Author: Annie Brown

What you failed to understand is the fact that I’ve seen it all. I know what it’s like to have your heart broken by people you trusted too many times. I have witnessed the hurt that people experience from all sorts of relationships and for some crazy reason I decided to give this one a try. 

I guess the thing that gets me the most is I wasn’t even looking for you. I was so content in my singleness and loved every aspect of my life without a significant other. Then you came along. You came out of nowhere and made me feel something different. You made me feel so special, like I was the only girl in the world that mattered to you. Everyone has heard the saying that “You’ll find love when you stop looking.” Well… that’s exactly what I thought too.

For a while there we were perfect. We were like two gears that fit perfectly together, weren’t we? But something changed. It wasn’t me, it was you. You decided I just wasn’t enough for you. I poured out every ounce of love I could possibly give a person, and it still wasn’t enough for you. Instead of accepting that I couldn’t be what you wanted, I kept trying. I never wanted to give up on us and what we had because it was once so good. And instead of being honest with your feelings, you kept me around for your own benefit.

In the moment of it all, I guess I just had faith in you, but I know better now than to put my hope in the wrong people. You convinced a girl with demons of her past that she was finally safe only to rip that away for another person. And now you’re saying you want to be “friends”. What sickens me most is the fact that you knew every aspect of my personality. You knew exactly the hurt and pain my background came with, and you still lied. But it was all some kind of sick game to you, wasn’t it? You used and abused me and instead of asking for forgiveness, you’re asking even more of me.

You broke my heart and for some reason you still believe we could make it work, but the answer is no. The truth is I’m not going to waste more of my time fighting for someone who isn’t willing to fight for me in return.

You don’t need to give me reasons to be upset. I have plenty. I’ve lost people I’ve cared for. I’ve loved those who didn’t deserve it. I’ve seen countless people come and go to the point where I thought people weren’t even worth investing in.

I don’t need the reminder of all that's been broken in my life.

So I’m tired of you making me feel like I don’t matter. Lying to me over and over again, you say I have no friends. You say no one loves me. You say my thoughts, opinions, and feelings aren’t important. 

You take a perfectly simple day and make it feel like a disaster. You seek these little moments of weakness to open up a deep rooted sadness that I didn’t ask for. I go from a perfectly normal moment to crying in my bed alone, because I don’t think I’m capable of doing anything better.

You say I don’t deserve to be happy and now I finally have the strength to tell you you’re wrong.

I may not be Miss Popular with a million followers on Instagram, but I have a solid group of people who loveland support me. When times get tough, I have people to lean on. I hear their truths over your lies.

Maybe I’ve been through hell and back, but that doesn’t mean life isn’t worth living. And it doesn’t mean I’m alone in what I’m feeling either. 

So stop invalidating my feelings and ruining perfectly good days, because I am strong. And I’m going to keep fighting against the awful things you tell me, because if there’s one thing I’m sure about myself it’s this:

I don’t quit.