By: Maria Oropeza
"I may be a twin, but I'm one of a kind." – Unknown
When most people talk about being “single”, it means that they are no longer in a relationship. But for me, it meant no longer having my twin with me. This may not seem like a big deal to most but for us it was huge.
We had pretty much done everything together for twenty something years. With being a twin comes more than just someone who looks mostly like you, and the never ending questions of have you ever switched places? Or can you read each other minds? Including the endless suggestions of pranks, you could pull off.
It’s a kind of connection that is rather hard to explain. First let me say, no we cannot read each other’s minds. At least not in the “I know exactly what you’re thinking” way. It’s more of a feeling than actual telepathy. That said, going from having probably your bestest friend around ALL the time, to being miles apart is a major adjustment.
Personally, for me moving from Texas to Minnesota was a crazy experience by itself. But doing it without my sister made it that much harder. Having to find my way around and going to events and things alone was a little terrifying. Honestly, I wasn’t completely sure how to talk to people without my sister. When we did things together there was always something to talk about (because we’re twins and people tend to have questions).
Learning how to interact on my own was, at first, intimidating. Doing things alone doesn’t necessarily mean, just me, it meant going out with new people without my sister. When first meeting people I didn’t even mention that I was a twin. I felt like maybe it wasn’t that important. That I was needed to let people get to know me rather than base me off of who part of me was.
I remember when one of my, now best friends, found out that I was a twin. It was a few weeks into the semester and we were at a mentalist show. We had to write down something he couldn’t tell by just looking at us. My friend saw that I had written I was a twin.
Needless to say, she freaked out a little. As much as one can during a show. But in the end, she was totally cool with it. It wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it would be. She asked the normal “twin telepathy” questions, but was also interested in us as people. Did we like the same things, how are we dealing with being so far apart for so long.
Having moved around most of our lives, we became each other’s security blanket of sorts. You don’t have to endure awkward new kid conversations alone. Or go anywhere new alone. With your twin, you automatically have a buffer. When I decided to go back to school in Minnesota (Texas is home), we both lost that buffer.
On my own meeting new people I had to find something else to say about myself. And at first, I really didn’t know what to say. Who was I? How did people see me when I wasn’t with my sister? Needless to say, I got over my apprehension of telling people who I am as a twin and who I am an individual.
While going places and starting new experiences may be common practice for Singles (what we like to call non-twins) it can be rather nerve-wracking. Your buffer is gone, you feel kind of vulnerable. In a sense part of who you are is thousands of miles away. Even grocery shopping is a new activity. There is no one to bounce dinner ideas off of or to decide if you can afford Spaghetti-O’s or go with the Ramen (always spring for the O’s). On that note cooking for one person tends to be a struggle in the beginning but I started to learn that pasta and leftovers can be your best friend.
Over the years that we’ve been apart my sister and I have become closer from being apart. By becoming a part-time Single, I have come to learn more about myself. Who I am as an individual, who I am becoming and finding my “Muchness” as the Mad Hatter would put it. It’s been a journey that is still not over. There is more for us to discover about who we are as twins and who we are as ourselves.
