Getting a divorce is not something that newlyweds envision when they first walk down the aisle together. But the truth is, many couples face challenges in marriage and a happily ever after isn’t always in the cards.
When two people come together and try to save their marriage, it’s a beautiful thing. But not every couple is able to fix what is wrong in their relationship. In fact, sometimes it can be emotionally or physically dangerous to stay in a toxic marriage.
Separating from your partner is not always a bad thing.
It can lead to change, personal growth, better mental health, or in some cases, even a stronger marriage when you get back together.
Here are 6 reasons why it’s sometimes necessary to separate from your spouse.
1. It Can Damage Your Mental Health
Being around someone who irritates you or mistreats you can be extremely frustrating and hurtful. It can also affect your stress levels.
Studies show that living with chronic stress over an extended period of time can negatively affect both your mental and physical health. Symptoms of stress include fatigue, low energy, body pains, frequent colds, low libido, upset stomach, constant feelings of anxiety, feeling like something is always wrong.
If your partner treats you unkindly, you may also start to lose your self-esteem, which can affect your mental health and make you believe that you do not deserve to be in a healthier relationship.
2. It’s Bad for Your Children
Are you staying together for your children? While it’s true that children suffer emotionally, academically, professionally, and romantically when their parents get divorced, that doesn’t mean you must stay in an unhappy marriage to appease your children
Staying in an unhappy marriage where there is constant stress, arguing, and tension in the household is unhealthy for your family unit, especially your spouse is verbally or physically abusive.
3. It Can Be a Catalyst for Change
Just because you’re separating from your spouse doesn’t mean you have to run out and get a divorce. In fact, many couples benefit from a temporary marital separation.
If you are separating with a view to potentially getting back together, it’s important to set ground rules. For example, set a time limit for how long you will be apart and do not date other people while you are separated. If you are separated from your spouse, use it as an opportunity to get to know yourself on a deeper level. The last thing you need after leaving your marital partner is to jump right into a new relationship.
Being apart can give you and your spouse the motivation you need to work on your marriage and improve your communication skills. This will help you come back together stronger than ever.
4. It’s Exhausting Being Unhappy
German poet, painter, and novelist, Hermann Hesse said “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”
Being unhappy is absolutely exhausting. It drains your patience, your emotions, and turns you into someone you can’t recognize in the mirror.
You should not feel that this makes you a quitter or a bad person to leave a marriage to someone who abuses you, is constantly stepping out on your marriage bed, or who had problems with addiction.
It takes strength to take control of your life and let go of a marriage, but sometimes it is what both parties need in order to be happy.
5. You Deserve Respect
If you are unhappy in your marriage, it is likely that there has been a breakdown in communication. When couples no longer communicate, the entire relationship falls apart. It has a ripple effect that impacts your marital friendship, your sex life, and your overall well being.
You deserve to be happy, and more than that, you deserve respect in your romantic relationship.
Respect increases partner engagement.
It also creates a fair environment, reduces stress, and makes you feel comfortable in your relationship. When your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries are respected, your confidence and comfort soar.
6. Your Social Life is Drying Up
Unhappy marriages can often turn controlling.
Your partner may start to manipulate or gaslight you in order to get their way. This can cause you to drift away from your friends, family and make you feel isolated and alone.
If you are not in a controlling relationship but your social life is still non-existent, there may be other factors at play. When you are unhappy, the last thing you may want to do is get out and socialize.
Perhaps you do not wish to spend time socializing with your spouse or you don’t want people to know that you’re in an unhappy marriage. But friends can help you through difficult times. Studies show that receiving support from family and friends after a trauma or breakup can significantly lower psychological distress.
Being unhappily married is a hard, stressful, and emotionally exhausting journey. But you do not need to stay miserable for the rest of your life. If you have exhausted all of your options for making your marriage work, do not view your decision to separate as a failure. View it as a new chapter in your life.
Author Bio:
Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. You can find more from Rachael on social media:
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Want to read more about marriage on PuckerMob? Check out Being a Wife to a Hard Working Man.
