Author: MEGAN M

In all honesty, you never thought that this day would come—the day you said goodbye to him and watched as his chapter in your life comes to an end.

He was your first love, he was your everything, you couldn’t picture a life without him by your side. But things change, people grow, and time passes. Soon, you outgrew the relationship.

When you were together, you were so happy, but towards the end, you realized you weren’t as happy as you once were. It didn’t end badly, you both just knew your time together was over. 

Most people would turn the page and move on from there, without looking back. But you should never turn your back on something that once made you happy. 

Don’t ever let the end of a relationship be a slammed door. 

It may be painful at first, but let yourself revisit those memories and you’ll see they only bring you happiness. 

He’s a symbol of joy in your story, when you were with him your heart felt invincible, because it was. He was everything you needed in that moment, he represents all that was good and meaningful to you, and you shouldn’t ever forget that.

In any relationship, you give to the other person a chunk of yourself that you know you’ll never completely get back, but the promise of receiving a piece of them to fill the gap makes it okay. 

When you walk away from someone, you keep what they gave you and you carry it with you forever.

So no matter where life takes you, you’ll always be a part of each other. There will forever be a dusty box of memories in the back of his mind labeled with your name, and one in yours with his. 

A song will come on the radio and a memory of him will float up to the surface, and you’ll wonder if he ever hears it and thinks of you. You’ll think of an event in your past and associate it with him because it was during the time you were together, and a mental image of you two pops up.

Even if you never talk to each other again in life, you know he’ll always have a piece of you, your memories, and your heart.

“There’s a corner of my heart that is yours. And I don’t mean for now, or until I’ve found somebody else, I mean forever. I mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand timed over or once or never again, there’ll always be a small quiet place in my heart that belongs only to you.” —Beau Taplin, The Corner

This show taught me everything from love, loss, heartbreak, and everything in between. The friendships that were formed throughout the seasons on the show were amazing, but the relationships were beyond beautiful.

Peyton and Lucas were always a favorite of mine, but there was something so special about Nathan and Haley right from the beginning.

N: "It's for you."
H: "Stop it, come on."
N: "Don't say I never gave you anything."

N: "Haley, no matter what happens, we'll face it together. I promise you I've never been happier. Everything's going to be okay and I love you."

N: "What I'm feeling is definitely not normal. And to be honest with you, Haley, I don't ever want to be normal. Not with you."

 H: "As long as I have you, I have everything I want."

N: "I made a lot of mistakes Haley. Sometimes because of my dad, sometimes by choice. I just can't do it anymore."
H: "It's okay."
N: "No, no, it's not okay. I lived for tonight. I was so scared, I'm still terrified. Then I saw you. I promised myself that if I could just get up and walk over to you and tell you how much I need you, how much I want you, then nothing else matters."

H: "I gave you my heart and that's all I can give you, and if that's not enough for you, then I'm not enough for you."

N: "Listen this is not a mistake."
H: "How can you be so sure because there is nobody who thinks this thing can work."
N: "I do. I promise you Haley, I will always be there for you, I will always protect you. Okay? I will always protect you. Always."

H: "You still make my heart race. You do. Feel this. My heart is so full of pride and love and joy right now because of you."

N: "There's only a couple things that I'm certain of in life. And one of them is that no matter what happens you're gonna be the one wheeling me around when I'm 80."

N: "I screw up a lot, alright? And being around you, I just, I don't want to be that guy anymore."
H: "Well who do you want to be, Nathan?
N: "I want to be someone who's good enough to be seen with you."

N: "Over the past year, I've learned so much about life and love. And even if I could I wouldn't take back all the bad stuff that's happened between us because it brought us here; This moment, this river. Marry me, Haley. Marry me again in front of our friends and family."
H: "Always. Always and forever."

H: "It's been said that there's one word that can free us from the weight and pain of life. And that word is love. And I believe that. It doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard or that it won't be. It just means that I've found a stillness and bravery in myself with you. You make me brave, and I will love you until the end of time." 

N: "Last year, we stood on a beach and I told you how much I loved you. And I'd always protect you. That day, nobody believed this would work, but I don't think anyone understood the love I have for you because if they did, they never would have doubted us. So, I wanted to marry you again, in front of most of our world, because today when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. It's even stronger now. That love will never waver. Today. And always. And forever."

And if you're lucky, I mean, if you're the luckiest person on the entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.

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Try to live every day as if it were your last. 

1. See the Northern Lights in person.
2. Visit the Grand Canyon.
3. Swim with Dolphins.
4. Go on a Safari Adventure.
5. Visit all 7 continents
6. Go on a road trip.
7. Shower in a waterfall.
8. Learn a different language.
9. White water rafting.
10. Go to Mardi Gras.
11. Float in the Dead Sea.
12. See the London Eye.
13. Visit Times Square at night.
14. Travel to ALL 50 states.
15. Learn to snowboard.
16. Start my own business.
17. Go on a cruise to the Caribbean.
18. Send a message in a bottle.
19.Get a passport.
20. Go to Las Vegas.
21. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef.
22. Ice skate in New York.
23. Swim with sea turtles.
24. Ride a water taxi in Venice.
25. Place a lock on the Lock Bridge in Paris.
26. Camp on the beach.
27. Christmas in New York.
28. Visit the biggest library in the world.
29. Write a letter to future me and open it in 10 years.
30. Zip lining.
31. Hug a penguin.
32. Hold a baby panda.
33. Go to FIJI.
34. Volunteer at a children’s hospital.
35. Write a book.
36. Complete a scrapbook.
37. Visit the 7 wonders of the world.
38. Let go of a floating lantern in Thailand.
39. Go to the Olympics.
40. Attend a Superbowl.
41. Visit a ghost town.
42. Jump out of a plane.
43. Swim under the stars.
44. Learn to surf.
45. Visit a castle.
46. Help children in Africa.
47. Visit the hidden beach at Marieta Islands.
48. Stand in 4 states at one time.
49. Visit Platform 9 3/4 at King’s Crossing.
50. Own a horse.
51. Drive down Route 66.
52. Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
53. Tree camping.
54. Parasailing.
55. Ride in a hot air balloon.
56. Walk on the Great Wall of China
57. Stand on the Equator.
58. Swim in every ocean.
59. Leave inspiring notes for people to find.
60. Bake every item in a cookbook.
61.Backpack across Europe.
62. Take a polar bear plunge.
63. Water tube down a river.
64. Go to Monte Carlo.
65. Stand under the Hollywood sign.
66. Have my own star.
67. Have a paintball fight.
68 Learn archery.
69. Drive a race car.
70. Ride a subway in New York.
71. Sit front row at a concert.
72. Be an extra in a movie.
73. Visit the Titanic in a submarine.
74. Adopt a baby.
75. Jump on a water trampoline.
76. Spend the night in a haunted mansion.
77. Create a time capsule.
78. Walk behind a waterfall
79. Visit the glowworm caves in New Zealand.
80. Grow old with the one I love.

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Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel like you've lost all control over your own life? You feel like in the last twenty-something years of your life, you have absolutely no clue what you've been doing. You constantly question all the choices you've made in life and wonder if you made the right or wrong one.

You see everyone around you living these great lives; they're getting married, starting families of their own, moving into amazing houses, taking vacations left and right and you're still struggling to live paycheck to paycheck with no one but yourself.

Maybe you just gone through a bad breakup or lost an important friendship. You could be struggling with anxiety or depression. 

Trust me, I know exactly how you're feeling and what you're going through.

And when you sit and think about all these things, that's when you feel as though you're not good enough.

But please, please listen to me when I say, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

Life is always going to be full of obstacles, some good some bad, ups and downs. From time to time you will feel disappointed, you'll feel like the entire world is against you, but I promise you, this is normal, it's human and everyone feels this way at some point in their lives.

There are never going to be answers for you, you'll never know why the bad things that happen to you, happen. But every obstacle you face in life puts you directly on the path that you need to be on. So please, don't let yourself stay down for too long.

You need to look within yourself and find the answers there because only you know what makes you happy and what feels right to you.

You need to always remember that failing is a part of life.

No one in this life is perfect, every single person has flaws; they have times, just like you, where they don't feel good enough, when they're unsure which path to take in life. It's things like how we deal with loss, heartbreak, being lazy and unmotivated that is important.

Because at the end of the day you can either let all of those feelings destroy you, or you can get up, fight your hardest and destroy them.

You are good, you are enough, go out there and prove that not only to yourself but everyone else.

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People come in and out of your life every day, but sometimes you stumble upon someone who enters your life out of nowhere and you know it's going to hurt like hell when they leave.

For me, that person was you.

I think a part of me knew, deep down, from the beginning that you would eventually break my heart. But the thing I didn't know is how hard it was going to be to get over you and let you go when it happened.

I knew you were special when we met; you had this fire in your eyes and a smile that could turn my bad days good. You understood me in a way most people couldn't even begin to comprehend. 

I knew I was screwed.

Sometimes, to me at least, it felt like we were brought together for a reason; almost as if there was a higher power bringing us both together because it was part of our plan because they knew that we needed each other in our lives. 

I believe that when we are born, there's a plan for each and every one of us, that our whole life is already mapped out from the beginning; but sometimes I wonder why that plan would have brought you into my life if you weren't meant to stay.

It's cruel actually because you were never supposed to mean this much to me; I never planned on falling in love with you. But you know what? I did. And that's the truth, that's why I keep holding on, because it hurts like hell to let you go.

It hurts because I know that I'll never find the same things in another person, that I found in you. I'll never find another person to calm my soul and make it explode all at once like you can.

I think a part of me will always be hoping, waiting, for you to come home.

That's what you were to me, you were and still are my home; sometimes home isn't a place, it's two arms and a heartbeat that make you feel like you're right where you belong.

There are some things in life you'll never get over, you just have to find ways to get through them.

A part of me knows that I'll never get over you no matter how hard I try, I don't have enough willpower in me to move on from you and let go, to forget you, forget us. 

You broke my heart and I don't think there's any way that you can fix it now. You broke your promises, you broke my trust and faith in you, in anyone honestly from here on out.

But I guess at the end of the day, even though you're not with me and you hurt me, I still want to see you happy; I still want what's best for you because I am still so in love with you. 

And that's why I don't think I can ever love again, I can never choose love again if this is what heartbreak feels like.

There's a part of me will always be waiting for you, but I know I need to let go because maybe it's just not our time.

Maybe we'll meet again, when we're a little bit older, our minds a little less hectic. I'll be right for you, and you'll be right for me. But right now I am chaos to your thoughts, and you're poison to my heart. 

"You do your thing. I'll do mine. You go your way. I'll go mine. And if we end up together, it's beautiful."

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“I feel like I’m in the wrong world. Cause I don’t belong in a world where we don’t end up together. I don’t. There are parallel universes out there where this didn’t happen. Where I was with you, and you were with me. And whatever universe that is, that’s the one where my heart lives in.” – Comet

I don't recall a time, even when I was younger, that I ever truly believed in love. 

I never dreamed of my wedding or my prince charming, or in my case, my princess while growing up.

The concept of love was something that I could never grasp; I think it was because love is something that wasn't concrete, I couldn't hold on to it to make sure it couldn't go anywhere. 

That scared me.

I could never imagine myself falling in love with another human being, loving that person more than anything in the world. 

I couldn't imagine giving myself to someone else, trusting them not to hurt me, not to break me.

Until you walked into my life.

I remember when we first met and I felt all these things that I've never felt before; it was all new and exciting to me.

I remember how easy it was for us; how the conversations just flowed and we'd talk for hours upon end.

I also remember you telling me that's I was going to end up falling for you. I swore up and down that I had too many walls up, that it takes a lot for me to fall for someone. 

That I wouldn't fall for you. But boy, I was wrong.

I don't exactly know when it happened or how it happened. 

I don't know if it was your laugh, your smile or your eyes that made me fall for you the way I did. To be honest, I think I fell for you long before I realized, accepted that I did.

I could have walked away right then, but sometimes you make a choice in a moment and you know in your heart it's going to change everything you've ever known.

Things came so easy and so natural with us, that you'd swear we knew each other our entire lives.

I never believed love was real until I met you, now I think that life isn't real without it. I can't imagine a world in which we don't end up together. It hit me fast and hard, this sudden complete realization that I was made for loving you.

Despite how awful our relationship got at times, I wanted to say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for our relationship, because I needed it. 

I needed you in this life.

I needed you to show me what love is, to make me believe in it. 

To make me see that there is someone out there that I could love more than anything in this world, someone that I'd give my own life for.

I feel like I've loved you in lifetimes before and that wherever our next life takes us, I'll find you there and love you just the same.

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“The sadness never goes away, the silent tears still flow. You’re thought of and so sadly missed more than you’ll ever know. But now you’re with the Angels safe and sound in Heaven above, we hold on to the memories and treasure them with love. Yet special times like Christmas often make us wonder why God took you from this world, it was too soon to say goodbye. But memories are precious and will last a lifetime through, we know that God has chosen you to be his Angel too.”

What’s it like in Heaven? 

That’s a question that I ask myself most days since you left this life to go start a new journey. 

I wonder if it’s beautiful and always sunny; if the grass is always green, the oceans and skies always blue. If it’s everything you always told me it was like.

I wonder what your birthday is like up there; do you celebrate it? do they sing to you? Is there cake and ice cream? Balloons? Anything? 

I wonder what the holidays are like, especially Christmas because it was your favorite. It was our favorite. It was something we shared together.

Does it snow in heaven? I sure hope so. 

You and I both loved the snow, watching it fall in the early hours of the morning when the rest of the world was deep in sleep.

Holidays are no longer holidays without you here and I don’t think they ever will be again.

I try for you. I try my best to act like everything is okay and that a piece of my world isn’t missing, but it’s hard. 

You were a part of my life for so many years and in the blink of an eye, you were gone. In the blink of an eye, everything I ever knew was gone and my world was turned upside down.

There’s always an empty seat at the table, missing your presence. 

Traditions that we had since I was a little girl that are no longer there; holiday baking, decorating the tree and the house together, watching our favorite ABC Family movie “3 Days” together, letting me open gifts on Christmas Eve, ect,. because even though I’m not a little girl anymore you always tried to make Christmas magical for me.

I hope you still do all of that in Heaven; I hope you make Christmas magical for all the little ones up there without a mom or dad because anyone would be blessed to have you in their life, I know I was blessed to have you in mine.

I miss you, every second of every day, but this time of year just hits me hard. 

People told me when you passed away that the pain and hurt would lessen, that as time goes by, it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did the first time without you. 

I don’t think that’s true, I think as time, life, goes on the pain is still right there, just as big and awful as the day I had to say goodbye to you. 

This is my second Christmas without you and it’s by far harder than it was last year.

I hope those people are right, though. I hope that one day I’ll be able to enjoy this time of year again; that I’ll find someone or something to make it as magical for me as you did.

I would give anything in the world to have you home this year, to have one more day with you. 

But I know that you’re still here, you’re still with me even if I can’t see you anymore.

Merry Christmas, I hope it’s as magical for you as you always made it for me.

I love you, always and forever. 

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After my last relationship, I told myself that the next relationship I get in would be my last. 

I made a promise to myself to not let another person break me down and destroy who I am.

But then you came along and you changed all of that.

All the time I spent building these walls of mine up and all the promises that I made to myself came crashing down when you walked into my life.

We hit it off from the very beginning.

All the smiles, all the laughs. It was all perfect. We were perfect. 

I was happy for the first time in a really long time and I know you were too; it was as if fate brought us together because we needed each other, we needed to find each other at this exact moment in life.

But like all other things in my life, all good things come to an end.

I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming days, week, even months before hand but I didn’t and boy did it ever break me when I did.

I let you into my life, I trusted you and you broke me to pieces. You left me feeling like I wasn’t good enough, that no matter what I did or how hard I tried, the things I did for you were never enough and they never would be enough.

We went our separate ways for a while. You did your thing and I did mine. 

But we both knew that something, a piece of us, was missing and we knew it was each other.

We started talking again, not like before, but we became friends again and life made sense one more time. It wasn’t how I wanted you in my life, but I knew that I’d rather have you in my life as a friend, than to not have you there at all.

I accepted it and I was okay with it for a while, but you were always there in the back of my mind.

You told me to move on, that I needed to find someone else because you didn’t think you were right for me, so I did just that. 

But you and I both knew that it wasn’t going to be as easy as it sounds, because when I fell for you, I fell hard. 

You’ve got a hold on me, you don’t even know the power you have in your hands. I could stand a hundred feet, but come crashing down when I’m around you and you know that.

You played this game with my heart whenever you wanted. You would say most of the things I wanted to hear, you’d reel me back in like a puppet on your strings and you knew I’d come crawling back.

Then you said it. You said what I’d been wanting to hear for months.

I want you. I want us.

I knew not to trust you again, but I also knew that this is what my heart wanted, what it needed so I let you back in even though every ounce of me told me not to do it.

I really trusted you this time, I thought things would be different. 

Once again, you proved to me why I can’t trust people.

Once again, you broke me and you let me down.

Even though I know you don’t mean to hurt me, you keep tearing me apart 

But you know that I’ll always be there. You know that you can say all the things I want to hear and I’ll come back because I love you.

I know it’s not healthy and I know I deserve better.

I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t just let you go.

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The 90’s had some of the absolute best shows and I don’t think many after have been able to compare to them.

1. “There’s no need to rush fate.” —Dawson

2. “Dawson, how do you know you’re in love?”

“When you can walk 100 miles with them and never get sick of them. When you can’t sleep at night, but you think of them. When you stare at them in school, but when they look at you, you turn.” – * Joey to Dawson*

3. “To love someone when there is no chance of that love ever thriving…that is romance.” —Joey

4. “Letting go isn’t a one time thing, its something you do everyday, over and over again.” —Andie

5. “No one’s gonna come along and tell you what’s expected so you know how to succeed. Relationships are messy. That’s their nature. They start messy, and they end messy, and if you ever want to have another relationship in your life, you better just stop worrying about the mess. ” —Audrey to Joey

6. “I’ve never really put much faith in all that ‘if you love someone, set them free’ crap, as evidenced by everything I’ve done in my life up to this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always—I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man’s friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now.” —Pacey

7. “How can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them all you can think about is how much more you really want them?” —Dawson

8. “If we are truly meant to be, then we’ll find a way back to each other.” —Dawson

9. “She’s so beautiful that when you look at her your knees tremble, your heart melts and you know, without reservation, that there is order and meaning to the universe.”—Pacey

10. “You have this moment. No matter where your life takes you, you can look back on this and know that you did a great thing. That’s something that all the girls and all the things in the world can’t replace.”—Mitch

11. “A city like New York, where every thing’s moving all the time at this constant driving pace, it’s like a living organism, breathing and changing. And over time, your relationship to it becomes like this incredible romance. At first it’s intoxicating, irresistible, and then slowly it becomes comfortable and safe. You have this cellular connection to it, as if you’ve known each other forever, like your oldest happiness. Sometimes you’re on the outs and sometimes you’re making up. And every now and then you catch yourself in this transcendent moment where you think to yourself …”I’m madly in love with you and I always will be.” And I think that’s when it surprises me.”—Theo

12. “I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and things have a wonderful habit of working themselves out regardless of how you may plan them to the contrary.”—Pacey

13. “What are you gonna do? You just wanna sit here for your entire life waiting and hoping for the world to come to you?…People’s lives – their real lives – only begin when they step out into the world. And when you do that, when you meet it head on, maybe you change the world, maybe you don’t. But the point is, is that it changes you. And that is what people mean when they talk about growing up.”—Eddie

14. “I don’t think that everybody meets the love of their life when they’re a teenager. Or when they’re 25. Or even when they’re 35. But that doesn’t mean that you stop looking and hoping. You know, ’cause you will meet that person. And when you do, I guess you know it.”—Jen

15. “As much as I thought I wanted us to be together, I guess what I want more is to be one of those people who lives every moment of his life without indecision and without regrets. Someone who dares to disturb the universe without a thought to the consequences. And you’re not one of those people, at least not yet. Maybe you’ll prove me wrong about that one day. I hope you do. But who knows? Maybe people can’t change. Maybe we’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again no matter how hard we try. I always hope for a happy ending. How crazy is that?”—Eddie

16. “I used to be afraid of so many things…That I’d never grow up. That I’d be trapped in the same place for all eternity. That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It’s true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day you’re dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. ‘Cause there are things I wanna tell her – to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is – it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it’s because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can’t swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.”—Joey

17. “I guess I feel different. Like, I’ve always had this tendency to assume that change, when it happens, can only be for the worst, y’know? And lately I kind of feel like that’s not true. Like, whatever’s waiting for me out there may not be that bad, and even if it is, the not knowing about it might actually be the good part.”—Dawson

18. “It’s life’s little twists and turns and bumps and bruises that make you who you are.”—Pacey

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