and always love you.

So, here my 12 promises to you, my sweet angel:

1. I promise to always validate your feelings.

2. I promise to always try my absolute best to never say anything in heated moments that will damage our relationship.

3. I promise to make many sacrifices for you, as small as letting you have the last piece of dessert to as big as putting your education/your future ahead of my wants, such as a new stove or new fridge.

4. I promise to take care of myself, so that I can take care of you.

5. I promise to always tell you that I love you, never assuming that you just know that I do.

6. I promise to hold you as you cry, from the first boo boo you get to the first heartbreak you experience.

7. I promise to fairly punish you when you do wrong, because it's my job to teach you right from wrong. (Even if you don't believe it to be fair.)

8. I promise to always work on our relationship, always fostering it with attention, care, and giving.

9. I promise to be at all your big life moments, cheering you on with loud claps and lots and lots of screaming.

10. I promise to guard your heart and let go of it when you find the right soulmate, the right companion, the right person to nurture it as I did.

11. I promise to never judge you, whether you are suffering from anxiety, depression, self-harm, and never to judge who you choose to love.

12. I promise to be the best mother that I can possibly be.

So, darling daughter, I cannot wait to meet you. I will uphold these promises with all of my heart. Forever and ever. Through thick and through thin. I love you, future daughter. 

Pain. 

We've all felt it. 

And if you cut open all of us, we'd all bleed, every single one of us. We've all lost things and people important to us. We've all felt like giving up.

So, why inflict that on someone? 

Why purposefully make someone with a soul and emotions feel that pain? There's no point.

I don't refuse to associate with anyone because of their beliefs. Because guess what? Their beliefs/opinions are THEIR beliefs/opinions.

I hate the stereotypes that are associated with politics and religion. 

They're hateful and you CANNOT classify people. 

You cannot just label human beings based upon their religion or political party.

You need to get to know the soul inside. 

We all need to step up and stop hating each other. 

Stop purposefully inflicting pain upon others. 

We need to realize we're all in this together. 

We're all suffering through personal problems together. 

If you wouldn't want someone labeling or treating you a certain way, don't go doing it to them.

“But love doesn’t make sense! You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost, and love is dead and humanity should pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.??? – HIMYM

Love isn’t about being happy all the time.

It doesn’t mean that everything is going to be okay every second of the relationship.

It certainly doesn’t fix the problems you are bound to run into.

But, what love is, is something that should be cherished.

It’s this thing that no one has really figured out. No one knows the right formula. No one knows how to exactly keep their relationship happy, no one knows how to make sure the person you’ve fallen in love with isn’t just going to pack their bags and leave.

Love is a leap of faith.

It’s trust. Trusting that your partner will be honest with you about how they’re feeling. Trusting that when you look into their eyes, or when you’re on the phone and about to hang up, that those words, “I love you” are meant whole heartedly. They’re meant with passion and raw emotion.

You might fall in and out of love multiple times, might get your heart completely broken by it, and might even be one of the lucky ones who gets it right the first time around, but one this is for sure. Love is meant to be something precious, something that needs to be cherished, nurtured, and protected.

So, to all my couples out there, cherish your love. Know that love doesn’t cure all the hardships. It doesn’t stop all the fights. It doesn’t make it so no one sheds a tear. It simply is. Love simply is love. It’s something that if you have it, if you feel it, you’ll know. You’ll know because it’s terrifying and wonderful at the same time.

Hold onto it. 

Have faith.

Because love, despite not being able to solve every problem you might face, is wonderful and it’s something truly remarkable and something you’ll only ever be able to feel if you take a chance and let yourself feel it.

So, please, take a chance.

“When you meet the right person, you know it. You can’t stop thinking about them. They are your best friend, and your soulmate. You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare.” – HIMYM