Author: Vanessa

There are two things I'm certain of: Life and Death. Both are inevitable. The great part about that is that life is a blessing given to each of us. The scary part is that one day, all of us will no longer be on this Earth.

I haven't lost a whole lot of people (thankfully) but I have experienced the people I love most lose people who meant the world to them. Death is painful and tragic no matter how the person left this world. Witnessing the loss of people from all ages has taught me a few things…

1. We have impacted more lives than we think

Sometimes life has a way of making us feel small. Making us feel like we aren't that important. That everyone would be better off if we weren't here. But that isn't true. Each person you meet and develop a relationship with is one life that you've changed forever. Whether it's in a big or small way, you left a print on that person.

2. We have a short time here (or long, that's up to God)

None of us know for certain when we will die. Life is entirely too short to be upset over the small stuff. It's too short to not chase your dreams and try to be who you always wanted to be when you grew up. So get your hair wet in the pool, take a spontaneous trip, make a move on your crush. We only have so much time here.

3. You never know how much someone means to you until they're gone

This one's unfortunate but so true. As humans we have a tenancy to take things and people for granted. We think they'll always be here, there's always time to fix a mangled relationship, there will be an opportunity to see that person again. But that isn't always the case. Cherish the people in your life while you have them! Which brings me to my next point…

4. Speak up

About anything and everything. Voice your opinion. Take a stand for something you believe in. Tell the people you love the most how much you care about them while you can!

5. Your happiness should be your biggest priority

You don't want to spend your entire life unhappy, miserable and complaining about everything, do you?? I didn't think so. Do more things that make you happy and less things that don't. Cut your hair if you want to, dye it any color you'd like, get a tattoo, travel. Whatever makes your soul happy… you should do more of that.

6. Cherish every moment 

Like I said earlier, we only have so much time here on Earth. Try to really take in the moment when you're in it. This moment won't last forever, so make sure you can relive it in your dreams. Make the best of every situation, even if it's hard.

7. Put down your damn phone

The people you love the most won't always be here. The moments you partake in won't last forever. However, your phone will. So put the damn thing down and live your life! Instagram, Twitter and Facebook can wait.

8. Take pictures and videos (even if you think you look gross)

I know it's slightly morbid to say but pictures and videos are some of the last remains of our loved ones we have after they're gone. I've come to truly cherish each and every picture I have of my loved ones. So if someone wants to take a picture of you, let them! Be silly, smile, make a crazy face. Just take the picture!

Lets take a moment to thank God for Cody Johnson, and bringing back a man who truly is about making real country music! I fell in love with his music over a year ago and there isn't a single song of his I haven't loved.

Cody's written many great love songs that contain lyrics that any girl would want to hear from a man. Here's a list of some of the most heart melting lyrics Cody Johnson's written:

• With You I Am:

Strong as an oak, soft like leather

High as a pine and light as a feather
  The same ol boy but a whole lot better whenever you’re holding my hand. 

• Wild As  You:

I could stay with you like this

Till the day love don't exist.

• Finally Free:

I watch the fireworks explode inside your  eyes

 And I  couldn't help myself I was hypnotized,

And I knew I wanted you.

• The entire song “The Way She Loves Me”. But  here are a few lines:  

I love the way my mama swears she's the one  for me

 I  love the way she looks when she wears my grandma's ring

 And I  love the way she looked at me on the day that she said yes. 

• Proud:

Man I work like hell til the sun goes down  and then

 I  rest my head next to the most beautiful thing you've ever seen

 Lord  only knows what she means to me

 Solid  as the rock on her left hand

 She's  proud to be my woman

 that's why I'm proud to be her man.

I hope you swooned half as hard over these lyrics as I do!

I started dating my boyfriend ten months ago. In the beginning I had no idea this amazing, talented man struggled every single day with a disease – depression. As time went on he opened up to me about a lot of intense things. Depression was the last thing I thought he would tell me he suffered from.

Depression is a relationship killer. Depression makes the one you love the most in this world, not want to be here anymore. That fact alone is unsettling, and many people run for the hills when they hear someone suffers from this. Let me tell you, depression is not beautiful. It's a tornado of guilt, shame, and doubt. It turns the most confident, loving person into someone you don't recognize.

Every day is a battle and the only casualty is you. You can be having the best day but when one thing goes wrong, the world can come crumbling down. Suddenly it truly is as if the world is ending. The person you love loses that spark in their eye that you adore so much. They can't get out of bed, the thought of eating makes them sick, and nothing you say or do can make it better.

I think that's the hardest part for me. See, I'm a fixer. When something's wrong, I just want to make it better. To end the suffering for that person.  But with depression, you have no control. You can't snap your fingers, do a little dance and make everything better. Any joy you produce is short lived until the one you love is able to find enough strength to get up and face it head on.

You can't heal someone from depression. This is something they will probably always have and suffer from in some capacity. For me and my boyfriend, we just take everything day by day. Some days are better than others. Hell, we can have a great month and all of a sudden the tornado's back. It holds my boyfriend captive and tortures him every second it sticks around.

I would give anything to take his pain away. To be the one who suffers instead of him. And I guess that's what love is. Just wanting the person you love to be better and see how magical they really are. To get them to realize how important they are to this world. Unfortunately that's not something that you can do when depression brings it's ugly face around.

Loving someone with depression isn't easy. It's ugly and hard. It's staying up all night not being able to sleep because you know the person laying next to you is battling demons right now. It's sending 'I love you" and "you mean so much to me" texts every hour just trying to make them realize they are more than this. It's walking on eggshells for a while so you don't make things worse.

No loving someone with depression isn't easy, but would you believe me if I told you it's all worth it?

Geminis tend to get a bad rap, but honestly, we're some of the best people to be around. Not only are we the life of any party, but we can make you feel like you are too.

1. Gemini is the sign of twins, which means we can be loving and soft, but we also have a side that’s a ruthless bad ass.

2. Our dual personality doesn't mean we're two-faced…

3. We’re just able to see both sides of a story – it helps us offer a unique perspective.

4. We can be wild and crazy one minute, then ready to crawl into bed the next…

5. And while we're usually pretty loud and outspoken, but we'll be quiet as a mouse around people we don't trust.

6. Geminis can come off as fickle, but that’s only because we have two vastly different sides to balance.

7. We’re the perfect mix of sunshine and hurricanes.

8. Being a Gemini means having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on another and we never know which side is going to win.

9. We have an ability to turn on a charm that will melt anyone’s heart.

10. Geminis love the idea of being in love, but hardly ever settle down.

11. We tend to make people fall in love with us without even really trying. We’re just that good.

12. You don’t want to piss us off, because Geminis have a way with words, and we know how to make them hurt.

13. Don't even bother trying to debate us – we'll crush you…

14. We don’t claim to be experts on everything, but we definitely know enough to school your ass.

15. We’re basically unlicensed therapists; not only do we want to hear about your problems, we can almost always help.

16. Ok, maybe we're a touch nosy, but we can’t help it.

17. Geminis are emotional, but not in front of anyone. If we show you how we're really feeling, consider yourself super lucky.

18. We can come off as cold. Try not to take it personally; we’re probably just worrying about some imaginary scenario we’ve dreamt up.

19. Geminis can detach from people easily; this is our defense mechanism and once we’re gone there’s no changing our minds.

20. We may seem a little unorganized, but we know exactly where everything is. We like it this way.

21. Constant stimulation is essential for us. If we're bored, there's no telling what we'll do to entertain ourselves.

22. We're great at pretending everything's okay when, in reality, our worlds are falling apart. You won't be able to tell the difference.

23. Geminis are extremely youthful; we're always the life of the party.

The reality of being someones secret is heartbreaking. To act like "just friends" in public and then lovers in private isn't fair for anyone to go through. Why am I good enough for you at 1 am but not 1 in the afternoon? Why are you okay with taking off my clothes but not with diving into my soul?

Is it fair that I was always there to listen anytime you needed but I had to beg you for a few hours of your time? 

How dare you tell me you share things with me that you don't with anyone else. That you've told me stories of your family that some of your closest friends don't  even know. How dare you spill out your hopes and dreams to me with no intent on making a place for me in that future.

Why can't you see that I've been breaking my back trying to get you to see me as more than a casual hook up? Am I not worth more than that? The answer is yes, i'm worth a hell of a lot more than to be used by you.

If you can't see what I bring to the table, then consider your invitation to dinner revoked.

I used to be ashamed to admit I had not only been married by 21 years old, but also divorced. I refuse to let that be the case now. I can either let my past hold me back or I can grow from it, and I choose growth. My philosophy is as long as you learn and take away from a situation, it wasn’t a mistake. 

You really can’t change a person.

I tried to change my ex into the person that, not only I wanted him to be, but ultimately who I thought he could be. I tried to see the best in him, tried every single day to encourage him to become better, but in the end, it never worked. The person you’re with will only change if THEY want to.

Being high school sweethearts is overrated.

Let me say this loud and clear… Just because you’re with someone in high school does NOT mean this is the person you’re supposed to spend your life with. You change throughout those years and even more after high school. The person you are in high school isn’t the person you’re going to be afterwards. People change and grow and most of the time that means outgrowing your relationship 

AND THAT’S OKAY.

Don’t let the fear of starting over keep you in a toxic relationship.

I know starting over and being alone sounds scary when you’re so used to being with someone but let me tell you what’s even more scary… winding up married to a person who’s completely wrong for you. 

Make the move. Leave them. You’ll be okay in the end, I promise.

Your happiness is absolutely essential for a great life.

I spent so many years dreadfully unhappy; borderline depressed now that I think about it. When I finally left my ex I became the one who was responsible for my happiness. I will never again be in a relationship that has more fighting going on than love and happiness. 

Know your worth and stand up for it. Happiness is all that matters!

Being divorced at 22 years old isn't exactly how I pictured my life when I was younger, but here I am.

I always envisioned falling in love young, getting married and having babies at 21. Well.. that's almost exactly what I did. I dated someone we'll call "C" from now on. We dated for almost seven years before we got married. I was 21, he was 22. After marriage he wanted to start having babies immediately. This scared me shitless to say the absolute least. Suddenly all my childhood dreams were coming true but it was no longer what I wanted. I started thinking about what I wanted out of life and this definitely wasn't it.

I lived in denial for so many years about just how toxic our relationship was. We were possessive over one another, suffocated each other with our presence, and the fights were an all out brawl. Though the relationship wasn't physically abusive, it was extremely emotionally abusive; on both our parts. We both turned into the worst possible versions of ourselves and became people we no longer recognized in the mirror.

Just two months after our wedding, I sat "C" down and told him I wanted a divorce. A week later I had moved completely out of our house and was living as a single woman. This was the first time I had been single since I was 14 years old. Do you know how terrifying that is?? Luckily I had three amazing friends by my side and a supportive family so this whole process wasn't as scary as I had originally imagined it would be.

It's been a year now since I left my ex-husband and I feel like I can finally breathe again. Many people don't understand why I got married if I was no longer in love and that's perfectly fine. This is my life and meant for me to understand, not anyone else.

The rest of my articles will be personal accounts of what it's been like living on my own as single woman in Houston, Texas. You'll read stories about the people I've dated and what I've learned from them. I fell hard for one person that took me almost this entire year to get over. I met several douche bags and "fuck boys" along the way and even a few amazing guys. Most importantly, one man who changed everything for me. Stay tuned.

Sincerely, 

Morgan

I never asked for this. You were never supposed to mean so much to me.

You came into my life when I was at the most vulnerable stage in my life. Naturally I clung to you as if the very air you were breathing would save me from drowning. I had spent so many years in a miserable relationship where I was numb, but when I met you everything changed. I felt emotions I hadn’t experienced in years and found myself craving your presence.

This happiness was short lived. Just as quick as you came into my life, you left. Only… you weren’t quite gone completely. You made sure to pop in and out of my life for several months. Weeks would go by without a single word from you and I swear I could literally feel myself going crazy. I found myself coming up with any way to initiate contact with you; posting several snapchats on my story, asking you to hangout, and even making sure I was at the gym when you were.

My entire day’s mood became solely dependent on whether or not I talked to you. I could feel my friends irritation growing more and more each day that I stayed hung up on you. I tried my absolute best to get over you because it wasn’t fair for you to play this hot and cold game with me. I don’t mean to put all of the blame on you because I’m definitely at fault for remaining hopeful for too long that one day you’d realize you wanted to be with me.

I wasn’t sure the day i’d be over you would arrive, but thankfully here it is. I no longer beg for you to hangout with me, I don’t look forward to seeing you at the gym and I certainly don’t jump at my phone each time it rings hoping that it’s from you.

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so I trust fully that God sent you to me. But as of now, I’m still unsure exactly what that reason is.