Author: Megan Valentin

As any girl with long hair will tell you, living with long hair can be hell. Some days you love your hair. Other days, you absolutely loathe it. Trust me. You will not truly understand unless you have or have had long hair.

1. You can’t go even one day without brushing it. I mean, unless you want to deal with a matted rat’s nest the next day.

2. Any kind of styling takes hours. Yes. I said hours.

3. Want to change your color? Be prepared to buy at least 3 boxes of dye or spend all day at a professional stylist.

4. Wash, lather, and rinse is a whole process that makes showering a chore. Who knew it could be so complicated?

5. Shampoo and conditioner? Or 2-in-1? Honestly, the latter makes the process so much easier.

6. It’s obvious when our hair is dirty. Like, you can literally see the difference.

7. Haircuts. Take. Forever.

8. Putting our hair into a ponytail requires actual effort.

9. Having our hair down can lead to a major mess. Especially while eating.

10. We shed. Horribly. Not only is there hair in the shower drain, but also all throughout our living space.

11. Frizz. It is inevitable.

12. Long hair and hot weather do not mix. You will sweat.

13. Rarely (and I mean rarely) do we ever look picture perfect.

Although we may constantly gripe and complain about our hair, in the end, we still love having it long. We envy those with short hair that doesn’t require much effort. But when we make the bold move to finally chop our hair off, it usually ends in regret. It’s a love-hate relationship. So just a word to the wise… If you’re considering growing your hair long, just make sure you’re ready for the commitment.

Anxiety is like having a 500 pound weight fastened to your ankles at the very same time that you feel an intense urge to leave. 

You don't exactly know why, but something inside you says "Run." And you desperately want to, but that weight is keeping you firmly in place, captive, imprisoned. 

The mind of a person with anxiety feels just like this. Without knowing why, you want to escape, but you can't get out of your own head, so you're a prisoner to your debilitating thoughts.

So when people ask me if I'm okay, it's easier to answer yes than to explain this.

Because even if I do explain, it won't justify anything. In my head, those thoughts will always tell me it's my fault.

My feelings of inadequacy, coupled with my desire to make everyone happy and my need to right a wrong, create a playground for my anxiety.

Everything in my mind becomes a blur. I can’t think clearly or rationally. Everything in me is focused on “this is all my fault.”

I just get pulled down into a world of complete uncertainty.

My only way to escape is to force myself not to focus on the situation at hand. I do whatever I can to distract my mind.

This is part of my life. And I’ve come to accept it for what it is.

But the fact is, I'm stronger than my anxiety.

I can fight back. I can put my all into winning my battles.

I refuse to be labeled as weak-minded. So, I will continue to fight each and every time.

And I will win.

So that next time someone asks, it won't be a lie when I say "I'm okay."

Every couple of months, you find yourself standing in front of an unforgiving mirror, nitpicking every little thing that you hate about your body. 

This inevitably sends you into a health kick. You know that you need to start working out and eating right, but your biggest challenge is actually pushing yourself to do it… And then sticking to it. 

1. You’ve recently decided to try everything the culinary world has to offer and if you don’t start right now you’ll never make it to Zambian food.

2. Being lazy isn’t just a hobby, it’s a way of life.

3. Netflix on the couch > Sweating in public…Obviously.

4. Your sweet tooth has kidnapped your self-control and is demanding ransom in the form of sugary treats.

5. Salads (aka LEAVES) are for rabbits, and you are surely not a rabbit.

6. Your bed is calling you for a nap and who are you to refuse such an intriguing offer?

7. Distractions just get the best of you someti— OMG look at that puppy!

8. You’ve decided to boycott your gym until they can stock up on cute boys for you to check out on the treadmill.

9. Chocolate is part of your everyday life and you’re pretty sure you’d just collapse without it. Candy withdrawals are a real thing, OK?

10. You just don’t have enough tupperware to meal plan, so it’s not happening.

11. Exercise clothes are so expensive, you just can’t justify it in your budget.

12. Wine. Nothing more needs to be said.

13. Exercise just really doesn’t fit into your already tight schedule. Oh well…

14. Tbh you just don’t even know how to work out… So you’re telling me that ball works out my abs? But how?

15. At the end of the day, there might be some aspects of your body that you think could use some improvement, but as long as you’re healthy and comfortable in your own skin, who cares.

Whatever the reason may be, you will still always have that thought in the back of your mind. And one day, it will come out in full force. Your day will come when you are finally able to push through and become the healthy girl. But for now, just enjoy life.

Being with him has been a whirlwind of emotions that leaves you completely breathless. Somehow, when you're wrapped up in his arms, everything that was once so confusing  just makes perfect sense. 

Each moment spent with him pulls you closer to the brink of falling, until all of a sudden you realize you're standing on the edge. But your heart isn't scared, because he's standing right below with open arms, ready to catch you the minute you fall. 

1. He looks deep into your eyes when you talk to him, hanging on every word and waiting for the next because everything you say is important to him.

2. Just sitting together in silence feels so good. Neither of you have to say a word because there's nothing sweeter than the harmonized song of two people in love.

3. He's been there for you on your darkest days and has been the light to the brightest ones.

4. You aren't immune to arguing, but when you fight, it's not you versus him, it's that you're both fighting for a better 'us.'

5. Neither of you worry what you look like around the other because the love you feel for one another goes far beyond appearances.

6. He's the fuel to your dreams and goals, forever gassing you up to take on any challenges.

7. Each smile is effortless, every touch feels like fate, and his arms around you feel like home. 

8. Every time you make plans, you paint a picture of your future together that gets clearer every day.

9. He isn't scared off by the realer parts of a relationship, he can handle everything from your killer morning breath to leaving the door open when you use the bathroom.

11. Making you smile when you're down is his greatest skill, he knows exactly how to cheer you up.

12. You can be completely yourself and know that he'll love you for all that you are.

13. Pigging out on food is something you aren't afraid to do with one another.

14. You deal with each other’s crazy families, especially when 'crazy' is too weak a word to describe the insanity that is your relatives.

15. He loves you for all your quirks and flaws, because he doesn't seem them as negatives. They're a part of you, and he loves all of you.

16. It's so easy for you to pretend like nothing outside of your little two person world exists.

17. When he listens to your deepest secrets and tells you his own, neither of you judge the other.

18. You have a mutual respect for one another that goes far beyond the respect you have for anyone else.

19. When he says he loves you, you look into his eyes and see that his love is genuine, you feel his arms around you and know you've found your home.

20. You hear his words and understand everything he means because you feel it too.

Has someone ever done something that made you want to either smack them or go off on a rant? I can guarantee you that every mom has experienced this feeling at least once, although most likely many, many times. If you’re looking to piss a mom off, here are some ways.

1. Giving unwanted parenting advice

2. Kid(s) going to dad or other family member after mom says no

3. Giving kid(s) something after we said no

4. Someone saying, “Oh, it’ll be okay.”

5. Giving kid(s) candy before bringing them home

6. Telling us what they think our kid(s) should be doing at certain ages

7. Telling our kid(s) not to tell us something or keep a secret from us

8. Disciplining our kid(s) without our consent

9. Telling us what our kid(s) should or should not be allowed to do

10. Telling us how to discipline our kid(s)

11. Telling us exactly how we should be educating/socializing our kid(s)

12. Telling us how we should be living our lives now that we have kids

13. Saying we’ve ruined our life by having kids, especially if young

14. Telling us we should stay home with our kid(s), if we work

15. Telling us we should go to work, if we stay home with our kid(s)

16. Saying that being a stay at home mom is easy

17. Saying the we have  to put our kid(s) in preschool

18. Questioning us on when we’re going to have another kid

19. Telling us we shouldn’t have any more kids

20. Telling us that our child(ren)’s medical decisions are wrong

21. Telling us what we should and shouldn’t feed our kid(s)

22. Questioning our parenting

23. Making promises and not keeping them

24. Judging us

25. Being a bully to our kid(s)

26. Talking about us or our kid(s) behind our back

27. Letting our kid(s) do something you know we’d never allow

28. Not acknowledging when a child is special needs

29. Not acknowledging when a child has any type of allergy

30. Not watching or paying attention to their own kid(s)

31. Asking personal questions

If you’ve, by chance, ever done one (or more) of these things, just make sure you watch your back. Because a pissed off mom is what nightmares are made of.

What happens when a mom says she’s going to bed? Well, she doesn’t actually go to bed until hours later. There are so many things on her to-do list that, for one reason or another, didn’t get done during the day.

1.  Clean

Let’s face it. With kids around, cleaning is impossible. So, after bedtime is your only chance to clean and actually admire your spotless house.

2.  Do Dishes

It’s inevitable. By the end of the night, your sink is a mess, full of dirty and disgusting dishes.

3.  Laundry

Do your kids change clothes a million times a day? I bet all those clothes are mixed up, and you don’t even know what’s dirty and what’s clean. Your only choice is to wash everything. Most likely, you’ll pass out and forget about the clothes once they’re in the dryer.

4.  Watch TV/Netflix/YouTube

Because it’s the only time you’re not forced to watch a children’s show or movie on repeat.

5.  Eat Snacks in Peace

We get tired of sharing our food all day long. What’s the shame in hiding our favorite treat until after the kids go to bed?

6.  Browse Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat/Etc.

There’s not enough time in the day to keep up with our kids, let alone family and friends. Social media keeps us connected once the day is done.

7.  Text/Facebook Message

Craving some adult interaction? Usually our mom friends are still awake.

8.  Read/Write

These can be helpful for us to wind down after a long, stressful day. It’s our escape from reality.

9.  Take a Shower or Bath

This is our “me-time.” Hang the Do Not Disturb sign and lock the door.

10.  Drink Wine

Mommy’s special juice is much needed and well-deserved after a hard day of dealing with kids.

It’s likely that the end of the day is the only time that a mom has to really get anything done or have any time to herself. So, don’t judge her by the tired look on her face. She’s trying her best to fit her everyday life into 24 hour days.

Your social media accounts make it seem like your life is perfect and you have your shit together, but you’re actually falling apart.

You go out into the world with a fake smile, but break down when in private.

Tell me… Does this sound like you?

Of course, it does.

The truth is, you’re  not alone.

As a first-time mom, I thought I could handle everything myself. I was determined that I didn’t need help from anyone.

But, I was sadly mistaken.

My daughter was in the NICU for two weeks, which I thought would give me time to get ready.

Then, the day finally came for us to bring her home.

I was a nervous wreck. All I could think was, “I’m not ready.”

But I pulled myself together and managed to put a smile on my face.

My husband and I brought her home finally. And everything was going great… That is, until he had to go back to work.

That’s  when reality really set in.

Suddenly, it was just me and baby.

I was trying to manage taking care of baby’s needs, pumping, cleaning, cooking, and sleeping. Every single day. It became a routine that I just fell into.

I had family offering to come over and help or offering to babysit.

But I refused. I put on a whole façade that I didn’t need help and that life was perfect.

In reality, I was frustrated, overwhelmed, and struggling. I was falling into the pit of postpartum depression.

I spent a lot of time crying and fighting to deal with everyday life.

I knew deep down that I needed help, but I refused to accept it.

After almost a year, I finally realized that both myself and my husband needed some baby-free time.

And those couple of hours turned out to be exactly what we had needed.

After that night, things slowly began to get better.

I began to finally accept some help.

But it wasn’t until my daughter was almost a year and a half old that I was fully able to pull myself out of the depression I had been in.

My  life changed for the better.

I learned that I can’t always be stubborn. I learned that sometimes I do need to accept help.

So mamas, please, take the help when it’s offered. You may not realize right now how important it is it, but you will down the road.

From the moment I first met you, I had a feeling in my gut that something was off. You were a little too friendly with my husband, flirty actually. You couldn't seem to keep your hands to yourself either.

I tried to push the feeling away. I decided to give you a second chance when we met again.

But just like the first time, my gut was telling me that something wasn't right. You were the same way with him as the first time we had met.

I decided right then and there that I didn't like you. I knew you were up to something, but it wasn't until much later that I found out exactly what.

It was a week before my husband and I's second anniversary. I knew you and him had been talking. I had a bad feeling about it that I just couldn't shake.

I decided to take a peek at the conversation between you and him. What I found only confirmed my suspicions about you.

You were flirting with my husband, very blatantly. Not only that, but you were asking him some very inappropriate and sexual questions. Then, you wanted to meet up with him for drinks…alone.

Red flags went off in my head.

Later that day, I confronted my husband about it. I told him that I did not want him meeting up with you alone; that it wasn't appropriate. He agreed with me.

Just recently I found out some information from your husband that really set me off.

That day you were trying to plan to meet up with my husband, you were also looking at hotel rooms.

Yea, I know all about what your real intentions were with him.

I also know about how you and him have been talking on the phone, while he's at work nonetheless.

He is a married man and a father. He's already made a commitment to me and our daughter. I don't know who you think you are to just come in and try to ruin our marriage.

If you want to cheat on your husband, that's none of my business. But go do it with someone that is not my husband.

I'll be honest, after everything I found out, I blew up. At the time, I didn't know the truth from the lies.

My husband and I sat down and had a very long talk about everything. I now know exactly what was true and what was fake.

In the end, none of that matters though. We both agreed that it's best if you and your husband are no longer a part of our lives.

Yes, that's right. He's giving up his friendship with you.

Neither of us want to deal with the drama that you've caused.

So, I guess this is our formal goodbye.

But this isn't just a goodbye, it's also a thank you.

Thank you for showing us that our marriage is strong and that we can last through anything.

Well, well, well. Hello there. Do you know who I am? No? I’m you, but 10 years in the future.

We  need to talk.

At this point, you’re 15 years old and a freshman in high school. Your life as an adult has just begun, and you’re going to have so many important decisions to make.

I’m  here to guide you.

I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did, so here are some words of advice.

First  (And foremost): High School

High school brings a  lot of big changes.

You’ll begin to discover who you are as an individual. You’ll make new friends. You’ll find out what your likes and dislikes are.

Don’t let those things deter you from keeping your grades up. Nothing is more important than having a good education behind you, if you want to be successful in life. Stay  focused!

Second: Sex

Stay away from the older “bad boys.” They’re toxic to you.

It’s okay to want to experiment sexually, but please maintain some level of innocence. You don’t need to put out just for a guy to pay attention to you.

Respect  yourself.

There will be a time and a place for sex, but now is not the right time for that.

Third: Dating/Relationships

You will date many boys, and have actual relationships with quite a few of them.

You must learn to distinguish between the “good guys” and the “bad guys.”

Date with the purpose of figuring out what you like and don’t like in a guy.

Do not pursue a serious relationship until:

(a) you feel comfortable and confident in yourself

(b) you know what you want/like in a guy

(c) you know what you want in a relationship

Do  not ever let a guy change you or control your life.

If you find yourself in a relationship like this, get out immediately.

When you find “the one” you will know. He won’t be perfect and neither will you, but together you will be perfect for each other.

Fourth: Friendships

A true friend is someone who is supportive of you in both good and bad times.

They should be able to give you constructive criticism when needed, and be open and honest with you at all times.

A true friend will be a positive influence in your life.

When it comes to friendships, don’t put up with BS and drama. You don’t need to deal with all that negativity.

It’s better to have a few close friends, rather than a ton of acquaintances.

Friends will come and go, but very few (if any) will stick around for the long haul. They will all serve some kind of purpose in your life. You may not realize it right away, but you will down the road.

Just  remember: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.

Fifth: Preparing for College

Controversial to what you’ve heard, college is not all fun and games.

Do yourself a favor… Look into more than one school, and choose wisely.

Do not just choose one because it’s far away from home.

It’s important to know what each school has to offer you.

Once you’re left with 2 or 3 choices, compare them to see which is going to be the best for you.

Don’t just follow your heart, but also think with your brain. College is a big decision.

Try not to let other people, whether friends or family, influence your decision of where to go. That decision is for you, and you alone, to make.

When you’ve made your final decision, make sure that is actually your final decision that YOU are happy with.

Sixth: The College Years

Focus on keeping your grades and GPA up. This is most important.

Do not skip classes.

Make friends. Lots of friends.

Stay away from drama.

Don’t go out partying/drinking too much. Stay out of trouble.

Don’t let relationships get in the way of your education.

Have fun and enjoy being young and free.

Well, I believe I’ve given you all the advice I can. My only hope is that you’ll take it and apply it to your life. I wish all the best for you. Just know that, no matter what, I will always be proud of you.