Author: Madi Schloder

My whole life, people put me in situations where I couldn't be myself. They put me places where they wanted me, low and broken. 

So it was recently where I let the negative things go, people and bad habits. I decided to go outside my own zone to discover new things. I found myself switching schools for my senior year and looking out of state for colleges, somewhere where I belonged.

I knew after all this, I deserved the new beginning I have been looking for, for the longest time. 

After the big heartbreaks, the way people talked about me and to me, the way people belittled me… It had me realize this was never where I belonged.

I gave myself what I needed and I didn't evolve anyone who didn't deserve to be in my life. I did all of this FOR ME, and I don't care to hear what other people have to say.

Growing up, being brought down on the daily basis was a huge eye opener. You learn how to treat people despite how they treat you. You learn to let things go even when you shouldn't. You forgive people because you can't go day by day having such a heavy feeling on your shoulders. You learn how to better yourself, think positive despite the negatives surrounding you and keep going no matter how much it takes you.

I am beautiful no matter what people have said. I am smart because how they have played me and now I know better. I'm stronger because time after time the tore me down, I built myself back up. 

I did what I had to do for ME. 

I know people still look down on me and still have nothing good to say about me but they need to understand this. I didn't change things around and "run away" from my problems. I didn't even do it because they are "better" than me. 

They never realized, truly the person I am. They won't ever know me because they never got the chance to. They made me who they wanted. 

The truth is because what they have done to me, makes me the better person. I did this for me and nobody else, because it is me who deserves to be first. 

“After he broke my heart, I began writing about him. I wrote and I wrote and I have described him as a hurricane, a drug, my universe. Now that I’ve moved on, I don’t see him in that way anymore. He wasn’t anything but ordinary, he was just a boy. A boy who didn’t want to be with me and that’s it.”

I know I never had an ending when I had something to say, but it’s because I couldn’t ever tell you enough to make you see what I meant. 

With months that keep passing, I realized that time keeps going forwarding and things will never turn back to makes things different between us.

I seen you found someone new, which I would hope you made the right chose (well really everyone hopes she made the right one).

 I have always wanted happiness for you, even when you broke my heart.

I know I will truly only be the best for you, because in the end we know that nobody can replace me.

I was way to good to you. I’m not saying I was perfect, but I was damn close to it for you. 

I loved you when I shouldn’t, forgave you when you didn’t deserve forgiveness, trusted you when you only broke it (way to many times), let you have my heart to only crush it, and let’s me honest, I made you out to be a great person that you never were and never will be. 

I left because I deserved to better myself constantly instead of you belittling me every chance you got. 

I found out so much about myself, and I’m more than content and overjoyed then I ever was with you.

I know you will keep moving on with your life and more relationships will come, and I’m not stopping you but I do have more to say.

Treat her right, don’t make her feel belittled or never good enough. Don’t cheat, be respectful and loyal. 

Kiss her daily, and always let her know she’s beautiful. Be her bestfriend and her lover. Most importantly, love her the way she deserves, because if you don’t someone else will. 

As for you, thank you. You brought me down and it hurt but I found that it only made me stronger. 

I discovered a whole new world without you, and it’s nothing but fantastic. I can actually breathe . 

I want you happy, more than anything. Even you, the one who broke my heart, deserves nothing but happiness and love. 

Finally, I hope your throat burns and your stomach turns thinking about me. I hope you realize that I love your more than the entire world and you destroyed me.

When someone asks one day what you did to me, I hope you no longer have to lie. I hope when the memories of me hit, you ache and it gets harder to breathe.

I hope you listened to me, all this time. I’ll always have a few last things to say. 

I never thought we would ever end. I truthfully never thought I would have to move on or ever be here without you.

But here I am, finally months later I am letting go. I'm finally done hurting.

I let go long ago, but not in such a way I wanted you to go. I believed we would still work things out one day, and that maybe things would finally be ok. I'm not done hurting, fully, because you did put me in such a low place. I found that you hurting me only made me stronger and that's something that's worthy. 

I was always wrong about you, and that's why I'm letting go. You hurt me in a way I could never forget, but made my eyes open. You were never good to me and we all know the truth in that. Everyone did. You only talked the talk to make me seem like such a horrible person when you were the real monster behind your fake words. 

I put you on such a high pedestal that you never deserved. I believed you were the best thing that ever happened to me and that you were my one and only true love. 

I believed you weren't what everyone said you were. I believed you wouldn't break my heart. 

But the way you hurt me every single day wasn't true love. My pillows used to be soaked and stained, but lately the only time I shed a tear is when I'm laughing so hard. 

I no longer have the huge fear every day of wondering what time you were breaking up with me and then getting back together a few hours later. 

I'm done finding out about all the girls you were with behind my back. I'm done believing you love me and care about me, because it was always such an act. I am finally done letting you hurt me. 

I'm done letting you cheat and calling me names. I'm done letting you make me feel like I'm so worthless and damaged. Because I'm not. 

I'm not giving up, or failing anyone, I'm just starting over. I found someone who truly appreciates me. I found people who know who I am. I have gone out of my comfort zones and found things I love to do. I'm just a little bent because of you but I will never be broken because you don't deserve to have that much power over me. 

This is my acceptance letter, letting you know that I'm not angry, or sad, not even a little bit questioning myself on this. I can't wait for the day you realize how much you truly f*cked up. 

I'm accepting we are done forever and nothing has ever made me feel so happy and so powerful. It's a blessing; life without you.