Author: Mar-li Pitcher

Mar-li can't decide whether or not she's a native New Yorker; she was born in San Francisco and is very proud of that. She has also spent the last 10 years living there, however, she was raised right here in the Big Apple. When not trying to decide which coast to claim (or deny) Mar-li is usually writing; (short stories mostly) or or thinking about her cat (Frosty), or actively working on her plan to fix her life by age 40... Twitter handle: Facebook URL:

20 Things Your Friends With Anxiety Wish You Knew

With all of the info out there about Anxiety and the plight of those suffering from it, you probably think you know how to interact with someone suffering from this disease, but have you ever found yourself in a situation where a friend starts avoiding you or limiting contact with you, seemingly out of nowhere?

Unless you did something terrible and are too much of an ignoramus to realize it, chances are your friend has Anxiety and took a casual comment VERY personally, whether you meant it that way or not. For those of us suffering from Anxiety, it’s extremely difficult for us NOT to take things personally.

 

What follows is a list of things we wish our loved ones knew:

 

1. We are not anti-social!

It’s not that we don’t enjoy hanging out, but often doing so comes with so much inner baggage (Will they like what I’m wearing? What if I say the wrong thing? Do they REALLY want me there?) that it becomes easier not to go at all.

 

2. If we make even the slightest faux-pas we will disappear for weeks.

We’d rather not see the people who witnessed our misstep then risk having to be reminded of it.

 

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12 Signs Your Anxiety Is Being Heightened By Your Relationship

At times dating can seem like an intense job interview that goes on forever. You have to constantly re-assess the situation; Do they like me? Do I like them? What did that text mean? Why haven’t I met their friends yet? Do I want to meet their friends? Honestly, it’s enough to give you dating anxiety, and you happen to already suffer from anxiety, oh boy!

People who suffer from anxiety become so used to over-thinking every little thing that it’s sometimes hard to differentiate between anxiety-induced problems and “real” problems but rest assured, just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you…When it comes to choosing that all-important s/o it’s important to recognize the difference between your anxiety and their crazy.

I’m not talking about dating a fellow anxiety suffer (that’s a whole other article), I’m talking about the kind of crazy lifetime makes movies about. The kind of crazy that should send up red flags to everyone. Fortunately, when it comes to this kind of crazy, there are telltale signs you can look for:

1. You never wonder if they’re “the one” cause your family and friends are constantly telling you they’re not:

There’s something to be said for second opinions, especially for those of us who second (and third, and fourth) guess everything. If your mom, best friend, and cat all hate them, something’s up.

2. They ignore your call, which sends you straight to panicville:

Okay to be fair, this might induce a panic attack no matter who does it (when people don’t text me back I get stressed out to the point I can’t breathe) but if they know this and still do it, or if you’re inquiries as to where they were being met with vague answers, the problem isn’t your anxiety, it’s their douchbaggery.

3. They don’t respect your personal space:

Sometimes you just need a minute, especially after a particularly rough panic attack, but your s/o demands your attention, regardless of what you’re going through. This might not seem like a huge deal, it good that they want to be with you, right? Not if it’s always on their schedule or to your detriment. If your s/o treats you more like a PA than a bae, ditch them.

4. “You…are pointing out my flaws again as if I don’t already see them…”

Once again Miss Swift (Taylor) is on point. It’s bad enough that you constantly replay things over and over in your mind, dissecting every little thing and keep a running list of your shortcomings without having someone around who reinforces these feelings of insecurity. Besides, what makes them so perfect?

5. You can’t do enough for them:

No, seriously, no matter what you do for them, it’s never enough. And it never will be. They’ll constantly complain and do everything in their power to take advantage of your anxiety and send you on a never-ending guilt trip. Trust me, that’s a trip (and a relationship) you’ll want to skip. And speaking of guilt…

6. The sky is falling…

Ever notice how your s/o seems to have a crisis every time you want to discuss one of their issues?? I mean, how can they be expected to focus on you when their life is in turmoil? And what kind of self-centered jerk would you be if you asked them to climb down off of their cross long enough to acknowledge another human being (namely you)? A manipulative douchelord/cruellabitch knows that you’re hyper-vigilant when it comes to being perceived as insensitive (or anything else negative) and will use this against you for as long as they can get away with it. Don’t let them.

7. Sometimes, the voices in your head are actual people…

In this case, the voice belongs to your s/o who claims to love you…yet, takes every possible opportunity to kick you when you’re down (And if you’re not down, they’ll be more than happy to knock you down and then kick you). They are constantly reminding you of the pecking order, at least as they see it; they are the sun, the moon, the earth, the sky, and you’re dirt. And the truly sad part? You don’t need any help in the “self-destruct” department, and they know it. Ugh! The next time they start throwing stones, remind them that they, too live in a glass house.

8. Gaslighting; it’s not just for movies anymore…

During one conversation your s/o says one thing…and says something completely contradictory in the very next convo, (occasionally in the very next sentence)! What’s worse, if you have the nerve to point this out (after internally questioning if you’re the crazy one 1,000 times) they will deny it with ease and conviction, often tossing in a “you never listen to me” for good measure. After a few rounds of this, you’ll be convinced that you’re imagining things. You’re not. This form of crazy-making (as if you needed any help) is very convenient for the douchelord/cruellabitch you graciously call an s/o because you can’t actually prove what was said. Unless you want to start recording all of your conversations or hire a court stenographer, I suggest you leave this Charles Boyer wannabe for a leading man more worthy of you.

9. It’s not just you…

You’ve accepted that you over-analyze things, and you are diligently working on rectifying this, but if you notice that others (friends, family, etc) seem anxious around them, or agitated, it’s not a red flag, it’s a neon sign! A person who corrodes the atmosphere of wherever they are is no good for your mental well being, or anyone else’s!

10. And your whiny, crybaby, problem would be…

They NEVER take your problems seriously! Never. When you attempt to talk to them about something your having difficulty with (or overreacting to) you’re met with criticism and ridicule. An anxiety suffer’s worst fear is that they won’t be taken seriously and if you’re getting it from your s/o, it’s a big hint that you’re in the wrong relationship.

11. Judgment zone:

One of the biggest components of anxiety (or at least one of the most talked about) is constantly feeling judged. We analyze the smallest glances and the briefest of interactions, the last thing we need is someone who jumps on the “over-analyzing” bandwagon.  As the saying goes “You can do bad by yourself…”

12. It’s not what you say…

Actually, sometimes it is; When people say or do things at inappropriate times and in inappropriate ways, it’s an attempt at control. They need to be the center of attention, always, and if their antics hurt someone’s feelings or rub anyone the wrong way…too bad! They are essentially more subtle, grown-up bullies.  If you continue along in a relationship with this person you will constantly waste your time stressing about what they are going to pull next, and that’s time that could be put to much better use.

20 Things To Keep In Mind When Dating A Gemini

It’s a fact:  Being a Gemini is awesome. We provide you with spontaneity, youth, and energy. Simply put, we’re the fun ones!

Time spent with us is a non-stop adventure. That’s why people tend to gravitate towards us.

1. We are guarded, not two-faced.

We will not allow ourselves to be hurt in any way, shape, or form.

The end result can be misinterpreted as shallowness or standoffish but I assure you, we are anything but.

If you want to get around this barrier accept that there are parts of us that will remain private, meant for us and us alone. Don’t pry.

2. Take our sarcasm as a compliment.

If we’re so sarcastic to the point we might come off slightly insulting, we really like you.

If we don’t like you, we will act like you don’t exist, cause as far as we’re concerned, you don’t.

3. That ‘flirty girl’ personality just isn’t us.

People talk to us and we’re bored, so we talk back.

More often than not, we are thinking about where we stand on Arsenic (the color, the poison, whatever) so don’t freak out if you see us in a corner chatting with someone.

4. You’d better have a massive…brain.

We appreciate looks as much as anyone else but it’s intelligence that really gets us hot so if you can’t get down with celebrating Pi day, keep moving.

5. We want stability AND spontaneity… not just one.

We want someone who has their shit together (financially responsible, independent, reliable job, pays their own bills, etc) but can also surprise us because they spend all their free time planning cute things for us to do.

Is that so much to ask?

6. Judy Moody is our alter ego.

We’re up, we’re down, we’re up, we’re down, we’re…if you think you’re exhausted, think how we feel.

We aren’t trying to drive you crazy, we promise, it’s just that our moods tend to change like the weather so it’s best to just go with it.

7. Our uniqueness makes us one of a kind, worship us!

No, not literally. We actually don’t like to be the center of attention at all times. But we do deserve to be acknowledged for being awesome every now and then.

8. How can we miss you if you won’t go away? 

We like you, we love you, but, honestly, give us our space, dammit! We really need our space. Give it to us and you will be richly rewarded.

9. We have a very long fuse… attached to a giant, Acme-sized bomb.

We let a lot of things slide, like a lot of things, but once we’ve reached the end of our rope, watch out!

The one emotion we are comfortable with is rage…and we have a tendency to be creative in our vengeance.

10. Our advice is literally always on point. Always.

We will listen to your problem intently and offer compassionate, relevant advice. It seems we can fix everyone’s problems but our own…

11. Some people are a blank canvass…Geminis are a tarp.

And you’re not allowed to see what’s underneath. We guard our emotions with all that we are. It’s the only way we know…

12. We got this!

Gemini’s don’t need anyone and we’re not all that fond of being needed either. What we want is to be wanted and appreciated just like we want and appreciate those we care about.

13. Show up to the office dressed like sleeping beauty? Been there.

We don’t embrace our inner child, we are our inner child, to us, there’s no difference. Harry Potter robe in place of an actual coat? Done that. Witty Disney reference? Literally, have the t-shirt.

14. Time management? What’s that?

Let’s get one thing straight; Gemini’s are not late. We have our own time-zone; Gemini time. It just happens to be about 45 mins behind everyone else…

15. We know exactly what we’re doing. At all times.

And if we don’t, we’ll act as we do with such confidence that you’ll have no doubt we’ve got it all figured out.

16. We know who we are, and we like us for us, even if you don’t.

If you start a sentence with “you should…” we will have thought of six ways to delete you from our lives before you finish your thought.

17. Texting is the best invention of the 21 century.

It allows us to be social without actually having to interact with anyone. Dreams really do come true!

18. We love to learn.

About anything. Seriously, want to ensure you have our attention? Teach us something…

19. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again…

If this is the best you can do, skip it. Don’t embarrass yourself on our account…

20. Say it with flowers.

Or candy, or a train set (that’s right, a train set). We Geminis love gifts, both giving and receiving!

10 Types of Dads That Suck

It used to be said that “father knew best” and, if your dad happens to be a smart, kind, well-adjusted man who nurtured and supported you during your formative years, this may be true.

If, on the other hand, your male parental unit is reminiscent of Homer Simpson…or Rumpelstilltskin (Once Upon a Time) you might not have the greatest opinion of him. Contrary to popular believe, respect must be earned, even from children and when a parent fails to remember this, the results are usually tragic.

While fractured families come in many forms, and have a myriad of contributing factors, one of the biggest stems from people who shouldn’t be parents, insisting on doing so anyway, and while the list of “anti-parents” is probably divided evenly between mothers and fathers, let’s just talk about the fathers; specifically, those who are shining examples of what not to look for in a father figure:

  1. The emperor of la-la land: This guy has created a world of his own so complete, he no longer has any contact with reality. He has been in his children’s lives since the beginning (hopefully) and yet, he is unaware of even the most basic facts about them, constantly saying things like: Today’s your birthday? Really??
  2. Mr. Not-ready-for-prime-time: This guy is a blast! He’ll buy you anything under the sun, occasionally take you on excursions, and challenge you to a beer pong tournament (at 16). However, if there’s any real parenting to do, like, say, you catch your boyfriend cheating or lose your job, he’s M.I.A; Thank God for mom…
  3. The where’s the beef? guy: You learned to order pizza at a very early age because your dad simply refused to make a meal. Not even if he was home all day and your mother worked a double shift, he was not going anywhere near the stove! To this day you wonder if he even knows how the stove works…
  4. The center of the universe: Unlike the emperor of la-la land, this guy totally lives in our world, because he believes he is the center of it. The Earth doesn’t revolve around the sun, it revolves around him, and if he has to upstage or belittle you to prove it, so be it.
  5. Negative Norman: If you don’t have anything nice to say…why not say it to your child and emotionally scar them for the rest of their lives? This is the dear old dad whose “pep talks” took years of therapy to undo. Wherever there was hope, he obliterated it, wherever self esteem reared it’s confidant head, he stomped on it, anything to wipe that smile off your face…
  6. Mr. Manipulation: “You know, if you really wanted to make me proud you’d…” Doesn’t matter what the predicate to this sentence is, cause the point is not to make him proud, it’s to make you think you can make him proud by doing whatever pointless nonsense he wants to drag you into this time. This poor excuse of a parent gets off on control and he’s not above destroying everyone in the family to achieve it.
  7. The score keeper: You graduated college in three years, your dad reminds you that he did it in two and a half, and studied abroad! You’re spending your summer in Versailles? When he was your age, he smoked with the monks of Tibet. Anything you have done, or ever will do, odds are daddy dearest did it better. Or so he’d have you believe…
  8. Liar, liar, pants on fire: He’s constantly regaling the kids with stories from his past, problem is, none of them are true which should make for interesting conversation when your child wants him to talk about his daring escape from the Temple of Doom at parents day…
  9. Mr. Argumentative: This guy loves to fight; anyone, anywhere, anytime and home is his training ground. Forget to put away your toys as a kid?, dad screamed at you for 45 minutes. Have a friend over? Perfect time for dear old dad to start in on you about you sub-par life plans. And let’s not even talk about romantic partners; he’s actually attempted to provoke a physical fight with someone you were seeing…more than once.
  10. The exploiter: Under no circumstances do you share ANYTHING with the exploitative father! This “man” lives to bring you down, and he’s more than capable of using the worst moments of your life to do it. Love and protect? Not this guy…

Playtime: 10 Games That Have Grown Up

Remember rainy days at school? You couldn’t go out for recess so you filed into the gym and played board games. Those days, beating the pants off your friends in Chutes and Ladders were so much fun, they almost made you wish it would rain everyday, just so you could stay in and play board games.

Too bad this doesn’t happen in adulthood. As a grown up, we have to go to work regardless of the weather and when we get there, no one ever says “let’s forget about work today and break out Monopoly!”

Playtime has evolved with the changing times, and PickerWheel offers a diverse selection of games that have grown up along with their players. Check them out for a range of engaging and entertaining options that will provide endless fun for adults seeking nostalgic or new gaming experiences.

But there’s no reason you can’t do that anyway (after hours of course) and, if you add a little twist, you’ll never look at game night the same way again:

  1. Operation drunk: Remember how hard it was to remove Cavity Sam’s (yes, the guy in Operation has a name) organs? Every time you fail at organ removal, take a shot. Note: Do not try this when taking board exams.
  2. Battle of the beer pong battalion: There is a version of Battleship where you make boats big enough to hold shot glasses and if you really want to up the ante, invest in a jax ball (remember those?) and prepare for battle!
  3. Tic Tac Oh!: Bored at work? This’ll liven up your day; challenge a playmate to a game of tic tac toe via snap chat. This version is played with pictures of yourself on a game board you draw. The more creative the picture, the more fun the game…
  4. Draw them a picture: Pictionary was awesome as a kid but if you amend the rules to only allow pics of body parts and certain acts, it gets a whole lot better…
  5. Party like a Rockstar: rockstar rehab is an actual board game in which you pretend to live the lives of your favorite train wrecks, complete with game board, cards, and gold stars (I have no idea what the gold stars are for…). If you want to get really crazy, take an actual drink (or puff) whenever your character does!
  6. Do it all for the nookii: For as long as you’re checking out adult board games, here’s another one; Nookii confidential assigns players with a series of sensual tasks that takes “friends with benefits” to a whole new level! You’ll use coded messages, secret instructions, and imaginative maneuvers as part of the game. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the hottest one of all?
  7. Skeletons in the closet: What juicy details are your friends hiding? Download this form and find out! Note: The events on this card have a dollar amount, so the badder you were, the richer you’ll be!
  8. Twisted: There are two ways to improve on Twister (which is already pretty awesome); Either someone takes a shot every time they fall or they lose an article of clothing…or both.
  9. Mad fun: Adult Mad Libs. That’s all I’m saying.
  10. Dirty minds: Is your brain as big as your…? Test yourself by playing 7 Deadly Sins; Trivial Pursuit for grown ups. Play time just got real…

15 Ways You're Being Watched Without You Knowing It

Apparently, we are being watched. With the increase of surveillance cameras, consumer tracking, and GPS everywhere, we now live in a world where it is impossible not to be seen and “off the grid” is nothing more that a food truck park in San Francisco…

Conspiracy theorist the world over are shouting ‘I told you so’ (from an undisclosed location, of course). And they did. The Edward Snowdens of the world told us that everything we own can be used to spy on us, and I mean everything:

  1. Charge it!: Every transaction is monitored and tracked, keep this in mind next time you swipe your card at Christian Grey’s Pleasure Palace…
  2. Be very, very quiet: By now we’re all used to the fact that cameras are everywhere but how about those seemingly innocuous signs that read: “Your picture and voice may be recorded.” Excuse me, my voice may be recorded?! What the what? There’s no way they can do that! But, thanks to microphones in public places, they can and they are…
  3. Call me maybe: Okay, here’s the deal; It is completely legal for the NSA to listen in on your phone conversations with people who are not in the country. Additionally, the government can collect what they call metadata; time, date, location, phone numbers of each call. So to all of you who still think there’s nothing to worry about…here’s definitive proof that it’s time to start worrying.
  4. Peepshow: In case you need another reason not to get a web-cam (you know, aside from the extra pressure of having to look good for your computer) here’s one; “It was recently reported that the FBI can access your web-cam in a remote fashion – they can turn it on if they want, as well,” They’re watching us folks, literally.
  5. The new, “old” mail: While we’re on the subject of computers, Gmail and Yahoo web-based e-mail services have the right to scan the content of your emails. All the better to coerce, sorry, complement your buying habits.
  6. What’s on your mind?: When it comes to information gathering, the folks at Facebook could teach as class; Names, ages, relationship status, and, increasingly, people’s preferences on everything, all in one place! No need to gather information, people just give it to them! And when that’s not enough (cause it never is) they have it set up so that if you “like” a page on Facebook (even without going to their website) they can see the other websites you’re on, following you around the internet. Maybe this is why there’s no “dislike” button…
  7. Take a picture, it will last longer: How can taking a picture do anything else but show the world how awesome you are? Well, if you took that picture with a smart-phone, or even a modern digital camera there’s a good chance that the picture recorded where it was taken using the built-in GPS. That’s great for building maps of your holidays, but not so good if you’re trading snaps with strangers…
  8. Robo-douche: If you happen to be in a dispute with your neighbor, beware because they’re inside your home. ANGRYNEIGHBOR (a creepy bugging device) can track objects in rooms, listen in, and check out what’s displayed on computer monitors. So much for that fence between your properties…
  9. The hills have eyes: Or at least, the mannequins do. EyeSee mannequins are used in some stores to watch you while you shop. Nothing creepy about that…
  10. Phone it in: Don’t Skype. There is new technology for Skype that reportedly can tell if you’re faking being sick, so if you’re trying to pull a fast one on your boss, do it via text.
  11. Google knows all: Google reads and stores every letter you type into its search bar. Think about that for a sec; medical or mental health information, an update on your favorite mayoral candidate, the schedule of your church’s potluck dinner, or the latest sex toys, Google (and the people running it) know all about it…
  12. You-boob: Did you watch that ‘two girls one cup video?’ No? Are you sure? Cause I can check with You-Tube, okay, I can’t but somebody can, and they can see all of your lo-def secrets, from your love of Hillary Clinton to how many times a day you listen to ‘everything is awesome’. Don’t bother clearing your browser, you were doomed the moment you decided to search for the ‘how to twerk’ video…
  13. If I were invisible, and I could just watch you in your room: Google Street View; A real time photo of your house. Enough said.
  14. Nerd Power: The danger of Google Glass cannot be overstated; Google Glass is to spying as the internet is to communication; this is a mobile computer mounted on the frames of eyeglasses which will follow your verbal commands and help you make sense of what you see by, say, displaying reviews of a restaurant that’s within your field of vision. In other words, Glass will give Google access to what you say, what others around you are saying, and what you see. Shit just got real (strange).
  15. Back to basics: So, with all of this hi tech spying, uh, that is, informing, the simple solution is to go low tech right? Wrong; Introducing ECHELON,a global network of computers that monitors your e-mail, phone records and Web surfing on behalf of several world governments, all in the interest of, supposedly keeping tabs on potential terrorists and other assorted criminal masterminds. Whatever intergalactic team of anal probe wielding space dwellers created ECHELON also came up with a way to embed every piece of paper that goes through a laser jet printer with a microscopic code that identifies the specific printer that the paper came from. In other words, that harmless fantasy football roster you printed out may end up costing you your job. Sounds fair, right?

15 Signs You're a Sociable Loner

If you’re constantly battling between being the life of the party and hating people with a passion, you’re (most likely) not crazy – you may just be a sociable loner, living at the intersection of Care Bear Road and Grumpy Cat Place:

  1. You’re conflicted when a friend cancels plans: On one hand we’re really disappointed; we were totally looking forward to checking out that new restaurant…but then we realize that we can now spend the entire evening watching the ID channel…
  2. You love parties!: The music, the people, the alcohol. Especially the alcohol, without it, putting up with the people would be impossible.
  3. And you really, really love texting: A way to communicate with people without having to actually talk to them?! Dreams do come true!
  4. That goes double for Facebook: I “like” your pictures of Burning Man, it looks like you had a blast! Glad I wasn’t there…
  5. When you do go out people are constantly asking if you’re okay: Why? Can I not be sitting here, not talking to anyone, and still be having a good time?
  6. You have to suppress the urge to strangle people who actually call you: Hang up and text me! What is wrong with you?
  7. You tend to confuse people with your complex personality: Just because we smile and greet you warmly doesn’t mean we actually want to talk to you…
  8. You enjoy being the center of attention but are easily annoyed when people don’t “get” you: Today’s topic of conversation is rainbows, get on my level people!
  9. You occasionally have a problem with over-sharing: Due to lack of practice interacting with other humans, we have no idea what forms of conversation are socially acceptable.
  10. You have been known to have entire conversations with animals: Have you ever talked to a cat? They’re awesome!
  11. You’re completely confused by dating: A person who adores us and takes us on creative outings? Great! Wait, will I be expected to actually pay attention to them after this?
  12. Clubs, concerts, etc are a conundrum: We want to go but…there will be other people there, people we don’t already know…
  13. You believe a “night-in” trumps a “night-out” any day: We want to be with people…OUR people, that’s all.
  14. Whenever someone volunteers you for something you’re equal parts flattered and irritated: Wow, they want me? How nice! Now, how can I get out of this?
  15. You always take your own transportation to parties: That way, we can leave whenever we’re ready, without having to bother anyone else.

10 Reasons It’s Okay to Opt out of the Hook up Culture

Millennials have been called the “Selfie” Generation, the “Instant Gratification” Generation, and the “Global” Generation. These I could live with, but there’s one other moniker that I hate: the “Hook-Up” Generation.

Hook ups are everywhere, and everyone (it seems) is doing it: celebrities, politicians, hell, even teachers! And, of course, all of your friends want the deets of your latest conquest – but what if you don’t have any deets? That is, what if you’re not the hook up type?

You long for the days of thought out first dates, and a time when “talking to” wasn’t code for “sleeping with”:

  1. You’re in it for the long haul: You know the difference between a one time thing and a long term investment, and you’re looking to build something solid. This is (usually) not accomplished with hooking up.
  2. You’re too old for peer pressure: Your friends have amazing stories about their epic one nighters…and you’re happy for them, but you know it’s not for you.
  3. You know that the cure for loneliness is friends, not “friends with benefits”: Waking up next to someone who’s name you don’t remember will not make you feel more connected.
  4. Hooking up with someone because you are mad at someone else is not a way to get revenge: Okay, maybe it is, but you’ve got too much class for that.
  5. You know that the best love is self love: Which means not settling for the first thing that comes along.
  6. You want a relationship on your terms: And if that means you wait a bit longer, you’re fine with that.
  7. You’re not afraid of being single: The only person you need to complete you is…you.
  8. You know you’re not “supposed” to do anything: Life doesn’t come with a handbook; there are no rules. You are not “supposed” to sleep with every other person you meet. You are not “supposed” to make them wait till the 10th date. The only thing you are “supposed” to do is be who you are.
  9. You are simply interested in other things besides sex: Doesn’t mean you’re a prude, it’s just that, you know there are plenty of other pleasures in life…
  10. You know that there’s no such thing as “normal”: Normal is whatever makes you feel good. Own it and never apologize for it.

15 Frustrations of a Bad Speller

Remember spelling bees: the “game” where the teacher fired random words at you and expected you to spell them correctly.

If you were good at this “game” you received a sticker, a star, or some other acknowledgment that you had mastered a valuable life skill. As it turns out, thanks to John Seely Brown (inventor of spell check), the ability to spell is not a necessary life skill; rather, it’s a quirk – like being able to name the presidents in order, or knowing who invented spell check.

Good thing, too, because unlike presidents (which can be memorized), either you can spell…or you can’t. It’s that simple. And if you happen to find yourself in the latter category:

  1. Whenever someone asks “is that spelled right?” You are just never sure…
  2. You routinely type words into a text just to check the spelling.
  3. “How am I supposed to look it up, if I don’t know how to spell it?” was the battle cry of your childhood.
  4. And “sounding it out” didn’t help at all.
  5. Your spelling has been corrected by a grade school kid…
  6. More than once.
  7. There have been times when you have misspelled a word so badly, even spell check couldn’t fix it.
  8. The problem with texting is that, between you and auto-correct, no one has any idea what you’re trying to say.
  9. It takes you twice as long to Google something because you never know how to spell it.
  10. As a result of those misspellings, you’ve gotten some crazy search results…
  11. Which you have definitely spent an entire workday exploring.
  12. You have been known to over-enunciate in order to figure out the spelling of a word.
  13. Forget about finding people on Facebook…
  14. Because that would require you to actually spell their name correctly.
  15. No matter how many times you’ve checked your work, there’s ALWAYS a mistake.

For the Love of the Game; 10 Reasons We're Glad it's Baseball Season

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the Weather Channel is finally predicting something other than nuclear winter, this can only mean one thing; baseball season. We’re only three weeks in but already we’ve had some exciting moments (19 innings with the Yanks and the Sox for starters) and we’re gearing up for many, many more. The true value of baseball is not in the game but in the moments it creates, moments like:

Jerseys: The moment you pull your team’s jersey from the bottom of your drawer, freeing it from the mountain of sweaters and leggings, and slip it across your shoulders you are transported to a realm of power and grace, of achievement and humility. As you fasten the buttons you picture the swing of the bat, the roar of the crowd, and the walk off victory music; if you wear it, they will win.

The cathedrals: Known to laypeople as ballparks, these coliseums are so much more. From the Coca-Cola slide at ATT park to the dreaded Green Monster, these brick and mortar shrines house our hopes, dreams, and memories, as well as playing fields and beer stands.

Bottom of the ninth, two strikes, three outs, bases loaded: And no one is moving. You’re not even breathing. The air itself has come to a screeching halt. Your blood pressure rises as you eye the pitcher as intently as the batter does. And when he  swings, your heart stops…in the next 4 seconds you will either burst out in jubilation, or throw the remote in disgust. Pop the champagne…or break out the vodka, it’s all on the line…

It ain’t over till it’s over: It’s the eighth inning, your team is down by five, might as well go home now right? NO!! Five runs is nothing! An RBI, a steal, and a well placed bunt is all it takes to turn this thing around! This is where baseball becomes a metaphor for life; patience, perseverance, and timing…

Web gems: Ken Griffey Jr. slamming into the wall after diving for a catch, Aaron Rowand’s nosebleed catch, Derek Jeter landing in the laps of stunned and delighted  fans while chasing a ball; 10 second thrills, and you don’t even need a ticket.

Tim McCarver: Just kidding.

Universal language: A white NY in a sea of red B’s, a Mays jersey making it’s way through Progressive field (take a minute to enjoy the irony of that), extra innings and a beer with a fan you’ve known for two minutes; these are our symbols of unity, our beacons of light guiding us towards safe harbor.

Journey: At some point this anthem gets played at  every stadium, it was even re-written to rally the SF Giants in 2012 (we’re here to win, but in case we lose, i’m purchasing a case of booze… that’s gold baby!)  Don’t. Stop. Believing.

Take us out to the ballgame: We don’t remember anyone teaching us the words but we know them all. And we scream it with the pride and gusto usually reserved for a National Anthem, because it is.

Fireworks: And I’m not talking about the ones in the sky (although baseball has those too). I’m talking about the fantastic meltdowns, courtesy of the managers, coaches, and even the players. Unlike boxing, in which the people involved are fighting presumably due to lack of options, when a member of America’s pastime loses it, it’s an expression of pure, unadulterated passion…in the form of flying bats. Play ball!

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