“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” ? Johnny Depp
It’s not that simple
I am a complete relationship person. I always used to meet just one guy I like and immediately started investing in only that relationship. So when talking about love, I completely agree that you would not fall for a second person, if you truly love your partner. But with dating apps such as Tinder and a generally more accepting society, we can find ourselves seeing or dating multiple people at the same time. After getting my heart shattered by my ex, I wanted to give this “modern dating” a try. I downloaded Tinder, matched a lot of people I actually already knew from school or friends and started talking more to some of them.
I wasn’t thinking
I started casually seeing this one guy and soon after I was asked out by a second one. I said yes without really thinking about it, because he was hot and I was single after all. But after having gone out with both of them, I found myself in a tricky situation. I liked them both for different reasons. This had never happened to me before! I didn’t know what I wanted, because they are both truly amazing in every aspect and I didn’t want to rush my decision and possibly make the wrong one.
I put myself first
After giving it some more thought, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. This is what “casual dating” is all about. So I kept seeing both of them in order to give myself the time I needed. Until one day, a (third) guy from my past started talking to me. I would call him a “high school crush”. Unfortunately, we had lost touch after graduating. But he suddenly seemed genuinely interested in me and we started talking day and night. I could barely bring myself to put down my phone.
You will know
In the moment when this third guy asked me out, I knew. I knew that while I liked the two other guys, I couldn’t see it going anywhere with either of them. I always thought that something was missing with them, but I couldn’t point it out until that moment. I was missing excitement. From the beginning, it was comfortable and fun to be around them, but it never felt exciting. With this third guy, that giddy feeling was there from the first moment.
It’s not for everyone
I am glad I made the experience and I ended it with the first two guys (I am still friends with both of them) before going on a date with my high school crush. I realized that Tinder and casual dating is not for me. I don’t want to settle or be stuck in a confusing situation where I am seeing multiple people without knowing where things are going. So I’m back to “my old ways” and focusing all my time on just the one guy 🙂
