Author: Masha Fante

27 Jokes You’ll Appreciate If You’re As Obsessed With ‘Tidying Up With Marie Kondo’ As I Am

Netflix rang in the new year by dropping “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo,” and I am obsessed.

The show is informative, soothing, and has already made me cry ~15 times, just three episodes in! It’s difficult to point to just one reason it’s so addictive and tearjerking. Marie’s endless optimism and positive attitude is certainly a factor, as is her ability to genuinely help couples tidy their homes—and their relationships, at the same damn time!

Yes, it’s a makeover show. But Kondo’s unique methodology, calming personality, and “spark joy” philosophy make it so, so much more. If you know, you know.

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This Viral Siri Phone Hack Video Is The First Straight Fire Jam Of 2019

Every so often, a piece of groundbreaking work comes along and changes your understanding of art and the world around you. I am pleased to report that this has already happened, just one day into 2019!

It comes to us in the form of a video, in which a man can be heard asking Siri, “What’s one trillion to the tenth power?” and to which Siri replies by saying, “one trillion raised to the tenth power is one zero zero zero…” (She proceeds to say ‘zero’ 120 times, presumably, though it doesn’t actually matter because the only thing that matters is the sick beat dropped by two pen-wielding dudes over her voice.)

Honestly it’s way cooler than it sounds and you should waste no time in watching, right now:

People were straight up impressed with this finessing of what turned out to be a low-key banger.

The Siri hack prompted some to record and share their own remixes, like this hot fire Punjab remix:

Or this spoon-led beat:

Non-iOS users be warned: don’t try to buy yourself some of this free happiness, as it doesn’t work on other devices. The rest of us will be out here boppin’ to Siri until 2020.

Viral Clip Of Gordon Ramsay Harassing Sofia Vergara Will Make Your Skin Crawl

Gordon Ramsay is catching serious heat this week after a video clip from 2010 resurfaced, in which he and fellow guest Sofia Vergara give interviews on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

The clip began making the rounds on social media and quickly went viral as viewers noted Ramsay’s inappropriate behavior towards Vergara.

At one point in the video, Vergara asks the men, “Did I scare you guys?,” referencing her loud scream in the previous skit. “I never scream like that in real life. It was all acting,” to which Ramsay responds, “only in the bedroom?” as he touches her arm. She is clearly uncomfortable as she leans away from Ramsay’s hand.

Leno then shows pictures of the Modern Family star in a bikini vacationing in Greece and Italy. In one shot, the actress is eating a slice of pizza, prompting Ramsay to say, “You seem like you’re enjoying that. You had a whole wedge in your mouth at one time?”

Vergara becomes noticeably irritated, but Ramsay forges onward, asking “You haven’t heard of a knife and fork? You don’t eat pizza with a knife and a fork,” before saying, “You just pick it up and stick it in.”

The celebrity chef also insults a Colombian dessert Vergara brought to the show, exclaiming that it tasted like “s**t fudge.” This is par for the course when it comes to Ramsay, though repeatedly touching Vergara—and one point hitting her on the side of the thigh—is not.

“No touching!” she yells at him. She also appears to yell “ese tipo no respeta,” which translates to “this guy does not respect me.”

As the clip above began to go viral, more and more people added their thoughts to the conversation.

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We’re coming for all you grody dudes in 2019.

24 Dudes Who Tried To Sext But Ended Up Ruining Everything

Online dating means anonymity and an enormous pool of willing applicants to choose from. So it’s not really surprising that dudes are on there trying out the world’s worst pickup/sexting lines left and right. They have very little to lose, after all.

But, still. Some of these sext attempts are just…a lot. Where do these dudes even come up with this sh*t? Some of them were clearly cribbed off more clever people on Reddit. But others are the result of unrestrained horniness, and/or stupidity, and/or just willful ignorance? Honestly, I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you. Nobody can.

But there is one among us who is dedicated to documenting all these sexting fails anyway. They go by the Tumblr name of straightwhiteboystexting, and before you get all mad about the name, let me offer an explanation straight from the horse’s mouth: “The name of this blog is based off of the phenomenon of the “straight white boy text” aka asking “hey what’s your bra size ;)” in the middle of a conversation, or things like “what would you do if you were here haha lol ;)”. Basically things that even if you want to sext with the person, they either completely ruin the mood either because they’re not sexy or because it pretty much puts all the sexting work on you. The phrase “you sext like a straight white boy” comes from this. Boys of all orientations and races do this. And not all of them do it, either.”

So there.

1. Christopher, who started off so strong:

straightwhiteboystexting.org

2. This dude, who asked the perfect thing if his intention was to disgust:

straightwhiteboystexting.org

3. Sadegh, who clearly has way too much going on:

straightwhiteboystexting.org

4. This guy, with the perv cat:

straightwhiteboystexting.org
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The 45 Best Tweets By Women Of 2018

What a year it’s been for women! In 2018, women candidates broke the records for the number of candidates for governor, U.S. House and U.S. Senate—and that was prior to the 2018 midterm elections!

A record-breaking 90 women are expected to make their way to Washington in January 2019. This includes the first female and openly bisexual senator from Arizona (Kyrsten Sinema), the first female senators from South Dakota and Tennessee (Krisi Noem and Marsha Blackburn), and the first Native American and Muslim women to be elected to Congress (Deb Haaland, Sharice Davids, Rashida Tlaib, and Ilhan Omar).

Lest we forget, we also got our youngest-ever woman elected to Congress.

But 2018 was also a watershed year for women on Twitter. Here are 45 of the funniest and best tweets by women this year:

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