5 Differences Between Real Best Friends and Fake Friends

Your twenties is the time in your life when you are constantly making new friends through friends you already have, school, work, social events, etc. During this time, you begin to learn a lot about what it means to be a real friend and the traits that you look for in a true BFF.

 

Sometimes, you think a new friend is going to turn out to be your new best friend, but that ends up not being true. Other times, you begin realizing that some of your oldest friends may not be the most true either, which is always tough.

 

Here are some ways you can tell the difference between someone who is a true best friend, and someone whose “friendship??? you may want to question:

 

A Real Best Friend is genuinely happy to see you succeed, and genuinely sad for you when times get tough.

 

5 Sure Signs You Need a Life Change

Change can be difficult, but it is necessary in order to learn and grow as an individual. Even more difficult, sometimes, is figuring out what it is that needs to change in your life.

I think that we sometimes become so comfortable in our situations, that we do not even realize they are unhealthy or not making us truly happy.

Whether it be where you live, your relationship, your job, or certain friendships dragging you down, there are certain identifiers to look for that will tell you it is time to change something in your life.

1. You feel like the joy has been sucked out of you.

Maybe you just are finding that you aren’t laughing and smiling like you usually do, and you can’t put a finger on why that may be.

It might be time to evaluate things in your life if this is how you feel. What is it that is taking that joy away from you? Do the people you surround yourself with make you feel happy or stressed?

Feeling like you just aren’t your normal, happy self, is definitely the first indicator that you need to change something.

2. You feel unmotivated.

If you are a generally driven, hard working person, and you find that you have zero motivation to better yourself, that is the biggest sign that it is time to better yourself.

Obviously it is difficult to motivate yourself when you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, but sometimes you have to force yourself to figure something out.

If what you are doing in life is not serving you purpose enough to stay motivated, it is time to move on to something else that you will be passionate about.

3. Tired is an understatement; you are downright drained.

You go through your days like a zombie, and it feels like you can never sleep enough.

Everything seems boring and it is difficult to be excited about things.

This is a HUGE sign that it is time to change something, because once you feel drained all the time, you could be heading towards depression.

4. You find that you are irritated by small things.

You might be noticing that you are snappy with co-workers, friends, or your significant other.

Things that typically would not bother you at all start driving you absolutely crazy.

If you find that you are overreacting to minor things, this could mean that you need to change your surroundings, be around a different environment and different people.

5. If you really think about it, you realize you are not prioritizing what is important.

Maybe you took a job that was off the path of where you saw your life going, and now you are just caught up in your day-to-day, mundane routine.

You may have stopped having meaningful conversations with your significant other or your friends, and all of your interactions are superficial because you don’t want to talk about the important things.

This means that it is time for you to really think about what it is you want in life, and what it is that will make you feel fulfilled.

We all feel stuck sometimes. We all go through ruts, and feel tired and unmotivated at times.

But if you are constantly feeling these ways, it means that you are missing something very important in life: true happiness.

The thing about being human is, you might feel like you are stuck, but no one ever truly is. You have the power to move, to change, and to grow.

So, if you feel like you can relate to a lot of these feelings, it is probably time for you to stop making excuses. 

Stop making excuses for staying in your sh*tty relationship. 

Stop making excuses for not letting go of toxic friendships. 

Stop making excuses for staying at a job that is unfulfilling. 

Stop waiting. The only person who can change your life is you.

This Is Why Seeing Your Relationship Status on Social Media Is Annoying AF

Admit it, we’ve all seen these kinds of posts on social media:

“Today, I came home and my significant other had done the dishes and the laundry! I am the luckiest person in the world to have them in my life! #Blessed???

Wow! Congratulations, you are dating someone who can complete the same chores as an 8-year-old child.

Now, I’m all for appreciating the little things. But it seems like so many people glorify their boyfriend or girlfriend for completing the simplest of everyday tasks, or for just being nice to them.

Your significant other is not a puppy who should get a treat every time they go potty outside instead of on the carpet.

If you are in a relationship with someone, and especially if you are living together, it should be a partnership. Both parties should be regularly contributing to household chores. 

Sorry, but unless you’re dating a lazy POS, you really don’t need to be over the moon when they vacuum the carpet or take the trash out.

It also should not be Facebook post worthy EVERY SINGLE TIME they say or do something kind for you. 

Your boyfriend held the door open for you at the movies? 

Your girlfriend sent you a text saying she is stopping at the store and wanted to know if you needed anything? Great! Sounds like you are in a completely normal relationship.

Chances are if someone feels the need to constantly validate their relationship on social media, it is more than likely not that great.

A person who says and does nice things can easily be a person who is still an asshole. 

Don’t make your standards so low that you are shocked and amazed when they display common human decency towards you. This goes for anyone in a relationship.

Like I said, the little things are very important in a relationship, of course, but the whole world does not need to know every time your significant other treats you well. 

That should always be expected when you are in a loving relationship with someone.

You should be blown away by someone’s character, values, morals, accomplishments…those are the big things worth celebrating and appreciating.

6 Ways Dealing with People's Bullshit Makes You the Real MVP

Anyone who has worked in the service industry knows how exhausting it can be, both physically and mentally. 

You probably know exactly what it is like to sit in your car in the parking lot of the restaurant/ fast food place/ retail store/ etc. where you are employed, practicing your Lamaze breathing before you enter the insanity for a shift that may be scheduled for 5 hours, but could easily turn into 12 before you know it.

As someone whose work experience consists mainly of retail, I know that most feelings towards working in the service industry are negative. 

Those experiences with nasty customers, long shifts, the insanity of busy days/ holiday seasons, are always the ones that stick out the most in your head if you’ve had to work in that kind of environment.

Although you will deal with a hell of a lot of bullsh*t working in the service industry, it is important to remember that there are positive aspects of working these jobs that will be beneficial to you in the future.

1. You will learn to treat people decently. 

Working in customer service teaches you to demonstrate kindness towards others, mostly by showing you exactly how you don’t want to be treated.

Though it is unfortunate that you likely have experienced most customers either being blatantly rude, or just not that friendly in general, it definitely makes you appreciate the customers you get who are nothing but pleasant towards you. 

You are probably the person who gets irritated when you are at a restaurant with people who don’t say “please??? and “ thank you???, and the person who puts back everything exactly where you found it when you are shopping at a retail store.

2. It will be the ultimate test of patience. 

Dealing with rude customers, people being impatient with you when you are busy, being pulled in all different directions during your shift, all while having to keep a big smile on your face and maintain a polite demeanor is MUCH more difficult that people realize. 

Trust me. 

However, someday you will be very grateful that you learned those skills.

Being patient with people is something that will benefit you in many ways: in your relationships with friends, family, significant others, and co-workers. 

Those are just a few examples, but someday you may find yourself in a situation thinking, “This seems bad, but nothing compares to that one customer I had to deal with five years ago…??? and you’ll take a deep breath, put on that Customer Service Smile, and handle it.

3. You will learn to multitask like a boss. 

This is no joke. 

You might feel like you’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off, but in the retail industry, there is a type of satisfaction that comes from completing a big store project, running go-backs, AND accomplishing your sales goal for the day.

Multitasking is a skill that many people lack, but is extremely necessary to possess. 

When you’re running around doing 12 things at once, you’re basically just being prepared for parenthood, so you can thank your customer service job someday when you are chasing a toddler and trying to clean your house at the same time!

4. You will meet great people and make lifelong friendships. 

Working in the service industry brings all kinds of people from all different ages, backgrounds, and walks of life.  

Many people whom I call my best friends currently are people I met while working retail.

These will be the people you will be able to b*tch to incessantly about your job and not only will they not get sick of it, they will always chime in. 

They are the friends who you will spend 8+ hours with during a day and still want to grab drinks with after your shift. 

Being surrounded by hard-working people like yourself who are grinding it out, going to school, working two jobs, etc. will be a huge motivator to you.

5. You will learn that sometimes, it is necessary to stand up for yourself. 

Although managers in the service industry might leave this out of your training, you may come across an instance where you have to politely, or maybe not-so-politely depending on the situation, stand your ground.

People seem to think that because they are customers, they are entitled to act however they want no matter how inappropriate, and to say whatever they please no matter how rude it may be. 

There may definitely be times where you will have to put someone in their place and remind them that you, too, are a human being. 

If that gets you into trouble at your job, so be it. 

You have every right to establish boundaries with people, and there will be many other instances in your life that will require you to do so.

6. You will learn the importance of having a strong work ethic. 

This is the skill that will help you the most in your career choice, no matter what that may be. 

When I started out working in retail as a part-time sales associate, I never thought much about the possibility of advancing in the field. 

But that didn’t stop me from working hard and taking any and every shift offered to me.

Having a great work ethic has led to outstanding references for jobs, and has helped me advance on to higher management positions at young ages. 

This looks great on a resume no matter what field you choose to pursue, and you will honestly be able to do almost any job after managing in the service industry.

If you ever find yourself having one of those awful shifts at work and you are convinced the next tiny thing is going to make you walk out that door and never come back, just remember that someday you will be thankful for your time spent working in the service industry. 

You won’t ever regret the lessons you were taught, or meeting the people who became your work-family.

The Path Less Traveled: Rethinking the College Plan

When I was in high school, teachers and counselors spoke about going to a four-year university directly out of high school so matter-of-factly.  We did not think that there was any other way to go about life.

It seemed like there was no other order of life than to:

Graduate from high school. Go directly to a university. Live in a dorm. Have “the college experience???. Graduate in four years. Start your career.

Then, get engaged and married to the person you probably met at said four-year university and have babies, live in a big house with a white picket fence in suburbia and live happily ever after. The end.

If this is truly what will make you happy, and you have the means to do so, more power to you! But if you are unsure about what you want to do when you’re 18 years old and graduating high school, that is also perfectly understandable and extremely common.

 What if you aren’t sure a four-year university, or college in general, is for you? What if your family just doesn’t have the financial means for you to go to an expensive college, and you don’t want to end up in debt for ten plus years after graduation? 

What if you get a job that you genuinely enjoy and have opportunity to grow without having a degree?

Something they might not tell you in high school: you have options, and you can find success other ways.

You do not have to decide your life path at 18 years old, and the pressure that is put on teenagers to do so is just ludicrous in my opinion. 

There are so many ways to go about your life, and sometimes, life just happens. Unplanned events happen.

Maybe you will decide to take a break from school and work full time to make some money because you want to be able to live on your own. Or you might decide that a trade school or a shorter program makes more sense because it is less expensive and less time consuming. 

Maybe you will start thinking that paying $80,000 or more for a piece of paper just doesn’t make sense for the kind of life you want to live.

As I said before, if it works for you, that’s great. I’m not saying that college is a total waste of time, or that you don’t learn a ton of valuable life lessons from going. 

I am 24 years old. I have been working since high school, working full time since about 19 years old, started managing at the same age, and became a retail store manager at 22. I found full-time employment two weeks after moving to Denver last year. 

While I did attend college part time for most of the time that I was working, I, currently have no degree past my high school diploma.

I have decided to give it another try after over two years of just working full time. College can be a wonderful thing for people, but that doesn’t mean it is your only option, or that there aren’t dozens of ways to get a degree.

You have one life; do with it what you please and do what makes sense for you. Do your research before you make a decision, you don’t have to just fall in line with the norm. 

As long as you are happy with what you are doing, are able to have a roof over your head and food on the table, you are doing perfectly fine.

Remember: A piece of paper will never define your intelligence level, character, work ethic, or overall worth. 

4 Things to Remember When Loving Someone Who's Grieving

As human beings, some of our worst fears involve losing those we love. Imagine waking up to earth shattering news, being in utter shock and disbelief and going through the next few days as if you were in some kind of long, terrible nightmare. 

That is only how I can imagine my boyfriend felt on a cold November morning in Michigan, waking up at a friend’s house to a phone call that he had lost both of his parents, and his family dog in a fire at their home.

When this happened, my boyfriend and I were not yet together. Our families were close, but at the time, I didn’t know that I would end up falling in love with him just a couple of years later.

Being with someone who has gone through an awful tragedy can be challenging at times, especially if you are like me and are a very empathetic person, but sometimes find it difficult to find the right words to say out loud. 

Throughout our time together, because of what he has gone through, I have altered my outlook on certain things. I have learned and continue to learn about the best ways to be supportive with my gestures and words, even though many times in a situation like this, there just are not any words.

1. Don’t say, “I understand”… More than likely, you don’t, and you probably would never want to completely understand. 

Everyone goes through different things in their lives, of course, and most people have had to experience a loss of some sort. But that doesn’t always equate to a sudden, tragic and life-altering event. Either way, everyone processes things differently, has their own timeline of grief, and has their own perception of their experiences. 

You cannot perceive things from their point of view; you can listen, and try to put yourself in their shoes in order to be an empathetic partner, but you will never fully understand how they feel or what their life is like after that kind of experience.

2. When they want to talk about it, encourage them to do so… So many people have difficulty talking openly about a tragedy they’ve faced, and openly getting emotional about it, but in a relationship, those are important things to be able to share. 

As their partner in life, you must let them share their feelings, especially when they have gone through a traumatic event. Even if you don’t always know what to say back, it is so important to listen to and assure them that you want to hear the things they want to share with you.

3. Don’t be afraid to show emotion about it yourself… Even if you won’t ever fully understand what they go through on a daily basis, when you love someone, their pain becomes your pain. Their joy becomes your joy. Their sadness becomes your sadness.

When my boyfriend gets emotional when he talks about memories of his parents, I always do too. It is important for them to know how much you care and that you are always there for them, unconditionally.

4. Lastly, you will learn to appreciate what you have… I cannot begin to imagine losing my own parents, my home, and almost all of my photos and memories. When someone close to you has lost so much and talks to you about it, you cannot help but be overwhelmed with gratefulness for the people in your life. 

We tend to forget that we are not guaranteed another day, even though there are constant reminders of this. You cannot say “I love you??? too much to your family, friends, significant others, etc. 

Tell the people you love how important they are to you while you have the chance; the last thing you want is to wake up one day regretting that you didn’t, and no longer being able to do so.

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