Author: Marie Cyprien

When it comes to conversations about religion, my story is simple. I used to be religious about Jesus until I found a relationship with Him.

It sounds strange because it is strange, but it’s the truth. 

I grew up going to Catholic school, wore the uniform, said the ‘Our Father’ prayer every morning, and had communion. But my heart wasn’t in it.

And I think most of us have been in that place before. You’re told to pray this kind of prayer, sing these songs, do xyz, and you’re alright with God. Pretty soon it gets boring and seems pointless. You wonder if God exists, if He actually hears you, if He actually cares.

I believed in Jesus but I only saw Him from a distance, I only saw Him as an idol to worship and nothing else because though I had religion, I didn’t have a connection to God. 

I didn’t know how much I needed that connection until I fell into depression. I struggled with wanting to die everyday and at the time, I didn’t have anyone to talk to and counseling wasn’t helping that much. 

So I did the only thing I could do, I prayed. Though I did feel peace, still I struggled with the darkness in my heart. But I didn’t give up, I kept searching for God’s heart and mind you, it wasn’t all peaches and cream. There were times where I doubted and was even angry with God.

But when I started going to a non-denominational church, I was surprised to know had gone through similar struggles and shared how coming to Christ helped them. 

What I’ve learned in these encounters, through intimate prayer with God, and in taking time to read the Bible as well as books that explore the questions I have about Him, about the afterlife, and so on, is that God’s purpose for us all is to have relationship with us. 

That He’s not so much interested in what I do and accomplish as much as getting to know me. 

Of course, He already knows me but He wanted me to voluntarily get to know Him and share my life with Him. And when I did that, my life was changed and it continues to change.

You see finding God in what Christ did on the cross is what Christianity is all about. Though the Bible is my foundation, seeking God is what it’s really about. 

It’s true that when you accept Jesus into your life, you do receive salvation but what I’ve learned from losing religion and gaining a relationship with Him is that heaven doesn’t begin when I die but here and now on earth.

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People who meet me for the first time often think I’m either cold hearted or heartless and I could understand why because I’m not the most expressive person. 

I barely talk a lot about the personal things and I’m socially selective when it comes to making new friends. And when it comes to dating, it takes me a while to open up.

But the thing is though I’m guarded, I’m not heartless because I have a heart, it’s just that I have to protect it.

Because when your heart has taken so many punches, you can’t help but protect it. It’s a matter of life and death.

It’s because I have such a big heart that I’ve had to guard it. I’ve allowed certain people to come in who couldn’t be trusted because I saw good in them and I allowed that goodness to blind me to their darkness.

I let them in because I wanted to see them through their trials. But at the end of the day, I ended getting used, hurt, and abandoned.

The pain that your heart goes through can feel way worse than physical pain. It’s not something that you can romanticize because it changes you to the point where you can’t even recognize yourself.

You go from a loving and trusting to guarding and resenting over time. 

But that doesn’t mean I have no heart nor does it even mean I hate everyone. I’m just more careful with who I trust and I now understand that not everyone enters your life with the best intentions.

For more of Marie's writings, follow her on Facebook.

1. We tend to feel older than we are. Aquarians are usually labeled outsiders for their outside-of-the-box way of thinking. Most of us have grown up without friends and have experienced bullying. Those experiences can age us internally.

2. We need our alone time…because our minds are always running even when they don’t have any fuel. We sometime even have to take a day to rest and recharge or else we’ll go crazy.

3. We have very close friends…because we’re selectively social. We can only open up to the kind of friends who have been there for us for a long time. We value long lasting friendships where we can be at peace and have fun.

4. But we do like meeting new people. At the same time, we don’t mind getting to know new people because we like to hear their stories. It just takes us a while to trust and really get to know them.

5. We love, love, love intellectual conversations. There’s nothing like a thought provoking conversations with a friend at a cafe in a bookstore or on the couch with our roommate on a weekend night. It’s heaven for us aquarians to have fun and stimulating conversations.

6. We look at a person’s heart rather than their selfies…because for us, that’s more valuable. Aquarians are more interested in the story behind the facebook posts and instagram selfies. We’re not easily infatuated with fancy words as we are with actions.

7. We’re hyper observant…which is why we tend to have a quiet demeanor. We like to listen more than we like to talk. We know a lot about people by their body language and expressions than what they say. 

8. We’re not into the hook up culture. We’d rather date the old fashion way because it’s so much more fun and creative than casual sex. Aquarians get a kick out of trying new things, especially in dates. It brings us closer to the person we’re dating 

9. We’re binge thinkers. If we read about an odd fact on the internet, we’ll be thinking about it for days. Aquarians tend to live in their own heads. 

10. We can’t contain our imaginations...it’s why we’re known as one of the most innovative signs in the zodiac. Our imaginations go far and beyond. Most aquarians are writers and artists because it gives room for our imaginations.  

11. We tend to get obsessed with our hobbies. No matter what it is, we put our all into it. Aquarians love what they do which is why we do what we love no matter the cost. We're that dedicated.

12. We seek to change the world for the better. Aquarians are idealists. We always think about ways the world could be a better place because we have compassion for it. It breaks our hearts to see bad things happen all around but it also gives us the motivation to change it.

For more of Marie's writings, follow her on Facebook.

We all know love isn’t something you feel, it’s something you do. Love is an action word, a choice to stay through all the hardships and pleasures.

If you depend only on your feelings to know whether or not you’re in love with someone, you won’t be in love for very long. It’s pretty much why most fall out of love. 

They feel the love and get infatuated with it. But when their feelings change, their commitment abandons them and they leave.

But I must admit that sometimes, I wish you can feel my love for you.

Because if you can feel my love, you’d understand that I do love you even on days where it seems like I don’t.

If you can feel my love, you’d feel how much I enjoy listening to you talk about the things that matter to you most and the dreams that you’re afraid of but want to do anyway because it’s in your heart.

You’d know how much I value you by caring about what you care. Even in those days when I’d like to be alone, when I seem detached, I wish you could feel that I still miss you and love you. 

I hope you can feel my love in those Christmas gifts and birthday treats. I hope you know that I don’t give them to you because I have to, but I want to.

If you can feel my love, you’d know how much my body misses you, how much I crave you. It’s my self-control that keeps a lid on it.

If you can feel my love, you’d know I love you just because. You’d know that my passion for you is also compassion. I’m with you because you are you, so you don’t need to perform. 

For more of Marie’s writings, follow her on Facebook.

With all the negativity in the world, it’s hard not to be a debbie downer. If you’re a millennial 20-something year old, you probably take a look at your life daily and go, wow, this is sad. 

Your social life is netflix, your dating life is a series of unsolved mysteries, you're kind of a mess but kind of killin’ it too, and you often daydream about decent housing. 

With all these things that run through your mind, it’s hard not to be pessimistic, especially when you factor in the craziness that goes on in the world. 

But let’s be honest, apathy can be exhausting. It leaves you thirsty for happiness. 

Scrolling down your facebook feed and seeing your friends do awesome stuff like get engage and backpack through Europe, doesn’t help either.

But you don’t have to travel the world to be genuinely happy. 

You stream in your joy by taking your eyes off the negative and landing them on the good things that are going on in your life because there's no point in worrying about the negative, you just have to face it.

You find happiness in the little things. 

You hard wire happiness when you stop looking for it in counterfeits. There's a difference between instant pleasure and fulfilling happiness. 

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you, scrolling down your facebook, eating a slice of cake, canceling plans, etc. will give you some kind of relief that won't last long and will leave you feeling empty.

But relief isn't happiness.

You stream in happiness when you learn to forgive and move on because those problems that plague your life no longer have a center.

Because you hardwire happiness when you become the center.

For more of Marie's writings, follow her on Facebook.