You don’t know it yet, but the last time we spoke was the last time you’ll hear from me. In a few months, we will nothing more than distant memories to each other.
I didn’t tell you everything I wanted to. I kept it simple like you always preferred, but here’s what I really wanted to say:
We’re growing apart and we can’t blame that on distance. It’s happening because we have to change, I have to change.
It’s a difficult concept to grasp, especially in this era of instant gratification that we live in, but we just can’t force what’s meant to be.
We want love, we want to find that forever person who makes life so much easier, but if we’re not ready for them yet, it’s not going to happen.
Things like this can’t be rushed, there is a purpose in the waiting. So between the ex and the next lover, there needs to be some time: to heal, grown, discover, change.
Once our hearts have been shattered, maybe more than once, and before it’s ready to take that risk again it needs to be healed.
It needs time to be on its own, to rediscover who it is (who we are) and what it wants in life.
It needs time to grow, become strong. To learn how to not fall so quickly over those cheesy pickup lines and cute smiles anymore.
It needs to know what it wants in a person and a relationship, and most importantly, how it wants to be treated as a person.
This ‘in between’ time isn’t a bad thing, regardless of how long we might feel like we’re just waiting for our next love.
So why not give our hearts a break?
Let it run free, or not at all.
Let it take the time it needs to piece itself back together, instead of searching for someone else to heal it.
Let it figure out what it wants out of life, out of love.
All the little things from those past relationships aren’t going to give the same butterflies for the next one, so we need to let our hearts redefine the way we let people treat us.
We need to fall in love with ourselves and all those beautiful pieces we once loved about us.
We won’t try to make our happily ever after happen, we’ll wait for it.
Beautiful things take time, are never rushed or forced.
So don’t rush love, don’t force your heart, don’t fall over another fool who doesn’t understand the beauty that is in you.
There is the purpose in your waiting, it is needed.
So take the time, no matter how long it takes.
Your heart will thank you.
If there were a simple fix for a broken heart, we’d all be so much happier. Even if there were a way to put a band-aid over a crack just to help it along a little bit, life would be so much easier.
But that’s not the case, is it? And I’d like to say that “time heals all wounds” but let’s be real, time heals nothing.
Especially for girls with fragile hearts because they love too much and too hard for their own good.
Even if the other person isn’t deserving of her love she’ll give it to them anyway. She wants so badly to see the good in every person, so matter how many stabs they’ve taken.
These are the hearts that hold on long after their “better half” has let go and will fight for them when they aren’t even concerned about it.
She’s the type to jump headfirst into love. She doesn’t know how to fall slowly, or how to be guarded, how to let go, or even how to move on.
She would love to be able to be cold and distant, to hold herself back and not let herself open up to just anyone. But she can’t help it, that’s just not in her nature.
And that’s what sticks with her. The feeling that she tries so hard and does everything she can for everyone else and yet, here she is, alone and broken hearted.
When a fragile heart gets broken, it’s not just a one-time thing. It’s every chip and every crack that’s ever been gets ripped open again and every gut-wrenching memory comes rushing back.
When it breaks it breaks deep, like the first time all over again. She’s so familiar with pain at this point that she doesn’t even know how to use it to shape her heart for the better.
Because she got her hopes up that she had found the one, that he’d be able to piece her fragile heart back together after all the damage it has seen.
Instead, he shattered not only her heart but her soul. And even worse, she can’t help but blame herself for another failed attempt at love.
But her heart won’t give up, it will keep searching and keep trusting until she finds the one who doesn’t let her down, who’ll never stop loving her.
Because she knows exactly what she is worth and nothing will change that.
There are so many words I want to scream at you, but it seems as though I forgot how to speak.
You broke my heart in a way I didn’t think you were capable of.
All this time, I was convinced that you were different than all the rest, that you were one of the good ones, but you used me just the same.
You put on such a good show, you really had me fooled. And part of me is still under your spell.
I know I should hate you. I should hate you with every ounce of my being, but I just can't.
I gave you everything, all of me. I didn't take that lightly, and I didn't think you did either.
But it turns out you were just leading me on to get what you wanted.
I completely trusted you and you took advantage of that without so much as a second thought. You mirrored my feelings and made me feel understood, when in reality all you understood was how to play me.
You let me fall deeper into your act. You knew how real my feelings were but that didn’t matter to you. Nothing mattered as long as you were getting what you wanted, you were content with stringing together lie after lie to keep me invested.
And you didn't care about the consequences, about how it would make me feel when I realized it was all just an act.
All you knew was that the closer and longer you kept me, the more you could get out of me. It's sick the way you manipulated my mind, and played with my heart.
I didn't see it until it was too late.
I gave you my heart and you stomped all over it.
I gave you all of me and you took advantage.
I should hate you. I want to hate you.
But I don’t think I can.
When we were growing up, we rarely took the time to take a step back and memorize the details of our lives in that moment. There are things that happened then that you wouldn’t even remember now, but at the time were everything to you.
You wouldn’t be able to put a finger on what exactly it was that made you the way you are today, but that’s because it wasn’t just one thing. It was a collection of things, it was everything, it’s your hometown.
Home is the place that taught you about life and family.
Where you learned what it meant to be a sister and daughter. You were given a section of a house that became your sanctuary. Four walls inside your childhood home that held all your deepest dreams and most cherished memories.
It’s the first place you called home, where you ran to when life got hard, and where you felt the most love and happiness.
Your first school, it’s where you learned to become inspired and your mind was nurtured and nourished with knowledge.
Here, your dreams developed. You grasped your first lessons of friendship, and love. You remember the rumors spread, the ones about you and the ones you started.
This is the place you first experienced betrayal, and discovered that heartache can come in many forms.
You remember the parks and paths where your imagination ran wild, where your friends became your partners in crime and your sidekicks.
It’s where your dreams became reality. You learned that anything was possible if you just believed. Walk along those wooded paths and realize those trees know all your secrets, you could sit beneath one and inhale fresh air and exhale all your worries.
You were free to be you, no judgements, and you learned that the only opinion that matters is your own. You grew into your own skin.
Take a drive down those 25 mph streets and see the houses that used to be the homes of your best friend, first boyfriend, and your family.
You remember sitting on those steps, laughing in that front yard with your friends, and scraping your knee on this sidewalk.
The windows that used to frame a moment in the life of you, your friends, and family, now house a different cast. They’re someone else’s places now. But you know that the memories you have you can hold forever.
Because they are the reason you are who you are.
Take a walk through the town where you grow up, down all the streets and sidewalks that led you to who you became.
Leaving behind someone who was once a big part of your life can be mentally consuming. Whether he broke it off or you did, chances are you're going to miss him a whole lot.
The only way to get over someone is to stop thinking about them, but sometimes, when your thoughts start to eat you alive, you just can't.
1. Why didn't he want me?
2. I'm not good enough.
3. I miss him so much.
4. I'll never stop missing him.
5. I can't live without him.
6. He never even cared about me, why would he?.
7. I'll never get over him.
8. He doesn't miss me.
9. I need him.
10. He was everything I wanted.
11. Life is miserable without him.
12. I'll never stop thinking about him.
13. I wonder if he ever thinks about me.
14. Of course he isn't thinking about me.
15. I don't deserve him.
16. It's all my fault.
17. I want to talk to him.
18. Why wasn't I better?
19. Did he ever care about me?
20. I'm not pretty enough.
21. I didn't make him happy.
22. I'll never find anyone.
23. He was the only good part about me.
24. I couldn't make it work.
25. No one will ever want me.
There’s something you need to know about the girl who wants to be loved more than anything, something that is hard for her to admit. Her ugly truth.
For love, she will do whatever it takes to gain your love and attention.
Even when she knows that what she’s doing isn’t right. Even though she knows it won’t get her what she wants in the end.
Somewhere along the line, our culture has intertwined the terms love and physical contact. Sex no longer means being intimate and vulnerable with the person you love, but sleeping with someone because you want to fulfill a desire.
When you’re so ready for love you always think “maybe this time will be different” but it never is.
So why does she do it? Why does she give in?
Because for just a few moments it might actually feel like you care for her, that it means something to you, that it is more than just getting your needs met but the fact that she is the one meeting them.
And when the night is done you make sweet promises, and even though she’s heard them all before she’ll hope that this time you mean it, that this time you will follow through. That again, this time it will be different.
When you don’t follow through, even though she knew you wouldn’t…when you haven’t talked to her in days even though she tried…
She blames herself.
It’s her fault all over again. But how? Why?
Because she failed again, she let her guard down, she told herself that this time it would be different, that this time she would be stronger than your temptation, and she failed. You won. Again.
But it’s her fault right?! Because she knew from the start that this isn’t the way to your heart, to your time or attention, to your love. No, it never is.
Time and time again she gives in. Why?
Because she’s aching to be loved, even if it's fake, even if it's only for a moment. Because she cares for you more than she cares to admit, and is afraid to decline you.
So, before you kiss her and before you slide your hand around her waist. What are you thinking about? How wonderful she is or just simply getting what you want?
Don’t kiss her unless you mean it.
For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!
You sneak into every possible thought I have and I don’t know what to do about them anymore. I honestly have no idea if I should be holding on or simply let you be.
Because, if I’m still being honest, I am scared no matter what I decide to do.
I ask myself all the time, “what are you doing?” Why hold on to you when I already know your answer.
Are these feelings still here because they are real and are supposed to be here, or are they only here because I refuse to let go of them, purposefully keeping them around.
Again, I honestly have no idea. Because with you; things are different and yet still too familiar.
With you, everything comes naturally even though I am trying harder than ever to play everything cool. Our conversations take no effort, we enjoy each other’s company.
We’re the same people surrounded by friends or left alone on the rare chances. After all this time we still seem to fit well together, too well.
Maybe that scares you. Maybe it scares me. Maybe you don’t even think about it anymore. But I do.
Because with you, what I thought I wanted to be for someone is now different. I don’t want to take care of you, to better you, I simply want to take care of your heart. To protect it, piece it back together, remind it that there are joy and love and goodness in the world, in people, in my kind.
I want to curl up next to you and watch movies, or anything, or nothing at all. I want to tell you literally everything and nothing at all.
I want to stay up late with you speaking my heart and all the thoughts that scare me, or even just lay next to each other in the silence being comforted by your presence. I want you to be the last and first thing my eyes see.
I want to learn with you, grow, discover, adventure, do life, be. I want to love you in ways that you didn’t even know possible. I want you to know…
But I’m scared.
I’m afraid that these are only momentary feelings instead of forever. I’m scared if you know then you will walk away, for good this time.
And this much I know, I need you in my life one way or another. No matter the pain or how long it takes to figure this out. I need you to be here, somehow.
What if I really am making these feelings be more than they are. What if our paths are supposed to stop crossing.
But… What if they’re not.
I have to make a decision, I have to decide to either hold on or let go and I have to stick to it this time.
Maybe I’ll find out if that old wise tale is true, “if you love something let it go, if it comes back it is yours, and if not it never was”.
Being a girl with a sappy heart can be hard sometimes. For her, not for you.
She’s the kind of girl that sees cute things in TV shows and movies and secretly wishes you would do them for her.
Here are a few things she would love for you to do, and might even do for you.
1.Buy her a necklace with your initial on it like Troy did for Gabriella in High School Musical, “T as in Troy”. It is way cuter than buying her a cliché heart necklace, although we would also love that.
2. Sing a song to her like Heath Ledger does in 10 Things I Hate About You. Or while driving in the car.
3. Heck, write a song for her like Edward did for Bella in Twlight.
4. She wants you to be creative with your gifts; get her something that takes effort, is special, and memorable. Like the time Serena gave Dan a snowy Christmas in Gossip Girl. She certainly will.
5. She will “get off the plane” for you like Rachel did for Ross in FRIENDS because picking you will always be the best decision.
6. Write her letters like John did for Savannah in Dear John and Noah did for Allie in The Notebook, maybe not 365, but every now and then will certainly make her smile. She probably has a ton written for you.
7. Push her to chase her dreams, to do what she loves, to be the best version she can be like Ike does for Maggie in Run Away Bride. She will always be your biggest cheerleader.
8. Remind her why she loves you and fight for her when things get hard like Leo did for Paige in The Vow.
9. Always “as you wish”. Any time Buttercup asked Westley to do something in The Princess Bride he would respond with "as you wish". He's own way of saying "I love you."
10. Dance with her. Whether it be randomly in public like Troy did with Gabriella in High School Musical 3, or at the ball like Dan does with Serena in Gossip Girl.
11. Fight for her, make her believe you love her the way Chuck did for Blaire in Gossip Girl.
12. Pick her, always. She will be there for you day and night. Through the good, bad, beautiful, ugly, and everything in between. Chose her, pick her, love her. Like Derek did for Meredith in Grey's Anatomy.
You care, a lot. That’s okay, but sometimes you have to accept that you can’t save everyone. Some people don’t need to be fixed because they aren’t broken. And others, need to save themselves.
It’s okay for you to take a step back, to let your heart breath, to give you and them some space. It doesn’t mean that you have to let go, stop caring, move on forever but simply that right now you need to work on saving yourself.
Because maybe, just maybe this need for people, to constantly have someone in your corner goes deeper than what meets the eye.
Maybe the reason you feel the need to keep everyone so close is because you’re afraid to be alone. To ultimately be by yourself, no communication, no worries. Just you, your heart, and your thoughts.
Because maybe your heart needs fixing. Maybe the reason you care so much is because your heart is hoping that one day the investment you pour out will one day be poured back in.
And I’m positive that one day it will, but until that day, until that person or people come around stop running yourself thin, driving your heart crazy trying to keep everyone else close to fix your own heart.
Invest in yourself, invest in what makes your heart happy, what fuels your day. If that is a certain person or people than wonderful! Keep at it.
But if what or who you’re investing in is exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally; I encourage you to take a step back. See the situation for what it is and what it is doing to you deep inside.
There is no harm, no wrong in loving people; in believing the best in them, only if it doesn’t cost you your self.
Love what you love, find what makes your heart happy, discover the real smile inside you instead of the fake one you’ve been wearing for so long.
Love yourself fully, completely, and then some so that you can invest positive love into the things that make your heart jump.
Because you can’t fix everyone and let your own heartbreak.
