Ariana Grande appeared on the Zach Sang Show last weekend, where she ultimately spilled some tea about her record-breaking track ‘Thank U, Next’ and, simultaneously, her tumultuous relationship with ex-fiance Pete Davidson.
Grande first revealed that she was hesitant with listing off her exes names on the track, explaining that “I’m super shy when it comes to pitching wild things. So I was like, ‘Is it insane if I name people and thank them directly in the song?’ And Tayla [one of Ariana’s friends and co-writers] was like, ‘Bitch, it’s gonna be a thing if you do, but I think it’s brilliant and it’s special, and yes — do it.”
“It was hard to play for people,” she elaborated. “I knew that as soon as people heard the names they’d be like, ‘What the f**k is she doing?’”
But in a more interesting revelation, the singer shared that “Thank U, Next”—Grande’s first Number One on the Billboard Hot 100 and one of the hottest tracks of 2018—has three separate versions.
“In my relationship at the time, things were like up and down and on and off, and so I didn’t know what was going to happen and then we got back together,” Grande explained. “So I had to make a different version of it, and then we broke up again, so we ended up going with that verse.”
One of the scenarios included marrying Davidson, one accounted for a breakup with Davidson, and the final one was “nothing,” meaning she didn’t name names.
“There’s a version where I was getting married, there’s a version where I’m not getting married, there’s a version with nothing—we’re not talking about anything. …But we all knew that the first version was gonna be the version we ultimately went with,” she said.
Grande also revealed that she’d gotten Big Sean and Ricky Alvarez’s approval on the final version of the track, but when asked about Davidson she merely replied: “The people I’m in touch with liked it.”
The following video is so disturbing it should be illegal. I am serious. Arrest this man. That’s how foul this is. Do not say I didn’t warn you.
“Ok this is the craziest thing I’ve had this gigantic black mark on my face for months and it looks like it’s literally a pound of hair,” says the man in the video, as he commences to pull out what can only be described as Cher’s full head of hair from the 1990 classic Mermaids.
I assume these are his girlfriend’s pink tweezers he is using. Girlfriend, lose the man and burn those tweezers. You did nothing to deserve this, you poor sweet baby angel.
While the health dividends brought on by choosing to cook at home are both plentiful and apparent, the relationship benefits are less often discussed. That’s right, relationship benefits!
In a 2016 study, researchers found that one in five Americans “say someone who is a good cook turns them on the most – the exact same amount (19 percent) as those who are most turned on by a nice body.” I encourage you to pause and really let that statistic sink in. A huge number of people are as turned on by cooking acumen as they are by hot bodies.
Indeed, a 2014 article by the Washington Post bore the headline, “Couples Who Share Housework Have The Most And Best Sex Lives.” That’s because tensions over unfair housework division are directly correlated to the likelihood of divorce—which is initiated twice as often by women than by men.
Couples who do stuff together, stay together. A 2010 study by Stel & Vonk joins an ever-growing body of research that shows doing an activity with your partner creates a context in which the two of you can coordinate your actions.
This sort of nonverbal mimicry “helps people feel emotionally attuned with one another, and those who experience or engage in it tend to report greater feelings of having ‘bonded’ with their partner,” according to Psychology Today.
3. It strengthens communication.
But emotional bonds are strengthened in less subtle ways, too. Cooking together means spending quality time together—time spent discussing the events of the day, the future, ambitions and dreams. Time spent truly communicating. Without communication, the relationship is doomed.
According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, who headed up the Early Years of Marriage Project, most couples who have fallen into the routines of life only think they are communicating, when in fact what they’re really talking about is what she calls “maintaining the household,” or discussing chores, to-do lists, finances, etc. On the other hand, couples who do fun and challenging activities together have more time truly getting to know one another.
Lounging on the couch, staring at Instagram while a Netflix movie plays in the background does not count.
The phrase “you are what you eat” resides in the common vernacular for good reason: it’s true! The better you treat your body, the healthier foods you eat, the happier you’ll be. A recent study published in the American Journal of Public Health discovered that for every serving of fruits and veggies consumed, participants felt happier and more satisfied with their lives. Treat your body good, look good, feel good, and your relationships will undoubtedly thrive.
If you’re looking to strengthen your relationship with your partner (or with yourself!), the kitchen is an accessible, affordable, and fun place to start. Put on a catchy playlist, pop a bottle of cabernet, and whip up that shrimp scampi dish you’ve been wanting to try for months.
The Internet has chosen a new favorite comedian— and she’s only nine years old.
Screen and comedy writer Bess Kalb provided the world with a shining beacon of light in the swamp that is Twitter by tweeting out New Yorker cartoons captioned by her cousin’s nine-year-old daughter, Alice.
Kalb’s photos of the quippy one-liners quickly went viral, and once you read them you’ll have no trouble understanding why. “Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight,” Kalb wrote.
Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight. pic.twitter.com/Lhzmq7Pnsb
“(She’s freaking out with joy at your comments – I’m sending the screenshots to her mom),” tweeted Kalb. “Vintage Alice from 2017. I think you’ll like her earlier work. (She asked for a collection of EVERY cartoon with the real captions removed.)”
Vintage Alice from 2017. I think you’ll like her earlier work. (She asked for a collection of EVERY cartoon with the real captions removed) pic.twitter.com/sKr0CNFTZd
I am a professional joke writer for a professional TV show and I truly can’t touch any of this. Thank you for being as obsessed with Alice as our family is!
Kalb wrangled her viral tweet into a larger message and societal call to arms: encourage and support girls to be funny. She mentions how social ‘norms’ for the longest time dictated that girls simply had no right to be funny, citing writers of several popular comedy television shows as examples.
Alice is an incredible kid. She loves her little brother and @HamiltonMusical (she knows EVERY lyric). Teachers don’t always encourage creative writing, so today has been a huge shot of confidence for her. Let young girls know when they’re funny and smart. Many people don’t.
Doubling down on this. There was a Conan O’Brien interview on Fresh Air years ago where he talked about his sister making a joke at the dinner table that made him howl with laughter and their father looked right at her and told her girls shouldn’t do that. It’s unbecoming.
Alice is so lucky her amazing, hilarious mom @kimkassnove recognizes and celebrates her for trying (DILIGENTLY) to be funny. It’s exhausting to beat this drum, but comedy writing is an overwhelmingly male-dominated enterprise. Look through Emmy nominees for talk and sketch shows.
Sometimes there are more Joshes and Daniels on shows than all women combined. This is a startlingly frequent and real thing. I’ve talked to a lot of other female late night and comedy TV writers and many of us never wrote or did comedy in school because that was for the dudes.
Female writers of Parks and Rec, Silicon Valley, SNL, Fallon, and Kimmel DID NOT DO COMEDY in school because we were either rejected from male-run comedy behemoths (The Harvard Lampoon) or just were given enough cues growing up to just keep our heads down and get good grades.
She notes how important it so to remember that young girls have literally everything going against them– sometimes even their own families or teachers. And how boys don’t like to be less funny than girls, leading many to quell their inner humor and comedic prowess.
This could happen to Alice very easily, even with supportive parents. Her teacher ALREADY TOLD HER not to get “fancy” with her writing this year. Middle school boys don’t want to date girls who can get bigger laughs than them. So we adjust to fit everyone’s expectations.
The only reason some of us get a chance to do comedy professionally, and the actual reason I got into comedy when I applied to Kimmel six years ago, is someone recognized and amplified my voice. In my case it was @NellSco. She said “You’re funny.” That changed my life.
Nell found me on Twitter and told me to send her a packet of jokes and she’d send them to her agent who would send them to the show. Those jokes made it into my bosses hands because she stepped up for me. She’s done that for MANY girls, some of whom now write for John Oliver.
What I’m saying is maybe Conan’s sister would have had a good show. We’ll never know. Funny people like Alice are pretty rare. Comedy needs validation. If you’re lucky enough to have an Alice in your life, make sure she knows it.
Typos happen to the best of us, particularly when they aren’t recognized by spell check.
They even happen to newspapers. Just take a look at what happened to upstate New York’s The Post-Journal last Saturday after the outlet picked up an AP story about actress Julia Roberts.
The headline, which read “Julia Roberts Finds Life And Her Holes Get Better With Age” immediately went viral after readers noticed its unfortunate spelling error.
Obviously, the headline was meant to read “Roles” rather than “Holes”—though we’re certain both are true. The Post-Journal quickly issued a correction, but it was too late.
@TheEllenShow can’t believe this headline in our local paper… Julia Roberts will be glad to know her holes are getting better with age?? pic.twitter.com/gvZkOsBjyN
The mistake seems to have already been fixed on site, and the superstar has yet to respond to the veracity of the original headline—if true, how does she do it?
Internet, meet Bridget Nickerson. Bridget Nickerson has great style, pink hair, and nice mesh tops. Bridget also has a way with words. Specifically, words that scare away creeps sliding into her DMs. Specifically, dudes that try to ‘sex chat’ with random strangers off the Internet (what is this, MSN circa 2000???)
Anyway, take notes girls (and also guys, on what not to do):
First of all, do people really get off on sex chats with randos? PORN IS FREE, Y’ALL. Second of all, anybody who writes ‘cloths’ instead of ‘clothes’ can just go right to hell. Third of all, no descriptive sexy rhetoric between *kises you long and hard* and *takes off your cloths*? NOTHIN?
Not to mention the Shrek surprise. Bridget didn’t even use female Shrek (Fiona!) or human Shrek (?hot?) because she a savage. Also, way to bring it around full circle with the “Damn not going to even reply???” I love a bookend.
Bridget’s tweet went viral, racking up over 100,000 retweets and 240,000 likes in just a couple of days. I think it’s safe to say we now have a new template for dealing with grody Internet creeps. Naturally, Twitter LOVED IT.
2018 ain’t over yet, so there is certainly still time for a lot more idiocy to go down. And we aren’t even talking politics here! The following list deals almost entirely in celebrities and viral Internet stories that seeped their malodorous way into The Real World.
It was a difficult list to compile. Some stories were only fleetingly dumb. Some stories were objectively not dumb, though my coworkers tried to convince me they were (Lindsay Lohan Mykonos. If you know, you know.)
The point being, our intention wasn’t to bum you out, which is why we didn’t include stories about how your Oreo addiction is literally making orangutans go extinct. We did include the following:
1. DJ Khaled Announcing He Refuses To Go Down On Women
This past spring, the Internet was aghast to learn that rapper and motivational Snapchat guru DJ Khaled strictly refuses to go down on women. He explained his oral recalcitrance in an interview with The Breakfast Club originally given in 2015, exclaiming that he was the “king,” made the money, and as a result did not need to satisfy his wife in that way.
“If you holding it down for your woman I feel like the woman should praise. And a man should praise the queen. But you know, my way of praising is called, ha-ha, ‘How was dinner?’, ‘You like the house you living in? You like all them clothes you getting? I’m taking care of your family, I’m taking care of my family…’ You know, I’m putting in the work.”
When pressed by the interviewer—“So, you’re saying you don’t go down?”—DJ Khaled emphatically declared, “Nahhh. Never! I don’t DO that,” several times before clarifying that the same rules do not apply to him.
“It’s different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the king. There’s some things that y’all might not wanna do, but it got to get done. I just can’t do what you want me to do. I just can’t.”
2. Domino’s Offering, Then Cancelling, A ‘Free Pizzas For Life’ Promotion To Customers Who Got A Tattoo Of Their Logo
Domino’s in Russia severely underestimated millennial lack of care concerning our corporeal selves (we don’t even need free pizza to get dumb tattoos! We get them all the time, gratis!) when they decided to run a two-month-long promotion offering lifelong free pizza to anyone who got inked with the company’s logo.
Just five days in, Domino’s was forced to cut the promotion way short as it tightened its rules: The first 350 people to post photos of their tattoos, which needed to be at least 2 centimeters in size, would get 100 medium pizzas yearly. They later announced that 381 people qualified for free pizza in the few days the promotion was running, and estimated that over a million people would have gotten the brand logo tattoos had it ran the full two months. It’s Russia, after all.
3. Tom Brady’s Super Bowl Coat
2018’s Super Bowl LII was a watershed moment in NFL history: It was the Philadelphia Eagles first win and the event to which Patriots quarterback Tom Brady showed up wearing an utterly confounding but also super-chic gray trench coat.
Twitter went wild with references to Zoolander, Tom Cruise’s character in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia, West German techno DJs, and Blade Runner. Pictures of Tom Brady in his fashionable trench were quickly overshadowed by pictures of Tom Brady looking really, really sad after his team lost the Super Bowl later that day.
4. The Laurel/Yanny Debate, AKA, “The Dress” Of 2018
The clip above was posted to every social media available. Chrissy Teigen weighed in. The country was torn asunder. Scientists and linguists weighed in and eventually determined that some listeners attend more to the lower frequency range and some attend more to the higher frequency range, and wherever you fall determines whether you hear Yanny or Laurel.
But also, the audio clip originated with a vocabulary website, meaning the *true* answer is “laurel” because the alternative is not an actual word. SORRY.
5. People Eating, Then Vaping, Tide Pods
What started as a terrible joke turned into an Internet challenge, leaving teens with no choice but to, uh, eat laundry detergent in order to prove their…??? Bravery? According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, there were 39 cases of teens ingesting laundry detergent in the first two weeks of January 2018 (compared to 53 cases in all of 2017). YouTube quickly began removing Tide Pod Challenge videos. The Tide PR team was in a state of crisis. They had New England Patriot’s tight end Rob Gronkowski explain that eating Tide Pods was a bad idea.
What should Tide PODs be used for? DOING LAUNDRY. Nothing else.
The notion that this horrifying challenge could get any worse seemed impossible. Until some dude vaped a Tide Pod. The video, in which the man is seen pouring liquid from a Tide Pod into a vape and inhaling it, was taken down across nearly every social media platform—hopefully before some poor teenager could see it and follow his example.
Instagram—@vapetricks
6. Vanity Fair‘s Photoshop Fail
im tryna figure out how many legs reese witherspoon’s got in here, it’s been bothering me for the last five minutes pic.twitter.com/u1uQ63sDdd
Vanity Fair’s January 2018 Hollywood portfolio issue was notable for the legendary actors adorning its cover. But more notable were the Photoshop fails, which bestowed upon Reese Witherspoon three legs and gave Oprah Winfrey three hands.
The magazine issued a tweetsplanation, noting that Witherspoon’s third leg was merely the lining of her dress, and admitting that Oprah’s third hand was, indeed, a SNAFU.
As for @Oprah, how can we expect her to juggle it all with just two hands?
¯\_(?)_/¯_/¯ (We are correcting this error? online?.) https://t.co/QNd74YtSTz
7. Ariana Grande Defending Pete Davidson’s “Butthole Eyes”
Back in August, when Pete and Ari were in the very midst of their social-media-saturated infatuation, Barstool Sports published an article about Pete Davidson’s “butthole eyes.” BS explained that what they meant by “butthole eyes” was “dark circles around the eyes,” though they didn’t explain the logic behind using such awfully descriptive and rude terminology.
Davidson had at this point quit social media. No matter, because Ari came to his defense on Twitter, writing “y’all do kno this man has an auto immune disease …… right ? ….. like you do understand what you’re doing when u do this right ? jus wanna make sure.” (Pete Davidson has Crohn’s disease, which causes sunken eyes as a result of dehydration.)
Everything about this is dumb. Responding to the article is dumb. Writing it in the first place was dumb. Getting engaged to someone after two weeks of dating is dumb.
8. Alec Baldwin Being A Dad (NOT A Zad(dy)) On His Daughter’s Instagram Thirst Trap
Ireland Baldwin, young model daughter of two famous people, posted a spicy bikini-clad photograph of herself atop a motorcycle last August.
The Instagram comments were predictable, until her dad Alec Baldwin made an appearance. “No. Just…no.” (Can’t you just hear him saying it?)
Back in June, the International House Of Pancakes announced they would be changing their name from IHOP to IHOb. The company managed to keep people guessing what the “b” could possibly mean until finally admitting what most everyone had already figured out; “b” stood for “burgers.”
Soon afterwards, IHOb admitted the “name change” was a publicity stunt to promote their new line of burgers, which, surprisingly, did not catch on. They reverted back to IHOP the following month and confirmed on Twitter that the new burger line is still a go.
All service industry employees and veterans have tales the rest of the world simply would not believe. The types of characters that reside in the kitchen and on the service floor are beyond description and sometimes even comprehension.
Though there are those patrons who are sweet, generous, and enjoyable to talk to, there seem to be far more freakazoids out there, intent on ruining somebody’s day.
Redditor u/StittDownAndListen recently asked the Reddit community, “Waiters and Waitresses of Reddit, what is the most awkward couple date you have ever witnessed at work?” The responses are bewildering, upsetting, and also somewhat hilarious.
1.
First date, I would estimate college age. They’re eating and the girl says “I’m having a really nice time, but my friend just texted me and asked me if I wanted to hang out, and I said yes, so I actually have to go.”
Had a couple come in one night and everything seemed to be going fine. We just hired a new sever who was training and I asked her if she had any questions. She was still nervous about greeting tables so I told her she could shadow me and watch what I do.
We go over to the couples table and all I hear from the new server is “YOU F**KING BITCH I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME”
Turns out the guy was her bf on a date with his side chick and he didn’t know she just got a job there.
I guess you could call this a couple date. I was working at a wine bar when a married couple sat down on a pretty slow night. I went over the specials and they ordered. Once appetizers came out the man thought it would be a good idea to serve his wife divorce papers.
I did my best to avoid that side of the bar. I did bring out tissues for the wife who was breaking down. I ended up boxing up the dinner. The guy paid but I do not envy that ride home.
When I was bartending this guy came into the bar on a week night, average looking guy, late twenties. He sat down and asked for a drink and told me he was nervous because it was his first date in 3 years and they had met on tinder. He arrived 20 minutes before her expected arrival to get rid of some of his nerves….two hours passed and he waited for her with no text or call explaining she would be late.
This woman walks in, walks up to the guy and I’m thinking “wow! She really came! “ . She looks at him and says “Are you Joe?”, the guy replies yes and gets up to properly greet her looking incredibly excited….she says “no thanks…” and just leaves.
What a foul creature.
Joe(not his real name) and I proceeded to get way too drunk for a Tuesday. Poor average Joe.
There’s a habit of some older couples where the elderly gentleman will order on behalf of his wife. I guess it might have been cute and romantic once, but it doesn’t work with some younger couples.
I was serving a younger couple (early 20s), who seemed pretty early into the relationship. They were ordering drinks and he orders her drink for her.
Far from being dazzled by him knowing what she wanted, she didn’t want any of it “Well I’d actually like a latte, not a coke. But fine whatever, if I don’t get a say…”
He responded quite angrily with “oh sorry, have what you want then!” She got her latte and he glared at me. They ate and left.
Couple came into the restaurant dressed very goth. I wasn’t their server but I was running the cash register just a few feet away. They proclaimed to everyone that they were energy vampires, but not to fear them because they won’t hurt us.
They said they didn’t need our food for sustenance, but enjoyed the tasted. After ordering the meal they then politely asked the waitress if she would stick around for a second so they could feed off of her aura so they could have enough energy for the night.
The waitress said ok and gave me a side glance over her shoulder that I knew meant “I better get a good tip for this”… The couple clasped each other’s hands, closed their eyes, and made sucking sounds for a solid minute before leaning back in the seats and sighing as if they had just had a turkey dinner.
The waitress was indeed tipped well for her delicious energy.
Served a deaf couple having a fight. They went from both of them signing furiously to her crying and signaling to me for a stack of napkins for, I assumed, her tears. She whips out a pen and starts writing paragraph after paragraph angrily.
It was awkward because i kept having to come back to the table since they ordered multiple courses and he was just eating and signing while she was hunched over the table writing away while crying.
When they finally left they tipped me pretty well though so I guess it wasn’t too bad?
When I was a waitress at Olive Garden, one of my tables was going over their divorce paperwork. When I greeted the table I asked how everyone was and the woman said, “Terrible! We are getting a divorce.”
There was a couple at my work having drinks, girl went to the toilet, came back and admitted that she’d been sleeping with the guys brother. Apparently glasses were thrown across the room and they both got kicked out.
Not exactly a date- but I served a couple one time who had met up to discuss the terms of their divorce at the fancy-ish restaurant I worked at at the time.
They came before the dinner rush so they were pretty much my only table, and every-time I’d check in on them the wife was extremely angry/tearful and they were bickering about holiday schedules for their daughter/timeshares etc.
It wasn’t the end of the world but it was extremely awkward to butt in to change our their forks or refill drinks while they were so emotionally charged.
A girl brought two tinder dates and played them off each other game show style. They seemed to be unaware this was what would happen. Splitting the bill was hilarious.
Fans lashed out at Sarah Michelle Gellar after she posted a throwback lingerie picture as Thanksgiving thinspo.
On Monday, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer star shared professional scantily-clad photos which she captioned, “I’m just going to pin these up all over my house as a reminder not to overeat on Thursday #thanksgivingprep.” Gellar, in the three-photo series, does indeed look incredibly thin.
Though there is nothing wrong with posting sexy photos of yourself on social media, the message that we ought to be body-shaming ourselves for indulging during a food-centered holiday is not an ideal message to spread—especially when we consider how Gellar fits into society’s “ideal” physical type: blonde hair, blue eyes, super thin.
The photos remain on Gellar’s Instagram page despite the many fans and trolls who took to the comments section to voice their disappointment.
Dozens suggested that the language and message of Gellar’s post was triggering for people who had suffered with eating disorders.
“jennflleming” wrote:
it’s fine what she’s doing but look from the eyes of someone struggling with eating disorders who look at someone like her and then they do the same and then they won’t enjoy the holidays due to the fact that she put this false reality into their head. You shouldn’t support someone who would do this to young girls.
“adrianpaulchardona” wrote:
it’s a bit vain, for sure, but not offensive in itself. however, for those who struggle with weight problems, particularly girls and women with anorexia, it is a potentially dangerous post.
Some criticized Gellar for not being more mindful of the influence her post could have on young people.
“_souldiergirl_ ” wrote:
Not a great example for young girls. Hope my daughter never sees this post.
“mccluskymichelle” wrote:
You have a platform to promote healthy body image and lifestyle. Please be aware of how your posts can be interpreted and how they can influence young women who look up to you.
Your caption is problematic and I suggest you do some research on eating disorders, the mental health issues that go along with them, and how diet culture is harmful to women. Girls look up to you, and you should be mindful of the message you’re sending.???????
While others complained that the backlash was merely from people unable to take a joke.
“ritakims80” wrote:
I thought it was a funny thanksgiving post, and nothing more. Dont worry there are still people out there who know how to take a joke lol ???
“a1mezzo” wrote:
Dear Sarah, I understand completely about not wanting to overeat. I took your post to be a simple reminder. I admire you and wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving!
“szf1234512345” wrote:
If you wanna overeat, do it. If you want to watch what you eat, do it. I don’t understand what all these uber sensitive comments. I love when people post pictures of wanting to stay healthy (however they define that) are automatically called body shamers. Insane.
“megsterr91” wrote:
@sarahmgellar don’t apologize. I think it was clear what you meant. People just want to get worked up about ANYTHING.
Gellar wrote a followup statement, writing how fat shaming “could not be further from my intentions.”
“I love Thanksgiving and unfortunately my eyes are often bigger than my stomach, and I tend to eat so much I make myself sick,” she wrote. “This was a joking reminder to myself not to do that.”
“I’m terribly sorry that people were offended by my attempt at humor,” she wrote, as an apology for the misunderstanding. “Anyone that knows me, knows I would never intentionally “shame” any one on any basis. I am a champion of all people.”
We need more good vibes in the world. The simplest way to do that is…more compliments! When’s the last time you got a compliment? When’s the last time you paid one? If you can’t remember, then you don’t have enough compliments in your life.
Redditor u/MostarRed asked the Men Of Reddit, “What is that one compliment you got that you’ll never forget?” and the answers were SO WHOLESOME (most of them…) it pulls at the heartstrings.
25.
“You’re really funny. You should talk to people more.” I have social anxiety and that was the nicest thing anyone ever said to me imo.”
“I was shopping for clothes with my wife and kid about a year ago, and I went to pay while they’d wait outside. As I approached the cashier, she put down whatever she was doing and turned to greet me, and that’s when she made a genuinely confused/embarrassed face.
She noticed that she confused me with that reaction and apologized completely saying that she was a bit blown away when she saw my face – she wasn’t expecting to see someone so good-looking and it startled her I guess.
It was a nice ego boost at the time since she was quite attractive actually, and I was probably at my fattest, but I guess I had a good beard and hair day lol.”
“Delivered a pizza to 2 drunk chicks, as i was walking away they yelled that i should turn the AC on in my car. I turned around just as one yelled “CAUSE YOU’RE LOOKIN PRETTY HOT” as she slammed the door. That was a good day.”
“I dated this girl for a few months about a year and a half ago. Everything was going well but then she just ghosted me and I didn’t hear from her for 8 months. I didn’t think much of it but then she got into contact with me and explained that she had went back to her home country because there was an emergency with her family.
We reconciled but I had just started dating another girl and told her I didn’t want to get back together with her because of that. Anyway, about a week later, I heard from a mutual friend that had been out with her that if she said ‘If I had known I would have never let him go. No other guy has treated me anywhere near as good as he did.’”
When I worked at Chipotle back when they had long lines, a lady in her 40’s got her food, ate, then got back in line. She got to the front, I wait to take her order and she just says “I wanted to tell you that you are going to make a great father one day.” I was a little confused but said thanks and then she left. Still a bit confused where that came from, but a compliments a compliment. Still feels good.
“i been walking the same route for over a year for exercise trying to lose weight. i had lost about 120 pounds by this time when i heard a womans voice i did not know call out to me from her back yard. “im proud of you, you have lsot a lot of weight” i havent seen her since but to me that helped me stay motivated hearing that.”
“Some little girl in a cart, in a grocery store, once said ‘he’s pretty,’ about me, to her mother. I could hear her mother telling her ‘thats not what we say to boys.’ I didnt bother to say anything, but I wouldve told her that its ok to call anyone pretty.”
“Some years back, when kiddo was an infant, I was grocery shopping with kiddo in the cart. I noticed a cute woman in the veggie section as I was getting stuff. A couple minutes later I helped an older woman who was in a motorized wheelchair. I was in no rush that day, so I went with her and got stuff from shelves.
There were folks who had helped my grandmother with stuff like that, so I was trying to pay it forward. Also kiddo was really charmed by her, so they flirted and it was really cute. I get her to the front, then go back to my shopping. A minute after that, I’m grabbing a couple frozen things and the cute woman comes up.
She says something along the lines of “I see your ring, and I swear I’m not trying to hit on you, but you’re very cute, and then I saw you being nice to that lady, and playing with your baby, and now you’re super cute, and your wife is really lucky!”
There were some ums and stammers in there, and she blushed as I thanked her, and then raced off. But damn, y’all. That was some top-notch complimenting, and I damn near strutted out of that store.”
“I was out back building a new deck on my house and my daughter came outside to tell me she thought I was doing a good job and that she was proud of me for being able to build a deck.”
“Was working in a restaurant and told a guest that I would have the bartender make them a really annoying off-menu cocktail. Put in the order, walked to the bar to beg her to make this cocktail that I know she hates dealing with. She looks at me and sighs and says “That grin should be illegal.” and proceeds to make the cocktail. Still makes me smile to myself.”
“I’m a little self conscious of my laugh because it literally sounds like a dying hyena, and I’ve had a couple girls tell me “OMG I love your laugh” and “you have the best laugh”, that always puts a smile on my face thinking about that.
Also, I met one other person in my life who has the same laugh as me and we actually met in school, and we would sometimes sit on opposite sides of the classroom and then when one of us would laugh the other one would laugh and then it sounded like an echo chamber or a zoo or something, it was really funny.”
“I was talking to my ex and a few of his friends about this girl I knew in high school, Cecily. I said “she’s the kind of person that makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world when you’re talking to her. She engages so deeply and always seems really interested in what you’re saying to her.”
One of his friends said “Downvoteallofthem, I think you’re one of those people” and everyone else in the car voiced their agreement. It was the coolest thing that ever happened to me. I’ll never forget that.”
“Once, a blind girl that I helped to arrive at her place, she told me that she could feel my very good vibes and she was comfortable walking with me because that. I won’t forget that.”
“Goddamn. You just blew every compliment I’ve ever gotten out of the water. My best was on tinder. I’d rate myself a 5-6 most days, but capable of a 7 with proper effort. And this range is displayed in my photo choices so my matches know what they’re getting.
I matched with a perfect 10 once. Unfortunately not for the reason I wanted. But she goes “im sorry, I’m honestly not interested. But I had to match with you and tell you how gorgeous your eyelashes are. I’m super jealous.”
Definitely not as good as yours, but it made me feel good that a girl I saw as a 10 wanted a physical feature that I had.”
“A girl I worked with once asked if I could give her a ride home because her ride wasn’t able to pick her up. I did, and asked her out to dinner, which she agreed to. While we were at dinner, she confessed: “I didn’t actually need a ride home. I just wanted a ride from a cute guy.”
“When I got my MA, a professor of mine came over to congratulate me after the ceremony. She said “You didn’t speak much in my classes, but when you did I always listened because I knew what you said would matter.” It was a really simple statement at the time, but I think about it often.”
“I was at a funeral and my old school bus drivers wife who I had never met looked at me and said “you must be one of those (my last name) I said “yes,” She said “I knew it when I saw your eyes”. It made sense to me. It’s happened my whole life.
My whole family has large brown eyes and I’m always recognized for that so I said “yeah, we all have big brown eyes”. She said “That’s not exactly it. You all have kind eyes. You can tell by looking at a (my last name) they are genuine and good people” probably the most sincere compliment I’ve gotten.”
“My uncle was a world renowned chef. Cooked for kings, queens, and every US president from Nixon to Clinton. I grilled him a venison steak once and he said “wow, this is really good.” I will wear that as a badge of honor for for the rest of my days.”
“Was at Starbucks and the attractive barista asked for my name to put on the cup. I told her, but when I got my cup it said “handsome guy :)”. Made my week haha”
“I’ve been very depressed lately. I’ve never felt a low like this before. My roommate noticed because I stopped doing the dishes on my designated days, which is unlike me; I just couldn’t find the energy or motivation.
I told her and she started writing encouraging notes on our shared bathroom mirror with dry erase markers. Yesterday she wrote “5 things that make ColourfulFunctor awesome”, and today she wrote “I am a better person because of you, ColourfulFunctor”.
I think she literally saved my life. I’m still struggling, but I’m so lucky to have her.”
I worked with a hilarious black lady that didn’t get out much because she had just had a baby so the alcohol had gotten to her at the christmas party and while we were both waiting for our spouses to pick us up she was like
Her: is your wife picking you up?
Me: Yeah
Her: Is she fine as shit? I bet she’s fine as shit, cause you fine as shit.
Wife drives up in her car and she walks right over to her and tells her to roll the window down
Her: Damn she is fine as shit, yall have fun getting it tonight.
Made both my wife and I feel really really good about ourselves that night haha.
